Ewww....

Her ex told us about all the great things she did in bed and what a loss for mankind that is. In presence of her boyfriend.

Schmackerich

If you need Dwight, don't call...

He handed out his business cards at his stepdaughter's funeral. There was very nearly a fistfight!

Jenny010137

Dwight: Good morning. Dwight Schrute. Thank you all for your prayers and your remembrances. Like Justin and his disfigurement, I too have had a horrible year. They say that the middle class is disappearing, and with it, the soul of America. So, as a gift to this beautiful congregation, I would like to offer a 4% discount on all Dunder Mifflin Sabre products if you buy a printer at full price.

KlausStrauss

Family Drama

The gentleman had a large family and all of his siblings got up and made it all about themselves, dredged up old family drama, made it clear that they resented his wife, etc. It was so painfully awkward.

Abbreviations-Odd

This was my biggest fear at my father-in-law's funeral. My mother-in-law is incapable of not making everything about herself. They got divorced about ten years ago, so I spent the whole time holding my breath. For the most part she wasn't as bad as I feared. Any time someone told a story, she'd have to find a way to make it about her, but she didn't trash him the way she typically does, so I was relieved. I hope I'm able to be as kind at her funeral.

porscheblack

The Will Matters

My uncle was pissed about something in my grandmother's Will. So during the funeral, he went out to the parking lot and keyed everyone's car. It should be noted, he has severe brain injury from a motorcycle accident that causes him to be constantly angry and paranoid. Still....

PancakeExprationDate

Skipping Over....

No where near as bad as most comments but the family didn't allow for his twin to speak.

Straight up skipped over the allocated time for the living twin to get up and speak about his brother. Who was his last remaining immediate family.

I don't think I can ever forgive the late wife for putting him through that. She treated him so horribly all throughout the sickness, and then to not allow him to be a part of the funeral was the final nail in the coffin.

teuthexx

Reservations

A few years back, when the uncle of my mother died my young cousin (8) cried a lot at the funeral. It took some time but eventually he calmed down and his parents went for a little walk with him for some distraction.

But then he noticed that his first name was written on one of the tombstones. He mentions it loudly and one of the bystanders said: ''Yeah its already reserved for you''.

He immediately started crying again....

firedexo

Unbelievable. 

Not a funeral but when my grandad passed and we went to view his body at the crematorium my aunt started stealing from the facility the second the employees back was turned. Just shoving anything that wasn't nailed down into her purse and pockets. Unbelievable. And yes we called her out and made her put it all back.

Korsola

Evil Nan....

My nan told my dad at his own father's funeral that her pain was much greater because she had lost a husband, while he had only lost his dad. As if grief is a competition.

She is a crappy person anyway, and not even blood related to us so we just kinda don't associate anymore.

lanidvah

"Life is Grand."

My Mother in Law took a photo of a wine glass during the lunch we had after, and she posted it on Facebook. Guess what her caption was?

"Life is Grand."

It was my mother's funeral. And when she was asked to take it down she couldn't understand why. It's been two years since my mom passed, but that memory still sticks with me.

kellywithayy

Gross Girls

My husband went to his great aunt's funeral and while they did the little ceremony in the cemetery, great aunt's granddaughters were all hiding behind a tombstone giggling and doing drugs.

Edit: Guys her grandkids were like 17-23.

Reddit

I kinda lost it.   

I had a fit of hysterical laugh at my father's funeral just about the time people started to gather at the mortuary.

In my defense, my mother had a nervous breakdown (my father died 4 days after we found out he had lung cancer), there was a lot of crappy stuff surrounding the funeral organization, my mom just flipped, my siblings were 15 and lost so I was at 23 left to handle it all.

I kinda lost it.

MsLibraryOwl

Nun of that....

My brother in law is a mortician. Boy does he have stories....

One of the best- A guy disguised himself as a nun, shows up at the funeral, pulls a gun from under his habit and tries to shoot the deceased's son. Luckily the gun malfunctioned and didn't fire. The son then decks the nun and knocks him out, kicks him in the head a few times, and is pulled off by other family. Police are called, yada yada yada... turns out the deceased owed the nun quite a lot of money and the son had refused to honor the debt.

02K30C1

You're Out

One of my students' mother died. I went to the funeral with the principal and the student's integration aide. After the funeral her father walked up to her and her grandmother and said "I want her out of the house by tomorrow morning". She was 11 years old.

MrsAlwaysWrighty

"Good night, grandpa"

I knew a guy who climbed up into the casket with his grandfather. This one's sweet and wholesome.

He was around four years old. He wasn't sure what was going on, and people weren't giving him much attention. He asked someone what his grandfather was doing in a box at the front of the room. A relative, thinking they were explaining death in an age appropriate way, told him that grandpa went to sleep, and won't wake up again. So we went up to the casket, and climbed up. The room froze in shock. Then he said, "Good night, grandpa," and he kissed him. Adults told him later you could hear a pin drop and there wasn't a dry eye in the room.

Beorbin

for financial gain....

My sister murdered her father (my stepfather... at the time we didn't know she was guilty)

BTW Just so you know she did this purely for financial gain.

During the viewing she drug her little boy to the casket and because he didn't cry enough to suit her she pinched him on the upper arm until he was sobbing then took him around to everyone saying he was really crying because he loved his Gramps so much.

smilingonion

Where's the Menu?!

At my grandfather's funeral one of the choir members essentially threw a tantrum and ended up interrupting one of my uncles who was giving a speech just because she wasn't given any food. The thing is there wasn't any food at the funeral to begin with.

forged_inferno

Hush Please!

My Gran's sister died recently and they were holding a service at my aunt's house before the burial. My Gran, closing in on 90, deaf as a post and suffering from vascular dementia, lost patience with the Celebrant as she was about half way through the reading and loudly announces "Oh, will she no just bloody shut up?!" at the top of her voice. My poor mum was completely mortified, although the rest of the family was very understanding. Luckily, no one returned the "favor" at my Gran's service the following year!

ShadyElmm

Say "Cheese?"

My minister once told a story. He was waiting in a room off the sanctuary before the funeral when he heard scuffling noises. When he went to investigate, the brother and sister of the deceased had pulled the body out of the casket and propped it between them. They explained that they didn't have a recent photo of the three of them and were delighted he showed up to take the picture.

Waiola

Off the Cliff

My uncle was cremated. He lived across from a lake and it was decided that we wanted his ashes spread on this little island on this lake. I was tasked with swimming with the urn from the boat to the island, holding it out of the water. I then stood at the edge of a small cliff with my nephew's beside me and all the family watching in the boat. I opened the urn to dump his ashes over the cliff. We all say a few things, and as I go to dump the ashes, the wind picks up and blows the ashes all over my wet body. One of the worst things that ever happened to me.

PsychologicalTaste14

Endless Blabber

After the eulogist had talked for 45 minutes, the pastor went over to the lectern and politely asked him to conclude his eulogy.

The guy boldly told the pastor, "I'll stop when I'm damn good and ready!" (and proceeded talking for about 20 more minutes.)

The total funeral church service lasted for 2 3/4 hours - it seemed endless.

Back2Bach