Ex-Cons With Long Sentences Reveal What The Days Leading Up To Release Were Like
It's just like The Shawshank Redemption, right?
Being shut in prison for a long time must be incredibly hard. And then as the time comes up to be let out, how would it feel? When your new reality has become being an inmate, what is the next step like?
u/usernamecensored asked:
Here were some of the answers.
Anger For Doing Their Jobs
I did 15 yrs 9 mths. Got paroled, and I didn't want anyone to know. Too many prisoners get flopped by the parole board (I did a six-month flop), and they get angry at the guys who get paroled. Guys will fight you just to try and get your parole taken, or some will see it at a chance to steal ("Hey, he's going home. He don't need that, and he sure ain't gonna fight for it."). I gave most of my stuff to lifers/long-timers who didn't have family to send them money. So, the last few days were really spent trying to take up the boredom of no way to pass the time. Didn't really work about work, already had a place to live (I'm one of the fortunate ones), just worked at keeping my head down and getting out of the gate.
Anticipation
I did 2 years, 6 months, 19 days for a violent crime I committed as a dumb 21 yr old. In the months leading up, I was basically walking on eggshells trying my best to make sure I didn't get into any fights, or any sort of trouble for that matter, that would get me put into solitary and could extend my time.
The night of I was just giving all my belongings away to friends: extra sneakers and clothes, soap and shampoo, polos for visits, cassette tapes, cooking utensils, food, books, etc. Everyone was grateful but definitely an odd experience to go through. Some of the younger dudes messed with me a little and roughed me up, more like in a friendly wrestling way and not actually fighting, but there was some added aggression in there as I could tell they were pretty jealous. I also made my last phone call from the in house phone booth to make sure my ride was going to be ready the next day.
That morning I woke up and was just like wait, this is really happening? Gave away any last minute stuff and said my goodbyes, traded a few addresses, and then was led down to the transport building for final preparations. After changing into street clothes, I sat there from 7:30-10:45, all the while with the guards telling me nobody was there to pick me up (I damn well knew my mom was there) and I had to wait until they showed up.
Finally they said my ride came, put me in the van and took me to the main admin building where I literally just walked up and through the front doors. I remember looking around like, really, I'm just allowed to walk right out?
Idk how to explain it, just a crazy thought to process after being locked up for those 2.5 years and being ordered to do everything and then suddenly, just go ahead, walk right out.
Got out, walked right up to my mom's car (she had been there waiting since 7 am, screw you COs for that last ploy), gave her one of the more emotional hugs of my life and then got in the car and she drove me out of there.
This October will be 8 years since my release. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it in some way.
Halfway
I did a year in rehab and met a guy who did 25 years in prison for murder. I asked him a lot about what it was like inside and getting out and what it was like now that he was out.
He said he felt scared when he was getting out and kind of sad, because of all the people he was leaving. He'd been in that specific prison for over 8 years and knew almost everyone and had some close friendships that he missed. He felt lonely after he left and was actually glad that his halfway house was a live-in, year long rehab, if felt familiar to him. He did have a lot of trouble getting work though.
Unclear Futures
I asked my friend this since we are sitting at a diner. He said, you get excited and depressed at the same time. Excited for the freedom, depressed because you will have a hard time getting a job. He had been sentenced for 18 serving just shy of 13. He's doing well for himself and works on hot water heaters for a living.
Long Flights
Paraphrased from an old friend of mine: Excited but also scared and anxious. Partly because he was convinced that somehow they'd reverse his parole, partly because he was terrified he wouldn't be able to readjust. Was also afraid his relationships with his kids wouldn't be able to recover. Overall until he actually got out, he was more stressed than excited. But the last few hours, when he realized he was actually getting out, he said those were the longest hours of his life. Simultaneously happy but also thinking "OK they decided I get to go, why the heck can't I leave already?!" Said it was like taking a plane to go on your dream vacation, but the flight takes forever, there's no movie and you forgot to bring a book.
Fix The System
You should read The Prison Diaries by Jeffery Archer, it' s a real eye opener. Some of the long termers get released gradually back into society, but they struggle to deal with basic things such as using a supermarket -they've had so long where every decision is made for them, making their own decisions suddenly becomes too much to deal with.
