Physicians Share Their Best "Is Anyone Here A Doctor?" Stories
Doctors - they're always on call even when they're not on duty. And thank goodness for that, because they're often needed at the most random times, like when someone goes into labor on an airplane or gets heat exhaustion in church. They're unsung heroes outside of the office; nurses and EMTs are too.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Hey kids, who wants to cut open dead people?
Last week. Camping with my son. Cub scouts. Miles from anywhere. Scout leader asks..."we need help. Is there anyone here that could be considered a first responder? That has medical training?"
Figured this was an alternative way of saying 'is there a doctor in the house.' Panicked. Because I'm a doc. But.... a pathologist. I do autopsies, look at biopsies. I'm, if you will, a last responder. I put up my hand because I still know more than a layman.
"Oh great, we need someone to talk to the Cubs about a job in the medical field as part of their medical badge. You in?"
So goddamned relieved...
Assistance, Mrs. Doubtfire style.
On a late night flight, around 4am or so. Lights out, dead silent. Out of nowhere a lady starts yelling "he's not breathing! he's not breathing!"
The guy on my window seat comes out of a dead sleep, leaps up and climbs over me before I even knew what was going on and ran back to the man.
A few minutes later I could feel the plane accelerate a little and the captain came on and said that LAX had cleared a path for us to land directly without delay. They guy was ok apparently because he was on my connecting flight to Denver.
TIL to use lukewarm water, not cold water, to alleviate heat stroke.
as out pheasant hunting with some people. Never hunted with them before. A couple of fields in everyone just kind of stops and looks down the line and there were a couple people yelling about a dog. Jogged over there and the owner of the dog was just kind of in shock saying, "Did he really just die?! How am I going to explain this to my daughter???"
I look over his feet and his yellow lab (who was a very good boy) is lying on his side stiff as a board. The owner thought that he was dead and that was the end of it. I realized that the dog was having a severe heat stroke and seizing. (Keep in mind it is somewhere around freezing out in that field and the dogs had been getting water.) I was then told that he had been stumbling around and started shaking before going stiff.
I had never seen a heatstroke this bad in a human and I definitely couldn't just pass the good boy off to higher care. Nearest vet was something like forty minutes away and the owner was not really the "vet" type.
Started treatment. That basically consisted of trying to cool the pupper down using water that was not too cool (if you cool them down too fast they can go into shock) and wrapping him in blankets soaked in this luke warm/luke cold water. It was kind of weird trying to get water through his waterproof coat while not letting the climate cool the water too much, but it worked.
All in all this poor pupper suffered about fifteen seizures in the span of about fifteen minutes. Once I got him stabilized, he started drinking water on his own and ended up recovering as much as you can after an episode like that.
PSA: Your dogs love you and will literally kill themselves if they think that would make you happy. Keep them hydrated and give them breaks! (Watch the movie Megan Leavey!) If your dog does stroke out, cool them down in a controlled manner and get them to a vet. It also wouldn't hurt to learn Canine CPR.
Another day, another "holistic medicine" disaster.
I was on a flight with my grandparents when the flight attendant got on the speakers and asked for any medical professionals to go to the back of the plane. Grandad was a surgeon, so that included him.
There was a lady who was very pale and had passed out on the flight. Turns out that she had a phobia of flying, and took some anti-anxiety medication before the flight. She also took a "calming blend" of tea from some holistic shop, and that had a bad reaction with the meds she took and made her blood pressure plummet, causing her to pass out. They got her stabilized (read: lots and lots of water) and she went to the hospital after the flight.
Don't mix meds and "holistic remedies", guys.
Two for the price of one.
Was at my stepsons baseball game (13 yr old kids). Infielder takes a line drive to the face, and drops to the ground. Our coach yells "Mike! Come quick". Other team's coach yells "Mike, we need you!". Two dads sprint onto the field, one from each dugout entrance. Both arrive to the player at the same tome and look up at each other and realize they both know each other. Both are orthopedic surgeons named Mike.
When you call for a doctor and the whole team comes running. Score!
My toddler had a seizure in an airport and stopped breathing, and I screamed for a doctor. I was answered first by a military EMT, then a doctor, several nurses, and finally a pediatrician. They got her breathing again and saved her life before the paramedics got there. The first doctor wouldn't let anyone near her unless they told him their medical credentials. The pediatrician was wearing the (emptied out, handed off to her husband) carrier for her own baby the entire time. They were all so kind and reassuring to me at my most terrifying moment.
Noted for when I have a seizure in a restaurant.
