People Who Were Suspected Of A Crime They Didn't Commit Reveal What It Was Like
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked:
Redditors who were once considered suspect of a crime they did not commit, what's it like being held under suspicion and how did it affect your life?
It Feels Like Your Life Is Taken From You
I was prosecuted in 2014 having been charged with conspiracy to commit criminal damage over a 2 year period, to a value of about £200k. I was on bail for 9 months during which I couldn't speak to 8 of my best mates, I had to find time to attend court without it affecting my work, and I had to fork over £5k in legal aid contributions.
My home was raided, I was arrested, I suffered from anxiety and it put me and my family under an awful lot of stress. I knew I wasn't guilty and it felt like my life was on hold for ages.
After two weeks of trial, the prosecution offered no evidence and I was, therefore, found not guilty. It felt like the world was lifted from my shoulders.
Hard To Getaway With A Baby
My ex was accused of robbing a house, and I was accused of being the get away driver. The cops came to my house, and questioned me. My ex had been out of town working, and you'd think that would've been an airtight alibi, but it wasn't. They figured where he was he could have robbed the house, and been where he was to start work. He came home early to deal with this despite my protesting. They arrested him visiting his terminally ill mom.
I had our baby with me, and they told me to follow them to the station where they would have cps waiting to take custody of our baby. I ran to my mom's house. They tried to arrest me as a get away driver, but I had an absolute airtight alibi, and they had to let me go. They kept him for the charges of home invasion.
Our relationship suffered after that. Said I cast too much suspicion when I ran with the baby, and it looked like I was stashing the stolen property. He lost his job because of it. They printed it in the local paper that he was arrested for the crime. After further investigation we were implicated by the actual robbers. They knew I was a stay at home mom, and didn't figure I'd have an alibi, and they didn't know that he had been working out if time. They gave the police our name, and the plates off my car.
The police never printed a retraction saying he wasn't the robber. There wasn't a retraction saying that I was no longer a suspect. Our names were ran through the mud. It completely ruined our relationship because he said I hung him out to dry. I had to move away and start over because people wouldn't hire me.
Trust A Better Friend Next Time
Not me, but a friend of mine was arrested on charges of downloading child pornography. The whole thing took two years to come to court.. which was instantly dismissed due to him being able to prove he was on vacation and had left a friend housesitting during the time of the downloads. Those two years destroyed his life though... local paper released his arrest details, he lost his job, his house was attacked by a mob (he had to pick up and leave in the middle of the night with nothing....he's never been back so he lost the house he owned and all of his possessions)... he ended up living in a tent in a field. It's been probably 5 years since he was totally acquitted and he's just now got his life back to normal.
Sometimes It's Too Late To Fix The Problem
I was falsely accused of domestic violence. Every horror story and legend about this you've heard is actually not bad enough to capture what actually happens to you as a male when this occurs.
She was kept anonymous, but my identity was public. My family shunned me, my friends abandoned me, lost my job, my car, my house, the legal bills ruined me. She suffered no consequences either.
Not only was I found Not Guilty, but I also received a "Finding of Innocence" which basically means, "This could not have happened, there is no way the accused did this."
Didn't matter though, the damage was done. In the end, I found out who really cares about the truth, and me. That liar died an early, painful death of cancer though.
It Wasn't Me, It Was The Other Me!
I almost went to jail and had my identity frozen because some guy had the same first name and last name as me, born on the same day, same month, SAME YEAR.
This guy was on parole and I think had a warrant out for him too. The only thing that saved me was that we lived in different counties, which happen to be right next to each other. The DMV had to contact the hall of records and compare our social security numbers to make sure that I wasn't the one on parole.
I dealt with it for several years, multiple police logs about my mistaken identity, multiple times being put in the back of a squad car because they thought I was him. I hope he got his sh-t together.
Sir, Are You Also 'John Smith'?
Ah, it's been fun. I was once brought to the Military Comissariat (that's the place in Russia where all the stuff about the military forces in the region is done). That was some time ago, I wasn't 18 yet and I had to bring my father too. They told me that there was a guy in Crimea who tried to purchase a place in FBI. He called somebody that he was making a deal with using a phone that he borrowed from a man on the street.
When he got caught, he told the authorities the name of phone's owner... which matches with my name completely (consider that the patronymic (father's name) is a part of a name too in Russia).
I asked all of their questions, told them I never was in Crimea, they copied some stuff from my phone's AC and I left. They never bothered me again. It was the oddest experience I had in my life.
Just Call Me "BomberMan"
When I was in 8th grade someone set off a homemade explosive near my house. They made a huge deal about it even though it was equivalent to a big firework.
