Birthdays are meant to be a time of ebullience fun; that's what legend tells us. Celebrating another year around the sun is everyone's right. Some birthdays are epic bacchanals that leave a seared impression that are impossible to follow up and others... well others are seared for darker reasons that make you just want to pretend the idea of a birth celebration never existed. Happy birthday for whenever you read this....
Redditor u/Racing_in_the_street wanted everyone to rejoice and discuss the celebrations of themselves that went well and poorly by asking.....
April 25 was my 50th. Thought it would be the pretty crappy considering... my son's girlfriend baked me a beautiful cake, my son ordered us a magnificent seafood feast from a local place, my husband and mom had ordered some great gifts. I had no idea I was in for such a wonderful day! mommabearof01
Worst was a present from a really good friend of mine. It was from Lush and had really nice things for a bath. The thing is, I don't have a bathtub and I told her this and the only thing she said was: but it was expensive.
Sorry english is not my first language. Reddit
Best: 15th. me and a bunch of my friends went up to the beach and walked along it goofing around, playing in the water. we got lunch at a beach side restaurant and ice cream afterward
Worst: 9th. no one came. we were going to make homemade pizzas and do fireworks in the backyard. i sat on the swing set in the backyard and cried for hours. and I never had a birthday party again, really -- it was always inviting 2-3 close friends over and hanging out.
Now I really don't even have birthday celebrations at all. last year was my 21st so my sister took me out for a drink, but otherwise I don't do anything. I'm not sure most of my friends even know when my birthday is. baby_yaga
It was happy.
I was in a long-distance relationship and my birthday was approaching. My ex contacted my roommates and told them to rent out my favorite coffee shop for a night and surprise me there. It was happy.
Until I found out 2 days later that he cheated on me so we broke up. My roommates then proceeded to inform me my ex hasn't paid them for the party (aside from renting the shop we had cakes and all) and has just blocked them on all platforms of communication. Needless to say I paid for my own surprise party. biadelatrixyaska
Best birthday was 1. And they've all gotten progressively worse since. RedditsBadGuy
Best was my 7th, it was the last time I really had a party for my birthday. I got a dirt bike and my friends came over, it's one of my happiest memories. Worst was my 17th, against everyone's advice and despite saying he wouldn't, my father went and bailed my sister out of jail the night before.
I woke up to my sister passed out on the couch and when my father finally got home from work and she woke up they spent the rest of the day fighting until she ran off again to keep doing meth just like I told him she would. Nobody even acknowledged that it was my birthday. They're both a lot better now thankfully but that one still hurts a little. Relevant_Assistant
My worst birthdays were mostly from the ages of 8-12 - My siblings are all 10 years+ older than me, and one of my brothers's birthday is the day before mine.
So everybody would be drinking and partying during his birthday, even my mum - and then nobody would wake up on my birthday and be too hungover to do anything. :( happyseventyseven
Not mine, but I gave my husband his best birthday last year by taking him on a once-in-a-lifetime week-long vacation to Sydney, Australia, which had been a bucket list vacation for him for nearly his whole life. (I was only able to afford it because I had gotten a huge inheritance AND a huge bonus at my job recently.)
I got us a hotel right next to the Circular Quay with a rooftop swimming pool. We went up there one night just to watch the harbor and the city. The world-famous Sydney Opera House was beautifully lit up at night, and he was tearing up and getting emotional because of it. PianoManGidley
Worst was like 2017 or so? Didn't hear from anyone because my birthday on Facebook was unlisted. Can't expect anyone to remember it then apparently. Best was when I was maybe 10 and my mom made this huge survivor (the show) theme party for my friends and I. That was a good time. Kamon0253
All of my birthdays have been terrible. The worst by far was 2016, when I graduated undergrad. I invited everyone to a combined graduation/birthday party. Reserved half of a local restaurant to host the party, and no one showed up. It was just my boyfriend and I, and the staff watched me crumble into a sobbing mess.
They comped the meal, told me to forget the room reservation fee, and told me to order anything on the menu.
I was born on May 13, and the ones that fall on Fridays have been the absolute worst. bleuswann
2020 was the perfect birthday for me.
It was during lockdown so I got to stay inside with my SO and do nothing all day, see no one and just do my own thing. SacredMug
"where do you want to go?"
My wife hates going to the movies so for my birthday one year she relented and took me to one I had been dying to see. This was all her idea and when she told me what we were doing I was super excited. As we are pulling up to the theater she starts guilting me with "do you REALLY want to go see this"? and guess what, we didn't. Two years ago she was going to cook my favorite meal for me but put it off until the last minute and so then made some crappy excuse about how she had plans to take me and the kids out for dinner.
