Teachers, educators and coaches are people too. In fact, they are some of the wittiest people around, you'd have to be to deal with some of the fools, neh, students they see on a daily basis. More educators should probably go into stand up comedy but past students and institutions who employed them wouldn't be able to handle it. Teachers... write down your best thoughts, make t-shirts, you could use the extra income.
Redditor u/areaditor wanted everyone who has been vanquished by a teacher to speak out by asking.... What is the most savage thing a teacher has ever said to you?
After getting hit in the eye with a softball during PE, and almost being knocked the heck out,
he said to me 'Son, it could have been worse, could have been my eye!' H3nrikL4rsson
Not me, but a classmate of mine who put on his sunglasses in class:
"Take off those sunglasses, your future ain't that bright." Rooshmie
Teacher here: my go to line for a comment like that is "Still getting paid, you're not!" skinnerwatson
Not me but my best friend. In Social Studies the teacher was giving a lecture and my friend, let's call him Jared, was talking crap to some friends at the back of the room. He said something about his penis, as high school kids do. Well, from the front of the class comes a real snappy line from the teacher, "This is social studies Jared, not microbiology!" In_Shambles
We were sitting around at the end of shop class just talking sh!t until the bell rang. One student asked the teacher if he knew how to get 4 gay guys to sit on a stool. The teacher didn't know so the student turned over his stool so all 4 legs were pointing up.
We all laughed and then the teacher said they had the same joke back in his day except it was about how to get 4 sorority girls to sit on a stool. The student thought that version was way better and started laughing even harder.
Then the teacher says, "Isn't your sister a sorority girl?"
The look on the students face was priceless. BaconConnoisseur
After building trebuchets to launch golf balls in physics, we were doing our tests and someone's went off center on a swing and threw a ball in my direction, hitting me in the head surprisingly hard (actually got a minor concussion from it and it split the skin open).
Seeing me grabbing my head and bleeding, my teacher laughs and says "maybe itll fix the part of your brain that makes you like you are." grootbutmadeofbamboo
In high school, the yearbook committee did a thing where we went to different teachers and asked where they saw random seniors in ten years time, and put the quotes in the yearbook
When I gave the name of one of my friends to our English teacher, she simply said
You're no T!
Not to me but my P.E. teacher once told a boy in the changing rooms, before we went out for football, to take all his jewelry off. He had about 2 chains on his neck, an earring and maybe some more stuff, I can't remember. But it was hilarious to have the teacher say "Who you trying to be, Mr. T or something?" in front of all the boys in his class. comrade_batman
One of my football buddies got his essay back, and the teacher put the mark, and F or D- or whatever in the top corner, then drew on the top a "Football Play"... except instead of the end zone he labeled it the "failure zone" and showed my friend ending up there. billbapapa
once my P.E teacher said that they have mirrors in the gym to check you posture. I said no, it's to take photos and flex. Then he said, you've got nothing to show off. edwardio0
365 and Waiting....Giphy
After finishing my lap of the field for rugby training and giving out times for the team my coach/teacher said; 'i would have timed you but I didn't bring my calendar." EmergencyBerry