People Divulge The Strangest Thing They Realized About A Family Member Growing Up
Traditionally, when you're a kid, the adults in your life may try to shield you from the realities of the world. But eventually, we realize our parents are also people with full lives lead before we were even a glimmer in their eye.
Once you've grown up, you might put together the pieces you couldn't see when you were younger.
As we lose our innocence, we come to find out a lot of strange things may have been happening right in front of us, but only time would reveal those truths.
Redditor imnotsteven7 asked:
"What's something you realized about a family member once you got older?"
Here are some of the things people realized about their family much later in life.
Dad was trying his best.
"When I was a kid my dad and I had a tradition every week of going to the video store and renting a movie or two to watch together. I remember I used to get really upset at him because every single time we'd actually start to watch the movie he would fall asleep."
"It wasn't until I was older that I realized that the reason he would fall asleep was because he was exhausted from working two very physically demanding jobs to try and give me the best life he possibly could. On top of that, even though he was tired he still made an effort to try and start a little tradition with me and spend time with me."
"Those memories of me having to nudge my dad awake are so great in my eyes, because they made me realize what a caring and hard working man he was and still is to this day."
- -eDgAR-
"That my father (who I blamed for my miserable childhood) was possibly the best person I have ever known. Turns out, I made my childhood miserable all by myself; he was just trying to correct my path whilst raising 4 kids as a single parent and slowly dying from cancer."
- Bramyam
"You were a turd kid but grew up into an introspective adult. How did you achieve that?"
- Arctic_Snowfox
"Emotionally difficult life circumstances and events humble you, and make you realize that good things are taken for granted."
- FistInMyUrethra
What being the "cool" adult really means.
"My aunt was always the fun one who gave awesome presents because she was living well beyond her means, drowning in crippling debt, and committing various financial crimes."
- MightyMinx
"Yup. The 'cool' adult when you’re a kid, always turns out to just be an irresponsible adult."
- Proper_Praline
"My friends and classmates whose parents were 'cool' turned out to be terrible parents in hindsight. Letting your kids and their friends drink and smoke weed openly in the house when they are waaay underage is sh*tty parenting."
- Vegetable-Double
He had a traumatic past.
"That my dad actually had a pretty traumatic childhood. His mom died recently and he and his semi-estranged siblings are working together for the first time since they were kids to clean out her house. I've been learning a lot of new childhood stories as a result."
"My mom told me that my dad has always told her that the best thing he can do to make up for his sh*tty childhood is to give me and my siblings a better one. My dad isn't an emotional, lovey dovey guy at all, so hearing that really got me good."
- ActivityFar178
"My father does not show emotion either, I realized he cared about me when I saw how my friends parents treated them vs. How mine did. As I grew up I realized my dad matured at a very young age for similar reasons."
- spenser1994
He was "traveling."
"That my uncle wasn’t traveling—he was doing 30 years for homicide."
"He was working for sketchy people at some time and the gray area between legal and illegal sometimes gets mixed up over here, so according to him he didn’t do it (which is plausible) as all evidence was circumstantial and he was not directly affiliated with anyone and the people he worked with murder was far from an uncommon option to solve issues."
"He was condemned on qualified homicide with maximum sentence of 30 years, did I think 22 under closed regime and a few more in open and right now is completely free after some sentence deductions."
- Much_Committee_9355
Cop or gangster?
"My uncle was/is a gangster. I thought he was a police officer because of all the guns he always had with him."
- shooki007
"This is funny to me because I have a cousin who I thought was a criminal because of how he looked. Turned out he was an undercover cop at the time."
- pris-0
"I used to live between a cop and a drug dealer. Both great neighbours."
- nanfanpancam
It can take time to see what's right in front of us.
"That my grandfather, who was the best grandfather I could ever ask for, had been a sh*tty, abusive father."
- Hemenucha
"I finally pieced together that my grandfather, who raised me, has never been sober in my entire life. He started drinking in the morning, stopped when he fell asleep. He ran a pawn business with a full glass of scotch always within reach, even in view of customers. He fired a manager for suggesting he hide his drinking."
"That glass was never empty nor left his side, even while driving with my child self in the car. He went so far as to pack a cooler specifically for ice and booze on road trips. He once got on my a** for asking him not to bring a literal open glass of alcohol into my car when I started driving as a teenager. Still, it took me a ridiculous amount of time to realize he was an alcoholic."