We get all loaded up in the car and she says' "where do you want to go?" she had no plans. I was pissed but I picked a place but the wait was too long for her so we fought and I ended up eating a bowl of Chex for my birthday dinner. She will make elaborate plans for anyone and everyone else's birthday but when it comes to mine she uses it as an excuse to give me a big Screw You! Greatrnover
Best was 7 years old. I remember my dad grilling and eating cake outside. Had an aunt and uncle show up and they gave me cash. Worst was 2 of them. In-laws had birthday parties for FIL which fell on my birthday (not his birthday). Had to drive 2 hours both ways to celebrate somebody else's bday. hdpeandpet
I had fun, but I don't remember it.
Best birthday was my 18th. My dad and I flew to NYC for my birthday to see Spamalot. When we checked in the hotel upgraded us to a two bedroom suite.
One of my favorites memories of my dad is from that trip. It was close to midnight and we were at the Virgin records store. I was running around and dad was ready to go. I was upstairs and Dad finally found me but he was on his way down the escalator.
So he turned around and ran up the down escalator. (No one on it at the time) He finally gets to the top and falls down. Right in front of a large Japanese tourist group. Who were quite obviously judging him.
The worst was first birthday after he passed. I had fun, but I don't remember it. In fact I don't remember much for a few months after he passed. lovelesschristine
I cried and cried....
My tenth birthday. We were having a pool party at my house for my birthday. My birthday is during the summer when we were out of school so not many people normally came to my birthday parties. That year I wanted all my friends there and I had remained in better contact with them after we got out for summer break. So I had about twelve friends coming for the party.
My mother was very abusive to me while I grew up. She got stressed out about the party and wanting everything to look nice. I didn't help her as much as she wanted so she sent me to my room. I wasn't allowed out of my room to see my friends. My mother told them to take my presents back home because I didn't deserve them. I didn't get to blow out the candles or have any cake.
Everyone thought it was cruel to keep me in my room for the party. My mother was adamant that I was being punished for misbehavior. I cried and cried knowing I was missing my birthday party. After the party was over I had to remain in my room. Later that evening she told me that my gift was not having to clean up after the party was over. skyscan1
Not so happy.
My worst birthday was when I turned 16 and my family let me choose the restaurant we ate at. They then made fun of me for what I ordered and took turns telling old embarrassing stories about me. Then while eating a close friend of my texted me that he's going to the hospital because he took a bunch of pills. vPaladin81
I still severely suffer from this experience.Giphy
My brother died in a car accident, the 4th December in the night (~11pm). The next day I was waked up by cops at 2 am to ask me to confirm the identity of my dead brother . 2 days later my brother's girlfriend committed suicide (the day of my birthday). The funeral was only several days after the new year.
I still severely suffer from this experience. Chicano-
It was my 14th birthday and nobody in my family was around, my siblings were all out and my parents were on vacation, neither my family nor my friends called or texted me a happy birthday, I called up 2 girls (lets call them A & B) I was friends with (who also forgot it was my birthday) I asked them to a movie, so I walked about 3 miles and met up with them at a movie theater. I paid for all our tickets and I paid for all their food, so we got into the theater and Girl A's boyfriend was there with his friend who Girl B found attractive.
They all started a conversation to which I was left out of, during the movie they only paid attention to the 2 guys, about halfway through the movie I walked off, unnoticed (of course) and I began walking home, now broke and forgotten I got to experience a 3 mile walk home at 9pm in the pouring rain. IdellOdowd
My 11th, not only did my Aunty die but I got my period. This birthday was especially bad because in my country when someone dies it's incredibly common to stay with your ENTIRE family (extended family and family friends) and spend the entire week with their deceased body. Let's just say little me was a bit to shy to ask FOR A LIL FEMALE HELP. the hormones and mood switches were driving me crazy. Swello-Fello
This might make sense but it was my best and worst birthday. It's my 14th birthday and I invited most of my friends, but only two came to the party. I blew out the candles and both of them threw cake at my face and we ended up throwing cake at each other and laughing and smiling. After that we jumped into a pond and cleaned off and we raced back and forth seeing who could go across the pond the fasted. I was very sad that only two of my friends came, but it was still a lot of fun because they made it better. kai__kai_
My 18th probably fits into both. Had probably my best birthday having a good time with both friends and family. Definitely became my worst when after my birthday dinner my parents broke up after 20 years of marriage. They are still separated. Slater-Slater
I think my best birthday was my 30th. Just a great party, loads of shots. A real good time.
My worst birthday just happened ~2 weeks back. My fiancee, myself and our toddler were all down for the count with coronavirus. Not much of a party :P at least we all recovered. Barl0we
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
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Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.
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