People Share Their Favorite Insults
Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Sure, people want to make nice, but sometimes...

Some people you encounter are just begging for a pithy bon mot.

And most of us have a favorite.


Redditor ILikeToHang asked:

"What is your favorite insult?"

Thank You?

"You are impossible to underestimate." ~ dcbluestar

"My dumb a** would say thank you genuinely if someone actually said this to me." ~ GhettoCowboyNumba1

Giphy

Use Their Own Insecurities

"Wow, everybody was right about you."

"(let their deepest insecurities take hold)" ~ tknice

"Or a tad twist: 'You're not as bad as people say you are'." ~ g3ttinj1ggyw1t1t

"I don't care what people say about you. You're pretty smart." ~ csharpminor_fanclub

The Parents

"I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you." ~ WatchTheBoom

"This one hurts even more if you say 'change the subject to your brother/sister'." ~ dudesBangMyMom

"I bet your girlfriend refers to you as her 'friend' in front of other people'." ~ DrDopenheimer

Giphy

Sharp As A Tack

“'Slower than a parked car' takes me down every time." ~ StaleBlueBread

"'About as sharp as a ball bearing' is one of my favourites." ~ Peedee04

"Your train of thought never left the station, did it." ~ obscureferences

Your Mother

"I was in a bar and an older fellow got into some banter with a younger guy."

"I forget what was said, but it prompted the younger guy to say 'You're old enough to be my dad'."

"Without skipping a beat the older man said, 'Got a picture of your mom?'" ~ Doghead45

Mothers Day Mom GIF Giphy

Food

"I’ve seen some people referred to as no purpose flour and that’s pretty high up on my list now." ~ thepantryraid_

"If she were a spice, she’d be flour!" ~ peepumsn4stygum

Family

"If you were any more inbred you’d be a sandwich." ~ AvatarOfSloth

"Too much chlorine in the old gene pool, eh?" ~ Amishcannoli

"Gene pool? More like a gene puddle." ~ naut

"Your family tree is a rectangle." ~ TheLavaFall

"Your family tree is a Christmas wreath." ~ The-Unseelie-Queen

"You look like the kind of guy who's related to himself..." ~ PaniqueAttaque

Giphy

Mouth

"God ruined a perfectly good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth." ~ Fate-StayFullMetal

"Last time I saw a mouth that big, it had a hook in it." ~ Slight_Story_8463

Burn

"I'd call you a tool but then you would be useful." ~ AngryApparition029

"I didn't study astronomy, but I know enough to realize the Universe doesn't revolve around anyone in this conversation." ~ LakotaGrl Giphy

Stone Cold

"This one came from my little brother."

"He was mad at my mom and told her something so creative I'll never forget it."

"'When I grow up and you get older, and you call me, I'm not going to answer the phone'." ~ cakeman528

So, did you find anything you can use or do you have something better.

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