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People Share Secrets That They Could Never Tell Their Friends And Family

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A year ago Reddit user najing_ftw asked Reddit users: 

"What is something you won't tell your friends or family, but you will tell Reddit?" 

The anonymity of the internet loosened many figurative tongues.

Almost 30,000 comments were left in response. Here are some of the most humorous, surprising or shocking.

I Have a Traumatic Brain Injury

All my friends and family know that I've had a few concussions, but what they don't know is that its really affecting my brain. 
I can't remember anything. If its not written down, I will probably forget to do it. Its always things I need to do, or stuff I need to get at the store etc, I'm not forgetting names or where I am or anything. I also have a terrible time with getting distracted, like right now. I used to be able to concentrate on a task for hours on end, but now I can get sidetracked so easily. 
I play off my forgetfulness as a joke, but its getting worse and I'm getting scared.  sammeggs

I'm the Opossum Whisperer

Since nobody would even try to believe me when a related topic came up in the outside world, there's these 4 opossums that come to my garage every time I'm in there alone with it open and they act just like domesticated cats until I shoo them out to leave. I have no fucking clue why they're only comfortable with me and don't beg/scour for food, but I named the dominant one Sputnik.  jakeefswag

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I Play D&D;

I play D&D.; My parents are still on the 'D&D; leads kids to Satan and/or witchcraft' bandwagon and threatened to kick me out when I asked if I could try playing it at home. Although, they only know the NAME of the game, not what it actually looks like, so as long nothing I use for it explicitly says 'Dungeons and Dragons,' they couldn't care less. mario3585

I've Always Had a Crush on My Stepsister

I've always had a huge crush on my stepsister and I always will. Even though she's engaged and I've had a happy relationship with my girlfriend of six years, a giant part of me wishes it had ended up a different way.  GokTypo

I Left My Car Running During a Movie

I once sat through an entire movie without realizing that I had left my car running in the parking lot....

...The movie was Pacific Rim, I liked it. That, combined with my car not getting stolen from the theater parking lot, made that day a pretty good day.  rikkSteele

I'm Homeless

I've been living in my car for almost a year. I leave work and come back when everyone is gone. Use the WiFi, pretend everything's okay. Money is tight right now for me, but I often wonder if my pride might become the death of me.  mrtwidget

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I Have Cancer and I'm Scared

In August I was diagnosed with colon cancer that has spread. I had surgery and am doing chemo but the goal is remission, not cure, I am terminal. My friends and family do not want to hear this. What I don't tell them is that I am scared--incredibly scared and need to talk about this. I am having terrible mood swings which could be the drugs. I'm tired of trying to comfort other people about my illness.  Kellianne

My Girlfriend Didn't Break Up With Me, She Died

That my girlfriend killed herself four years ago. They didn't know her very much and just assumed she dumped me when I stopped talking about her. I'm still completely unable to talk about it, and I will probably delete this in a day or two so as to avoid thinking about it when I read my post history.  apimil

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I Found Out My Wife Cheated and I'm Relieved

I'm 98.5% certain that my wife cheated on me two weeks ago, and I feel relieved because it means that I can finally get out of this marriage. 
Edit: ...I have a lot of people asking for a story or why I haven't left already. I posted it below in response to another comment but I'm just going to copy and paste it here. 
It's not that easy to say "Okay I'm done" in a marriage. We've been together for 12 years and married for 1.5. That's 12 years of families coming together, friends coming together, lives changing. It becomes less about you and more about everyone else in your life. I wasn't unhappy, but I wasn't happy. We started counseling a while back and nothing changed at all. Everyone you talk to about being unhappy or not feeling in love says this is a phase of marriage and you get through it. Have kids they say, it's marriage it's forever they say. When you try to talk to your family and friends about questioning what you're doing you get told it's just a phase. So you believe it. 
No one knows your wife is emotionally abusive and can make you think every problem is your fault and make you question every decision you made. No one knows that, despite appearances, you're not the perfect couple. Your single friends wish for a relationship like yours. Your married friends wish for a relationship like yours, but none of them are home when the doors are closed. I'm just glad we haven't had kids yet. 
So when I got a call from a friend that works with her that she left the bar on business trip with another guy and it was not innocent, then she lied about where she was that night, and I found charges she can't explain on the credit card bill, I sighed. Because I don't have to explain to everyone around me why I'm leaving. I'm not a bad husband who is giving up. She's a bad wife who slept with someone on a work trip. 
Don't get me wrong, this hurts. Hurts like nothing I've ever felt before. I feel angry, confused, sad, hurt, broken, betrayed, and scared. How many other times has this happened? How much of a lie is my life? What do I do now? Where do I go? I don't have answers to these questions, but at least I can move on. 
So, that's why I couldn't, I guess.  Da_beans

I Love My Family But I Can't Say It

I love my family.

