People Share The Most Awkward "You Can't Be Serious" Moments They've Experienced
Sometimes you really can't believe your ears. Not looks wise, but what you're hearing. The actual words coming out of another person's mouth and the moment they choose to let their "thoughts" fall. Most of the time we think they're kidding. Some of the time... we're wrong and that can lead to some dicey awkward pauses.
Redditor SpaghettiBoy99 inquired about What was your most awkward "hahaha....oh wait you're serious" moment? We've ALL been there y'all. Some people are just... (no words)
TELL ME... DO YOU VALIDATE?!
I was at work, I work in retail, and me and my coworkers heard a loud "boom". But we didn't think anything of it.
5 minutes later, an older lady who is in the store almost everyday, maybe in her 50s-60s, came up to me and said " I just drove into your building."
I looked at her, and right before I began to laugh out loud, I realized she actually did.
AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY SAID "BYE FELICIA!"
I was taking a long leg cast off a kid about 2.5-3 years old. After I get the cast split open and pull it off, mother says, "Oh, his toe fell off". I'm like, "heh, nice one". The kid was in the cast because his small toe had been nearly amputated and reattached; the doc was hoping what tissue was still connected would be enough to vascularize the distal portion. It wasn't and the kid's toe died and fell off.
THIS CHICKEN SMELLS ROTTEN.
I work in a deli and we had a new older lady start. I was showing her how to display the chicken breast and she turns to me and says "I'm going to have to work up to the chicken, my husband used to tie me up and hit me with raw chicken breast" this was so shocking and out of the blue i assumed it was a joke, nope. I just thought she was grossed out by raw chicken.
Someone once said to me " Wait you're Chinese? I always thought you were Asian."
HAVE WE MET?
Met a guy, and I told him my name. He said "I'll probably not remember it; I have memory problems." I said "Haha yeah, I'm bad with names too." Met him again two days later, and I remembered his name. He, on the other hand, didn't remember meeting me. And when I realized it wasn't a joke, and was told by his mother that he actually does have memory problems, I felt like an idiot.
Oh well, he doesn't remember me laughing at him.
CAN WE BE MORMONS?
I posted this before but - I was on a first date with a guy I met at work and things are going good til his phone starts ringing and he tells me to be quiet because it was his wife...
TIME FOR SOME COFFEE FRIEND.
A man was regaling his fellow party-goers with his drunken jokes. He described being found as a newborn in a field, after his teenage mother hid her pregnancy and gave birth at home. All he knew about her was she was a Waffle House waitress. We sat there, enthralled, waiting for the punchline, until we realized he'd moved from "life of the party" onto the "in vino veritas" stage of drunkenness.
DID THE T-REX DECIDE? DEEP THOUGHTS.
Her: How do we even know that Dinosaurs were called Dinosaurs if they're all dead now and we've never met one in real life?
Me: Hahaha that's funny.
Her: What's funny?
Me: Oh honey...
It took me literally half an hour to even get her slightly on board with the fact that things are called things because we decided on the name not because things inherently have a name we discover.
I wish I was joking.
I'LL THROW IN A BILLY TOO.
Realtor here. Buyers offered goats to sweeten their offer.
ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD NOT YOUR MOUTH.
I work as a server in a restaurant. We use little wooden trays as check presenters and since it is an open air restaurant we weigh down the receipts with decorative stones (shiny ones like for the bottoms of fish tanks). I dropped a check for an older couple and when I got back the man said "You should warn people that those rocks aren't chocolates! I could have broken a tooth!" I get a lot of older people who like to josh around with me so I definitely thought he was kidding.
He was not. He was actually mad at me because he had tried to eat the rock and it was obviously my fault.
IT'S A GIRL!
My now bf and I were on our fifth date. We were out to lunch, and some toddler started throwing a screaming fit. Bf and I looked at each other and I said something along the lines of, "Kids are the best, aren't they?" Which is when he said "Oh, I've been meaning to tell you, I have a daughter". We have similar humor styles so I started giggling thinking he was teasing. He was not. So that was interesting.
STOP USING FAKE NEWS!