Someone at my school submitted an anonymous tip that said "110_percent_THC knows how to make bombs." I had a detective put the screws on me at school soon after. They tried really hard to get me to admit to something I didn't do. I don't know if it mattered, but they interrogated me at school without my parents knowledge and before they were ever made aware I was a potential suspect. The detective told me "You're the mastermind of this complex and I'm going to prove it." He then showed up at my house after school that day and interviewed my parents. I told my parents in front of him that he straight up accused me of doing it and quoted his little line. He denied it which was such a sh*t thing to do.
It didn't really affect my life long term. It sucked when it happened and then I forgot about it.
The Unfortunate Problem Of Being The Last Person To See Her
When I was in high school one of my friends disappeared. We had a normal day at school, afterwards she asked me to drive her a couple of places for yearbook ad sales. I did and dropped her off back at school. She never made it home. That night I got a call from her mother asking if I knew where she was. I didn't. I rallied some friends, we made some flyers and hit all the obvious spots--airport, bus station and even called the local hospitals.
A couple of days later some detectives showed up at school and questioned me. Like someone else noted in this thread, I was not read my rights nor were my parents asked to be with me while I was questioned. Since I was the last person known to have seen her I was the prime suspect. I told them for hours I had no clue where she was.
Several days later I retraced our stops. At one place, the cops showed up and questioned me again. I was just looking for my friend.
My parents got involved at this point and the detectives backed off a little bit. But I ended up getting followed and I even got a ticket for something dumb, like going over a double yellow line, just so the cops could search my car. It was classic harassment and to this day I don't have a high regard for cops.
A few months later, my phone would ring at odd hours in the middle of the night. I would answer but whomever was on the other end of the phone wouldn't say a peep. Finally one night the call came, and she said hello. She told me what happened and where she was. I couldn't believe it, I thought she was dead. She had sh-tty reasons for running away but I respected why she did it. I didn't know what to do.
I went into school the next day and asked a trusted teacher what I should do. He told me I had to tell the authorities so I could give her family some peace and also to raise the cloud of suspicion I was under. So I did, I betrayed her confidence and called her family and the cops. Her family retrieved her from where she fled to and put her in private school. I tried calling her a few times but she refused to take my call. I wrote her off.
Some years later I Googled her and found out she was a bigwig at an Ivy League institution. I ended up sending her and email and she called me. She graduated HS, went to a great school and began her career. We chatted a couple of times but not once did she apologize. She did tell me life was bad for her after her family got her back.
She was sort of resentful that I told on her I think. We never did connect in person. While I think she has some resentment. I am happy she turned out ok. Yeah, it was a few months of hell and I didn't deserve it. I just simply moved on. I Google her every now and then, she's sort of a local celebrity where she lives, she involved with the arts so her name is published quite frequently.
Cops can really make your life hell if they want to.
A Cousin By Any Other Name
Not me, but my cousin.
He lives near San Francisco, and he was coming out of a movie one night when some cops stopped him. Apparently, someone stole one of those rented bikes, and a witness have a description that matched my cousin.
They didn't take him in, but they did grill him about where the bike was, got the witness to come and say it was him, and stuck him in the back of their car for a while. They told him he was a good liar but a dumb thief because all the bikes have GPS tracking.
Spoiler alert, he didn't steal the bike, and they found it with someone else who matched the description. They showed the witness, who confirmed it was the other guy, and they let my cousin go.
Neither the cops nor the witness apologized about the whole thing, but from what I gather, that's par for the course. My cousin was shaken up about it, but nothing else happened.
Dead Giveaway Was The Braces
This is a mild one.
When I was 16, my parents got a notice of a warrant out for my arrest. This 4'11" teenage girl with braces. Cue our confusion.
We contact the police and find out that some woman from a vintage store I frequented had accused me of a hit and run in their parking lot. The police officer handling the case was awful. Never contacted me. Looked at my car and saw no damage, but since the woman could pick my photo out of a line up (I went to this store all the time, of course she would recognize me) the cop decided that I did the crime and that I needed to be arrested.
My parents had to hire a lawyer and we went to court. We were able to get the case dropped, unless more evidence were to come up.
None ever did.
It was scary, and my parents were pissed at me for months (even though I didn't do anything).
Cheating The System
Worked as a cashier while in college at a well known big box wholesaler. The system has clerks and assistants with a pretty big pay difference. I worked the crappy shifts and got more "clerk time" so higher pay and quicker raises because others wanted to go home early all the time.
