There are moments in our lives where we think something is a REALLY good idea. In these moments, you feel like you have it all together, and that your plan is foolproof. Unfortunately, when reality hits, you quickly realize that your idea was actually really freaking stupid. Just listen to these Redditors, as they tell you the stories of how their genius plans went to sh*t.
u/Persondynamo2222 asked: What is your best "Well that backfired." story?
Ouch!
When I was a kid at summer camp, I once attached some skyrockets to one of those balsa wood gliders. I tossed it out toward the lake after lighting the rockets and it flew normally for a few seconds until the rockets kicked in. It shot straight up, looped over our heads, and landed right on one of the councilors.
No bug juice for me that night.
It literally backfired.
Giphy
Decided to burn some newspaper outside in a toilet I had just replaced, because I didn't want risking the grass catching on fire.
Well, heat caused toilet to explode, sending burning newspaper everywhere.
Grass caught on fire.
So much for taking the high road.
Trying to shake hands with my bully, thinking this would diffuse the situation. Got punched in the throat.
And while I don't advocate it, this is why people assault their bullies in the middle of lunch by slamming a bunch bunch of books behind their head into the table.
Not such a smart idea.
In my first apartment I had a bag vacuum (as opposed to a canister vacuum), and the bag was full. I had no replacement bags, so I used painter's tape to attach a Walmart bag. I thought I was frugal genius, and patted myself on the back as I switched it on.
Didn't work at all. Almost immediately the bag blew right off, and a bunch of dirt blew all over the place... all the dirt that was stuck in the vacuum since the previous bag was full.
Ow, right in the feels.
Giphy
Had friends at a lunch table who always made fun of this girl who sat by herself. I invited her to our table one day because I felt bad for her.
Yup, you can see where this is going.
She immediately and 100% replaced me, and they all realized it was even more awesome to make fun of me. Jokes on them, I got to eat lunch with my civics teacher after that.
So it goes.
Hired for a position I was overqualified for.
Over performed.
Asked for a promotion.
Fired.
Was probably the right decision.
A girl I knew dated a guy I was also friends with. Really sweet, doting guy, not the best looking, but a really lovely lad. I went on a night out with his girlfriend, my partner at the time and his friend Jay. We drank and danced etc and at the end of the night, my friend and Jay were kissing.
We spoke the next day and she swore it was a one-off but ended up meeting him twice after that so I told her if she didn't tell her partner, I would as he was my friend too and didn't deserve it. In the end I told him and he thanked me. Then she spoke to him, cried a river and managed to talk him round into forgiving her and falling out with me.
Been a few years since and neither one spoke to me since. They're still together but I don't know how he can trust her.
A bad flight.
Giphy
Sitting on an airplane doing a crossword puzzle. My pen stopped writing, so I snapped it up and down a couple of times. Ahhhh, pen works again.
Guy beside me starts freaking out and yelling for the stewardess. I look over at him and see a thin line of black ink running from the left shoulder of his crisp, starched white shirt to the right hip of his pants.
I pretended like I had been asleep, and he blamed some random kid across the aisle.
The airline gave him a voucher or something to pay for the dry cleaning.
Poor dad.
I was skiing with my dad on high slope on a windy day. It was slippery and I fell. Unable to stop, I descended about 100 meters on my butt before stopping. I was still a little shocked trying to stand up when my dad stopped right before me to mock me.
But it's still slippy and he fell. And he descended 100 meters on his behind before stopping.
It was hilarious.
That's just an accident waiting to happen.
This actually happened to my teacher, she entered an axe throwing competition and while winding up before throwing, it was behind her head. When she threw it she hit the back of her head with the handle. She knocked herself out and the blade of the axe almost sliced her head.
They clearly weren't thinking.
Giphy
When I was a kid, I wanted to use our little bush outside as a slingshot. I put a pretty big rock on the end of the tall shrub, pulled it back, and let go.
I didn't see it go forward, it went up instead. I decided to run a few feet backwards to get out of the way. It landed directly on top of my head.
Don't play with fire.
This is why kids shouldn't play with fire. I was 7ish, living in a duplex community at the end of a cul de sac. One side was empty lots that boarded a canyon there was a huge pepper tree all the neighbor kids liked to hang under. One day a couch appeared, the couch pretty quickly got silly and moldy even in the summer it was cooler and damp under the tree which is the main reason we liked it. I quickly got the idea to burn the couch. Little fire couch is gone shade spot is back to it's cool calm glory.
Now this was early 80's so that couch was from the 70's maybe the 60's. The cushion foam, actually solid state rocket fuel. The moment we set the corner of one cushion on fire it was out of control. Flipping it over to smoother it just gave it access to the cotton batting. That couch went up in seconds, and all the leaves and old dead pepper corns during and popping. The fire spread to the tree, the field it was in bone dry.
We barely got down into the canyon before getting engulfed. The fire spread to the entire empty lot, spread to almost cashing a house down the way on fire. They got the canyon out before it got too far, they had to stop the trolly for a few hours. No copters but it was close.
Uhhhh....
I almost forgot, when I was a freshman in college I had a hard time befriending other girls. I decided the best approach would be to find out who every girl on my hall was attracted to and get very close to them. I thought the girls in my hall would be impressed and ask me to show them how to do the same or ask me to become their mentor.
That's not what happened. They hated me and did everything they could to put me down and isolate me. It does make more sense to me now though.
Bad kitty!
Giphy
One of my cats is afraid of the other one. The other is a viper cat. They were between my room and the hallway, and I tried to close the door to try to separate them.
Both cats leaped at each other and I was caught in the middle. Got one leg stretched like crazy and some were kind of deep.
Don't bite off more than you can chew.
1 month into a new job I volunteered to do a special project to impress my new boss. It turned out to be way more complicated than I thought it would be. 2 months later I had made 0 progress and was fired for not doing enough.
That same week my roommate moved out and I had to start paying his portion of the rent.
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
That 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.