I was having dinner at a fancy restaurant when a guest at the next table had a seizure and collapsed to the floor. As it happens, I was having dinner with two orthopaedic surgeons, who both got up to help. They were soon relieved by a neurologist and an emergency medicine specialist who took care of the poor guy. He seemed to recover quickly and was probably fine.
LPT: if you're going to have a seizure in a restaurant, try to do it close to a national medical association conference.
This is why doctors and nurses can't treat family or friends - it's too emotional.
My mom was having lunch with her friend when she dropped and had a grand mal seizure. My mom is a nurse, has been a nurse for like 35 years, and is probably a great nurse, and she just screamed for help while it happened. Luckily her friend was fine but my mom, I've learned, is useless in emergency situations that don't involve strangers.
"But I'm on break" isn't something you'll hear from EMTs.
I walked out of my security office and at the top of the parking entrance I saw a 60ish lady on her back while a couple of people stood around looking panicked. I ran up: daughter: "My mom's having a heart attack!" I put the lady in the recovery position and she promptly puked on my shoes. "Ma'am, I'll be back in a second, okay?" I ran down to our Starbucks, where two EMS crews were taking a break, and walked in and quietly said, guys, I've got a lady outside I think is having a heart attack. They looked at me, at each other, and slowly got up, and we went outside; when they saw the lady, they went into over drive, getting equipment from the rescue ambulances and doing their magic. Guys, thanks. Sorry about the coffee break.
'Pardon me, I'm having a heart attack, brb.'
My FIL ( who is a doctor) had a heart attack while eating dinner with a friend who is also a doctor. They both recognized what was happening and rushed him to the car rather than wait on the ambulance. He drove him at high speed to the very close hospital where my FIL flatlined right after arriving. They got him back but if he had waited at the restaurant he would have most likely died due to the amount of time it would have took for the ambulance to get there.
Luck of the draw on this witness.
Witnessed a man hit by a motorcycle. A woman comes rushing out of traffic who was a nurse on her way home from the trauma ER close by. She asked me a complete stranger to go get her car and purse so she wasn't carjacked because she left if running in the middle of the road.
All that was missing was a cape.
I once saw a car accident happen and a woman in scrubs on a scooter pulled a u-turn, dumped the scooter in the ditch, pulled gloves out of her pocket and ran to the cars, all in one smooth motion. I swear to god I could see the cape flapping behind her and hear the swell of epic music.
The show must go on.
I was once one of those patients when this situation happened. Its kind of a dumb situation, but also pretty funny.
I once played Blanche in my university production of Streetcar Named Desire. I had had this pain throughout the day of a performance, but decided not to go to a doctor. Well about 30 minutes before the production I went to the bathroom and... peed blood. It was like it hit me at once, and I was so uncomfortable and had to pee every few minutes. I remember the weird sensation feeling so awful and constantly needing to pee. I told my director. Our entire production was student run, so we didn't exactly have an adult say, "hey! you should go to the doctor."
Instead, One of the other drama kids go on the mic and ask the audience if we had a doctor in the audience. When no one responded, one of our lighting techs came up to the booth and told us he was an EMT.
He took my blood pressure which was fine but he said we should call it off and send me to the doctor.
I was not about to have the entire show stopped for me. I told him I was feeling better and that maybe I just started my period and I didn't realize. I told them all it was just jitters.
We did the show and it turned out to be a pretty gnarly kidney infection.
Edit: I would also like to add, It was some of my best work too. Real easy to act like you are getting dragged off stage, and slowly going mad when it feels like there is a knife in you and you may pee your dress.
Not a doctor, but I broke my right radius playing soccer when I was 12. When I was down, a man who I'd never seen before had followed my mom after she came over. Turns out the dude was a doctor and his kid was on the opposing team. I didn't learn this til after the fact cause I was in hella pain, but the dude identified himself as a doctor to my mom and informed her that I had broken a bone and he told her it needed to be set. Fate be damned, this man set my arm on the side of the pitch in between a notebook splint tied together with socks. This happened out of town so I get to the ER the next day and after the xrays came back, they informed my mom that my arm had been set perfectly and if we hadn't told them my arm was broken they would've had a hard time knowing at all
Tldr-random man sets my broken wrist perfectly on the side of a soccer pitch.
Where were you born? 35,000 feet.
My aunt was in that situation. Someone on her long-distance flight was about to give birth, and she got to move up to first class to deliver the baby.
Gotta look tight for your wedding, no matter the cost.