Your instincts are to lock bad people up and throw away the key but for many prisoners this is counterproductive and they spend the rest of their lives costing the taxpayer instead of contributing to society.
The prison system is broken.
Dreaming Ain't Livin', Kid
I did 5 years. By that time I made it to a minimum security prison. That means a jail with no walls and no locks. You could easily escape if you wanted but you would just be an idiot too. The days dragged on slow. I couldn't sleep for the last few weeks. I was anxious and nervous. I had plans to have all types of sex and eat all types of food but none of my plans panned out the way I imagined they would.
Staying Out
I was stoked. You know that sense of euphoria you got on Christmas morning as a kid? It's like that, but it lasts a good year after you get out too.
Then life sets in and you realize it's hard to do anything as a convict. Most people just go back to prison, I managed to land a good job in the oil field and stay free.
I had all my tattoos removed, made sure nobody I used to know knew my number or where I was, then basically just hit the restart button. Most of the people you meet in prison are toxic, gotta disassociate with them and it makes things much easier.
Independence
I did 11 months, was a year but got out a little early. A lot of guys told me there was a lot of anxiety and the weirdest thing was being able to wake up, leave their house and go to bed at whatever time. Being so dependent on the government for so long and then just being released all of a sudden to take care of your own was a lot even for a lot of adults. Most of them being introduced to probation/parole so there are added hoops to your life as far as getting a job and doing everyday things.
When I was released I had a lot of things lined up for me like going back to school and had a good place to live, so when I got out I was ready to be out. The days leading up were very long days just watching the clock knowing you're finally going to be out in the real world. I was really nervous knowing I could have not gotten out on that day, but lucky for me I was and have got back into school since.
Getting Around To More Life
My husband is in prison and thinking about his transition home is always kind of nerve wracking.
He is going to need so much. A car, a job, clothes, personal items, a phone, etc. So now that he is halfway through his sentence we have started talking about saving, and he's begun to save money from his paychecks.
We also won't be living together right away because we have never lived together outside of prison, and we have to ease into being around each other for more than 9 hours a week.
He's really looking forward to getting out but I see him interact with all of his buddies and I know leaving them will be hard for him.
He is lucky enough to have a job lined up when he gets out but u can't imagine how hard it would be for someone who doesn't. 15 years on the inside doesn't look so good on a resume.
County Without Sun
I did 14 months in a county jail. The days were long. I played a lot of cards, chess and I made everyone laugh (including the co's) Honestly, jail saved my life.
The days leading to processing out was weird to say the least. I hadn't seen the sun in soooo long. The weirdest thing was using silverware. I went to eat at a Denny's that morning and my eggs tasted like metal. I didn't know what the fuck and then it dawned on me. I've only been using plastic utensils.
A New World
You go in as a person people around you know. after doing a stretch, even if you keep in contact when you get out your whole family is strangers. There has been births, deaths, divorces, etc. You don't know these people anymore. Wondering what family life will be like was a thought on my mind.
I honestly can't remember much about the days leading up to release, I do remember the bus ride back home though. I've never felt that unreasonably happy. i was smiling like an idiot the entire ride, which was substantial. It was a surreal experience. I still feel the buzz of freedom years later after shit tons of probation and rehab. sometimes I'm in a grocery store and it feels crazy to be completely free and anonymous.
A Careless Life
I came out completely different socially. I used to love crowds, people, festivals, outside concerts, etc. I came out afraid of those things. My crime was non-sexual, non-violent. I would stay at home in complete silence for days. I had never gotten into any trouble before or since. And I've never been the same.
People don't understand prison in America. They think they do, but they don't. They really think there's all this education, good food, and heath care...But prisoners can't complain. There isn't ANY of that. Not in a real sense. Like you would recognize it. Rehabilitation? Thats a joke. No really...like it's a joke, the running joke with the people who work there. They just want you to shut up, stop bothering them, so they can finish their blah blah story. Oh, there's someone having a heart attack? We'll call the infirmary as soon as the game is over.
Paranoia
4 years. It was surreal & scary. It didn't feel real the few days before getting out, when I found out my release was coming a few months earlier than I'd originally thought. I thought it was all a mistake. I felt so used to being there I thought they'd tell me it was a mixup & I must stay.