This one girl asked me if 9/11 really happened on 9/11 or did the news and others SAY it happened on 9/11 because it sounded more legit than any other day
SHALL I PAY FOR YOUR FUTURE KIDS TOO?
An old roommate wanted me to start paying more in rent because he was trying to save up to buy himself a house.
DAD SEEMS ANXIOUS. NO?
When I was 18, I went with my then girlfriend to Las Vegas to meet her parents (we were in Florida where she lived with her aunt and uncle). I found out that her dad and mom lived in separate houses right across the street from one another for whatever reason, which was strange but definitely not the strangest thing that would happen that trip. Her dad came over to her mom's house to meet me and I couldn't help but notice he was dressed in a suit. I thought maybe he was just a fancy dresser. He kept asking me questions about my family and how I felt about his daughter. He seemed to like me, and we went through the trip on fairly pleasant terms, but nothing else happened of any note.
Once we get back home to Florida, my girlfriend decides to tell me that her dad thought we were coming out to Vegas to get married and he dressed up because he was planning on taking us to get married that day. She had to tell him that we had no intention of getting married in Vegas.
UM DUDE.... T.M.I!!
My uncle asked my brother if he thought my other brother, (who's gay,) bleached his a**hole.
My brother, telling me the story:
"I kept waiting for him to start laughing or smile or anything, but he just stared at me with such a straight face. I was like 'oh you're serious? I don't know dude' what was I supposed to say?"
ORLANDO LEFT QUITE THE IMPRESSION.
I asked a coworker with what his son's name was, and he answered Legolas. After two seconds of laughing I realised he wasn't laughing. His son is actually named Legolas.
DOOR OPEN KIDS!
First day on a new job, my boss was discussing standard office policies. He said, "And I'd like to point out we have an open door policy here."
I said, "Oh, great! So if I have a problem I can come to you?"
He said, "No, I mean keep your office door open at all times."
DID YOU GET A LEASH TOO?
Worked at a pet food store. A women came in and asked where to put topical flea medicine on her kids, Frontline, I laughed way too hard. She complained to my manager, who also laughed.
CAN I TAG YOU IN?
I was a waiter and guy said his wife wanted to take me home. I had never heard of anything like that before.
WHAT ABOUT STAR WARS? HELLO?
Dated a girl for ~4 months a few years back. One day we're chilling at my house, ask her if she wants to watch an episode of Brian Cox's documentary Wonders of the universe to which she told me she "doesn't believe in space"
She was 100% convinced that the sky was all their was and that space was a huge cover up by the government or some shit.
At first I laughed, then we argued and I couldn't win because I haven't been to space to prove it exists.
We didn't see much of each other after that.
It's easy to get caught up in the past.
...so long as we knew what time of day it was going to be on.
What's something nostalgic for your age group?
Video games today are horrible!
Give us a 2-dimensional side-scroller of an Italian plumber fighting a dragon monster and nothing else good for many more years after that. Who needs all these fantastic releases, year in and year out, every year?
How Do We Enable "Big Head Mode?"
"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start"
"My toddler son has a toy game controller that plays a little jingle if you put this code in. I loved that they put that little Easter egg into a kids toy and it makes my husband smile every time he does it."
When Was This Old? *cries in tired old man
"Anytime recently I've tried to get back into Minecraft it breaks my heart because the game just feels so different now. I played it from 2010 up until 2018 or 19 almost religiously, but the past couple years have really changed the game. I'm sure it's just as fun to play now, but it doesn't have that same nostalgia factor anymore like it used to."
Tests Of Parenthood
"Neopets in 2005"
"My girlfriend at the time made me take care of one as a test for being a father. Literally."
Some things you long for aren't actually possible to do anymore, leading to the reasoning this is why the nostalgia is at an all-time high. What's worse than missing something that no longer exists?
The Smell, The Sounds, The Sights, The Ambience
"Going to Blockbuster with my friends on a Friday"
"Renting cheesy horror movies and making fun of them with the group!"
You Can Miss That?
"Dial up modem noises"
"Kiiiiiiiiiiii…kiiuuuu…kiiiuuuu.. it was something like that right? I even forgot."
"And then I used to open yahoo login page and do some other work for few minutes and come back while it loads, and then enter id password, hit login and then get a coffee until it loads."