Very first time, it was at my cousin's wedding.. the patient was his bride. So that was an interesting way to meet the new member of the family! Turns out she was just dehydrated/hypoglycemic from not eating all day.
Doc pulls double duty on flight and at restaurant.
Airplane to Vegas.
Woman had a blood sugar issue according to the flight attendant afterward. I just told her I was very happy to see their professionalism at work in a crisis.
The doc and crew got the woman stable and we were given priority to Vegas, the pilot basically floored it.
Which got us into Las Vegas way early, early enough to get into Hash House a Go-Go with a reservation.
A bit after we ordered 2 ladies are standing there screaming. Great, happy mothers day....
Except they were shaking a small kid upside down. I got up and moved closer
Little girl was turning colors she shouldn't and not doing well, so I reached in and took her away, felt for sternum and pulled, no luck, so I lifted HARD and she was soon screaming for Momma.
So, the need for a doctor on a flight saved a little girl several hours later.
Mothers Day 2012.
And, free breakfast.
Little girl last seen eating a giant strawberry when I stopped by to thank her parents for paying our bill. She was NOT a fan of mine and I am OK with that.
This isn't the same thing, but several years ago I was at a Med school graduation and the woman announcing the names fainted. When it was clear she was fine, one of the other faculty members asked on the microphone, "Is there a doctor in the house?" and got some big laughs.
There's nothing Costco doesn't offer.
One time I was at Costco with my aunt, who is an RN, and she helped deliver a baby in the bathroom. It was wild.
Seriously, why are paper fans still necessary in church?
My Father in Law is a doctor. On two occasions in church I have seen him help a little old lady who collapsed from heat stroke. He says it's happened five times.
All were fine, the pastor literally didn't even stop his homily as the woman was carried out to the hallway for my FIL to look at her.
My take away is that the church needs to install an AC.
We've all said something stupid, let's not lie to ourselves.
It's okay to say something stupid. It showcases the real person on the inside, that we're all flawed, imperfect, and made of cooky combinations of words that don't necessarily line up to make sense. Sometimes we're nervous in a situation, other times we're just hitting 'Quick Reply' in our brains and what comes out doens't work, but whatever the reason, you for sure are going to remember it, late at night, for the rest of your life.
What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?
You may not have to change your home address because of these moments, but you should probably reconsider how many public outings you go to afterwards.
Should Probably Never Shop At That Store Again
"When the cashier said "Have a nice day", and I replied with "No, thanks".
"Background: I wasnt thinking straight that day, and thought they said "Do you want a bag"
That's. How. Twins. Work?
"Her: the twins are 3 years old"
"Me: Both of them?"
"Oh no this unearthed a memory i had buried from kindergarten lmao"
"We had a set of twins in our classroom and once on their birthday party I said "your brother got such a cool party, i hope yours is nice like this too" to one of them and he was like "yeah, this one"
"4 year old me was not a very bright kid"
That's. How. Death. Works...
"Watching the documentary 'The Last Dance' when a Kobe interview pops up -"
"Me: "Wow, they must have filmed this before Kobe died."
"My wife: "Yeah, obviously…."
The cringe comes out of nowhere, and you're not even sure how you were able to ask something so incredibly stupid, but here you are. Lounging in the stupid air.
You Should Have Asked What "Nothing" Tastes Like Next
"In my head I was wondering what one pound of water would look like in terms of volume. What I said out loud however was "How much does a pound of water weigh?"
Keep Up With Me
"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check."
"In my car."
"Which I had driven to work."
Black Is White, White Is Black
"I don't understand why people place bets on who wins, why not just place bets on who loses?"
"Yeah took me a minute to register what I said..."
And then there's these stories, where the person is probably better off cutting off any human contact henceforth going forward. These are rough to get through, folks.
Should Probably Have A Chat With HR After This
"I was about 4 months into my current job, feeling confident being fresh off the contract-to-hire period, now moved into a coveted full time role. While walking back to my office from the morning kanban I was stopped by my boss, head peeking out of the office:"
"Boss: "Hey TheMediator, do you have a sec?"
"Me: "For you, I've got lots of secs!"
"Boss: wide-eyes, mouth dropped"
"If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase "lots of secs" out loud. Preferably, not to your boss though."
You Don't Need College Anymore. Go Home. Bury Your Head In The Sand.
"In my freshman year of college I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester one girl walked from the coed showers to her dorm room in her towel still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says…"
"I know I look stunning…(sarcastically)"
"To which I replied, "don't flatter yourself."
"I had to slid a note under her door explaining I was tongue tied as she was beautiful and I meant to say "don't be hard on yourself, you look great." (Or something to that nature). We became good friends."