Even the next few months at home I thought they'd arrest me & say it was a mistake & I must return to prison. I was overwhelmed & scared to go in public, out with friends, etc. I always thought something would happen to make me go back.
All the choices in stores freaked me out after having so little choice for so long. I remember standing in a lotion aisle for 30 minutes wondering if I needed lotion for dry skin, aloe, extra moisture, scented, etc. I gave my list to my uncle & asked him to get my things while I sat in the car.
The last few days in prison though were just surreal. I was excited, but cautious about getting my hopes up even though it was a sure thing. You're expected to give all your things away. I did but again was scared I'd have to stay & my stuff would be gone. I was very institutionalized.
Andy Dufresne Moments
I think The Shashank Redemption represents it very well.
After so many years in prison you become institutionalized. It's like being born again but without adults to guide you, protect you and take care of you . You're on your own, you have responsibilities and the world doesn't help you. Get busy living or get busy dying.
Former Disney Park Actors Describe The Weirdest Experiences They Ever Had While In Character
An undeniable part of the magic that guests experience at many of the Disney parks around the world is the interactions with characters.
Those who post photos of their Disney vacations will almost always include a photo with Mickey and/or Donald Duck, Goofy, Minnie, and their human friends like Snow White, Belle, Moana, or villains like Gaston.
It's not that difficult to suspend your disbelief during an encounter with a Disney character.
But spoiler alert, the beloved icons you're putting your arms around and giving hugs are with total strangers who are paid to make you feel special.
Redditors got a chance to discover what it's like for those costumed Disney cast members giving hugs and signing autographs to kids of all ages that they've never met before.
Redditor nvoltage1017 asked:
"Former actors at Disney parks, what’s the weirdest thing that happened to you while you were in character?"
Fluffy Disney characters are appealing to a niche interest in the kink community.
Sexy Furry
"I was one of the performers for Nick Wilde from Zootopia a few years ago, And if you’re not aware; a large number of people in the furry community find him highly attractive."
"You can just imagine the number of people in that community who flirted with me and/or Judy and whispered some pretty sexual things to us. I think I also had a guy grab Nick’s tie like in that flirty way, we had to get him escorted out of the park."
"The moral of the story is: don’t be inappropriate with the characters, we are real people underneath, and there are legitimate consequences for that kind of behaviour."
– ExtremePikachu75
Just Plain Goofy
"I was playing Goofy inside a restaurant and I got swarmed Aliens-style by a hoard of <10 kids. Unfortunately while I was playing around with them the inner hood below the mask slipped over my eyes and I was completely blinded. We had assistants around whom we could signal for help by flapping our arms, but the kids had made it a game of attaching themselves Tarzan-like to both my arms and to raise them I would have had to lift 3-4 kids per arm (dangerous even if I'd been strong enough to do that)."
"I found myself blind and completely rooted to the spot, unable to ask for help and with nobody realizing that I was in trouble. I spent like a solid 10-15 minutes in that sort of limbo reflecting on the life decisions that had taken me there until the assistant came over and whispered 'set is over dude' and I finally managed to signal something was wrong."
– Judge_T
Things get out of control.
Why They Do It
"I was a 'mouse height' performer at Disney World around 2013. Can unfortunately confirm groping happened from time to time and it was incredibly uncomfortable. We were trained to move away if we could and signal to the character attendants to escort the guest away if it happened. One time some guy thought it appropriate to pick me up completely off the ground in a bear hug. The head pushed back and, because the inside is connected to us with head gear and a chin strap, my neck bent back with it and it hurt like hell."
"Not a weird story, but one of my most memorable guest experiences was meeting a little blind boy as Mickey in Epcot. I gently guided his hands to the soft ears, then the nose, and bow tie and he was laughing and his smile lit up the whole room. I still get emotional thinking about it! Interactions like that made it all worth it to me at the time."
– raybirdie
Tinkerbell's Drama
"I dated a girl that played one of the fairies for the Tinkerbell place. Beyond the pretty much daily occurrence of old dads hitting on her (she was 19 at the time) the weirdest thing to happen to her was a woman with a 4yr old little girl was all excited to get a picture with Tinkerbell, who was busy, so my ex volunteered to do pictures and entertain the little girl while they waited."