- Pervy_writing
"Conferences" aren't what we thought they were.
"That my parents were smoking pot when they had their 'conferences' before watching Godzilla movies with me as a kid."
- StoneCold_SteveIrwin
"I call it getting air lol but I'm sure my kids know."
- Pkdagreat
"My parents called it 'talking about Christmas/birthday presents' and that’s why we weren’t allowed in the garage when their friends were over."
- BananaSlug1876
The gay relatives.
"My uncle didn’t go out to California and THEN turn gay."
- Accomplished-Fig496
"My aunts that live together weren't sisters."
- Trollamp
He was right.
"That my uncle was right about my mum."
"He suffered with alcohol addiction due to depression and when my rabbit died he accused my mum in a blind rage of killing my rabbit. He was drunk so I didn't really believe him but he said I'd realize what she was like when I was older."
"Then it hit me about a incident when I was little my mum was cross at me shed taken my hamster to the bath put him in the tub and threatened to drown him. Turned on the taps and I beat her legs pushed passed her and got him. I started thinking if she did that was it possible she'd killed my rabbit."
"I don't think she did but over the years as I grew older I noticed more and more what my uncle meant he died in 2009 at 40 from pneumonia in our house."
"My mum was being odd when I got in said she was waiting for the doctor for him and then we found him not breathing in his room, I don't think she deliberately didn't call a ambulance earlier but there's always a part of me that wonders."
- ExpensiveMoth
Auntie Was A Man
"(Originally my uncle) is a transgender woman and going to see her as a kid I didn’t understand the concept of transgenderism. I knew she was a woman but in a way she wasn’t, living with her girlfriend."
"My younger sister was smarter than I was and clued in at 4 years old that two girls living together must mean they were lesbian."
"Another thing about that is that I always knew that she was my moms sister but always wondered why she never came to family dinners or for Christmas or birthdays."
"Then all these years later I hear my grandpa talking about his political views and realized he’s a pretty far right conservative and it all came together."
– motorcitywings20
Blood Money
"I always thought my uncle was just a great fun guy that was always a blast to have at christmas dinners. He used to give me $50-100 for Christmas (which is a lot of money for a 9 year old). My parents would get big cuts of expensive meat and expensive bottles of champagne...."
"Turns out he's just a raging heroin addict and mostly those gifts were obtained through crime."
– DPEYoda
The Grandfather's History
"So this isn’t me personally but it’s mainly my mom and grandfather who found this out about my grandfather’s brother."
"My grandfather had a military family all of his three brothers went to Vietnam and Korea. He on the other hand couldn’t go due to him having polio as a young child and messing up his leg. My entire family knew about his brothers being in the military and going off to war and killing people. However, one of my grandfather’s brothers was ALWAYS traveling or gone on “vacation” (you may see where this is going)"
"This all happened when the guy was in his 20s - 30s and then he retired from the military. Going ahead 40+ years my whole family was sitting around the table during thanksgiving and having a good time. I wasn’t born yet so idk what happened specifically. My grandfather’s brother then stands up while everyone is eating and hits his glass with a spoon to get everyone’s attention. He then proceeded to tell everyone he was a spy for the CIA and how he would go on recon missions into Mexico, Vietnam, Korea, and MANY other places. He had just turned 75 which is the age when he is legally allowed to spread the information because most of the information would be of no use by then."
"The few times I met him he was a great guy with the nicest wife. He had the classic biker beard and really long hair. He has sadly since passed away along with my grandfather. His stories however still remain!"
– yougaygitrekt
The Disorder
"That my 'aunt' (My grandmother's cousin? ) acted differently because she was mentally handicapped due to some disorder caused by inbreeding. Her parents were Appalachians, her father was named Alpha Omega and he got caught banging his cousin behind a shed and the family made them get married. They had several disabled children."
"Edit: disorder was PKU. She and her siblings all had it, it is known to be an incest issue. The baby doesn't initially develop handicapped but becomes that way due to an amino acid building up in the body and causing brain damage. It is treatable now so the kids don't become disabled I think? Wasn't treatable back then."
– SincerelySasquatch
Swingers
"My aunt and uncle were swingers and that’s why the couples living on either side of their house kept moving in, getting a divorce and moving out."
