People Share The Most Cringe Worthy Wedding Toasts They've Sat Through[rebelmouse-image 18356954 is_animated_gif=
Weddings are about love, hope and the future. Witnessing true love begin it's journey to forever is a privilege. One of the best parts of the show... I mean experience is the speeches by loved ones. It can be a soap opera waiting to happen. A room full of family, friends, long kept secrets and... an open bar?! What could possibly go wrong?
Redditor danner33 _asked around __What's the worst thing you've heard a speaker at a wedding say? \Brace yourself!_
ELIZABETH? THAT'S PRETTY.
Mother of the groom called the wife 'Elizabeth' in her speech. Elizabeth wasn't her name. Elizabeth was the name of the groom's best friend who happened to be an attractive woman. more attractive than the wife. Elizabeth is who the mother wanted her son to marry. Elizabeth was there, too.
R.I.P....[rebelmouse-image 18356955 is_animated_gif=
The only thing the best man said was "Well, we're all here today for one reason, a good woman died. May she Rest In Peace." About the groom's late (first) wife, who passed away over 10 years ago.
HEY THERE LITTLE BUDDY![rebelmouse-image 18356956 is_animated_gif=
I got extremely smashed for my cousins wedding. When the guys came around with the camera, they filmed me and asked if I had anything to say to the bride or groom.
Well, my drunk butt starts going on about "I can't believe how much you've grown, I remember watching you grow up, and I'm so happy for you."
My cousin is 8 years older than me.
CAN YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?![rebelmouse-image 18346466 is_animated_gif=
The best man getting drunk and asking his current wife for a divorce into the microphone because "She just wont f*g leave me unless i make a big deal of it"
EAT SOME BREAD WITH THE OPEN BAR![rebelmouse-image 18979453 is_animated_gif=
Best man waddles up to podium, visibly too drunk. He opens up his folder with his speech in it. Opens his mouth to say his first words and projectile vomits directly over the podium. He says into the mic, "Whoops that's not what I meant to say." Groomsmen drag him off and away.
MIRROR, MIRROR ON GHE WALL....[rebelmouse-image 18979454 is_animated_gif=
Best man speech: "Back in high school when Bill first told me he liked Jackie I said Jackie!? Ewww! But that's how I knew Bill really liked her for who she was as a person ."
THIS IS ABOUT.... MEEEE!!!![rebelmouse-image 18345392 is_animated_gif=
I was part of the catering crew at a wedding. The ceremony was on the beach and the reception was in the resort. When the bride and groom came in the entire wait staff kind of dropped their jaws because these kids couldn't have been more than like 18-20 years old. Everyone was super young. When the father of the bride made his speech he went on and on about how his daughter always gets what she wants. She had this wedding at the beach and they were going to have a second wedding back home in Texas. Then he goes on to describe every extracurricular activity she ever did and quit. "Cheerleader for 6 months, then she took up dancing for a few weeks. She got really into sewing for a while but quit when she joined Girl Scouts, which she left to chase her dream of being a dog walker..."
Basically his whole speech was calling her a spoiled brat who doesn't stick with anything. So the groom probably felt awesome about that.
TELL IT LIKE IT IS![rebelmouse-image 18979455 is_animated_gif=
I was at a wedding where the grooms grandfather gave a speech. He stepped up to the mic and said, "(Groom), I hope you made the right choice." Then just walked off. Old people waste no time speaking their feelings. Everyone cracked up. The Bride was cool about it.
EVERYBODY... PRETEND YOU'VE GONE DEAF![rebelmouse-image 18979456 is_animated_gif=
Was at a friends wedding, one of my friends stands up to make a speech and it was pretty good until the last sentence when he said "who knows this could've been my wedding if I didn't mess things up with her" everyone was silent.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT![rebelmouse-image 18354524 is_animated_gif=
"We all know she's been down this road before" from the brides brother at her second wedding.
FINE, YOU WIN... FOR NOW.[rebelmouse-image 18979457 is_animated_gif=
My dad made a speech at my brother's wedding saying that if my brother didn't get to her first he would have married her. It was so awkward and so inappropriate.
THIS IS WHY YOU INVITE YOUR THERAPIST TO THE WEDDING.[rebelmouse-image 18979458 is_animated_gif=
My brother-in-law's dad gave a toast where he went on an on about how his son had flunked out of college bc he couldn't get his life together and was pretty much a loser until he met my sister.
Like, its great that you're happy my sister came into his life, but don't tell a room full of people that you think your son is a loser. Not cool, man
LET'S HOLD OFF ON THE BABY SHOWER.[rebelmouse-image 18979459 is_animated_gif=
"Well this wedding was nice and all, but I'm sure all the married couples here know it's not a real marriage until you start having children!"
The bride was infertile.
