Nobody likes every aspect of their job. Even those who wake up before their alarm, rush out of bed, jump into the shower, and sing while they make themselves breakfast, can find that one odd quirk that slows down their day, making them go, "Ugh."
Yes, that list does include the men and women of law enforcement.
Reddit user, u/potatryan, wanted to know:
It's Not Always So Black and White
Giphy
My best bud (known him 20 years) and his ENTIRE FAMILY are cops. Dad, mom, sister, and 2 brothers: ALL COPS.
Anyways, I have dinner with them from time to time and I recall one time his brother discussing having to go monitor a protest, with all the other cops in their riot gear.
I was fascinated that every person (cops) at the table had the same reaction of hating protests, for different reasons.
One person said it was boring and you have to stand all day. One person said it sucks when the people youre protecting start yelling at you, his mom (who was a dispatcher) said it diminishes response ability because all the cops were tied up at the protest and that means less patrols elsewhere. etc.
Bottomline is found out cops hate protests.
But Do You Sit There Watching Them?
Not letting pedestrians cross an empty road when there are no cars, they just have to stand there akwardly staring at each other until the right turns green, the worst way to waste of time
Everyone's Walking Around With One...
Dad's a cop, feels very uncomfortable enforcing our newer law stating that anyone can carry a concealed weapon with them
If I Don't Have To, I Won't
Cannabis/marijuana laws. Literally all my friends smoke somewhat regularly, and unlike many drugs that either pose a significant health risk or make you a belligerent a--hole, cannabis makes you calm, docile, and I can win your compliance and love with a bag of cookies.
If I'm put in a position where someone's asking me to do something about it my nose suddenly becomes stuffed and not being a botanist I can't identify that particular bit of plant matter
Burn, Baby, Burn
Burn bans. My city has a full burn ban and I find it ridiculous. The fine is insane too, like $400.
So most of the time I act like I dont see anything unless it's safety issue or just give them a heads up to finish up what they need to burn quickly and put it out so we dont keep gettung calls on it. People in my town call for petty crap alot.
Just A Big Waste Of Time
Former cop.
I worked in an area almost exclusively populated by illegal immigrants. While I did see some horrible sh-t (nature of the job) the vast majority of those folks were decent people just living and working and trying to raise their kids.
Department policy at the time made arrest mandatory for driving with no license (otherwise a ticketable misdemeanor).
One dumb-ss lieutenant decided it would be a good idea to put up a safety checkpoint (roadblock) on the only major road through the neighborhood. Like 95% of the vehicles on that road were driven by immigrants who can't get a license no matter how much they want to. There were two paddy wagons driving back and forth to the jail constantly with all these people. The wrecker service didn't have enough trucks to clear the roadway of cars left there with no one to drive them.
I thought this was bullsh-t and served only to make life more difficult for people that imo hadn't done anything wrong.
We Protect Our Own?
Not making a report on another officer who is committing crimes, seems to be standard operating procedure in every police dept I have ever heard of.
Buckle Up
LEO here
My state has a seatbelt law. I mean, I get it...it's the law. But you not wearing it effects me ( or others ) in absolutely no way whatsoever. It's a victim-less crime. I feel if you're an adult, 18 or older, you can make adult decisions. We all know the dangers of not wearing a seatbelt, if you don't want to wear one than don't wear one. Won't change my day a bit.
On a side note. Wear the seatbelt people. That's just common sense.
Just Give Them A Chance
The city that I was formerly a LEO in had an ordinance that you couldn't buy alcohol after 8pm on Saturday and before 4pm Sunday. Mom and pop liquor stores would clearly want the best bang for their buck, and people aren't going to stop drinking at 8pm. I wouldn't enforce it but I also wouldn't give them until midnight to close. If you're having fun and supporting your family or someone else's family, so be it.
They Were Only In There For A Minute!
Not too long ago I rolled into a parking lot and was sitting behind an empty vehicle parked in the fire lane. Got out and was about to write a ticket for it when the owner walked out in his pizza delivery uniform with his hot bag. Told me he just ran inside to make his delivery. As a former pizza delivery driver I decided to leave it at that and let him on his way. Someone saw that I let him go and called the department to Lodge a complaint. I didn't get yelled at but I was told to be more careful when making decisions like that.
On Wednesdays, We Fight Back
Cops in my town carry nickels and feed the meters instead of taking the time to write tickets.
LET THEM DRINK....responsibly...
Open liquor laws.
You wanna have a beer while you float down the river? Have at 'er.
Gonna throw that beer bottle over the side into the stream? Damn right I'm gonna write you up for littering. And then the open liquor ticket as a F-CK YOU for being a selfish a--.
Edit: As was pointed out I should clarify. Floating down stream ON AN INFLATABLE TUBE. Not drinking while operating a boat, that still gets you charges.
The Times Are A' Changin'
A buddy of mine used to be a cop and said he never got anyone for weed because 'it's too much hassle and it'll be legal soon anyway.'
They Might Need A Different Kind Of Help
I haven't been a cop for awhile, but I had a (very brief) stint as a Deputy Sheriff a handful of years ago. I struggled a lot with situations in which addicts were criminalized.