– Lifes_like_this
Blended Family
"Was part of a blended family, and found out my grandparents on my adoptive side were putting money away for my younger sister who was biologically related to them, but not me. I was adopted at 6 and my sister was born that year. They didn’t start saving for her until I was already 10, meaning I’d known them longer than my sister."
"They also would make a point to tell me how I was just as real family to them as anyone and blood didn’t matter. I found out when my parents got divorced at 18 that the whole time they were giving my sister money and not me."
"Gut punch."
– josiahpapaya
Tragic Past
"An uncle was an alcoholic who got into an accident and killed a family of four. He survived. He didn't serve a day in physical prison, but mentally, he was wrecked."
– Viker2000
You Never Know What Anyone Might Be Struggling With
"I always thought my Uncle was just naturally mean and didn't like us, in reality he was just in an unhappy marriage and took it out on everyone else. Since his divorce I still can't believe it is the same guy."
– Alert-Coconut6503
Reflecting back on our childhood can be difficult, but often healing.
We may realize the people in our lives were trying their best and we didn't see it at the time.
However, we cannot change the past.
We can only move forward with the knowledge we have now.
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Everybody needs a job.
But some colleagues can be an issue.
And some careers and jobs bring about those that have work ethic issues.
So what do we do?
We make it work, of course.
We pray and hope everyone will do their best.
Redditor Glaurung1536 wanted to discuss the people we all work with, so they asked:
"Which profession attracts the worst kinds of people?"
Some jobs are the worst. So maybe it's not always the people.
Bad Influence
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy"Ok so not really a profession but… there is a certain subset of musicians who are also wannabe influencers… particular people who are very on twitter. so back-stabby and clout hungry."
curoku
The Worst
"I’m a casino dealer. People losing money brings out the worst qualities in them. Especially when I deal high limit games. Plus the pit boss/supervisors won’t throw a person out who is literally spending thousands. Doesn’t matter what they do or say. The casino doesn’t want to lose those kinds of patrons."
"They’re catered to. They can be so awful to the dealers. The job has made me look at humanity in a completely different light lol."
"Pro relationship tip: Bring a date to the casino and see how they treat the dealer if they’re losing. You’ll see what kind of person they really are. I have about 10 years of experience in the industry."
kaioina
Crazy Eyes
"Stockbrokers. I have some friends who are stockbrokers. I love them, but man, they are some bullsh*t artists. And not like, 'Oh, they're a good salesman, and could sell you anything,' No, it's like they make sh*t up as they go along and try to sound confident in what they say."
LawnGuyLand94
"I have met a couple people who were successful, lifelong stockbrokers. To be a successful, lifelong stockbroker, you actually have to like what you do. They all had crazy eyes. Each and every one."
RoofClinger
Drive On
Giphy"Tow truck drivers. At least 80% of all the tow truck drivers I've met have been felons, and about 98% have been shady d**kheads."
Blue8Delta
Tow truck drivers are definitely gruff.
Bounced
argentina deal with it GIFGiphy"Bouncers. I swear those people are always looking to create trouble so they can exercise their right to kick a**."
hatredwithpassion
"Former bouncer in my youth, and I can 100% confirm that most of the drama we were in was caused by the two biggest guys that just wanted to f**k with people and brag about it while we were having our after-shift drinks."
nifaryus
Lifeless Humans
"Paparazzi."
SuvenPan
"Absolutely lifeless humans. Audio-visual bottom feeders with a camera, searching for scraps and the next payment. Not only does their profession provide something that is arguably valueless, but the means to produce it is abominable. Predatory mannequins that need removal."
ByTheCreed
Sell. Sell. Sell.
"Pyramid scheme. Property agents."
polymathicus
"I have had a few friends that have become realtors later in life. The ones that stayed with it, it totally changed who they are. After a few years they are hardly recognizable as the same people. Vein, shallow, and 100% of the time they are in character and trying to sell."
StrayMoggie
Big Impacts
"I thought I wanted to be an architect… but then I met a bunch of architects. And architecture students. And architecture professors. And they were pretty much all A-holes. It was weird. I mean… how could it be so consistent? But there ya have it."
oferchrissake
"I used to teach in a program that often fed students into the world of architecture."
"Every semester I would orchestrate one charette where I would bring in architects to critique student work. No matter how much coaching I did (to both visiting architects and students) students would feel crushed by the feedback. There were almost always tears."
"I often hear back from students that it was the most impactful part of our work together."