I was accused of cheating to get raises. Several times they looked at the time cards and all they saw was the I worked late crappy shifts and always covered for people that wanted to go party.
Money ended up missing from a register that I was on while covering for a break. Everyone on the register was put on the "watch" list.
I never once stole from them, but co-workers were really pissed. They took time off to party while I worked crappy shifts and saved. They bought new cars while I drove an old clunker and saved money. I had money while they were broke and they didn't like that.
I was setup several times and this was a union shop, after quite a while, the union finally stepped in and realized what was going on.
They never found any evidence of anything. Managers and co-workers made a different set of rules to harass me, even thou I was the guy picking up the crappy late nite shifts and working when others just wanted to party.
Not the first time these kinds of things happen. Seems people just don't like to see others that don't fit in with what they are or do. Seen it many times, people can be really sh-tty.
Unfortunate Car Damage
I was driving my buddies car that matched the description to a T of another car that has just hit a girl on a skateboard. This happened in a small town, so the whole town was looking for the car. I had a police officer damn near leap or in front of me as I was pulling away from a stop sign and berated me left and right.
They brought some witnesses over and said the car I was driving was the car. I understand that because the car that hit the girl had a smashed up front right corner and the side mirror got ripped off when the car hit the girl. The car I was driving had a smashed right front and no side mirror. They were ready to haul me in until another cop came over and noticed the car I was driving was covered in dust, whereas the car that hit the girl wasn't dusty per witnesses.
A few phone calls to my buddies house from the police verifying that I had just come from there saved me and they reluctantly let me go. They found the real culprit a few hours later.
It didn't really affect me much because nothing came of it, but it was terrifying at the time. It almost felt like a movie, like it's this really happening, am I seriously going to jail for something I didn't do?
These Are Your Formative Years
Some friends and I were surrounded by rifle wielding cops while walking home from taco bell one day when I was 14 or 15. The arrested us, and took us to the station. They kept asking us to confess, that they know what we did, and that they had witnesses.
To this day I have no idea what they suspected us of. They let us go that night. I don't trust cops.
Just Another Good Story
My husband was a murder/missing person suspect for a day or two, as he and his friend gave the guy a ride home and were the last to see him. I'm sure at first it was stressful since they didn't know what happened to the man, but once his body was found, he was cleared of suspicion right away (it was obvious the guy died naturally outside in the winter.)
He told me the story over one of our first dates, and I went wild looking online to make sure I could corroborate the story and I wasn't getting involved in something fishy.
Now it's just a sad/slightly ironic story (since he's the nicest, most trustworthy guy you could hope to meet) that he'll bring up when drinking occasionally.
Military Lock-Up
Confusing, mostly, since I wasn't being told what I was accused of.
I was in the army on a foreign post, when I was ordered to CID. I had to sign something acknowledging that I was being accused of a crime, but then I just sat around for hours waiting for someone to talk to me, wondering wtf this was all about.
Finally, someone showed up to interrogate me about the crime, which was a laptop stolen from a barracks room. Since I and 2 other soldiers had performed an inventory of the barracks furniture (and thus had access to every room for a day), we were the (only, I assume) suspects. Fortunately for me, the victim of the crime was a very good friend of mine, so I was able to tell the investigator that the laptop was stolen (and reported to CID) well before we went through the barracks.
He left the room to make a phone call, came back, and said we were free to go. Took less than 5 minutes.
What Happens When You're Younger Affects You Later On
I was 11 and was accused of busting the neighbors window. It sucked because I was friends with their son. The cops came and questioned me a bunch and I was nervous because I was being accused of something I'd never even consider doing. It didn't help that the cop was a dick. He was basically telling me I did it. It all turned out fine. I didn't get charged or have to buy a new window.
It just made me no longer be friends with the neighbor, and I lost a lot of respect for cops.
Now, On A Slightly Lighter Note
I was a suspect of tripping one of my friends on the playground back in 3rd grade. The school bully was the one who did it, but they knew to get out of sight fast and I was the first one blamed because I was walking next to the victim. I guess the significant impact on my life is that me and the accuser stopped being friends after that because I got detention.
A Young Life Torn Apart
I was once accused of setting my room on fire by the police. I wasn't home at the time and a 16 year old teenager who just lost my father to a heart attack 75 days before hand. My aunt had moved in several months before and had been having her birthday party.
I had asked to go to a friend's house after being there for a little while. While playing computer games at my friend's house I got a phone call that my room was on fire so I rushed on my bike back to see the fire department finishing up and the police investigating. The police told me they didn't believe that it was an accident, so they asked me to come to the station to answer some questions so we could figure out who did it. Being naive I agreed of course I will. We will definitely find out who did it, ask me anything.
