If the walls are thin... all information is fair game. The secrets that are exposed, the lies uncovered, the heartache, the joy..... heck, things we can listen from our neighbor's lives can be better than any telenovela. So many buildings are built so paper thin (thank you slumlords of NYC) that listening is unavoidable. And Lord do the neighbors have issues.
Redditor u/EskildDood wanted to hear what secrets have been overheard by "accident" by asking.... Redditors with thin walls, what have you heard in your apartment?
Vroom. Vroom.
I can hear when my neighbors vacuum. Our building tends to vacuum together as a result. I hear my upstairs neighbor and go "oh hey i should vacuum haven't done that in awhile and its already noisy." Then my downstairs neighbor and my left hand neighbor start vacuuming. It's kinda hilarious. My right hand neighbor doesn't vacuum with us but does sing opera while doing dishes. SurvivingJupiter
2 A.M.
Years ago I had an upstairs neighbor. At 2am, every night, I would hear something sprint across the entire apartment. I realized three things, it was very fast, it took small strides, and it never deviated from its path. One day, I saw my neighbor outside and I said, "I don't know how you have energy at 2am?" He responded with, "Dude, I've been working the midnight to 8am shift for 15 years. Doesn't bother me at all."
That night, I watched him leave his house, drive off, and waited two hours. At exactly 2am, I heard what sounded like two feet hit the floor in his bedroom, and the marathon started.
A few weeks later, I see him outside. I tell him what I hear at night and he says, "That's strange, no one has my keys, it's just me and my rabbit up there." MancetheLance
For Good Measure.
I once heard a former roommate laughing with his then girlfriend about how they're screwing me over on money. Turned out they were taking my utility portion and buying various games and alcohol.
Instead of confronting them, I confirmed what they said with the utilities company (they hadn't paid the bill is 2 months) and I moved all my stuff out that day while they were at work. For good measure, I took myself off the lease and told them about the GF that had been there 6 months. Azurko
TWICE?!?! Miracles.
I've heard and felt the neighbors upstairs having sex.
And apparently they like to rearrange the furniture at least twice a week. 3720-To-One
The Phantom.
I actually manage an apartment complex where my office is surrounded by a one bedroom unit. The building is old and the walls are thin. The tenant that used to live in the unit was a quiet man but would frequently sing beautiful opera music. His voice was amazing and I loved it every time I heard him sing!
Then one time I saw him in the halls and made the mistake of asking if he was the one who sang these beautiful opera songs. His face turned red but he confirmed that it was him. I told him that I always enjoyed it when I heard him sing and that it would always brighten my day.
Never should have said anything because I never heard him sing again. _Funke_
Damn it Jessica!
I once heard an argument that went a little like this:
"Stop treating me like I'm stupid!"
"You asked if Seahorses were mammals, Jessica!"
"THEY GIVE LIVE BIRTH." ApplepieButterfly
Ummm... 911?
My upstairs neighbors taking turns zapping each other with a stun gun, hitting the floor, groaning in pain, and then laughing like Beavis and Butthead.. yesnogoodbye
Secrets.
Heard the couple next door arguing. The wife was furious because she realized he had been cheating on her after she found out she had chlamydia. He tried to convince her that she must have been the unfaithful one. She still lives there. He doesn't. thedesertnomad
Second Floor....
I lived on the second of three floors. Below me, there was a couple who scheduled their fights for Saturday night. You could hear the female absolutely berating the male, saying how he looked at another girl while they were out or something like that, and he would do nothing but resignedly respond in a monotone voice. I couldn't hear his side- it was very much like the teacher in Charlie Brown. Then, the morning after, without fail, they would have crazy loud makeup sex.
Above me was a drummer. Now I wouldn't mind it, except he practiced early and late, and never really got any better. It was painful. Luckily he was kicked out, and the punching bag guy took his place! At least he kept a consistent beat... Even when it shook my entire apartment. Astrea23
The Stairwell.....
In college, I lived in a crappy apartment nearby the school, that was mostly populated by students. Halfway to class one day, I realized I forgot a book and had to rush back to my apartment to get it. As I was running up the stairs (which shared a wall with the stairs in the next door apartment, which mirrored my own) I could have sworn I heard someone yelling. I ignored it and ran to my room to grab my book.
As I clambered downstairs, again I heard yelling, and I paused to listen. I heard some unintelligible moaning, and eventually heard the words "help me," weakly groaned from the stairs next door. I rushed out and tried their door, but it was locked. I totally forgot about my class and ran to the apartment management office, hoping that someone was there. A manager was, thank goodness, and after I explained the situation, she grabbed her master keys and we booked it back to my neighbor's place.
She opened the door and the poor guy was laying in the stairwell (it was one of the ones that goes up halfway to the second floor, then turns 90 degrees for the rest of the way), clearly having fallen. I called 911 while the manager ran over to the guy. Ambulance came and picked him up, and I later learned that he had fallen down the stairs after passing into a brief diabetic coma.
I guess he hadn't eaten in some time; I don't know too much about how diabetes works. Anyhow, to this day, I feel grateful that I forgot that book. That poor guy could have died, slumped halfway down the stairs with his face in the carpet. thatdanglion
Tiny Furniture?
My upstairs neighbors used to do the furniture moving thing. We both had studio apartments and it was a huge mystery to me how they could move what sounded like a warehouse full of furniture for an hour in such a tiny place. york100
Daddy....
My downstairs neighbors are a couple with a one year old boy. The babies room is right under mine. They speak so sweetly to him I'm not even mad that I can hear them so clearly.
One morning the dad went in to get the baby out of bed and I hear him go "can you say daddy? Can you say daddy?" And in the tiniest little voice I heard "daddy." My heart melted. Kaaitlynnx
The Mystery....