Str8intothestorm
Hands Up
Super Troopers Police GIFGiphy"Law enforcement - double-edged sword, because it attracts the best and the worst."
"The best in people who want to help, protect, and do good. The WORST in people who want to exact authority over people. Power-hungry a**holes who are insecure and have short fuses and low tolerance for defiance. If you can't handle someone defying you without losing your sh*t, you shouldn't be a cop."
bluepillblues69
So many jobs full of questionable people.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments.
We can't all know and be experts in everything, but there are some things that are vital for us to know, like the basics of keeping a clean home and cooking simple, healthy meals.
But a lot of us were raised in households that taught us a lot of those vital basics, leaving us to have to figure them out on our own.
Redditor Wehause asked:
"People who love to cook, what tips and tricks do you have for beginners?"
Key Rules in the Kitchen
"Prepare everything before you start cooking. Cooking can be so stressful if you ignore this step."
"Clean as you cook. Waiting 20 minutes for that soup to simmer? Take that moment to clean."
"You don't always have to every the recipe down to a tee. Sometimes improvisations can work just fine."
"Food tastes a bit bland? Add more salt. Does the food taste like it just needs something? Add an acid (vinegar, lemon juice, tomatoes, etc)."
"Taste. Your. Food. Don't be like me, the id**t who used precise measuring spoons for his first two years in the kitchen. Add a little bit of salt/spice. Taste it. If it's a bit under-seasoned, add some more. Doing this is how you build up intuition in the kitchen, and it's how you learn how to season things intuitively."
- Distinct_Water_5075
Clean as You Cook
"To kinda go along with the 'Clean as you cook', keep your work area clean, too."
"Set aside something that is your designated trash collector on your counter, so as you're chopping or whatever, all the onion papers, garlic skins, and carrot ends have a place to go."
"I like using paper plates or the meat tray so once I'm done, I can just pick up the whole thing and throw it all away at once."
- iluvhalo
Prep Ahead of Time
"Prepare everything before you start cooking. Cooking can be so stressful if you ignore this step."
"AKA 'Mise en place,' or for us casuals, 'get your s**t together.' Truly makes everything go much smoother."
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) is continually horrified at using 'so many bowls and cups.' Dang lady, I’m running the dishwasher anyway, so why does it matter? Even if hand washing a prep bowl is like a ten-second cleanup."
- AtlEngr
Go with Medium Heat
"The only time I ever go higher than exact medium heat (aside from boiling something) is to do a quick sear. Always medium or lower."
- ConsiderationWise205
Seriously, Medium Heat!
"I can’t even say this loud enough or repeat it enough. Medium heat!"
"In college I had a friend ask how I made grilled cheese both melty and without burning. He was just putting it on high and sticking the sandwich on the pan."
- luvitis
Intuitive Spicing
"Taste everything as you cook and do it often. All cooks should be doing that but if you are a new cook it's even more important. Not tasting as you cook is like covering your eyes as you paint or plugging your ears as you play music."
- bajesus
Learn from the Recipe
"What you want to do is cook a recipe as is exactly the first time you make it. Otherwise, you really can't properly evaluate it. Halving the sugar since you want less can drastically impact the target flavor. So make it according to the directions once and then rate it."
"You'll end up with a library of actual good recipes (seems rare in this click-views blogging age, unfortunately). Then you can adjust the next time you remake it if you think it should be altered. Or since you now know what it should taste like, measure by feel until you perfect making it again and again without measuring."
"Now you're a chef and creative modifications will soon follow. But doing it properly first will teach you more than just winging everything."
- 7ht4tguy
Take a Note from 'Pirates of the Caribbean'
"If you're cooking recipes are more like guidelines than rules. If you're baking, a recipe is a doctrine."
- NGC_1277
Know the Basics and Go Wild
"If you understand the basics of baking, you can go wild. But it's the 'understand the basics' part that stumps people."
"People hear that baking soda can't be substituted for baking powder (which is true) and then they're terrified to alter a baking recipe."
"There's a book called 'Cooking for Geeks' that's a good read. It gets into the chemistry of acid-base rises, the Maillard reaction, and other underlying principles."
"The trick is to understand what's going on, to learn the savvy to grab vinegar so beaten eggs hold their shape when you don't have the cream of tartar."
- doublestitch
That Steak, Tho.