Illegal, But, Yeah
"I remember the really early days of mp3 sharing, before P2P came along. There were hundreds of FTP servers that you could connect to with huge libraries of mp3s. No domain name, just a raw IP address that you found somewhere on usenet."
"But they couldn't just give it away, because then everyone would take and nobody would give. So they had quota systems: you'd upload an mp3, and for every byte you uploaded, you'd get to download 2, or 3, or maybe even 5. And this was over dialup, so uploading or downloading a single file could take 30 minutes."
"But it was FTP. Very simple and dumb. There was no memory of your "credits" between sessions, so if you uploaded a bunch of stuff and then lost your connection, you were SOL."
"It amazes me to think how much time I spent getting a few songs that today I can play any time I want on Spotify."
For some people, this next section will sound silly.
For others, this was our childhood, which sadly (when you really think about it) revolved around a television schedule we had no input on, meaning we had to plan everything out around when the next episode of Power Rangers aired.
Cartoons After School Are The Best
"Anime on Toonami. Cartoon Cartoon Fridays"
"Toonami had really great western cartoons as well. I loved watching Samurai Jack, Ben 10, Teen Titans, and Clone Wars on Toonami growing up."
"Old Cartoon Network, spiky gelled hair"
"Old Cartoon Network" is an interesting answer because people are gonna have different ideas about what "Old Cartoon Network" is. I think of Ed, Edd n Eddy and Codename: Kids Next Door. Another commenter mentioned Gumball which is still well after my time."
When Life Revolved Around Someone Else's Schedule
"Born in the 70s, grew up in the 80s...I remember huddling around the TV as a family to watch certain things."
"For some reason, they would show The Wizard of Oz every year on network tv..and it was a big deal. My mom would make popcorn...in a pot on the stove (It was the 80's) and we'd sit on a blanket on the floor and watch."
Or Friday Nights....Dukes of Hazzard (when it was new). Mom would get takeout from Burger Chef...and we'd sit on the floor eating hamburgers watching 'dem Duke Boys at it again."
"Or in the summer....they'd show Creature from the Black Lagoon 3D on tv. 7-11 would give out free 3-D glasses."
"For the younger Redditors....this was well before any kind of streaming/on demand service...and back when cable TV and VCRs were still a luxury that a lot of people didn't have. So, you really only got to watch what was on the few channels that your antenna allowed."
"Another one is coming home from school to watch old shows like Gilligan's Island, The Munsters, The Addams Family, Batman, F-Troop."
"Or staying up late and at midnight....the TV would play the National Anthem....then show a control screen and just "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" like this: https://youtu.be/Cnchea6LHN0"
The good ol' days.
When determining how to spend our life in a way that feels worthy, many place a heavy emphasis on experiences. We want to die with scars and stories.
And sticking our necks out inevitably leads to a whole lot of struggle. But that doesn't mean we wouldn't do the same thing the very next day if we could go back.
Some things, though we'll never do them again, were too important an experience to pass up.
Redditor JackIrishJack asked:
"What should you do once, but not twice?"
Many people talked about the life experiences, big and small, that influenced their outlook. They recommend people go through some discomfort to gain important awareness.
A Capacity for Empathy
"Working in the food industry I feel like everybody should do it once so they can have a respect for food workers but it's also a hell I never want to go through again"
Paying for a Daydream
"Buy a lottery ticket"
"You're not going to win, but buying a lottery ticket gives you the chance to dream and pretend. Having a second lottery ticket isn't going to make your dreams more vivid."
Plenty of Implications
"Visit Auschwitz. I firmly believe everyone should go visit it so as to not forget what humans are capable of doing to each other. But no need to visit twice. Once was enough for me."
Others brought up things which, if done twice, would be a sure sign that something is very very wrong.
Supposed To Be Permanent
"Learning how to walk. The first time - good on you. Having to
relearn a second time means something went terribly wrong."
Only Two Sets
"Lose all of your teeth" -- Outrageous_Cream_112
"Haha I had to think about this for a second" -- ApplesauceDoctr
Don't Wanna Find Yourself There Too Often
"Get beaten half to death breaks the concepts of your limits. Second time breaks the spirit. Third time is overkill."