"The woman was a b*tch about that idea, rudely saying she was here to see Tinkerbell and not 'off-brand' fairies. So just shrugging it off, my ex moved on. A bit later, she hears a commotion and Tinkerbell is obviously upset, and security shows up. Apparently, this woman was Tinkerbell's bio mom and had taken her granddaughter to Disney, just to violate the restraining order against her."
"Disney Jail is a real place."
– EarlSandwich0045
Trapped In Sick
"I used to work at a different amusement park that featured similar costumed characters. The worst thing I ever heard was the time one of the characters was overcome by heat in 95 degree weather, and vomited inside the suit, splattering the inside of the suit's head with their half-digested lunch."
"They had to walk a long distance back to the dressing rooms breathing the super-heated vomit air the entire way."
– SpaceLaserPilot
Things get violent
That's Just Nuts
"Never was an actor, but when I was a kid at Disney World in the 70s, I watched Chip get into a fist fight with a young 20 something guy. The guys girlfriend wanted him to do a picture with Chip & Dale, but he didn't want to. Chip grabbed him in a head lock and his girlfriend snapped the photo. When Chip let go, the guy came up swinging. Dale had to jump in and break them up, as Chip started swinging back. For a kid of 12, it was awesome!"
– EddyBuddard
Shifts To Avoid
"My ex wife was in the character department at Disney World years ago. She was always getting injured by guests. From macho men wanting to see how strong of a grip Mickey had, to grabbing hold of Donald's bill and yanking really hard. Pulling noses, beaks, ears, etc., can really hurt people."
"Another person was dressed as Daisy duck and got tackled by a guest and knocked out cold. When she recovered, she pressed charges."
"The worst nights for the characters were high school senior nights and the religious group nights. Bunch of unruly teens with little to no supervision. No one wanted to work those shifts. Ever."
– artistandattorney
Some situations were a bit on the laughable side.
Meltdown
"I was part of the Disney college program and I have my own stories but not as a character. My mom on the other hand, she was a character actor back in the day (60’s or 70’s). They were testing a new headpiece for the seven dwarf costumes in Disneyland and my mom wore one of them out on a march with Snow White. As a Dwarf, your head is inside their hat, their face on their stomach, etc. Being Anaheim, it was really hot that summer day and as they were going around following Snow White a little kid saw my mom “Doc” he ran up to give him/her a hug. As he was hugging Doc, the plastic that made up the face started melting inwards and the child started screaming 'I killed Doc! I killed Doc!' In hysterics. Character handlers rushed my mom/Doc off through one of the secret passages by Pirates and got her out of the costume before the plastic could melt onto her."
"Always thought it was a fun story and curious how much it screwed up that kid."
– The_Woman_S
The Gas Leak
"Not a cast member but either Mickey or Minnie cut a very audible fart while posing with my wife and me. It must've been awful inside that dutch oven of a costume."
– Jeffclaterbaugh
Never Assume
"I knew a friend(a guy) who wore Minnie Mouse costume. He told me almost all guys would put their hands around his waist. He wouldn’t dare to talk or else they will hear his manly voice and that might pisses them off."
"Edit: this blows up quickly. I feel I need to let people know that it’s not okay to grope the Disney characters. My friend had introduced me to the people who play them and they are just normal people. All I can tell you is that they will make a disgusting face under the mask and talk sh*t about you later after work."
– reloadfreak
Disney cast members must've been relieved to some extent when the parks reopened with pandemic measures.
Not only did the Disney park institute mask mandates, but any character also interactions–if there were any at all–were at a safe distance from guests, preventing physical contact.
With normal character interactive procedures now back in place at most Disney parks, always remember to be on your best behavior.
People Break Down Which Practices The United States Needs To Adopt From Other Countries
We can all agree that there is something to appreciate about every country in the world, but there are arguably some countries that appear to have their ducks more consistently and happily in a row than others.
While it would be easy to let pride get in the way and continue to do things the same way, the more productive thing would be to learn from the countries who have figured out a better way to do certain things, whether it's healthcare, food banks, or other services.