"Clean up as you cook. If you’re not using a utensil or strainer or whatever you use anymore, clean it while you wait. I’ve kind of made it a game to see how efficient I can be while cooking. It’s kind of fun."
"If you want to make a steak delicious baste it in minced garlic and butter. Then after you’re done basting it, drop your veggies or whatever side in the pan, and shake it around. I’ll do this if I’m trying to wow someone with a good meal. Not the healthiest but is the tastiest."
- Ac997
Start Simple and Grow
"Choose simple recipes, follow each step, and consider why they might be important."
"Give it time, don’t try to rush things through, most food takes time to let the flavors combine."
"Look at cooking videos or read cookbooks, even if you have no intention of making that specific recipe it might give useful information you could have used in other recipes."
"I can recommend looking into authentic Italian cuisine, often simple recipes with few ingredients but the techniques to each step can be crucial to the finished product."
- Daddebuff
Know the Textures
"Not something that will apply to everyone's style of learning, but when I was learning to bake and cook I did a lot of things by hand the first few times and then used a mixer or other tools later. For me, it helped to understand the different possible feelings and textures."
"I knew what to look for when I introduced more appliances and tools because I knew how it felt and how it needed to look from doing it more slowly first (dough is the best example, but there were many other things too)."
- goanaog
Be Careful with the Cookware
"I learned that lesson in my early 20s. You don't have to spend 100s of dollars on good cookware but 50 to 90 dollar set works well."
- geri73
A Hot Pan is Your Friend
"Make sure you let the pan heat up before putting food in it."
- JustDave62
A Necessary Companion
"Get a knife sharpener. I paid like $12 for mine, on clearance, and the difference after sharpening is night and day."
- 314159265358979326
None of these tips are particularly complicated or groundbreaking on their own for someone who frequents the kitchen, but each of these will make a new cook's experience that much sweeter and more savory.
Did we miss any pearls of wisdom? Let us know in the comments below.
We're human, and we can acknowledge that we all make mistakes.
But there's a limit to how much grace any person can be shown for their slip-ups.
In fact, there are some mistakes that a person could make in a single day that could ruin the rest of their lives.
Redditor TunaSaladWithBeans asked:
"How did somebody you know ruin their life in one day?"
Second Chances Included
"Not a barn burner but still pretty bad considering the 'adult' involved. TLDR (Too Long; Didn't Read): So-called adult failed to adult after numerous warnings and went off a metaphorical cliff."
"The clown was a senior married reserve Naval officer who also had a job at a nuclear power facility that required a Top Secret Clearance. He got deployed as a reservist to do classified work in Europe. Nothing James Bond but still not something the US wanted people to know about. It was plenty cushy too: living in a luxury hotel with lots of paid time off base to check out the sights."
"But the clown decided to hook up with a German woman and have an affair. The military doesn't care about that so long as you're above board with them about it so you can't be blackmailed. They don't even tell the spouse. This is spelled out once you get a security clearance."
"He didn't tell the military; they found out another way. But the unit went easy on him. His commander told him either tell his wife or stop seeing this German woman. If he did that, there'd be no consequences; if he didn't, there'd be h**l to pay."
"This warning was repeated to this clown on multiple occasions. The clown said he'd stop. Then he went off to Germany on vacation to, you guessed it, hook up this German woman."
"The commander took it personally that the clown ignored his warnings, disobeyed orders, and lied to him. Go figure. The commander fired him from the cushy job and revoked his security clearance, which ruined the clown's reserve military career."
"Because he needed a security clearance at his civilian job, he lost that too. And of course, his wife found out and divorced him."
"I suppose the clown recovered from this and is doing OK. But I imagine it's just as possible he's living in a van down by the river."
- Eric_da_MAJ
A Life-Changing Drive
"A dude I met was 18 and had been drinking. He was driving down a rural road when he lost control of his car, and flipped it. "He killed his passenger, who was his best friend."
"He was charged with a felony DUI and manslaughter. He was really messed up by this and knowing that he killed his friend haunted him."
"He was also an avid hunter and had to give that up because he was banned from owning firearms as a felon."
"He was in his thirties when I met him and he was pretty messed up."
- teaching-man
Over Before It Began
"Had a friend in college. We were both training to be Pilots. His dad owned an insurance company and gave him the company's credit card to pay for all his flight hours with."
"He got about two years in when he finished his first license. ($30k-50k) Got a DUI halfway through his second license."