Others apparently viewed the question as an opportunity for a little cleverness.
If You're Good
"Cut...you measure twice before." -- wxguy215
"For me its more like 'measure twice, make sure it's just a teeny bit too long then go back and shave it off little by little until it wedges in perfectly' " -- pistpuncher3000
As the Saying Goes
"Fool me" -- Thia_suzieUzi
"FOOL ME THREE TIMES FU** THE PEACE SIGN LOAD THE CHOPPA LET IT RAIN ON YOU" -- nixusthegod
Only a Couple to Work With
"Donate a kidney" -- RealisticDelusions77
"Donate one kidney, you're a hero. Donate two kidneys, you're a corpse. Donate three kidneys, you're a felon." -- Drach88
"Be born. Going through the birthing process again would probably kill my mother." -- cylonrobot
Here's hoping we can all find the healthy balance between living a full, experienced life and punishing ourselves a little too much.
Whenever I visit clothing stores, I make it a point to fold the clothes I unfurl. That is apparently my downfall as a customer.
Because of this, fellow customers often peg me as an employee and always ask me questions like where the bathroom is, or if the store has certain sizes left in stock.
Umm, no, I don't work here. I'm just a responsible customer. As you were.
Many of us make assumptions about other people just by looking at them. Who knew we were so presumptuous?
Curious to hear the experiences of strangers online, Redditor lilmizzvalz asked:
"What do people assume about you, based on your appearance?"
People often misinterpret moods based on how someone looks. That's unfair, wouldn't you say?
"That I'm caring and supportive. I have a resting nice face."
"That I am always mad. Nope just dissociating and staring off into space."
Not Meaning To Be Mean
"That I'm mean. I have a resting mean face for a dude I guess. Also lately it's worse because I'm bigger now. I don't really notice how my face appears but apparently, I seem angry when I'm looking at stuff."
"'You should smile' and 'are you ok?' comments followed me from busboy, waiter, bartender my whole career."
When it comes to measuring intelligence of others, some people are just way off.
Hard To Live Up To Expectations
"That I'm clever. People keep saying it to me, but I'm dumb and that sh*t is hard to live up to."
"I have glasses."
Eyes Full Of Wisdom
"I apparently have something similar going on mixed with looking like I know sh*t, because people come up to me in public and ask about directions, bus schedules and stuff all the time. Like, they'll deliberately avoid other people to ask me. Including when I'm abroad and should look a bit out of place."
"They assume I have an intellectual disability. (And also that I'm deaf, since I'm not able to speak.)"
"No, I am a person with two university degrees who happen to need a wheelchair because of a nasty neurological illness."
People don't always look their age. Some don't even act their age. But these Redditors have gotten their fair share of wrong guesses for their ages.
"That I'm 15."
"I'm 38 and a doctor. 'Did you just finish school?' EVERY DAY."
"This thread was depressing to read as I am 38 but often get mistaken for 50. I hate y'all and your youthful beauty."
Some people are typed out as certain types of people with just one look.
Watch Your Tone
"That I have a southern accent. Not one stranger has ever suspected that I have a 'New Jersey' accent (Born and raised in New Jersey before moving south)"
Not A Biker
"That I ride a Harley and/or work on them. I'm bald with a long goatee and tons of tattoos, but I'm in IT for a living and don't ride motorcycles at all."
Like others have expressed in the thread, I've also been accused of having "resting b*tch face."
You know, that neutral expression where you're not smiling the one time you're not in a situation where you have to be "on" for other people?
Yeah, that one.
If someone's resting face comes across as unfriendly, well, perhaps it's best not to upset them by asking them what's wrong all the time. Just sayin'.
Ideally, a teacher should take the job because of a genuine interest in helping students, furthering their education as well as their self-development. Of course, it's not as simple as that (administrative issues aside). Unfortunately, there are some teachers out there who aren't cut out for the job––and they even have a mean streak when it comes to their students. The effects this can have on the learning process are dire.
Teachers don't get paid well, and they're well aware. Many stick with the job because they have a passion for teaching; many others stick with the job because of the position of inscrutable authority it offers them over helpless students.