I was not read my rights at all including that as a minor I have the right to a guardian present. It started out as a friendly sort of interview and I had no idea they suspected me, but it became clear that they did when they started yelling at me and accusing me.
They believed I set my room on fire because I wanted to hurt my family to which I responded if I wanted to hurt them why wouldn't I set a fire on the stairs so they couldn't escape? Their reply was that it was a cry for help and it was not too late for me. I responded that why would I set a fire in my room it has all my things in it... why wouldn't I set a fire somewhere else in the house.
I asked them for any evidence or proof because they were just blaming the teenager for something that happened when he wasn't even home. When I asked the fire investigator what he thought he said he thought I did it too, and the reason the fire started when I wasn't home was because I had been making bombs. I was shocked in disbelief.
The police then kept yelling at me to sign a confession and that everything would go easier for me once I signed it. I told them I've seen plenty of movies and the police always try to strong-arm confessions to the innocent just so they can get a conviction. It was almost humorous when they said this isn't a movie kid, except I had been crying my eyes out by this point.
After several hours of making a little boy cry without him cracking they'd let me go. I was a very good and boring kid who completely trusted authority figures before then... now I realize that anyone can be a liar, idiot, or a--hole. I never smoked, didn't have a drink until I was 21, worked full time, and for fun rode my bike and played with my pets. (Also I loved my pets... why would I endanger them?)
The fallout from this was that my aunt and uncle treated me like a monster until I moved out. It was only years later until after my aunt and uncle divorced that my aunt told me that my former Uncle knew that his friend had started the fire by doing drugs in my room while I wasn't home. The friend already had a record and would have gone away for a long long time so my uncle told him to get out of there and told the police he thought I started it to protect his friend. while I hate my aunt for many reasons it did sort of show why she never treated me nicely.
That friend later fell asleep while smoking or doing drugs, which started a fire. His stepson died, his daughter was crippled, cats and dogs dead, and he himself is bedridden in a care home unable to speak. If he hadnt been such a wimpy loser who could take responsibility for his actions he would be out of prison and able to walk, and those children would be alive.
My life was changed, and not for the better. Im fine now, but this event made some struggles come back to bite me as a younger man. The only good adult out of all the friends and family and cops there was my old tae kwon do instructor. He fought the fire with extinguishers and saved my two cats hiding in my room. When I got there on my bike he was outside holding them both. He was a great man.
Ever had a crime pinned on you? Let us know below!
H/T: Reddit
Serving in the military is not for the faint of heart.
There are so many dangerous aspects to the job.
When people discuss it, we think about war and the sacrifice people make with their lives.
But there is a ton of scandal involved with the military.
Over the years, so much information has leaked about bad behavior and just everyday nonsense.
Just because a person becomes a soldier doesn't mean they're perfect.
Redditor AdRealistic03 wanted to discuss the shocking things we've all learned about our armed forces, so they asked:
"What are some NSFW secrets about the military?"
The military is littered with secrets, and I love secrets. Tell me more...
Hey Girl
Fight Dance GIF by tv2norgeGiphy"Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard:"
"'Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet.'"
Tak_Jaehon
Baby Guards
"Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers."
it_helper
"Navy is the same. The guy that Naruto runs to the galley is the same one that stands watch over the nuclear reactor."
satanyourdarklord
"Lowest ranks pull guard duties more often."
"Who's the lowest rank? That baby faced 18 year old who just joined up."
"Guard duties are up there as one of the most bone taskings going."
Daewoo40
The Side Hustle
"Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from."
Lazy-Plum-19
"I was our unit's drug test guy. I smoked weed every day because I obviously would not drug test myself. I was also really good at it so they wouldn't give the job to someone else. I could get our tests done and completed without mistakes in like 1/5 of the time of my predecessor. Didn't sell drugs, but I've given plenty away."
Changnesia_survivor
Oh My
"Swingers exist on every single base in the world, in Sigonella, they would use different boxes of detergent in the windows to show what they were into and what age range they were looking for. Patrolling the housing area became much more interesting when you see who lives in the houses and what they’re into."
catfartzz
Multi-Purpose
Hungry Labor Day GIF by BounceGiphy"The food boxes that come in literally say 'For prison and military use only.'"
BlackLotus8888
"My husband was watching a documentary with people in prison and was like hey we have the same blankets on the ship."
PricklyPix
No matter who eats it, it's been said nobody thinks any of that food tastes good.
How many?