"Pilot career down the drain. On top of that, his father's company will be paying for it."
- taylorman8181
Keep Checking In with Friends
"A childhood friend who relapsed from drug addiction. He ingested fentanyl and died all alone in a filthy basement."
"He had been looking healthier, we reconnected, and he was planning his life going forward sober. That hurt a lot, that hope being taken away in a few minutes."
"F**k opiates, fentanyl, and those who deal it. Too many lives are lost every day."
- TheBklynGuy
Hot Off the Press
"My boss had his dream job as a sports editor of the local paper, a nice family, and a young daughter. He called one day to say he wasn’t coming to work."
"Turns out he was busted trying to meet up with a girl he met online for sex, and the girl was actually a cop."
- esmerelda_b
Celebratory Loss
"My friend's wife was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said she had about a 10% chance of surviving."
"She scheduled her surgery for a month out, and without telling him, took out several credit cards in just her name. She ranked up $100,000 in debt in that month flying around the world and doing everything on her bucket list."
"She had the surgery and chemo after and... lived. She was fine. That debt completely f**ked up their lives for about 10 years."
"The husband, my friend, knew she was traveling. He saw the roughly $10,000 added to their joint credit card. He did not know she had taken out credit and was hiding an additional $90,000 in debt."
"And his wife honestly thought she would die, and then the credit cards would close the accounts and the family would owe nothing. Which is not exactly how it works. So luckily that did not happen."
"It f**ked up a lot of things. He lost his DoD security clearance because of it (people with a lot of debt, can be bought). And he took a less-paying job as a federal contractor, where I met him. But he honestly does not regret it, and is happy to have his wife and kids all alive."
- Bug1oss
Serious Matters
"I knew a guy my freshman year of college. Easily the most socially awkward person I've ever met. Not necessarily a bad guy but a really weird one."
"He was expelled for making a bomb threat. No idea what happened to him after that but I can't imagine anything good."
- cfbethel
Mob Mentality
"Brother of a friend went out drinking with some scumbag 'friends' people had warned him to stay away from. Late into the night, there was an argument with one of them. My friend's brother ended up being part of a group that beat this poor guy to death. He won’t see the outside of a prison for a good 20 years now."
- MargotChanning
Tragically Anticlimactic
"Guy I went to high school with was diagnosed with testicular cancer when we were about 25. For months, maybe years, I would see updated posts about the progress he was making with treatment."
"Then one day he posted on Facebook that he was cancer free. The next day he was dead."
"To celebrate, he'd gone out that night and got absolutely wasted and fell down a flight of concrete steps outside his flat in the early hours of the morning. By the time he was found in the morning, he was gone."
- vicki5150
Just Heartbreaking
"A friend of my parents was a good family man who loved his family. One day he was playing with his toddler and was playfully tossing her on the bed. She would get back up giggling and he would toss her again."
"In one of the tosses, he threw her a bit too far and she hit a bedpost. She lived but became bedbound, unable to even talk."
"He went to jail for child abuse. He lost his wife, his job, and his little girl would never be the same."
- IIVIIORTAL_K
Losing Roulette
"An old coworker went to Vegas, felt really good about his odds due to the liquor, and ended up betting his entire life savings on roulette and lost. He ended up losing his house, his wife, and kids, and from what I've seen he lives in a tiny apartment and works a min wage job."
- Dire-Dog
New Work-From-Home Fear Unlocked
"He ate dinner alone, choked, and died."
- waterloograd
Holy Debt, Batman
"Some kid in our senior year of high school pulled the fire alarm every day. He was getting away with it for a while."
"The school had town officials and the chief of the fire department and the police come in and talk about the dangers."
"The town would send trucks and be without them if there was another emergency. None of that worked."
"When they offered a reward the kid’s friends ratted him out. His family had to pay for all those calls, he was expelled from school and didn’t graduate."
- JediMasterPopCulture
Prescriptions Needed
"A week ago, my little sister slipped on the ice getting out of her car and hit her head. She didn’t think much of it when she had a pounding headache later, figuring she just whacked herself good."
"Her friend told her to just sit down and take it easy until she started slurring her words roughly 10 hours after the fall."
"They called an ambulance for her, but she was going into cardiac arrest. Turns out she’d stopped taking her blood thinners she was supposed to be on for clotting issues. The headache wasn’t the fall, it was the clot in her leg cutting off blood to the brain."