It's In The Descriptor?
"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."
"It's been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."
Oh Good Lord...
"Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his moms funeral."
"Jesus Christ this is the worst one on this thread. What was his response?"
"He looked at me and then the casket and kind of smirked. I awkwardly started to try and explain and just said "I'm an idiot. You know I love you. Talk to you in a bit." He makes fun of me now and I can't stop laughing. It's a positive painful memory."
Own up to your mistakes. You'll garner more respect by acknowledging the awkward things you say, however, it's perfectly fine to laugh about it in the moment. That's probably the easiest way to escape the deep, deep shame.
The advice "fake it til you make it," though often said with at least a hint of sarcasm, does carry quite a bit of wisdom.
By simply putting one foot in front of the other, weathering the chaos of not knowing what's happening as you learn as fast as possible, we can find ourselves further than we expected.
Once we're there, reaping the fruits of all our "faking," we somehow begin to take on a new identity in people's eyes They assume we've always been in control and known what was going on. They defer to us for advice.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. So we keep on faking it.
Redditor espectro11 asked:
"What's your 'I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far' moment?"
Many Redditors discussed their experiences navigating the intimidating environment of job applications, interviews, and offers.
Oh Right, Getting Paid
"I gave my resume to fancy private school (I'm a teacher, but new to the field) and I didn't expect a call back. But they called me today to ask my expected salary and I said 'I don't know what the average is. Let me Google it.' "
"Ya girl was not prepared."
"When I went for a walk-in interview looking like crap and they hired me on the spot. I get they were hiring for a new store, but they up and said 'if you want the job it's yours, when can you start?' "
"Deada** didn't think I'd make it that far."
Outside the Box
"Years ago I was applying to a bunch of copywriting jobs and feeling frustrated because I wasnt hearing back from any of the places I was applying to."
"It was especially frustrating because I was putting in all this time on cover letters and I felt like nobody was even reading them, so I said, 'Fu** it, I'm gonna write one that is more me.' I thought it was a dumb idea and never imagined that it would work, but somehow it did."
"I applied with this cover letter and the subject line "Copywriter: Will Work for Beer" to a job that I was very underqualified for. It managed to catch the eye of the headhunter for the ad agency and was enough to get me an interview. Shortly after that I was hired and ended up working there for a few years, but I remember thinking on my first day, 'I can't believe that actually worked.' "
Just Not the Right Fit
"An interview at Google. The 20 years younger than me was describing the peer review system."
"I responded with 'Jesus, that sounds awful.' "
"I did not get the job."
Others also shared experiences that centered on their working lives. But these stories weren't about being hired or interviewed.
These were accounts of long-developing success stories that they never would have predicted.
A Winding Road
"My entire legal career"
"I have four degrees and a 10 year career in commerical litigation. I just wrapped up a $200mil trusts lawsuit."
"I started at uni doing theatre and stand up comedy. I have no fu**ing idea where I turned to get here."
"Started at a very small company doing sales straight out of college. I went about messaging big corporate players (who obviously would never do business with us since our size) and was laughed at by my new colleagues for even trying."
"2 weeks later My boss was asking me what we (a team of 6) should say on the conference call with Toshiba Buyers."
Putting Fires Out
"Me at work. I feel like every issue that comes up has me unprepared. But I am always praised for my good work."
"So, I assume I have imposter syndrome and keep doing what I am doing."
So next time you find yourself ruling a possibility out completely, maybe take just a few seconds to imagine it actually occurred and prepare.
You just never know.
I'm going to be perfectly honest––I'm a city boy. I'm not a huge fan of hiking or camping. I happen to be a huge fan of running water. Have you heard of it? It's great. Highly recommended.
I've also, on a more humorous note, watched far too many horror films over the years and don't particularly like idea of running off into the woods only to piss off some demon that was perfectly fine until I arrived. I also have immense respect for our friendly neighborhood serial killers and demonstrate this regularly by staying out of their territory.
Those who love the great outdoors had plenty to share after Redditor Your_Normal_Loser asked the online community, "
Hikers of Reddit, what is the weirdest or creepiest thing you've come across while hiking?"
"The only reason..."
"When we were exploring the Australian Outback as university students, my friend and I found an old, tightly wrapped plastic bag with five or six damaged wallets along shrubbery at the base of a cliff.
