If the walls are thin... all information is fair game. The secrets that are exposed, the lies uncovered, the heartache, the joy..... heck, things we can listen from our neighbor's lives can be better than any telenovela. So many buildings are built so paper thin (thank you slumlords of NYC) that listening is unavoidable. And Lord do the neighbors have issues.
Redditor u/EskildDood wanted to hear what secrets have been overheard by "accident" by asking.... Redditors with thin walls, what have you heard in your apartment?
Vroom. Vroom.
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I can hear when my neighbors vacuum. Our building tends to vacuum together as a result. I hear my upstairs neighbor and go "oh hey i should vacuum haven't done that in awhile and its already noisy." Then my downstairs neighbor and my left hand neighbor start vacuuming. It's kinda hilarious. My right hand neighbor doesn't vacuum with us but does sing opera while doing dishes. SurvivingJupiter
2 A.M.
Years ago I had an upstairs neighbor. At 2am, every night, I would hear something sprint across the entire apartment. I realized three things, it was very fast, it took small strides, and it never deviated from its path. One day, I saw my neighbor outside and I said, "I don't know how you have energy at 2am?" He responded with, "Dude, I've been working the midnight to 8am shift for 15 years. Doesn't bother me at all."
That night, I watched him leave his house, drive off, and waited two hours. At exactly 2am, I heard what sounded like two feet hit the floor in his bedroom, and the marathon started.
A few weeks later, I see him outside. I tell him what I hear at night and he says, "That's strange, no one has my keys, it's just me and my rabbit up there." MancetheLance
For Good Measure.
I once heard a former roommate laughing with his then girlfriend about how they're screwing me over on money. Turned out they were taking my utility portion and buying various games and alcohol.
Instead of confronting them, I confirmed what they said with the utilities company (they hadn't paid the bill is 2 months) and I moved all my stuff out that day while they were at work. For good measure, I took myself off the lease and told them about the GF that had been there 6 months. Azurko
TWICE?!?! Miracles.
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I've heard and felt the neighbors upstairs having sex.
And apparently they like to rearrange the furniture at least twice a week. 3720-To-One
The Phantom.
I actually manage an apartment complex where my office is surrounded by a one bedroom unit. The building is old and the walls are thin. The tenant that used to live in the unit was a quiet man but would frequently sing beautiful opera music. His voice was amazing and I loved it every time I heard him sing!
Then one time I saw him in the halls and made the mistake of asking if he was the one who sang these beautiful opera songs. His face turned red but he confirmed that it was him. I told him that I always enjoyed it when I heard him sing and that it would always brighten my day.
Never should have said anything because I never heard him sing again. _Funke_
Damn it Jessica!
I once heard an argument that went a little like this:
"Stop treating me like I'm stupid!"
"You asked if Seahorses were mammals, Jessica!"
"THEY GIVE LIVE BIRTH." ApplepieButterfly
Ummm... 911?
My upstairs neighbors taking turns zapping each other with a stun gun, hitting the floor, groaning in pain, and then laughing like Beavis and Butthead.. yesnogoodbye
Secrets.
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Heard the couple next door arguing. The wife was furious because she realized he had been cheating on her after she found out she had chlamydia. He tried to convince her that she must have been the unfaithful one. She still lives there. He doesn't. thedesertnomad
Second Floor....
I lived on the second of three floors. Below me, there was a couple who scheduled their fights for Saturday night. You could hear the female absolutely berating the male, saying how he looked at another girl while they were out or something like that, and he would do nothing but resignedly respond in a monotone voice. I couldn't hear his side- it was very much like the teacher in Charlie Brown. Then, the morning after, without fail, they would have crazy loud makeup sex.
Above me was a drummer. Now I wouldn't mind it, except he practiced early and late, and never really got any better. It was painful. Luckily he was kicked out, and the punching bag guy took his place! At least he kept a consistent beat... Even when it shook my entire apartment. Astrea23
The Stairwell.....
In college, I lived in a crappy apartment nearby the school, that was mostly populated by students. Halfway to class one day, I realized I forgot a book and had to rush back to my apartment to get it. As I was running up the stairs (which shared a wall with the stairs in the next door apartment, which mirrored my own) I could have sworn I heard someone yelling. I ignored it and ran to my room to grab my book.
As I clambered downstairs, again I heard yelling, and I paused to listen. I heard some unintelligible moaning, and eventually heard the words "help me," weakly groaned from the stairs next door. I rushed out and tried their door, but it was locked. I totally forgot about my class and ran to the apartment management office, hoping that someone was there. A manager was, thank goodness, and after I explained the situation, she grabbed her master keys and we booked it back to my neighbor's place.
She opened the door and the poor guy was laying in the stairwell (it was one of the ones that goes up halfway to the second floor, then turns 90 degrees for the rest of the way), clearly having fallen. I called 911 while the manager ran over to the guy. Ambulance came and picked him up, and I later learned that he had fallen down the stairs after passing into a brief diabetic coma.
I guess he hadn't eaten in some time; I don't know too much about how diabetes works. Anyhow, to this day, I feel grateful that I forgot that book. That poor guy could have died, slumped halfway down the stairs with his face in the carpet. thatdanglion
Tiny Furniture?
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My upstairs neighbors used to do the furniture moving thing. We both had studio apartments and it was a huge mystery to me how they could move what sounded like a warehouse full of furniture for an hour in such a tiny place. york100
Daddy....
My downstairs neighbors are a couple with a one year old boy. The babies room is right under mine. They speak so sweetly to him I'm not even mad that I can hear them so clearly.
