Wikipedia Commons: Alex E. Proimos
We've all had those "face palm" moments, where you can't believe what someone just said or what what you just said. Sometimes, they even reach, "Why the hell did I say that?" levels of awkwardness. Reddit user, AyBake, posed the following question and got a multitude of responses:
"What was the worst "why the f*** did I say that" moment?"
So, SO Hard
Teacher asked me working hard or hardly working?. I had a brain fart and said Im hard. One of my friends heard me say it, Ill never live it down. Excal1pr
Honestly, We Would Have Simply Screamed
My wife walked in on a burglar in our living room earlier this month (she's fine, he ran away and didn't get anything or hurt anyone). When she saw him there she screamed "F***ing excuse me!"
For days after the event she's been like "Why was I polite???" Circleseven
*Sound Effect!
In 5th grade we were at an assembly where they told a story and would hold up cards for the audience to yell. When they held the card that said "GASP" everyone gasped while I screamed the word gasp as loud as I have ever screamed anything in my life. larksideoftheloon
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At Least They Still Got Married
My then future mother-in-law asked me how I like my steak at one of my first sit down dinners with my then fiancs family.
I said: If it bleeds, Ill eat it. And then I... winked. God dammit. simple_polejam
Punk-tuality Is Key
I was interviewing for my first job, I was probably 15-16 and nervous as hell. It was a job bussing tables and washing dishes at the golf club/catering area.
During the interview, the interviewer asked, "are you punctual?" I replied with, "I think you can tell from my appearance that I'm not punk at all, and I don't really like that kind of music."
Next question, "are you frequently on time to appointments?" And I answered normally, thinking it was just the next question... rhcpbassist234
The Lesson? Honesty Is Not Always Best
At my first interview for a large retail store I responded to the "what's your biggest weakness? " question with (in a slight fake southern drawl, for some god forsaken reason) "I'm not really, what you call, a people person"
Needless to say, I didn't get the job. Hidden_Samsquanche
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Less Friends = Less Problems
Was at the liquor store a while back, making small talk with the cashier during checkout. Dude is telling me about how one of his friends got hit by a car down the street a few nights ago - no major injuries were sustained, but they still got hospitalized and freaked everyone out. My response? "Haha dang, well maybe you should have less friends!" My ears started burning immediately and he kind of lets his voice trail off while finishing up the transaction. I later called the place, asked to speak to him, and apologized profusely for saying such a stupid thing. He was laughing about it, thankfully, but agreed that it was out of left field and that he had no idea how to respond. Good times. aman1420
Maybe Just Say, "Thank You, Come Again!"
I am a waiter. I try to hold the door open for every guest I wait on as they leave. One time I was holding the door for 3 women I had just waited on. One being an elderly lady, and using a walker. As she is waking towards me she says, "Thank you honey for getting me so full, and being so good to me." Before I tell you my response I will try and justify it by saying if you work in customer service you know we have a mental catalog of phrases we use in certain situations. Well, I turned to the wrong page and said, " No problem ma'am. So full you can barely walk, huh?" All 3 women looked at me in disgust. The elderly lady's walk got much faster as one hugged her in consolation. The other lady, I'm assuming her daughter, said to me, " She is 89 years old thank you. We are very proud of her." I began to try and explain myself, but she wasn't having it and walks away. Bam_Bam_Boone
What A...Cute? Baby?
My wife and I were having dinner with her boss (B) and B's husband and new baby. The baby had a loose pocket of skin on her head. My wife had mentioned it before, so I was aware but not really thinking about it. I couldn't see it at the angle that the baby was being held at.
[Boss] moved the baby to hold her with the other arm, and I saw it move. It was like a large, fleshy blister. It covered half of the back of her head and was partially full of fluid. As the baby was moved, it sloshed.
I quietly exclaimed, "That baby needs a hat!" [Boss] shot daggers out of her eyes at me while her husband suppressed a laugh. Nesman64
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Oohhhhhh...
I once started laughing at a sweet little girl pretending to be a horse.