The only reason we opened it up was because we were so remote - hundreds of kilometres from any town or tourist attraction - that it was strange to see garbage out there. All the cards were in female names and birthdates placed them in their late teens to early 20s. Some lived in the Northern Territory but one was in Sydney and another from Queensland. At the time we figured rock climbers must have stored their valuables in the bag and then lost track of it. I'll never forget the strange look the police officer gave us when we handed them in."
You see... this is why I wouldn't go mess around in the Australian Outback.
I also may or may not have watched Wolf Creek one too many times.
"A recliner on a small hill with a hole dug out in the middle and water bottles all over the place."
"A trashed campsite..."
"A trashed campsite complete with the tent cut open...
...do you report these things, or what?"
Or maybe not... you might want to turn back.
"The walls were completely plastered..."
"I was walking in a thick forest and came across an opening. In the center there was a shack made of lumber, with a bench built into it that was slightly leaned back.
The walls were completely plastered in porn."
Well... that's one way to get off.
"The man stopped talking..."
"I was backpacking with a few friends. A few days in the middle of nowhere, a man approached our camp as we were cooking dinner to say hi. We talked about our routes for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, he told us that he had had a vasectomy in his 30s after his 2nd child. Then somehow his wife had gotten pregnant with his 3rd child. He didn't believe this was possible, so he demanded a DNA test to see if he was actually the father. He was. Still, he explained that he had his doubts and thought that his wife must have fixed the DNA test.
My friends and I were in our 20s and had no idea why this guy was telling us this. We all just nodded and smiled.
The man stopped talking and then just walked away into the night."
"I stepped in..."
"I stepped in and fell over a cow carcass on a night hike. It was a bright moonlit night but I didn't see it in the shadows. Thankfully it was mostly dry."
"We still have no idea..."
"I was in the woods with three friends at night. A friend's house was nearby and I was getting hungry so I went inside to find some food. Another friend came inside with me. Two friends were still outside.
Later on, one of the two who outside came in and sees the indoor friend on the couch next to me. They panic and immediately run back outside.
I poke my head out the door asking what's going on, only to hear them yell as loudly as they can, "THAT'S NOT KEVIN"
Everyone comes inside and calms down a bit, and the story comes out. They thought the friend who was indoors with me (Kevin) had been outside with them this entire time. Why? Because in the darkness of the woods they saw a silhouette about the same height walking alongside them silently, then at some point it ran away and they were chasing it thinking Kevin was running off for some reason. The reason my friend yelled, "That's not Kevin" was to stop the last outdoor friend from chasing whoever was out there deeper into the woods.
We still have no idea who that was or why they didn't even speak."
This story sent a chill running down my spine.
Who was that?!
Perhaps figuring it out would be even scarier.
"Went hiking with my dad..."
"Went hiking with my dad one day over a ridge. A girl from the group in front of us tripped and slid down one side and was just able to hold on to the tiniest branch from the only tree around. Had she slid down all the way she certainly would be dead or massively injured!"
"I was trying to make my way across..."
"I was hiking in Washington sometime in December. I was trying to make my way across a river but the bridge was out. I was walking along the shore looking for a shallow spot but couldn't find one. I saw some footprints leading down the bank, my thought was that someone was trying to do what I was doing and decided to track the prints to see if they crossed. It was not easy but I followed the prints for about a mile. As I approached what looked like a crossing I heard a loud BANG like a stick hitting a tree. I froze for a few seconds and heard no other noises. I just slowly back up keeping my eyes on the other side of the river. Could not shake the feeling that I was being watched. Got the hell out of there quick as I could."
There are few feelings creepier than the feeling of being watched. It makes you feel like you've been violated in some way.
Thankfully you got out of there!
"I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment..."
"I was hiking with some friends, and I saw a cluster of butterflies on the ground. I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment until I realized they were congregating on a pool of blood. It turns out that someone had been hiking on the bluffs above earlier that day, and had fallen off and died."
Sooo... still want to go hiking or camping? None of this changed your mind? None of it?
It was nice knowing you. I'll stick with my running water.
Have some creepy stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Have some experiences of your own? Have you also survived the hospitality industry? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments below!
Time is of the essence. And time is not definable. Those are lessons we learn as we get older; as times passes and fluctuates in front of us.
Time is always fleeting yet always catches up to us. I find myself shocked when I wake up on certain days and realize I'm a particular age of my parent that sticks out for me.
Like, how did that happen? I guess I should just be thankful I'm still here to witness it all.
Redditor u/TW1103 wanted to discuss the meaning... of time and all of its affects by asking:
What fact really puts the scale of time into an insane perspective?
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy
"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV TimeSeason 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Storywilliam shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy
"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.