For some reason I cannot handle saying "I love You" to my parents even though I really do. It carries some strange kind of weight, I feel like it might expose my emotional weakness... and they raised in a way that allows me to handle the world by myself.  lwlwlwlw

I'm Gay

I'm gay, (I'm telling Reddit) because Reddit can't kick me out of my house.  ThatGuyFrom_Chicago

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I Don't Like Being Forced to Attend Family Events All the Time

...I genuinely hate having to drive 3 hours nearly every weekend to see my family for "planned events". The moment I decline anything I get yelled at. Can't I just be at home, walk around naked, drink beer, and play video games? IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK MOM!?  IQuestionThat

I Don't Want to Play Video Games Anymore

I don't want to play video games anymore. But I feel guilty if I'd quit, because I'd be letting myself down. It's a part of me that I don't want to let go yet....

...I play an MMO which requires regular hours, but I have enough commitments already. I do have a hobby (several, actually) that I really enjoy doing, and I consider gaming to be one of them. I never played videogames much as a kid (strict parents), and I wanted to take up playing an MMO as a hobby now that I have a job, and time. But grinding out items in the end game isn't as rewarding or satisfying irl as I thought. Also, it feels like my mind is in the game all the time. I'm thinking of rotations, planning cooldowns, and figuring out raid schedule in my head at work, and I can't focus on my job.

On the other hand, if I quit then it would be like betraying my younger self. It's like, I have waited my entire life to do this, and I can't even see it to the end? And by the end, I meant until servers shut down. Rearranger_

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I'm Autistic

I'm autistic. My parents believe with enough willpower you can overcome anything. My sister believes only children are autistic and my best friend has been very vocal that she finds autistic people creepy.

Only my husband and Reddit know me.  thedollgirl

I Smoke Weed for Medicinal Reasons

I smoke weed for my bipolar [disorder] and depression. A few friends know, but none of my family know I had to jump states to treat my condition legally. 

I honestly expect disownment the day they find out.  Zerovarner

I'm Broke

They all think im fiscally responsible and am rolling in savings. I've spent all my money and now have almost no savings. I'm moving in a few months and I'm terrified that something is going to come up and I won't be able to afford it and will have to admit to them that I have no money left.  Bake0rDie

I Have Repressed Memories of My Military Service

I have repressed around 6 firefights that I've been in, in which I killed people. Like I said, I have repressed the memories and they only came back last year when I spoke to an old military buddy. He was doing the whole "hey, remember when we were in Kuwait and got into that running gun battle with the Republican guards?". I laughed and told him no, that he has me mistaken for someone else. A long silence, then a few more questions about other incidents...then everything came back and hit me like a tidal wave. I cried for a few days after that, and the memories haunt me. 
I never want my daughter to know that I am responsible for killing other human beings. 
I have been working with a psychiatrist and a PTSD counselor, and it has helped.  coachslg

I'm in Love With a Transgender Girl

I'm in a relationship with a transgender girl, I also lost my virginity to her and I'm planning on tying the knot eventually. My mom could really care less, I think she knows I'm already pansexual; my dad is a bigot, however...  DaftRyosuke

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I'm Doing Horrible in College

I'm doing absolutely horrible in college. Going to school for a CS (computer science)degree. Absolutely love computers, but the math is almost impossible for me. 

They all tell me how proud they are that I'm in college, so I don't want to let them down. But I just can't do this stuff.  HalfSquatch

I'm Tired of It All

im tired. 
tired of my kids not listening. 
tired of my wife's depression/anxiety. 
tired of having to clean the house every night. tired of knowing what i should eat and not doing it. 
tired of being overweight. 
tired of the loneliness. tired of shit at work not working. tired of being worried what other people think about me and my decisions. tired of staring blankly into the computer screen at night avoiding going to bed. 
tired of not being happy. 
im just tired.  heyathrowaway1234567

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I Don't Know What to Do Next