Oh My Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I was selected 6 times in a row to be a urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 penises involuntarily."
Jarhead-Coffee
Bad Intentions
"The number of people who get sick and tired of being in the service who will go out and do some drug or another to get kicked out. During our Iraq/Afghanistan years, you wouldn't believe how many people would purposely pee hot or, females would intentionally get pregnant to get out of going."
Blackhawk-388
Not Sexy
"A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly well, you can’t inspect everything, so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare into your anus to check you for ticks in there. Not very glamorous."
Litenpes
Health Issues
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Looooooottttts of chlamydia."
Triatomine
"My unit in Okinawa had the highest STD rate for the island. I was so glad I wasn't a part of any of that."
FightingNymph
Trashed
"Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED."
"I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the s**t off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with sh*t that fish are eating and dying on."
eyehate
Sounds like there is A LOT of fraternization in our Armed services.
Be careful out there.
Things People Learned From Their Parents That They Didn't Realize Were F**ked Up Until Later In Life
It's always nice to think that parents are doing everything they can to raise their children, but as humans, they're all going to make mistakes.
But as many people will discover, their parents also taught them some terrible lessons when they were young.
Redditor timdood3 asked:
"What did your parents teach you as a kid that you didn't realize was actually f**ked up until you were older?"
What Is Self-Love?
"In an effort to teach me to be considerate, or not selfish, I guess, my dad said, 'Love yourself last' more than a few times to me. That’s a mess I’ve been untangling for about 35 years."
- Eauxddeaux
Guard Birds
"My mom told me that, on some buildings, there weren’t guard dogs but rather guard birds. These birds were trained to peck your eyes out if you trespassed. I believed this till I was 16 and have been afraid of birds ever since."
- GudatPickinUsernames
Desensitized
"My grandparents were morticians... I remember sitting on an embalming table, swinging my legs back and forth off the table, while watching my grandfather embalm someone and talk to me about what he was doing. I was seven."
"It's honestly a great memory and the many times I had with him like that taught me a lot about how to deal with death, how life is cherished, how different grief can be from person to person, and how to be emotionally strong for others."
"Good guy... Just was very desensitized to his work's more macabre parts."
"To add to this story, my grandparents were morticians for work, owning their own funeral home, but magicians as a hobby, frequently traveling with and training other magicians."
"When my grandfather passed away, we had a special service just for his magician friends. Some of the most famous magicians in the world showed up for the wand breaking, where my grandfather's wand was broken in two."
- Lord_Blackthorn
The Extensive Scapegoating
"For me, it was after they'd duped a child psychologist. I was in what? Second or third grade?"
"But I realized that they were so good at pretending to be the best people in the world that they could act as if I was the terrible one. They would always find a way to pass me as the monster instead of them."
"It didn't matter who I would have told."
- ThrownToDiscard
"As a former scapegoat child, I can tell you, unequivocally, that you were never the problem. They were the monsters."
- ResultJolly7112
The Truth Behind Child Protective Services
"My mom somehow convinced me that 'child protective services' were the bad guys."
"Finding out (well into adulthood) that they take children away from biological parents' care only as an extreme last resort was a bit of a shocker."
"It also makes me wonder just how much she was doing, that she knew was f**ked up, and I just didn't bother remembering because it had always been that way for me."
- DisposableTires
Don't Be a Burden
"Do not ever be a bother to anyone. Solve all your problems by yourself."
- Soobobaloula
"I feel this one. My parents paired it with 'always be accommodating to others.' Made it so I had very few boundaries and always tried to help others even when I didn't want to, but could never ask or accept help when offered. Not a great mix for the abusive relationships I faced as I got older."
- joyfall
"It really hit me when we were walking on a wide sidewalk. A group approached and my mom shoved me off onto the grass, even though the group had plenty of room. Your own kid gets body-checked so you don’t even have the appearance of slightly inconveniencing strangers."
- Soobobaloula
"My oldest kid asked me once, just out of curiosity, 'How come you always have to hop off the path when people are coming? But they never do?'"
"That hit me like a sack of bricks. That it was that noticeable for my kid to pick up. I never made him move, but I always do. Even now. Hard habit to break."
- ahalfdozen6
Intellectual Awareness
"They made me distrust my own intelligence. They talked down to me and treated me like an airhead, giving me a smirk every time I tried to be serious about anything."
"It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned that I am intelligent and gained self-confidence despite the negative self-esteem they had instilled in me."
- Kelbel2525
Drinking and Driving
"My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like makes sense. I was around four."