In our old apartment our upstairs neighbor had extremely loud, theatrically enthusiastic sex in the middle of the day. The puzzle was that he would stop in the middle and we'd hear him walk to where the bathroom is, stay there for a minute or two and then walk back and resume in the bedroom. It was the same pattern every time. We could never figure out what that was all about. Any ideas welcomed. excelsior1907
Mozart!
An argument about money while I was doing the dishes. It ended with a slammed door and one of them on a piano, hitting the keys like a maniac. Some people read, some people go get something to eat, some people exercise... this fool relieves stress by going crazy on a piano. lol FultonHomes
On the Lamb....
I moved from far away, so I have a different state license plate than everyone else at the apartment complex. A couple of days ago I head my upstairs neighbor drunkenly ranting to his wife about what he thinks I'm up to. He's convinced that I'm on the run from something. I'm just in grad school lmao. greatergood2019
But Gina!!!
"Gina, I love you! Gina no! Gina, dammit put the knife down!!" At this point, both the apartments adjoining to Gina's called the police. Gina's husband decided to spend the night elsewhere. oldmuttsysadmin
Bullseye!
I lived next to a couple some years ago and they came home after a night out and started fighting about who was better at darts. I thought they were joking but it got pretty heated. Doors were slammed.
Edit: Since people are asking, they were playing darts at the bar earlier that night. From what I could tell they were playing as a team and the boyfriend wasn't pulling his weight and was super defensive about it (had an off night, allegedly). The girlfriend was mad he couldn't accept she was better. I'm no detective but think they had some relationship issues bigger than darts. Aromatic_Bird
Alarmed!
More what my neighbor heard... I'm a deep sleeper and was an even deeper sleeper as a teenager. My phone alarm was going off for 30 minutes and my neighbors could hear it through the walls, assumed it was a burglar alarm and called the police. Waking up to the police banging on my door was confusing. iMac_Hunt
mundian to bach ke.....
- lots of sex
- my presumably constipated neighbor trying to poop, aka 5 min of grunting and heavy breathing
- someone snoring like what I can only describe as a diesel truck revving its engine
- a little girl practicing playing what I think was a violin every night for a while
- someone blasting middle eastern music. I shazamed it and the song is called "mundian to bach ke"
- what sounded like a woman forcing herself to puke, with lots of crying. IDK if she had food poisoning, or was bulimic or what. sam_the_shinobi
5 Doors Down.
My University accommodation had paper thin walls, you could hear people having sex 5 doors down, and I could hear my friends music from even further away. SashaPrykhodko
"Yeah I know."
I heard the couple that used to live next door go through divorce. Their yelling got progressively worse until I realized that their relationship really wasn't healthy. Once she mentioned that they had split up and that she was moving I was like "Yeah I know." Anorcrakna
Things that go Bang!
The way my old apartments were laid out, the neighbors bedroom was right next to my kitchen / dining room. One night, I hear them banging (thin walls are thinner when the bed is hitting the wall) while I was fixing dinner. I just turned up the music and continued on with my life. Two hours later, I was cleaning up, doing dishes, and generally tidying up when I heard the familiar thump thump thump of banging.
I think, good for them and bag up the trash to take out. Thump thump thump. I open the door and take my bag of trash outside. As I'm walking out, I see the male half of my thumping neighbors.... walking in from his car.
Walking back from the dumpster, I see a half naked dude running out of the neighbors apartment. They moved shortly after that. Cypher_Shadow
"first of all."
Couple upstairs would argue frequently. One particular evening, they had an epic battle. It was hours long.
About 2 hours into the argument (11 pm on a weeknight) we heard the woman shout "first of all."
That was the moment we knew sleeping wouldn't be restful that night. EE327
Adele! That is all!
My male neighbor from India belting out hello by Adele at the top of his lungs. It was magical. kittenkin
Man, my old building was full of Chinese internationals and every so often i'd get a free concert of whatever Chinese music is popular, Jessie J. and Taylor Swift. It's truly beautiful. foursevenniner
Disconnect.
I could hear my neighbor fart and when her phone went off on vibrate. It was like having roommates I couldn't see. overmyhead5
Oh, I thought they were connected. Every time her phone went off, she farted. TalisFletcher
"Bless you!"
Someone sneezed.
We said bless you.
They laughed. KiltedLady
Are you my old neighbor?
First day in my apartment, I was sitting on my empty living room floor eating pizza. I sneezed and I heard the guy above me say, "Bless you!" He was my favorite neighbor after that. hey-there-reddit
"YOU'RE HAVING SEX IN MYYYYY BED?!"
Upstairs neighbors were a single mom and teenage daughter. They were very loud. The mom's room was above my room. One day I had off and was woken up by sex upstairs. It was pretty common in the previous couple weeks. This time, though, someone came in and started screaming.
"YOU'RE HAVING SEX IN MYYYYY BED?!"
Turns out the daughter had been skipping school and coming back to the apartment with her boyfriend. They were the ones having sex in the mom's bed. The fight that ensued should've earned both women awards. BluestLantern85
The Fragile Ones.
My ex-neighbors never let their kids leave the house, and preferred to raise bubble children. The older son (12 or 13) was pitifully fragile. One day I heard him crying because he pooped on his own hands. WagonJ3
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
Don't ask...
A Late Run
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
TopOcelot13
Beefed
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
TheRockMan31
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
livesarah
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
apocalypticradish
Yummy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
Nobody_Wins_13
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
Rhalellan
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
tikkichik21
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
Brendanlendan
Go
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
Caramel_Cappucino
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
L8NiGHTFLiGHT
second time...
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
olivinemultichrome
Gross
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
barontayto
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"

These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.