People Share The Great Lies Ever Told, And We Need To Up Our Game

Everything you're about to read is a lie. The previous sentence is true. Lying is an art, though people do it so commonly it's often nearly impossible to distinguish fact from fantasy. White lies save our butts all the time, but the really devilish falsehoods are harder to stop.

vince801 asked Reddit: What is the greatest lie ever told?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.



Cracking the Nazi Enigma was a massive feat of intelligence. And a huge secret.

Originally posted by /u/GrinningPariah here: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1iou8v/what_is_the_single_greatest_lie_ever_told_in/cb6r09j

My favorite lie is Ultra.

It's not really just one lie. It's a campaign of lies, probably more widespread and deep-routed than any in history, all leading to one collossal lie: Hiding the fact that the Allies broke the Enigma cipher. And, later, the Japanese "Purple" cipher, and the German Lorenz cipher, and the Italian C-38 cypher.

Basically, the Allies had blown every code the Axis used out of the water, thanks to the work of the Polish Cipher Bureau, and the Bletchley Park mathematicians including Alan Turing, and the American Signal Intelligence Service.

The collective intelligence from all these broken codes was called Ultra.

But what do you do when your code gets broken? You make a new, harder one. The allies couldn't let that happen, they couldn't let the axis know that their codes were broken. So how do you use data from a broken code without revealing that the code is broken? You lie.

If they wanted to take out an Axis supply ship after finding it through Ultra, they didn't just do that. They had a spy plane fly over where they knew the ship would be, then they sunk it. So the crew are all like "oh we got spotted." They also had to hide the broken codes from their own soldiers, lest they be revealed under careless talk. So they sent out other spy planes knowing nothing would be found, so crews wouldn't wonder how mission found an enemy every time.

They would never attack until they had a "cover story". Men undoubtedly died, by attacks the government knew were coming, because they would not compromise Ultra.

One of the few times they were forced to sink ships immediately, they covered it by sending a message in a code they knew the Germans had broken, to a spy in Naples, congratulating him of his success. The spy didn't exist, but the Germans intercepted the message and assumed everything was still good with Enigma.

The best part is, they didn't even reveal Ultra after the war. They saw to it that the Enigma machines were sold to potential enemies in the Third World, who continued to use the broken codes for years. Ultra wasn't revealed in its full extent until 1974, 29 years after the war. Never has a secret of such massive importance been so well kept for so long.

zgoodwin24

Fool me once...

Gregor MacGregor, the absolute madman, managed to convince a whole bunch of people not only to believe he was the king of an entirely fictional Central-American country, not only to invest in entirely fake government bonds for this fictional country, but also to sign up as colonists and freaking emigrate to the place!

Despite nearly 80% of the colonists dying after being dumped in a totally undeveloped jungle, a few of them made their way back to Britain and still spoke up in MacGregor's defense! Even after the French authorities finally arrested him, he was acquitted of all charges!

_kalia

Who would question this?

I tell people that I was my country's high school national Connect 4 champion. It's so random it never gets questioned though its also far from humanity's greatest lie ever told but it's definitely my personal favorite.

baconandeggsandbacon

I'm going to tell everyone.

"I won't tell anyone."

What they always mean: "I'll tell my best friend/ SO everything."

4StoryADay4

No it isn't and no you won't.

"Your call is important to us and we will be with you in a moment."

KingArthur973

Narrator: he hasn't.

I have read and accept the terms and conditions.

wayotalae

Bahahahahaha.

That you can grow up to be anything you want to be.

Ooowee_spaghetti

Lie.

I'm fine.

WrestlingWoman

Vaccines DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM.

Vaccines cause autism.

Andrew Wakefields completely bullsh*t, totally faked paper (for dirty money) has so far caused the death of thousands and thousands of people and rises in cases of diseases like measles, rubella, diphtheria and whooping cough.

I hope he wakes up every day with the weight of those dead children on his shoulders.

Fallenangel152

No but it can buy alcohol.

Money can't buy happiness.

how_not_to_reddit

Teacher standing in front of a classroom
Photo by Taylor Flowe on Unsplash

It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.

With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.

Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.

Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.

Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.

Always making for a memorable story.

Keep reading...Show less
woman in white crew neck t-shirt sitting on gray sofa
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.

However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.

Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.

Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.

Keep reading...Show less
A couple holds hands on a date, candlelit table and two glasses of red wine
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.

The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.

Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.

Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.

Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.

The truth is all we have.

Ask everything.

Keep reading...Show less
Woman letting go of boyfriend's hand
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.

But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.

Keep reading...Show less