Oh the fur babies. They are our best buds. They are always there when we need them. They are the pieces that complete the home puzzle. But sometimes no matter how much training you put them through or no matter the gaggles of treats and toys you give them, there always seems to be that one or two behaviors they refuse to cease. There is always going to be some rule they insist on bending just cause. Just like any strong willed teenager, they will find a way to drive you crazy at least once and awhile.
Redditor u/dlordjr wanted animal families out there to discuss some behavior issues by asking.... What 'rule' has your pet instituted in your house that you now follow?What 'rule' has your pet instituted in your house that you now follow?
Polly wants an answer. NOW!
If my parrot asks "what are you doing?" Anyone in the immediate vicinity must respond with what they're doing. He will throw a tantrum he doesn't get an answer. _texas_redd_
It's just a sneeze....
If I sneeze my cat will meow softly and walk over to me and pat me on my face until I pick him up and tell him don't worry it was only a sneeze. VelocityRAPTOR33
I've told this story before. I sneezed and noticed my cat made a weird meow sound and turned her head sideways and looked at me. A week or so later, it happened again. I thought it was pretty weird but ignored it. Then a couple of weeks later she was hacking up a hairball. I instinctively said, "Are you okay? Are you okay?" I then realized that her meow when I sneezed was in the same tone as my question had been. She was repeating the worried query. She was about 15 years old by this time and I'd had her since a kitten, so we'd had plenty of time to learn each other habits. TotalBS_1973
I hear you whispering!!
No whispering... ever. My pyr/berner mix will make a growling "woooo" sound from the other room if you whisper to someone else, or to yourself. If you continue to whisper..he will come out to admonish you in person. No secrets in my house. Xerowz
Look at ME!
When she [my 14yr old grandma kitty] is constipated, she needs me to watch her poop. She'll do these real deep meows and won't stop til I follow her to the litter box where she sits in the middle and tries to poop. We keep eye contact the entire time. If I look away, she stops trying to poop and does the deep meows again. Her normal meows are very high pitched, so it's easy to tell when she's constipated. FloatfulClouds
Are you comfy?
When I was a kid, my dog slept in the middle of my bed and I slept on the trundle. For four years. EfficientAirport
Rise and Shine!
One of our cats likes to be the one to wake my stepdaughter up for school every morning. We have a routine, I get up and go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and hair and then go let Kiki into my SD room. She runs to her bed and lays down on top of her, nuzzles around for her face and nibbles on her eyebrows to wake her up. We have to do this every morning.
Let me check my calendar....
My brother and mother wanted a dog. My father did not. So we got a dog. A wonderful rescue pup that is parts red heeler, kelpie and dingo.
Naturally there is no truer love than that of a grumpy man and the dog he said he didn't want. So everyday, at exactly 4pm, my dog lets my dad know that it's time for walkies. So off they trundle to the local dog park, where my dog has her little doggie play dates.
I have to wait to be picked up after my dog has her walk and play date with her other dog friends. My dog has a better social life than I do. PanzerBiscuit
It's Quiet Time!
My BF and I have to pretty much shut up after 9pm or else my dog (who is trying to sleep) will groan really loud. We could be mid conversation or laughing and she will do it really loud. ohjeegolly
It's funny how seriously they take bedtime - my housemate's dog used to take himself to bed at 9pm sharp and deeply resented being carried back out to spend time with the family. aroyb
The Petting Space....
My cat has a Petting Space that is strangely close to her food. Oftentimes, if you try to pet her, she'll lead you to the Petting Space where she'll roll around, act all cute, ask to be combed, until she decides she's done. She'll then promptly go to her bowl and have a snack.
She'll also go over to the Petting Space on her own accord and meow quite loudly. That's her demanding to be petted so she can eat. tuba4lunch
You may lay now....
My beagle must go to bed by 1030 and will stand at the stairs trying to tell us she's tired. If we don't listen, she goes to a room and lays on a bed and goes to sleep.
Also, my beagle understands about 80% of what I say. When it's time to go to bed, she waits until after I lay down, she stays off the bed and won't get on until she has permission. I literally have to say "you can lay down now." I didn't teach her this stuff. She just does it naturally. wyatteffnearp
Going in Phases....