- Diggler149
"My dad got me a job when I was 18, so I'd drive in with him. On the way home, he would beeline for the liquor store. He'd drink a half pint and two Budweisers on a 30-minute ride home, three to five times a week. I thought this was just what people did after work on the way home. Crazy."
- dolo_ran6er
Building Credit and Credit Debt
"I was told, 'Don’t get a credit card.'"
"No one ever told me there’s no interest if you pay on time."
"I could’ve built my credit earlier, but they just didn’t want me to spend money I didn’t have and fall into debt with interest."
"Student Loan Debt, however… yeah that was highly encouraged by every adult around me…"
- LetsJerkCircular
"My dad was 'teaching' me about credit cards and said you can just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind, and made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month and he’s drowning in credit card debt."
- lilmrs-t
Grief is Unacceptable
"If you’re sad, that means the devil is inside you and you need to pray for forgiveness."
"I was six, and my cat had just died."
- AngstyRacc00n
Hold Grudges
"After arguing with a girlfriend and not speaking with her for a few days, BOTH my parents told me separately to hold onto my beef with her like a grudge and use it against her later."
"I've been married to the girlfriend now 25 years this year, never once took my parents' advice, and have NO IDEA how my parent's marriage survived, lol (laughing out loud)."
- mcbrian67
"I have a couple in my family like that. Any time I was at their house, without fail, they would be making passive-aggressive comments, sniping at each other, bringing up all sorts of past s**t, etc..."
"As a kid, I never looked forward to going to their place, because it was always incredibly awkward. Yet, they've been married for close to 50 years. It's like bitching at each other nonstop is their love language."
"My mom always said she was so happy the two of them found each other, if for nothing else than that it spared two other innocent people from having to put up with them."
- DisturbedNocturne
Exposure Therapy
"I always had anxiety as a child, and my mother said the only way to get over it is to deal with the situation head-on. Sounds great until I told her my fear of escalators and she pushed me down, and I fell and almost got my hair caught."
"Another thing she loved to teach me is how self-defense is necessary. Great! Where do I take lessons? There were no lessons.. she said being with my abusive ex was enough of a lesson. I should have learned then."
- throwrathebagelway
Debilitating Perfectionism
"My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older and people told me to just 'do my best.'"
"When I was in grade school, I would come to my dad with A’s all super excited. But, if it was anything less than a 100%, he would ask for the missing percentage. So, when I had a 98%, he’d say, 'Well, where’s the 2%?' And now, if I do anything less than perfect, I beat myself up."
- Gremlin-o-Chaos
Make It Make Sense
"I was scolded for pouting, stomping my feet, and being sad. I ended up avoiding all of those when I grew up and became secretive about my emotions. Then, they would get mad at me for not opening up."
- sword_of_gibril
While we all like to think the best of our parents, many people have come to terms with the mistakes their parents made, including the false information they were given.
The problem with so much of this information is how hard it is to unlearn, and how deeply traumatizing it can be to discover we were traumatized.
Some people are not destined to be friends, and some are absolutely not compatible to date.
But sometimes we don't find that out until we're already dating them, and they reveal a belief they have that we feel is completely ridiculous.
Redditor Ghost7579ox asked:
"When did you realize that you’re dating an idiot?"
Issues with Big Brother
"She refused to pay taxes, have a bank account, or pay for public transit."
"She told me, 'I change my name every few years so they can't find me.'"
"Like, she'd go to the GOVERNMENT and change her name. Legally. So the GOVERNMENT couldn't find her."
"We broke up for other reasons, but this was the first red flag."
- GreasyBud
Enough Said.
"She pre-heats the microwave."
- seanm3109
Parenting Fail
"When I mentioned WW1, and she asked if that was why they called WW2 'THE SECOND WORLD WAR?!'"
"She had no idea there was a first one."
"Her parents also taught her that a guy masturbating and a girl having a period were basically the same thing as abortions. No wonder she was one of 11 siblings."
- plattman1992
Not a Guitar Player
"It was in high school, but I got an acoustic guitar to try to learn. I asked my boyfriend who claimed to have played if he could tune it for me."
"This motherf**ker literally turned it all the tight that the f**king bridge ripped off and then acted like it was a piece of junk."
"It was a cheap guitar but he literally wasn't listening for the notes or anything and just turning away and acting shocked, when even I thought that's exactly what would happen not knowing anything about guitars."
- aoi4eg
Just Slow Down
"The cops regularly put a speed camera on a corner near his house. They have been doing it a couple of times a month for as long as he lived there, and he got caught by it many times."
"He was crying to me (literally) about how unfair the latest fine was and he had no money to pay it, I was fed up and told him to just slow down around that corner."