Reflecting on the United States, Redditor Blinds**thead asked:
"What is one thing the USA should adopt from some other country?"
Introductions to Alcohol
"Swedish drinking laws. If I remember correctly, you can purchase alcohol below 5% at age 18, and be served liquor in bars (so the bartender can control the amount being served)."
"Seems like a smarter way to introduce kids to alcohol rather than opening the floodgates at 21."
- underhandfranky
Taxes to Approve
"Automated taxes."
"I've never done them but they seem complicated and stress my parents out, so I just know I'll f**k mine up and end up in stupid jail, lol (laughing out loud)."
"Just send me something to sign, please!"
- teenage-nightmare
Societal Improvement
"A prison system that focuses on rehabilitation instead of punishment. Many countries have been successful with this saving literally billions of dollars and cutting down on crime."
- LtRecore
Universal School Lunches
"Universal school lunches. It is embarrassing that we do not have folks cooking lunches for students from scratch and that it is not provided for free to all students."
"Do you want to bring your own lunch? Great, but you can also have the free hot lunch that looks homemade, not pizza squares, canned veggies, a slice of fruit, and 3 oz of milk."
"Kids shouldn't be going into debt for lunch. We're probably wealthy enough that our food waste alone would be sufficient, if captured magically, to feed every kid in the United States three proper meals per day."
"Also walkable cities and above-ground monorail systems."
- radiantpenguin991
Relieving Homelessness
"Finland has recently ended homelessness by just allowing people to live in small apartments without any preconditions, and four out of five of them make their way back to a stable life."
"It's also cheaper than allowing people to be homeless."
- littleMAHER1
Period.
"Universal healthcare."
- fastal_12147
Foster Care Assistance
"It would be nice to also eliminate the fees foster parents pay for general registration, classes, and social services related to fostering or adoption."
"And also eliminate trying to recoup costs by billing parents whose children have been placed in foster care."
- hawtpahtadah
Longer Paid Family Leave
"I was SUPER blessed to get 12 weeks fully pay. But that’s not enough time. Putting the emotional aspect aside, I’ve returned to work functioning on four to five hours of sleep a night, and my productivity and cognitive abilities are greatly handicapped."
"My three-month-old son can’t even hold his head up or sit, let alone talk to tell me if anything’s wrong, and he’s placed in the care of someone else from 7:15 am to 5:15 pm. Doesn’t seem healthy for mother or child."
- tealpineapple456
Bathroom Upgrades
"The fact that our toilets don't have bidets and that at public restrooms the gap between the doors is massive, are both disgusting. Our whole bathroom situation is messed up."
- darksix
Having a Siesta
"According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, whether you eat lunch or not, everyone requires a rest midday."
- Justhere_2468
Tax Included in the Price
"Man, I had such a hard time with this when I visited America. Maths in my head is not my forte and I’m so used to looking at prices and expecting that to just be the price."
"I don’t get why you wouldn’t just add in the tax to the price. No one wants to do math unnecessarily. I mean, we don’t even tip in Australia so I don’t even need to work that out."
- Cookie_Wife
Raising Multilingual Children
"Teaching a foreign language to young students in public schools (ie 5yrs, k-5) when the propensity to learn the language quickly is maximum."
- zenjen22
Clean Public Restrooms
"The clean restrooms in Japan were amazing. I never had to clean a toilet seat to put my young kids on it. In the states? Near every time. People here just don’t care about the ‘we’ when it comes to restrooms."
- NoodlesAreAmazing
Separate Work and Healthcare
"Decent healthcare that isn't tied to your job. Other countries all over the world have figured out different ways to do this, so why can't we? (I know, corporations own politicians.)"
"I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing it would destabilize a bunch of industries in the near term. But I wonder if long-term, it would create so much new innovation since people would be unafraid to lose their health benefits to leave their stable but s**tty corporate jobs to start new ventures."
- michiman
Designated Drivers on the Go
"In Japan, there is a service that you can call 24 hours per day that will come with two drivers and one car. One driver drives you and your car home, and the other follows in their car to pick up the driver that took you home with your car. No DUI, etc."
"It's actually really affordable there. No need to get an uber home that night and then an uber back the next day when you are hungover only to find out you have a million parking tickets or your car got towed."