My girlfriends dog has to be let out in the morning to go, and then again 45 minutes later to take a poop. She is incapable of doing them at the same time. AdeptAlfalfa
The Squawkers!
I must not put the light on in the middle of the night if I get up to use the toilet, the seagull sleeps in a basket, and gets annoyed if the light wakes him up, and he'll then squawk loudly until the light goes off thus risking waking the neighbors.
The upside of this is that unlike the wild seagulls who get up squawking as soon as the sun rises in the early morning, my seagull has also implemented his own rule that he does not get out of his basket or make a noise until i get up after the sun rises, which means that even if i stay in bed till noon, there is not a peep out of the seagull until then. BECKYISHERE
All Hail the Doxie!
My dogs let me know when they want something. The dachshund started doing it and the others learned from him. When they're hungry or want to go outside for a wee, they'll come to my room and a) stare intensely (beagle), b) paw at my legs (mutt) or c) all of the above and also whine threateningly (doxie). The other two will give up if I ignore them, but the doxie will escalate until I do his bidding because that is how the dachshund do. burymeinpink
Mash Him!
Our idiot cat, Potato, is a spoiled princess who won't eat her food unless someone picks her up and gently sets her in front of her bowl. My boyfriend encourages and enables this behavior to the point where now if you put food in her dish she won't even look at it unless she's carried over. whiskey_riverss
The Laws of Feline Love....
My mother's cat was having some health issues(all good now), so I usually stop in to her place nowadays in the afternoon if I have time, to check on her when my mom is working and feed her. The cat rules appear to be as follows:
- I must never go to the bathroom alone. The door must be open so she can anxiously watch and ascertain that I won't be swept away by that flushy toilet thing.
- My husband is the most wonderful of humans, and she must be given amble time to stare at him adoringly.
- When I feed her, I must move her dish and feed her by the front door. Everyone else may feed her where she usually eats, but not me, or she will go on a hunger strike. (I have no idea how this actually happened, it's just the way it is now!)
- This is not strictly enforced, but she'd prefer I wear the winter coat with the long strings with it so she can bat them around, even if it is springtime and much warmer now.
If I'm a good human I get the best of rewards... kitty kisses, which consist of pressing her nose up against mine, which IS the most adorable thing I may have ever experienced. Believe it or not, usually I'm a dog person, but this cat is pretty alright. :D lilyvale
No Pass Zone....
We call it "paying the toll." Our doxie will instantly steal your spot if you get up to go to the bathroom or something, and she won't move until you've sufficiently rubbed the belly. So to get your seat back you have to pay the toll! wishingthebathwater
His way or the Highway!
If he doesn't get a drive in the car everyday - that's right a drive, not a walk - he sulks. If he knows he is definitely going for a drive he runs up and down like crazy and body slams you with all of his 55kg. It hurts but his excitement is also so unbelievably cute that you can't stop him.
If he gives you the 'sparkly eyes' you must chase him, call his name and clap loudly so he can run around like a speed demon. The clapping is mandatory. If there is cheese in the fridge and you open the fridge door he magically appears and you must give him some. There is a 'right' toy to play with that changes every day. You must try all 20 toys until you get the right one.
I'm not quite sure how I manage to have time to do anything else apart from following his rules but I wouldn't have it any other way. FabulousPainting
Bedtime Tetris...
I have to sleep with my back to my BF so the cat can snuggle into my hair while smelling BFs breath. colesnap
WAKE UP!!!!!!!
My cat kicks me out of my bed by 9 AM whenever I try to sleep in. On weekdays he prompts me to leave my bed by 7 AM so he can sleep in the bed. carbonthepolarbear
Mine does this too, except instead of purring he stays just out of reach while meowing incessantly. The moment I'm up they're either at the food dish or in the spot I just vacated. Ex_professo
One time I made scrambled eggs and I gave my dog a quarter of an egg worth of it (it was just pure egg, no salt or pepper or anything else). Now every time I make scrambled eggs my dog just assumes he's getting some and guilts me if I don't. And I usually give in. chloe2120
- Help! My Dog Won't Come When Called Unless I Give Him a Treat ›
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- 5 Reasons Your Dog Won't Come When Called | Petfinder ›
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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