"At the age of 26, she never recovered and leaves behind a four-year-old and two-year-old."
- KearneyZzzyzwicz
Hero Status
"A day horribly altered my life. I was a teacher and coach. For a field trip, the principal 'could not afford two busses,' so I had to walk about ten girls to the field trip location, and back to school, while the one bus was filled with the rest of the junior high students and faculty."
"It would be about a mile each way. I chose the girls of my team because they would listen to me outdoors, unlike lots of middle school kids."
"While crossing the street in the crosswalk, with the walk signal in our favor. All the kids went first, and like girls, they were clumped together and chatting while walking."
"I noticed a woman made a left turn into our crosswalk and never saw us as she tried to accelerate to beat an oncoming car. I knew she was going to run right through the girls."
"I pushed the kids forward, very forcefully. Most of the girls fell onto the pavement in front of other vehicles waiting at their red light. (They were badly scraped up, like road rash from me pushing them. But no hospitals or doctors were needed for their scrapes.)"
"I don't remember the impact. I remember seeing a Pontiac symbol between the headlights. I came to, and I was in a whole different lane, facing where I had just come from. I could not get up. They say my body went up the car, and off the driver's side, tearing the side mirror off the car and breaking her windshield."
"Horror and sobbing from my student-athletes. The girls raised me onto a backboard when the ambulance came, which must have been traumatic."
"Now, 20 years later, I am still an ambulatory wheelchair user. I can't teach or coach. I can't work at a desk. I have chronic pain. Yes, my life can be really sucky, but I would not change what I did that day."
"When I get low emotionally from all my limitations, I remember those girls. I watched them go to college, get married, grow into mothers, and hold impressive jobs in their fields. And when they show a photo on Facebook of their happy moment, it recharges me to know they are safe, healthy, and happy. And it reaffirms my decision to save them from harm."
- CannaBeeKatie
Most of the subReddit shared stories of drug and alcohol use or negligent driving. But some of the stories were far more tragic than gross, and there were even some heartwarming stories thrown in.
But the conversation is an important reminder to be mindful of our actions since they truly could change our lives in a moment.
What separates a human being from a monster?
It's an age-old question about humanity. How is a species that is born out of love and blessed with the ability for critical thinking and making others happy capable of committing unspeakable acts of horror?
The scary thing is anyone is capable of the worst kind of crime–taking another's life.
Does it take one unfortunate moment in a fit of rage or cross paths with the wrong individual resulting in a person snapping and killing someone?
Or, are some of us born with the murder gene?
To answer these questions, Redditor akd432 dug deep into the dark side of humanity and asked:
"People who know murderers, were there any signs that something was off? If so, what were they?"
It could be anyone.
It Started With The Barking Dog
"One of my former co workers decided to shoot a house all because a dog was barking in the back yard of a different house, went on a shooting spree killing the entire family except for the infant that was on the second floor."
"Only thing that was off was his drinking problem."
– Car_loapher
The Friend's Brother
"I’ve met several after the fact, but this is about one I met weeks before the murder."
"My then-husband and I were hanging out and met up with a friend of his and the friend’s girlfriend. The friend gets a call from his brother and invites him join us. The brother arrives, and pretty soon afterwards, the whole vibe changed."
"My ex knew both men since all three were kids, so he was relaxed enough to start drinking around them. I was babysitting a wine cooler because I’m the next thing to a teetotaler and was the designated driver. I kept noticing the brother staring at me, but tried to ignore it, but it quickly became very uncomfortable. I’m nothing special to look at facially, I got the mom-bod on lock, and I was with my husband."
"The brother then asks me why I’m not drinking. I explained that I’m not a real drinker and added that I like to be aware of who and what’s around me. So he asked my husband why I wasn’t drinking. I don’t remember his response, but dude looks at me and says 'we need to get you drunk.'”
"I left to go sit in the car, because wtf was that. I didn’t feel safe or protected because my ex wasn’t even paying attention. About 20 minutes later, dude walks up to my car and asks if I can take him to the corner store. I reminded him that he had a car and he replied that he couldn’t drive because he’d been drinking. I told him I wouldn’t take him, which led to us staring at each other in silence for several moments. He broke the silence by saying 'I bet you’re real loyal. A loyal girl. A good girl. I know that motherf'ker get anything he want from you.' Then he laughed and walked away."