She was not pretending to be a horse. She had a severe spinal deformity. FogInTheDog
Sometimes All You Can Do Is Walk Away
I was a math tutor for grade school kids at a franchise place. One day a middle school aged girl came in several hours after the time she usually does (we didn't do appointments, the kids usually followed routines though). So I asked why she was coming in later than usual just making small talk and she said she went to her grandmother's funeral that morning. So I said, "Well, at least that's better than doing math on a Saturday!" trying to joke around. She kind of sheepishly faked a smile and I immediately realized I'm a f***ing idiot and walked away instead of apologizing. I just didn't speak to her again for a while. Because I'm an idiot. IHadACatOnce
Of All The Things...
An ex was explaining she was self-conscious about something, and it was slightly odd, and I intended to say something reassuring and comforting. What I actually said was, "That's strange, of all the things you could be self conscious about." Her face dropped and I realized immediately what I said and unsuccessfully tried to backtrack. phantastic_meh
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Linda, Linda, Linda!
On the morning of my wedding, the third time I'd met my soon to be mother in law, I was understandably jittery about the day. Probably not at the top of my game.
So, I warmly greeted her by saying "Hi Linda! It's so good to see you!" She's quiet for a moment, and then says "Actually, it's Laura." I knew it was Laura. I have no clue why I called her Linda. I was mortified, and felt like I had only one way out of the situation. I replied after a pause, "No.. I'm pretty sure it's Linda.".
To her credit, and to this day, whenever she calls me she tells me it's Linda, and I've never called her anything but that since. hughnibley
They Might Have Great Sales, Though?
I once complimented a girl I know on her cute outfit and asked where she got it. She named a plus size store. For whatever stupid reason I replied, "Really? I need to gain a bunch of weight so I can shop there!" I immediately realized what I had said, and we looked at each other for a moment, looked away, and sat in uncomfortable silence for the rest of class because I'm a jerk. phinnaeusmaximus
A Yes Is A Yes
I've told this before but I'll never forget it.
I took my girlfriend to a very beautiful park and served her a gourmet picnic. After we were finished I nervously took her hand in mine and asked her to marry me. I mumbled, or her ears failed, or I don't know what but she replied with "Sure, whatever" obviously missing what I had said. In my mind I thought "Andrew, you idiot. You screwed this up." But out of my mouth came the words "No, you idiot. I'm proposing."
Yes. I called my wife an idiot as part of my marriage proposal. After that I kind of blanked out until I saw her crying and saying yes over and over again. Our 18th anniversary is coming up in the spring. andrewse
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Muy Problema
I've had so many in my life but one that sticks out ismy 7th grade teacher was telling us about her sisters wedding in Mexico it was the first day back from summer vacation.I raised my hand and waited for her to call on meI then asked if they had "Mucho Sexo"immediately kicked out of class.
Now here is the thing, on Letterman the night before a guest was telling him about his Mexican wedding and Letterman asked if they had "Mucho Sexo" and got huge laughs.
Not everyone watches Letterman, especially not my teacher. Quadrapolegic
Nothing Looks Good On You...Wait?
About seven years ago, trying to find an original way to compliment my gf, now wife, Told her You look good in nothing
Fast forward an hour later.
OH S***! No, I meant that you look good naked! DrStupid87
Um, Yeah, Got Nothing
At one point I was having lunch with my then girlfriend. I asked if she wanted to say hi to her friend. She said she didn't see her. I pointed to her and asked, "Do you not recognise her bent over?" To which she responded "Do you?" cmndrloki
A Wife's Sympathy
Not me, but my husband.
He was out drinking with his friends, a girl comes up to him asking if he wants to dance. What he means to say is "I only dance when I'm drunk, and I'm still sober", but what he actually said was "I'm not drunk enough to dance with you".
I wasn't even there and I can feel that poor girl's self esteem drop every time he tells the story. LizGlob
Um, Yeah, Got Nothing
At one point I was having lunch with my then girlfriend. I asked if she wanted to say hi to her friend. She said she didn't see her. I pointed to her and asked, "Do you not recognise her bent over?" To which she responded "Do you?" cmndrloki
A Wife's Sympathy
Not me, but my husband.
He was out drinking with his friends, a girl comes up to him asking if he wants to dance. What he means to say is "I only dance when I'm drunk, and I'm still sober", but what he actually said was "I'm not drunk enough to dance with you".