People shared their experiences after Redditor Ara-Rat asked the online community,
"What did your teacher do that made you call them 'the worst teacher ever'?"
"Questioned 5th-grade teacher's manner of pluralizing a word on the board. Got sent to the library to look it up in a dictionary and report my findings to the class.
Decades later and I'm still mad at that woman for trying to publicly humiliate a ten-year-old student."
That's awful. What is with adults who try to deliberately an example out of children?
"My old band teacher..."
"My old band teacher threw a projector at his students. He left the district later that year."
That was... probably for the best, when you think about it. (I had a teacher who threw a girl's pencil case out the window when she wouldn't stop talking; no, he was not fired.)
"My 3rd-grade teacher..."
"My 3rd-grade teacher got frustrated with a kid's stutter and started pounding the kid's desk with a closed fist while mocking his stutter."
Hopefully this teacher was disciplined and/or fired. That's the sort of behavior that thankfully would not fly today––it would go viral so fast.
"The worst were the teachers..."
"The worst were the teachers who would take books away from me and hold me up for ridicule because they disagreed or didn't approve of the genre or subject material. I was always into science fiction and horror genre's and many of them didn't consider it true literature worthy of reading. I remember my father getting into it with one of the teachers who disapproved of Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, to which he pointed out it was on the required reading list of a lot of major universities. Dad was awesome like that, and chewed the teacher and principal out for having the temerity to try to stop any student who wanted to read, regardless of what the genre was."
Teachers who mock students for reading are the worst. Reading is one of the best things any student can do––there are so many benefits! Hopefully you have not lost your love of reading.
"When I'd instinctively try..."
"She tied me to my chair. I was hyperactive, and also 5. She would also hold my hand during formation in the mornings and squeeze so hard my tiny knuckles would crack. When I'd instinctively try to pull my hand away, she'd hold onto it and smile at me and ask me if it hurt."
The abuse here is almost incomprehensible. But it happens: a few years ago, a teacher made headlines for hanging a student by his coat on a coatrack. You can bet there were lawsuits.
"I was in the only dress I owned..."
"Tried to get me suspended for a dress code violation when I was 15. I was in the only dress I owned at the time because I was going to my best friend's funeral. She'd committed suicide two days before. I was crying and begging her to just let me stay till my mom picked up my remaining friends to go to the funeral. Said teacher then took me to the office and I had to sit in the front office under a tarp until my mom picked me up."
"My 8th grade English teacher..."
"My 8th grade English teacher never published grades and every time I'd ask her about it she'd answer with, "I don't know, what do you think it is?"
IF I KNEW WOULD I BE ASKING?!"
I've had a few teachers like this. Makes one wonder: Are you actually grading anything? WHAT are you doing, exactly?
"My biology teacher..."
"My biology teacher took my yearbook away right before the summer break. I didn't put it away in time.
That year my parents divorced and I was moving away. I told her this after class and she didn't care. She kept it until the last day. I didn't get any signatures.
Ended up throwing it away. What a witch."
"My university lecturer..."
"My university lecturer was the most incompetent bloke I've ever met. He taught I.T and for the life of me, I can't figure out how he got that job.
- In the first lesson, he got us to sign up to Twitter so we could share lesson content, tweet at each other so we'd get to know one another, and also tweet him. Everybody, including the lecturer, used Twitter once. We just used the university intranet to share stuff.
- Again, during the first lesson, he announced he was going on holiday for four weeks during our first term.
- All of his lessons were PowerPoint presentations, each slide had about a paragraph of text written on them which he would read out loud while awkwardly looking over his shoulder. Once he was done doing that he would essentially repeat what he had just said.
- One day he asked us for help in booking his airline tickets online because he couldn't figure out how to use the website.
As sad as these stories are, consider that these teachers are very much the exception to the rule. The majority of the teachers I have known over the years genuinely care for their students, work tirelessly on their lesson plans, and would never tolerate a single moment of the behavior featured here. Thank you to those teachers for doing their jobs––we appreciate you. (And ya'll deserve a raise, it's honestly messed up how little lawmakers understand about how hard your jobs actually are.)
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!