"I could tell from the look on his face he hadn't even considered that, and he got angry with me for not being sensitive enough."
- quokkafarts
Stick It to the Man
"She skipped going to community college classes to 'stick it to the professor'..."
"I had to explain that she had already paid to be there and the professor wouldn't care or notice."
- griffinman01
Just Checking
"The day I told my girlfriend I think I broke my toe and her solution was to yank on it with all her might."
"It was gout."
- jangasaurus
A Dealbreaker
"She was struggling with money and being able to save. I came home one day and she had a new 40k car in the driveway. She purchased it without even discussing it with me."
"She essentially sentenced herself to have no savings for the next five years when we were trying to save to buy a house together."
- AccomplishedScar6582
Gas Leak Roulette
"The night I said that I thought I smelled gas, and they grabbed a lighter and struck it without hesitation."
- Usr_145
Sonic: The Horror Movie
"My ex was scared of hedgehogs and convinced himself they could jump over a six-foot fence like a cat."
- victoria-euphoria
The Knife Tip of Narcissism
"When I asked her to hand me a kitchen knife and she threw it at me (underhanded, but still)… and that’s not even the stupidest part."
"When I tried to explain the basics of handing someone a knife, or pair of scissors, she refused to accept that what she did was wrong or unsafe… It was suddenly apparent that she couldn’t possibly ever admit to being wrong."
- saucytopcheddar
Advertising's Version of 'Groundhog Day'
"An ex thought that commercials were recorded live, and the people on TV were employed to do them over and over again."
- KibblesNBixtch3s
How the Cookie Crumbles
"She worked for a specialty decorated cookie shop at the mall. Like where you get those dinner plate-sized cookies with 'Get Well Soon' or whatever written in frosting."
"She texted me a picture from work, proudly showing me a cookie she had decorated for a customer. She was legitimately excited to show me her creation. I had not previously seen any of her masterpieces prior to this."
"Not only did the artwork look like a three-year-old's finger painting, but it said, 'CONRADULATINS,' which aside from the obviously bad spelling, she had clearly not even planned out the spacing in her head first, so it said, 'CONRADU,' across the whole cookie, and then, in tiny letters up the side, 'latins.'"
" She thought it came out pretty well. She was about 30 at the time."
"I'll be honest, I broke things off shortly afterwards because of that cookie."
- Asleep_Onion
Pyramid Schemes
"After her third 'business opportunity' turned out to be another pyramid scheme."
"We didn't date long but knew each other for a while before that. I liked her for her 'work hard, get paid' attitude. Turns out the hard work she was doing was costing her waaay more than she made, and didn't realize it."
- Aelerious
"I broke down how pyramid schemes work to this one girl who got sucked into them all the time. Throughout my explaining, she said, 'That sounds like MLM,' like three times. After, we sat in silence. Can't see the forest for the trees comes to mind."
- IRealEWannaSay
Inexperienced with... Weather?
"One night he turned to me and said, 'You're a bit of a scientist' (I was taking biology in high school, he was in college for music). 'Can you explain how I can take frozen yogurt from the freezer, put it in the fridge, and it melts?'"
"I, already concerned, replied, 'Well, the fridge is warmer. It's not cold enough to keep it frozen.'"
"He then asked, 'But it's still cold?'"
"And I had to explain that there are different levels of cold?"
"Somewhere along the way, I said, 'Cold is the absence of heat like darkness is the absence of light,' and he was so mindblown by that."
- marceliiine
Not every relationship is meant to work out, but there are some that are more obviously destined to continue than others.
At least in most of these cases, the person was saved some time because of their partner's knowledge.
People tend to gravitate toward various celebrities based on the work they do without really knowing who they are in real life.
For example, actors who play nefarious characters may have a legion of fans who love the rebellious persona but can be let down after discovering their personality is actually quite loveable.
We often tend to forget celebrities are people too, and their real-life persona may be contradictory to the type of characters they play in movies.
Curious to hear from those who were in for a pleasant surprise after meeting a star, Redditor BEEPY_BO1 asked:
"Who is the kindest/rudest celebrities you've met IRL?"
These positive chance meetings stayed with Redditors forever.
Not Forgotten
"My sibling has a terminal illness in the 80s and Make A Wish sent our family to the set of Knight Rider to meet David Hasselhoff. Was cool, but that's not what matters."
"Fast forward 30 years and I'm at Heathrow picking up a family member when I see the Hoff standing there on his phone. I approach him and wait for him to end his call. He looks at me and says hello. I tell him that we met. He looks at me and say, 'Was their name ...?' He remembered their name after 30 years."