There was one man who I remember who had been out on parol but got caught with drugs in his system. Because of the failed drug test he was getting sent back to jail (and unfortunately, I was the one who had to take him there). It crushed me. It was an older dude who clearly didn't mean to cause trouble and clearly didn't want to be in this situation. He needed treatment, not jail time.
We also had a lot of people come through who were using synthetic drugs (like bath salts when nobody knew what they were and Bath & Bodyworks took their bath salts off the shelves). It was frightening to see some of our "frequent flyers" come back to us more and more incoherent because of these drugs and the permanent damage they were causing. But the truly heartbreaking moment was when I was transporting a young black man who was in for marijuana possession and he said, "The next time I'm just using that synthetic sh-t, your tests can't see that in my system." I went full on mama bear and told him - basically begged him - not to mess with that stuff and relayed some of the things that I had seen. I have no way of knowing if he ever listened to me, but I really, really hope he did.
Ultimately, my experience in this job changed my intended career path. I had been planning on staying in law enforcement for a chunk of time and then going to law school. I even had judges ready to write recommendation letters and a solid LSAT practice test score. But to see so many stupid and morally debase laws being upheld simply because that was the precedent didn't sit well with me. So I left that job and became a documentary filmmaker instead. Much less lucrative, but a more immediate way to work for justice.
You Ask Yourself: Does It Really Need To Be This Way?
A friend of mine is a cop in Rhode Island, this is what he said: Sadly DUI's, because in Rhode Island its a huge process and time consuming hassle.
Sometimes you just want to go home. I would ask them to call a friend or family member to pick them up. One time a dude argued with me and I kept trying to convince him to get a ride. He's like I'm fine to drive. He got back in his car so I had to bust him for a DUI after trying to give him so many chances.
People Can Sidestep Easy Enough
Riding bikes on pavements. If there's pedestrians on it then yes, use the road, but if its completely empty, why not use it? Its a lot safer than riding on the road.
Turn It Back Around
Before I was a police officer, I was put in a sort of "catch all"position (police service officer). Duties included evidence custodian, animal control, court bailiff, code enforcement, and part-time police work. This was 2012-2013, Kansas had a rather wet season. For about a month and a half straight we had rain almost everyday. No one had a chance to mow their grass. City manager saw it as a grand opportunity for me to start writing people tickets for their grass being too high. I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing that. When asked why, I told him I didn't think it was right for me to write people tickets for tall grass when there are city owned properties all over the city that had grass just as tall. We went back and forth, he got my Captain involved and threw a fit. Before he stomped out of Captains office he made the comment "this is my city, you work for me and what I say is law". Captain agreed he was an a--hole but ultimately said I should just write the tickets.
So I went back to the evidence locker, what everyone called my office because I was the only one who had access, and did some research. An hour later, I walked over to the city managers office (which happened to be right across the street) and handed the city manager about 14 tickets. He asked what those were, I told him I was doing exactly what he told me to do, I was writing tickets for grass being too tall. The first 14 tickets were for the 14 city owned properties that had grass over 12-inches high. He said those weren't his responsibility. I calmly reminded him of his previous comment about him "owning" the city, and he called the chief. He insisted I be fired for insubordination. A month later, I was promoted to full time patrol officer.
It's Not A Lot. Just All The Little.
Giphy
Most town/city ordinances. Things like not being able to park on the street in front of your house between certain hours of the night.
F-----ck that. You want me to ticket some dad's car because he moved it out of the driveway so his five year old son could bike around the driveway? Yeah, sh-ts not happening.
Also, certain traffic violations in the middle of the night. You forgot to signal your merge when you're the only vehicle on a two lane road at 3 am? God help us all.
Recently expired DLs and plates. A neighboring city wrote a car who's plates expired 11 minutes prior. <que bewildered Jacksonville Jaguars fan gif>. He said the person should have known it was about to expire and taken care of it ahead of time. Oh f-ck right off. We have all had life interfer with things.
Theres a huge difference between letter of the law and spirit of the law.
I would say I'm probably just a terrible cop, but my coffee mug says I'm the world's best policeman, so it's definitely not that.
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
Few who struck gold, at least temporarily, shared their experiences when Redditor NikTheNerdBoy asked:
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
Running Errands
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
– dragoblaster666
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
European Vacation
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
– _Justag1rl_
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
– TheRainyDaze
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
– Lycid
Hush Money
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
– murter95
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
– Hotel29
Movie Scene Dance GIF by FandorGiphyGotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
– luther_williams
Substitute Chef
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
– Train3rRed88
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!
Mom Smile GIFGiphy"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
"I don't even really like them in chili. I'd rather have pintos in everything."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzle
bacon GIFGiphy"I do not like bacon."
"I've been learning this over the years. If I'm gonna do bacon I much prefer the maple bacon since it's sweeter and doesn't overpower with saltiness."
- truije15
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
"Pisses me off when people act like they're better then McDonald's. What the hell? McDonald's is incredible and billions of people buy their food still. The same can't be said for other restaurants."
Blasphemy!
golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy"Cheesecake is disgusting."
"I don't find cheese cake disgusting. It looks good. Smell delicious. Has ingredients in it that I love. But i can not eat more than one bite. It is too rich. One bite and i feel sick."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
bad bones
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slime
man oyster GIFGiphy"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
- C_23_s
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.