There are moments in our lives where we think something is a REALLY good idea. In these moments, you feel like you have it all together, and that your plan is foolproof. Unfortunately, when reality hits, you quickly realize that your idea was actually really freaking stupid. Just listen to these Redditors, as they tell you the stories of how their genius plans went to sh*t.
u/Persondynamo2222 asked: What is your best "Well that backfired." story?
Ouch!
When I was a kid at summer camp, I once attached some skyrockets to one of those balsa wood gliders. I tossed it out toward the lake after lighting the rockets and it flew normally for a few seconds until the rockets kicked in. It shot straight up, looped over our heads, and landed right on one of the councilors.
No bug juice for me that night.
It literally backfired.
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Decided to burn some newspaper outside in a toilet I had just replaced, because I didn't want risking the grass catching on fire.
Well, heat caused toilet to explode, sending burning newspaper everywhere.
Grass caught on fire.
So much for taking the high road.
Trying to shake hands with my bully, thinking this would diffuse the situation. Got punched in the throat.
And while I don't advocate it, this is why people assault their bullies in the middle of lunch by slamming a bunch bunch of books behind their head into the table.
Not such a smart idea.
In my first apartment I had a bag vacuum (as opposed to a canister vacuum), and the bag was full. I had no replacement bags, so I used painter's tape to attach a Walmart bag. I thought I was frugal genius, and patted myself on the back as I switched it on.
Didn't work at all. Almost immediately the bag blew right off, and a bunch of dirt blew all over the place... all the dirt that was stuck in the vacuum since the previous bag was full.
Ow, right in the feels.
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Had friends at a lunch table who always made fun of this girl who sat by herself. I invited her to our table one day because I felt bad for her.
Yup, you can see where this is going.
She immediately and 100% replaced me, and they all realized it was even more awesome to make fun of me. Jokes on them, I got to eat lunch with my civics teacher after that.
So it goes.
Hired for a position I was overqualified for.
Over performed.
Asked for a promotion.
Fired.
Was probably the right decision.
A girl I knew dated a guy I was also friends with. Really sweet, doting guy, not the best looking, but a really lovely lad. I went on a night out with his girlfriend, my partner at the time and his friend Jay. We drank and danced etc and at the end of the night, my friend and Jay were kissing.
We spoke the next day and she swore it was a one-off but ended up meeting him twice after that so I told her if she didn't tell her partner, I would as he was my friend too and didn't deserve it. In the end I told him and he thanked me. Then she spoke to him, cried a river and managed to talk him round into forgiving her and falling out with me.
Been a few years since and neither one spoke to me since. They're still together but I don't know how he can trust her.
A bad flight.
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Sitting on an airplane doing a crossword puzzle. My pen stopped writing, so I snapped it up and down a couple of times. Ahhhh, pen works again.
Guy beside me starts freaking out and yelling for the stewardess. I look over at him and see a thin line of black ink running from the left shoulder of his crisp, starched white shirt to the right hip of his pants.
I pretended like I had been asleep, and he blamed some random kid across the aisle.
The airline gave him a voucher or something to pay for the dry cleaning.
Poor dad.
I was skiing with my dad on high slope on a windy day. It was slippery and I fell. Unable to stop, I descended about 100 meters on my butt before stopping. I was still a little shocked trying to stand up when my dad stopped right before me to mock me.
But it's still slippy and he fell. And he descended 100 meters on his behind before stopping.
It was hilarious.
That's just an accident waiting to happen.
This actually happened to my teacher, she entered an axe throwing competition and while winding up before throwing, it was behind her head. When she threw it she hit the back of her head with the handle. She knocked herself out and the blade of the axe almost sliced her head.
They clearly weren't thinking.
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When I was a kid, I wanted to use our little bush outside as a slingshot. I put a pretty big rock on the end of the tall shrub, pulled it back, and let go.
I didn't see it go forward, it went up instead. I decided to run a few feet backwards to get out of the way. It landed directly on top of my head.
Don't play with fire.
This is why kids shouldn't play with fire. I was 7ish, living in a duplex community at the end of a cul de sac. One side was empty lots that boarded a canyon there was a huge pepper tree all the neighbor kids liked to hang under. One day a couch appeared, the couch pretty quickly got silly and moldy even in the summer it was cooler and damp under the tree which is the main reason we liked it. I quickly got the idea to burn the couch. Little fire couch is gone shade spot is back to it's cool calm glory.
Now this was early 80's so that couch was from the 70's maybe the 60's. The cushion foam, actually solid state rocket fuel. The moment we set the corner of one cushion on fire it was out of control. Flipping it over to smoother it just gave it access to the cotton batting. That couch went up in seconds, and all the leaves and old dead pepper corns during and popping. The fire spread to the tree, the field it was in bone dry.
We barely got down into the canyon before getting engulfed. The fire spread to the entire empty lot, spread to almost cashing a house down the way on fire. They got the canyon out before it got too far, they had to stop the trolly for a few hours. No copters but it was close.
Uhhhh....
I almost forgot, when I was a freshman in college I had a hard time befriending other girls. I decided the best approach would be to find out who every girl on my hall was attracted to and get very close to them. I thought the girls in my hall would be impressed and ask me to show them how to do the same or ask me to become their mentor.
That's not what happened. They hated me and did everything they could to put me down and isolate me. It does make more sense to me now though.
Bad kitty!
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One of my cats is afraid of the other one. The other is a viper cat. They were between my room and the hallway, and I tried to close the door to try to separate them.
Both cats leaped at each other and I was caught in the middle. Got one leg stretched like crazy and some were kind of deep.
Don't bite off more than you can chew.
1 month into a new job I volunteered to do a special project to impress my new boss. It turned out to be way more complicated than I thought it would be. 2 months later I had made 0 progress and was fired for not doing enough.
That same week my roommate moved out and I had to start paying his portion of the rent.
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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