"When I told my ex the next day, he wasn’t bothered and was making excuses for the friend’s brother’s behavior. A few weeks later, there was a report on the news about the body of a woman being found in my exe’s old neighborhood. Find out later she’s been murdered. It didn’t take long to find and arrest her killer, aka the friend’s brother."
– miKezOGnoze
Some kids show signs of being unstable but are easily dismissed as nothing serious until it was too late.
Don't F'k With Squirrels
"I’ve posted about it before but a kid down the street talked about killing squirrels for fun. He was 7ish years old."
"He moved away and we forgot about him."
"20 years later we saw him in the news for brutally killing his parents."
– SchleppyJ4
Led By Vengeance
"I knew Christopher Bennett as a child. Honestly I thought he was a bit of a jerk, then again most little boys are mean to little girls. Especially little girls who are 3 years younger than them and seem to think they can do whatever the boys are doing. Last time I saw him, we had grown up a little, I was 11, he was about 14, he wasn't as mean as I had remembered him. Did I see it coming, no, most people didn't. I mean he was getting into trouble a lot but murder, never thought he had it in him. Then again he was right to kill the bastard he did and I think a lot of other people would become murders if they saw what he did."
– CylonsInAPolicebox
Trophy Collector
"I spent a lot of time at a friend's house when I was 6-9 years old. He had a brother who was like 3 years older than us, who I remember as being generally nice, but I have one weird memory of him absolutely losing his sh*t when he tried to teach me and his brother to roller blade and I couldn't get it--like throwing things and weeping uncontrollably. When I was in high school, found out that he had joined the military, and while he was deployed he got court martialed for killing civilians and keeping body parts (fingers, ears) as trophies."
– StarFanthirteen
Family members share their horrific experiences of being related to a murderer.
The Jealous Sister
"Knew a girl as a freshman in college who was mean, obviously mentally unstable, and not too bright. When her fraternal twin sister fell in love with a good friend of mine, she became enraged with jealousy and could not let it go. Her sister begged her to get help and there was a huge blowout in a hallway on campus where my friend had to intervene to prevent his girlfriend from getting stabbed by her sister. The police were called to campus and she spent a week in jail before her sister decided to not press charges. Her remaining friends dropped out of her life because of her actions and unwillingness to get help. She got kicked out of college shortly after threatening the guidance counselor who was giving her one last chance and moved back in with her parents. When her sister went home for Christmas with my friend to introduce him to her parents, I told him to watch his back. They hadn’t even made it all the way into the house before they were attacked and repeatedly stabbed. My friend died on the porch and she died at the hospital the next day. The murderous sister was beaten to death in a jail fight a few days later.
"I met their older brother, who I didn’t even know existed, at the funeral for the good sister. He said he had gone no contact with the family years before for his own protection because his parents refused to do anything about the mental health problems that his little sister always had, even as a small child."
– howarewestillhere
The Off Uncle
"One of my uncles murdered his wife. He was out of jail by the time I was a kid. Yes, there was always something off about him. My mother told me he was always violent and had a sadistic streak - he liked to make people afraid. He mellowed out as he got older but he was always a user and always looking to take advantage where he could. I’m pretty sure he was a sociopath. My mother had a lot of siblings and he was the only one like this."
– mrsshmenkmen
You think you know someone.
No Murder Vibes
"For 4 years I worked 4 desks away from someone who was arrested and convicted of a 32 year old cold case murder. Dude was an a**hole but didn't give off murder vibes. The general reaction was 'huh, I hope his replacement is less of a d*ick."
– Hobbs172
She Suddenly Snapped
"I knew someone who killed her mother."
"No, absolutely no warning at all. No hints to look back on and say we should have seen it coming."
"She was a perfectly average suburban wife and mother who woke up one day and snapped. And ended up being featured on Snapped."
"She’s currently serving out a 40 year term."
– 5footfilly ·
People joke about individuals going postal when pushed to their limits, but that's all it takes for someone to abandon all sense of logic and go on a killing spree.
But there are also those who have mental issues and are cast off from society and can be triggered to act on any suppressed violent impulses as a possible reaction to being neglected and unloved.
Either way, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what drives anyone to murder.
And the scary thing is, you never really know who a coworker really is when they're off the clock, a neighbor who never leaves their house, or even a family member who has a history of being the polite one.