"That will always stay with me."
– AnsweringLiterally
The Sweet Canadian
"I used to serve Rachel McAdams at a restaurant fairly regularly. She was always super sweet. Very lowkey and soft spoken in person. She and her husband would come in late and keep to themselves."
– overintoxikatied
"I was at a pub in Toronto years ago and we were watching the Blue Jays home opener on the TV. The bar had a long booth seat with a series of tables strung along so you sat pretty close to the next patron."
"Had no idea that Rachel McAdams was sitting next to me the whole time. My friend and I watched the game and chatted with them throughout as they were right next to us. Just regular pub chatter and comments about the game."
"The Jays ended up coming back to win, and Rachel and I high-fived at the conclusion. She and her friend left, and my friend smacked me after they got up and said "that was Rachel f'kin' McAdams!" So yes, she seemingly has the ability to just be low-key and fit right in despite being a beautiful Hollywood actress!"
– skipfairweather
Satisfying His Sweet Tooth
"Ian McKellen came to the spa I worked at and was absolutely lovely. We didn’t sell ice cream but there was a farm shop across the road and I mentioned it and he asked me if I’d take him there."
"My friend who worked in the farm shop had his mouth open the whole time seeing me buying ice cream with Gandalf."
– ClydeinLimbo
They are professionals but are also good with people. A winning combo.
Pure Magic
"Penn and Teller hang out in the lobby after their show in Vegas to chat and sign autographs. Very friendly and yes Teller can talk."
– vandalia
"Teller was really sweet to my brother who is handicapped and in a wheelchair. That meant a lot to me."
– VeryBestMentalHealth
The Perfectionists
"I have worked with Steve Martin and Martin Short, they’re both super nice, respectful, and incredibly dedicated to their craft. They’ll spend hours finessing a couple lines in a show they do every night just to get it right for that evening’s performance."
– snakefest
The Conversationalists
"I was an extra on The Last of Us and met Pedro Pascal. He was super nice. We technically weren’t allowed to talk to the 'talent' and they’d usually ignore us but he and Gabriel Luna talked to us anyway."
– _PlaZma
Talent Recognizes Talent
'Giancarlo Esposito was incredibly warm and also told me I should try and get into voice acting. I have never and will never attempt to do so but it was such a nice compliment for no reason.'
– dronecypher
These Redditors have bragging rights for the best celeb encounter anecdotes.
Congrats Are In Order
"I proposed to my wife at a restaurant in Kauai. Afterwards, Michael Keaton leaned over from his table with his family and enthusiastically congratulated us. Very kind and friendly."
– Warren_Puffitt
Deadpanned By Deadpool
"Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively live relatively close to my hometown and show up to this Christmas event every now and again that our town puts on. Walked out of the ice cream parlor downtown and sitting on the bench right outside is Ryan Reynolds eating an ice cream cone. I looked up at him as I was walking out and made eye contact, and I looked away, then I looked back to make sure it was him, and he looks me dead in the face and goes 'I know right, isn’t it crazy?' And then he gets up and walks away. 10/10"
– Euuphoriaa
Inspired And Encouraged
"I met Weird Al at a con once. While he was signing the photo I bought, I told him about how he inspired me to write my own parody songs. He seemed genuinely interested and asked if I had a YouTube channel, but I told him I just write them, not record them. Super nice dude (at least for the brief time we spoke)."
– Avandra
A Birthday To Remember
"Jeff Goldblum, after a matinee of 'The Pillowman.' Autographs, photos, asking people where they were from, what else they had seen/were going to see. One girl mentioned they were in the city for her birthday as she was taking a photo of him with her friends, he stopped and said “How can you not be in your own birthday picture,” took her camera and grabbed someone from the crowd to take a picture of the group. Would not leave until he was sure everyone got what they wanted (despite his assistant or handler trying to move him along for dinner before the evening performance)"
– alter_ego19456
I met Keri Russell at one of my favorite restaurants. She was dining alone and reading a book.
I'm not usually not one for invading a celebrity's personal space, but because I was a HUGE Felicity fan, I had to say hi.
I told her she was even more gorgeous in person and that I wanted to tell her I admired her work. She blushed and simply said, "Oh, stawwwp!" and laughed.
She then asked about me, what I thought of the food at this particular establishment, etc. She had such a great, laid-back vibe. Not wanting to take up any more of her time, I excused myself.
When she eventually got up to leave, she came over to where I was sitting with my significant other at the time, and she told us with a wink, "You boys, have a good night."
I almost died.