- Visual_Sport_950
Though there are positives to every country, it would be so cool to see each country be more open-minded about adopting the positives of other countries.
If a country is doing something better than another, the best thing for the citizens would be to take some notes, rather than let their pride do the talking.
Every year, at the end of the Academy Awards, while the auditorium erupts in cheers upon the announcement of the Best Picture winner, as they are somewhat obligated to do, many viewers at home instead shake their heads and raise their eyebrows.
That's if they don't throw popcorn or worse at their TVs.
While those who did so when La La Land was announced as the winner in 2017 would end up getting their revenge in what remains one of the biggest blunders of Oscar history, others are still reeling at some past winners, which they believe were more worthy of a Razzie than an Oscar.
Taste being subjective, plenty of people still find themselves confused by some films which won countless awards, received across-the-board raves, and are considered classics or masterpieces, but they find to be utterly unbearable.
Often finding themselves in an unpopular minority and having to keep their opinion to themselves, similar to Seinfeild's Elaine Benes and her unique disdain for The English Patient.
"Which film that’s universally praised do you find utterly repulsive?"
Any Downers
"My best friend really enjoys movies that make you anxious and uncomfortable like 'Uncut Gems' and 'Good Time', but I firmly do not like those kinds of movies."
"I know it's the point, but i find no joy in the level of discomfort I feel while watching them."
"Some other honorable mentions:"
"Spring Breakers."
"High Life."
"Climax."- nuut_meg
Not Exactly Authentic
"'The Greatest Showman'."
"Mostly on the grounds that the real P T Barnum was a f*cking monster."- LostMercenary99
"'Pocahontas'."
"The real John Smith was a f*cking sick bastard and the true events most definitely weren't a love story at all."- CagedKage
Who The "Devil" Was Is Debatable...
"'The Devil Wears Prada'."
"I just wanted everyone in that movie to die in a fire."- PothierM
Tearjerker, Or Sleeping Pill?
"'The Notebook'."
"I don't know if it's universally praised but I f*cking hate it."- sara_c907
One Of The All Time Creepiest Shower Scenes...
"F*cking 'Elf'."
"Every damn Christmas."
"To be fair I can’t really stand Will Ferrel in general."- cook-isation
The Title Could Refer To The People Leaving The Theater...
"'Fast and Furious', just a terribly written extremely corny show."- tds542
Fern Gully Did It Better...
"'Avatar'."
"All day long."
'Those blue miserable tw*ts."- akbarkhan666
There Was Bound To Be One...
"I don't know about utterly repulsive, but I have a hard time seeing why everyone loves 'Citizen Kane'."
"And I understand that there was movie making before 'Citizen Kane' and movie making after 'Citizen Kane' such that it informed movie makers going forward as to how it's done, let's say, but after a certain point we, the audience, don't see that anymore, and it's just another movie."
"And then I hear people say well it highlights social hierarchy under capitalism and such, but a lot of movies do that."
"And then there's the twist at the end which is not much of a twist which is the point, I suppose, but the whole thing seemed like a letdown when I finally watched it."
'As a result while a lot of people say it's their number one movie ever or at least in their top 10, it's on my top 10 list of movies not to watch again."- emjaysea
Why Not Just Do A Documentary?
"Most Biopics."
"I think it's atrocious how they create hyperreality by over romanticizing the life of a famous person."
"Out of all the awful biopics however, i despise 'Bohemian Rhapsody' the most."
"The scene where the band supposedly invents 'We Will Rock You' on the spot makes my skin crawl."
"How did that movie end up winning so many awards, despite all the plot inaccuracy's and the poor editing."
"It is really beyond me."- Biemolt
Maybe Too Realistic?
'Not utterly repulsive, but I'm in the minority for thinking that 'Nomadland''s Best Picture win was a joke."
"It was barely a movie and relied too much on performance exploitation of actual people for its thin-as-f*ck narrative."
"Honestly, it might be my least favorite BP winner of recent times, yes I'd say that even 'Crash', 'The Artist' and 'Green Book' were better."- SamwisethePoopyButt
Not To Mention That Fake Baby...
"'American Sniper'."