FAMILY DINNERS WILL BE "FUNNY"... TO SAY THE LEAST.[rebelmouse-image 18979460 is_animated_gif=
The groom was giving his speech, talking about the bride's father and how her father used to threaten to kill him with a shovel, he then proceed's to lift a gift wrapped shovel, and say 'so I bought you this as my gift to you' cue and angry voice from the family table yelling 'f' you! I'll kill you!'
PICK A NEUTRAL CORNER.[rebelmouse-image 18361943 is_animated_gif=
I didn't witness it myself but my father told me a story once of when he was at a wedding. The groom decided half way through the ceremony that he didn't want to get married. He was then attacked by the father and brother of the bride. After a brawl (and a few bloody noses) he changed his mind and they got married.
FLOWERS AREN'T FOREVER! JUST A FACT.[rebelmouse-image 18979461 is_animated_gif=
My father, at my wedding: "Marriage is like a bouquet of flowers. Over times, it withers and you have to change it."
- He wanted to say that you need to take care of the bouquet and , obviously, but he mis-remembered the quote from another wedding
- My wife and I are separating, so I guess he was right :D
WHAT'S IN A NAME?[rebelmouse-image 18979462 is_animated_gif=
The best man accidentally called the groom's wife by the groom's ex's name during his speech.
MAKE SURE YOUR PASTOR IS SOBER... ALWAYS.[rebelmouse-image 18979463 is_animated_gif=
My dad did this, but worse. He's ordained, so he can marry people. Well he married my sister and during the ceremony called the groom by my sisters ex-boyfriends name THREE times. Well eventually when that ex got out of jail my sister divorced her husband and went back to him. So, I guess my dad can kind of predict the future?
YOU BE YOU! PAST AND ALL![rebelmouse-image 18979464 is_animated_gif=
My buddy's best man distributed pictures of my buddy stark naked in a fountain in Spain, while telling the story about it and about how my buddy was subsequently arrested. My buddy's wife's extremely conservative family was not impressed.
Oh, the beginning of the interwebs.
Those were the days.
We definitely did not see what was to come.
Maybe it should've stayed simple.
We'll never know.
Computers rule the world now.
Let's see where we are in another twenty years.
RedditorEzucraAaAa wanted to wax nostalgic about the good old days of technology and its humble beginnings.
"Redditors, what's something the internet was crazy about but is now forgotten?"
I miss the simplicity of not having a thousand apps. I'm simple.
Ah Memories...the messengers aol GIFGiphy
"Search engines before Google existed. Alta Vista, Lycos, Web Crawler..."
"Downloading custom cursors for your computer. I gave my family computer so many viruses back in the '00s trying to click things with a lightsaber."
"Amazing. I had totally forgotten about all the virusy stuff I downloaded to my home computer, purely so the cursor would disappear and reappear. My parents had zero knowhow with computers either, so likely had no idea wtf I was downloading. Cursors were cool though, despite all the malware."
"During the early days of the web, when most websites weren't plastered with advertising... Website view counters."
"Back in the day of counters, one day I went to my website and the counter was in the thousands. I just thought it malfunctioned and ignored it. Years later I learned that my website, which had a MIDI collection, was published in a newspaper in another country. I couldn't say for sure if that was true and whether it aligned with the counter change."
"Yea the internet was simpler too, layout style I mean. I like old style HTML webpage layouts. I personally don’t like hyper modern logos and designs on interfaces. Something about old slightly pixelated designs about them home screens and app logos really made them satisfying. I’ve even went as far as seeing if I could install some extensions that could change the layout of sites, make them feel older, give them that 2000’s html look."
Found ItLooking The Loud House GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
"I used to waste so much time with stumble upon."
What a strange and crazy place the internet was.
notificationBaby Love GIF by LINE FRIENDSGiphy
"Poking on Facebook."
"I had a friend that poked me and I never noticed the notification. He died. I now have this unreturned poke as a reminder that I’ll never be able to poke them back."
"Many flash games are not dead. BEHOLD! The flashpoint project. They have saved thousands of the old flash games in a playable format. Go forth and relive your childhood Also paging u/The_Middler_is_Here"
I will find you...
"There was a rhythm game that I don't remember the name of that me and some friends would challenge each other in, and it had the song Guitar vs Piano 2 which introduced me to Envy, who was a pretty big newgrounds artist at the time. I wanna go check out their stuff again now, I'd completely forgot about them till now."
"Forums. There used to be so many, incredibly active and dedicated forums."
"A lot of the forums I visited were ruined by photobucket when they decided they wanted paid a lot of money from their users. So many build threads and tutorials ruined."
"IMDb had the best message boards back in the day. Chatting with your internet friends around the globe about every nuance in your fave movie. Man I miss that. Reddit is close, but nothing beats the olden days."
FunEgg Hatch GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy
"Do you guys remember those egg things that hatched little creatures after a while? You'd put one on your website and then the artist would update the source url with images of it hatching? There were all kinds of little fun things like that."
Those were the days!
Do you have something you'd like to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.