One morning the dad went in to get the baby out of bed and I hear him go "can you say daddy? Can you say daddy?" And in the tiniest little voice I heard "daddy." My heart melted. Kaaitlynnx
The Mystery....
In our old apartment our upstairs neighbor had extremely loud, theatrically enthusiastic sex in the middle of the day. The puzzle was that he would stop in the middle and we'd hear him walk to where the bathroom is, stay there for a minute or two and then walk back and resume in the bedroom. It was the same pattern every time. We could never figure out what that was all about. Any ideas welcomed. excelsior1907
Mozart!
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An argument about money while I was doing the dishes. It ended with a slammed door and one of them on a piano, hitting the keys like a maniac. Some people read, some people go get something to eat, some people exercise... this fool relieves stress by going crazy on a piano. lol FultonHomes
On the Lamb....
I moved from far away, so I have a different state license plate than everyone else at the apartment complex. A couple of days ago I head my upstairs neighbor drunkenly ranting to his wife about what he thinks I'm up to. He's convinced that I'm on the run from something. I'm just in grad school lmao. greatergood2019
But Gina!!!
"Gina, I love you! Gina no! Gina, dammit put the knife down!!" At this point, both the apartments adjoining to Gina's called the police. Gina's husband decided to spend the night elsewhere. oldmuttsysadmin
Bullseye!
I lived next to a couple some years ago and they came home after a night out and started fighting about who was better at darts. I thought they were joking but it got pretty heated. Doors were slammed.
Edit: Since people are asking, they were playing darts at the bar earlier that night. From what I could tell they were playing as a team and the boyfriend wasn't pulling his weight and was super defensive about it (had an off night, allegedly). The girlfriend was mad he couldn't accept she was better. I'm no detective but think they had some relationship issues bigger than darts. Aromatic_Bird
Alarmed!
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More what my neighbor heard... I'm a deep sleeper and was an even deeper sleeper as a teenager. My phone alarm was going off for 30 minutes and my neighbors could hear it through the walls, assumed it was a burglar alarm and called the police. Waking up to the police banging on my door was confusing. iMac_Hunt
mundian to bach ke.....
- lots of sex
- my presumably constipated neighbor trying to poop, aka 5 min of grunting and heavy breathing
- someone snoring like what I can only describe as a diesel truck revving its engine
- a little girl practicing playing what I think was a violin every night for a while
- someone blasting middle eastern music. I shazamed it and the song is called "mundian to bach ke"
- what sounded like a woman forcing herself to puke, with lots of crying. IDK if she had food poisoning, or was bulimic or what. sam_the_shinobi
5 Doors Down.
My University accommodation had paper thin walls, you could hear people having sex 5 doors down, and I could hear my friends music from even further away. SashaPrykhodko
"Yeah I know."
I heard the couple that used to live next door go through divorce. Their yelling got progressively worse until I realized that their relationship really wasn't healthy. Once she mentioned that they had split up and that she was moving I was like "Yeah I know." Anorcrakna
Things that go Bang!
The way my old apartments were laid out, the neighbors bedroom was right next to my kitchen / dining room. One night, I hear them banging (thin walls are thinner when the bed is hitting the wall) while I was fixing dinner. I just turned up the music and continued on with my life. Two hours later, I was cleaning up, doing dishes, and generally tidying up when I heard the familiar thump thump thump of banging.
I think, good for them and bag up the trash to take out. Thump thump thump. I open the door and take my bag of trash outside. As I'm walking out, I see the male half of my thumping neighbors.... walking in from his car.
Walking back from the dumpster, I see a half naked dude running out of the neighbors apartment. They moved shortly after that. Cypher_Shadow
"first of all."
Couple upstairs would argue frequently. One particular evening, they had an epic battle. It was hours long.
About 2 hours into the argument (11 pm on a weeknight) we heard the woman shout "first of all."
That was the moment we knew sleeping wouldn't be restful that night. EE327
Adele! That is all!
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My male neighbor from India belting out hello by Adele at the top of his lungs. It was magical. kittenkin
Man, my old building was full of Chinese internationals and every so often i'd get a free concert of whatever Chinese music is popular, Jessie J. and Taylor Swift. It's truly beautiful. foursevenniner
Disconnect.
I could hear my neighbor fart and when her phone went off on vibrate. It was like having roommates I couldn't see. overmyhead5
Oh, I thought they were connected. Every time her phone went off, she farted. TalisFletcher
"Bless you!"
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Someone sneezed.
We said bless you.
They laughed. KiltedLady
Are you my old neighbor?
First day in my apartment, I was sitting on my empty living room floor eating pizza. I sneezed and I heard the guy above me say, "Bless you!" He was my favorite neighbor after that. hey-there-reddit
"YOU'RE HAVING SEX IN MYYYYY BED?!"
Upstairs neighbors were a single mom and teenage daughter. They were very loud. The mom's room was above my room. One day I had off and was woken up by sex upstairs. It was pretty common in the previous couple weeks. This time, though, someone came in and started screaming.
"YOU'RE HAVING SEX IN MYYYYY BED?!"
Turns out the daughter had been skipping school and coming back to the apartment with her boyfriend. They were the ones having sex in the mom's bed. The fight that ensued should've earned both women awards. BluestLantern85
The Fragile Ones.
My ex-neighbors never let their kids leave the house, and preferred to raise bubble children. The older son (12 or 13) was pitifully fragile. One day I heard him crying because he pooped on his own hands. WagonJ3
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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