I wasn't even there and I can feel that poor girl's self esteem drop every time he tells the story. LizGlob
Do Who?
I was in spanish class (I suck at spanish). We were going around the room saying what we were going to do after school and then saying who we wanted to speak next. Im a dude and I was sitting next to my friend (f) Ill call her hanna.
My plan was to say I was going to do homework and then say hanna so shed go next, but I forgot the homework part and just said in Spanish, after school Im going to do hanna. The whole class started laughing(including the teacher). I wanted to die. mb171
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Sometimes, Honesty Works
Job interview was quasi "good cop/bad cop" I guess you could say. First interviewer came out with some pretty tough questions and I was already a nervous wreck for the interview, as I had applied for something well above what I was qualified for and got the right person's attention.
I. F***ing. Bombed. I felt like a total idiot for even thinking I had a shot.
Interviewer #2 comes out and I just blurt out "Boy, did I f*** THAT up!"
He has a good laugh about it with me, we bulls*** around for 20 or 30 minutes and I started the next week. Still not sure how or why. kylew1985
What? What??
Co-worker's 8.5 month pregnant wife was strolling into the office when my 19 year old mouth said "You're almost as big as your husband". Thought nothing of it until an hour later when my co-worker and I had a chat about hormones. ih8hdmi
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Absolutely...
My friend was talking to me about some random stuff while she was getting changed, and I wasn't really paying attention. My replies were mainly yeahs and nos. I heard her ask me something (but I had no idea what), so I just smiled at her and said 'absolutely' and hoped for the best. Turned out she asked me if she looked fat. facesosunny
Don't Ever Stop
I was just at a wake three weeks ago for my aunt. I flew across the country on the red eye to make it, and I was in understandably rough mental shape because of all of that. I was talking to some family friends, and I said "I'm so tired, I feel like I could die." Upon realizing I said that, I then said "I'm mortified." Upon realizing I said that, I just said "I can't stop why can't I stop" until the folks I was talking to took over, said some nice things, and cheered me up. Bearstronauts
Absolutely...
My friend was talking to me about some random stuff while she was getting changed, and I wasn't really paying attention. My replies were mainly yeahs and nos. I heard her ask me something (but I had no idea what), so I just smiled at her and said 'absolutely' and hoped for the best. Turned out she asked me if she looked fat. facesosunny
Don't Ever Stop
I was just at a wake three weeks ago for my aunt. I flew across the country on the red eye to make it, and I was in understandably rough mental shape because of all of that. I was talking to some family friends, and I said "I'm so tired, I feel like I could die." Upon realizing I said that, I then said "I'm mortified." Upon realizing I said that, I just said "I can't stop why can't I stop" until the folks I was talking to took over, said some nice things, and cheered me up. Bearstronauts
You Look Like A Blueberry!
Back in high school, my sorta-girlfriend (we'd been dating for maybe 2 months) invited me over to her house to hang out at their pool and with her family. I went.
The dad was very intensely Baptist (of the common sort in the South) and, on my first date with his daughter, had asked me to explain why I deserved to go to Heaven. But I sort of got along with them, because I'm generally good at getting along with most of anyone, so I was having a good time that day.
Girlfriend, her parents, and I started playing some board game together. There was some friendly banter and smack talk going on. Gf and I had watched Anchorman a few days earlier, I'm pretty sure, so I started repeating some of the quotes from what movie back at her for the banter. I knew it was a little risky since the parents didn't let anyone watch anything that wasn't A Walk to Remember or "Seventh Heaven," but whatever, there was enough background noise where I got away with it a few times.
But then came one of those moments where all background and conversation noise ceases, which coincided with my telling my girlfriend to, "Go back to your home on Whore Island."
I muttered a thing or 2 about "being from a movie we watched" which barely helped anything since they definitely saw me as corrupting their good Christian girl from there on out. sertorius42
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And, The Best Of The Worst...
Company thanksgiving dinner. Siting next to a group of women complaining about their exes. One of them said something along the lines of, "He's still got his hand and a bottle of lube so he'll be happy."
I replied with "To be honest, we don't even need lube most of the time."
Right as everyone in the whole room stopped talking for some reason... aydeos
H/T: Reddit
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.