I don't...know what to do next... Growing up, the end goal was to graduate high school and get into college. In college, my goal was to graduate and get a job. As an adult, my goal was to save up enough to buy a car and a house. I just accomplished those, and it feels amazing, but last weekend, I was sitting in my new home and thought, What now? I know there are a million possibilities out there, but until I find some sense of direction, I'm now just 'wandering' in life. Or at least that's how I feel. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but I'm looked at as someone who has their shit together and yet I spend my evenings flipping a coin to decide what to do with my life.  walkingcarpet23

I'm a Virgin at 27

I'm still a virgin at the age of 27, depressed as hell because of it. Family and few closer friends think I'm a charismatic, successful person who has had several relationships behind me. Good looks, positive attitude, great career, sense of style mean nothing if you're a shy, anxious wreck around people you actually like.  ThrowAway25h

I'm Slowly Losing My Mind

I'm slowly losing my mind. It's been a very gradual thing over the better part of two decades, but it has reached a point where it's directly affecting my daily life. 
I remember in my sophomore year of high school, I took my final without a calculator. I finished 10 minutes before anyone else in the class and got 94% on the test. It went downhill from there. Now I struggle to do basic math in my head. I used to be an avid reader. I'd rather sit in my room and devour a book than do anything else. Now I can't read books. Anything more than a handful of paragraphs at a time and I cannot focus on it. I'll read a sentence, skip the remainder of the paragraph, read the first sentence of the next one, and wonder what happened in between. 
I used to memorize near everything. I could recite lectures, movies, songs, books word-for-word. The most minute details were right there in my mind. Now, about a third of the time I'm talking to someone, as soon as the conversation is over I have to ask them to 'run it by me again,' because I've already forgotten what we had just talked about. I am aware we had a conversation, just only the vaguest idea what was said. 
It's weird when you can actually feel yourself getting dumber. When you know your mind should be working faster than I is. To be aware that you know the answer, but it's like walking through a pool of jello to get to it, when it previously would be effortless, is both very difficult to accept and very depressing. It's a slow progression. It's taken half my life for it to get to this point, and I don't know if it's going to get worse or not. I don't talk about it with family. Years ago, when I was still in school and first noticed it, I tried asking them for help. They told me to stop making excuses for why my grades were beginning to slip, and then stopped paying for my education because I 'clearly wasn't trying hard enough.' I've honestly never forgiven them for that, and it's the main reason why, until my son's birth, I maintained only a very distant relationship with them. I haven't really talked about it with my wife because I'm not even sure how to. I don't want to be a burden on her or my son, but I don't know what to do about it. 
It's just a very strange thing to deal with. The last couple of years, when I've done a lot of introspection and really taken a look at where I am now, have pretty much emptied me of any self-confidence I once had because I can't be certain it's not going to continue to get worse.  FeloniusGecko

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I Got Voluntarily Sterilized

I got voluntarily sterilized years ago. Most of [my friends and family] think I had a problem with a cyst on my fallopian tube (true) but they didn't know that removing them entirely was elective, to remove the cyst AND the chance of pregnancy. Kind of awkward sometimes with the 'You never know!' and 'God works miracles!' talks that their Catholic vantage point tells me (more themselves, really) when I say that I won't be having kids.  abqkat

I Married A Stranger For a Visa

I married a stranger from Reddit for visa purposes and she has changed my life (in a good way)....

...3 Years ago i was depressed, single and stuck in a rut. I hated where i lived and needed to change something. She made a post on (subreddit name removed at mods request) offering passport exchange. I messaged her with my offer and we got married 3 months later. That was 3 years ago. Turns out we're pretty damn compatible and have sex and everything... 
So, we're no longer doing the passport exchange and we have been living in my original country and i no longer have interest in moving to hers. We're moving to Berlin in a few weeks for about a year, then onwards to our final destination, Barcelona. 
I've been to so many places i never would have gone to before, and completely transformed my lifestyle. Now i can live with very few possessions and be ultra-portable, whereas before i would have cringed at the thought.  mountainjew

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I'm Terrified of Stickers and Patterned Tape

I'm terrified of stickers and patterned tape. I don't know why, I don't remember any particular trauma? But they freak me the fuck out. I saw the thumbnail for a video of a guy eating stickers in a dark alley yesterday and I literally almost threw up. 

This is why I can never work with kids.  insert_title_here

My Wife Can't Cook

My wife's cooking is, largely, shit. She refuses to learn the basics of working in the kitchen and makes the same mistakes time and again....

...I've tried (cooking with her). She's really, really stubborn and resentful of people especially me who she perceives as trying to change her. She could have a method that causes her to lose a finger and if I pointed that out she'd look me right in the eye and do it her way 10 times.  Air_Hellair

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Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.