"Shameless piece of 'Merican' propaganda, and I couldn't help but laugh at Bradley Cooper's portrayal in the first half hour."- mos_meth
Truman Capote Would Agree...
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."- LucyVialli
He Did Not Have Them At Hello...
"'Jerry Maguire'."
"It was just TOO. DAMN. LONG."
"The 'Show me the money' bit was funny, but it happened early on in the film, and the rest dragged on forever."- Brilliant_Tourist400
We All Know "Moonlight" Was Better...
"'La La Land'."
"The music was utterly forgettable and the plot felt like it was written by a bunch of Hollywood executives jerking each other off."- Aviator506
Needless to say, everyone's taste is different, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Meaning there's bound to be an argument at the next "movie night" you have with friends over whether to watch Citizen Kane or Spice World.
And you should feel no shame in expressing which movie you want to watch.
Or rather, "what you really, REALLY, want" to watch...
Everyone wishes there was something different about their body.
Smaller nose, longer legs, a different hair or eye color.
There are those, however, whose frustrations with their body are less personal, and more universal.
Finding themselves frustrated less with their own DNA, but with human anatomy in general.
Frustrated by how certain functions work the way they do, and feeling there could be significant improvements in other departments as well.
"What is the biggest design flaw of the human body?"
Would Make A Lot Of People Less Cautious
"Unable to regenerate body parts."
"You lose an arm or a leg, you can't grow a new one."
"We can grow hair and nails forever, but not body parts."- drygnfyre
And Maybe The Whole Childbirth Process While We're At It...
"The size of the average baby head vs the size of the average vagina."- Ruggiard
"The Obstetric Dilemma."
"Basically, the human body isn't built for easy birth."- strykazoid
It Isn't Terribly Practical If You Think About It...
"IMO the whole 'we put food into the only air hole we have and can choke and die if we aren’t careful' thing is a pretty big miss."- el_rico_pavo_real
"Throat has a built in flaw - we breath n swallow food through the same area."- coolguy1793B
A More Direct Route Would Be Helpful
"I like the example of the recurrent laryngeal nerve."
"It runs from the brain to the larynx."
"However, to get there it goes from the brain, down the neck, into the chest, around the aorta and then back up the chest, up the neck and then connects to the larynx."
"That's a massive detour."
"It also means a blow to the chest can damage your ability to talk."- The_Thunder_Child
Never Underestimate The Damage Teeth Can Do
"The fact that I sometimes accidentally eat the inside of my mouth."- -Grey_Area-·
He Does Have A Point
"'Nostalgia is the greatest human weakness. Second only to the neck'... -Dwight Schrute
In Plain Sight...
"In our eyes, the blood vessels supplying our photoreceptors are in front of them and therefore in the way of the incoming light."
"Probably not the biggest and there are some good justifications for it being set up this way."
"But it still must be such a pain for the brain constantly having to edit these out when forming our visual experience."- oliwoggle
Maybe Just Every Illness And Ailment?
"A stroke."
"My aunt had one when she was 31 and the healthiest person in the world."
"Ran an aerobics class at the Y, just perfect perfect health."
"Went to Pizza Hut with her the night before, next day, massive stroke, almost died, critical surgery, twenty years later she still has trouble speaking."
"It sucks."
"There is no reason that should’ve happened."
"Perfectly healthy person damaged for the rest of her life."
"She’s still amazing and lovely and my favorite person but damn is that annoying."- Jibber_Fight
"You can kinda just die at any moment from a brain aneurysm, even if you're perfectly healthy."- mcsteve87
All Our Bones Could Be Stronger...
"For upright walking creatures, why is our head so (relatively) delicate?"
"Trip a single time and you're blinded, have brain damage, bit off your tongue, or lost teeth."- kmn493
They Arguably Also Weren't Built For Stairs...
"Our knees for sure."
"They just weren't built to last past 40 years."- TopShelfCrazy
A Couple More On/Off Switches Would Be Helpful As Well...
"That we cannot delete or sort unwanted/not needed info and memories from our brains."- PickAName616
As the saying goes, "nobody's perfect."
Or rather, "no BODY is perfect."
Otherwise, we'd all stop complaining about aching limbs or worrying about choking or other injuries.