If there's one thing we can rely on marvelous parents for, besides love, support, healthcare, a house, food, and clothing, is to remember us at out lowest. Mistakes are easy to make and, thankfully, good parents are there to pick us back up, dust us off, and make fun of us for the rest of our lives.
Reddit user, u/unsanemaker, wanted the best of our worst when they asked:
What is something you did long ago that your parents still bring up today?
Do You Know...?
When my brother was really little he was really into WWF and WWE. He wanted to be a wrestler and he started calling himself "the muscle man" but he couldn't pronounce "muscle" so it came out "muffin".
We still call him the muffin man, hes 27.
Get The Point?
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Ugh. When I dated an...interesting... guy for a bit in high school. He was really into swords. Every new guy I meet, the first thing they say is... But how many swords does he have? They think they're pretty damn funny.
If he had enough time to go out with you he wasn't studying the blade enough.
Good point! Unfortunately I wasn't sharp enough back then to get a handle on things.
I Can Hit The Point. I Promise.
Throwing a dart into my brothers bare foot because I convinced myself I was good enough to throw it exactly between his toes.
This...Feels Like Their Fault
A few years ago I was eating dinner with my mom and brother and started choking on a piece of food. Couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. I fell out of my chair and writhed on the floor before managing to dislodge the food.
The entire time my mom and brother laughed because they thought I was joking, and then yelled at me for not letting them know I was choking. Almost four years later if I even remotely choke on anything they remind me to fall onto the floor so that they know I'm being serious.
Yeah. This Makes Sense.
I didn't get to walk in my high school graduation. Had to go to 2 weeks of summer school (over some bullsh-t, but whatever). I've graduated college, graduated graduate school, walked at all of them just for my mom.
I'm now a full time college professor and my mom STILL holds not walking in my high school graduation over my head.
Can't Argue With Science
When I was turning like 5 or 6 my mom joked that she was taking away my birthday because I was growing up too fast. I freaked out because I'm a kid and I love my birthday.
Now I'm 27 and every year on my birthday she says I'm a year younger because she took away my birthday that one time.
A Perfectly Good Dirt Snack
When I was 6 or 7, I was outside playing on our swing set. As I was swinging, I was looking at the ground and saw a fruit snack. It was covered in dirt but I stopped swinging, picked it up, blew the dirt off, and was about to stick it in my mouth when suddenly I hear my mom banging on the dining room window, motioning me to come inside. She told me if I wanted a fruit snack I just needed to ask and then she gave me a pack of them.
She has told this story to every friend or boyfriend I've ever introduced her to. It's not even that funny or great of a story. But it's the one story she has that she thinks will embarrass me. But I was a kid, and I saw a fruit snack.
Of course I was going to try to eat it.
Do You Know A Better Way?
Whenever my parents are talking with other parents about shenanigans pulled by young children my dad likes to bring up the time he came home from work to see 3 year old me up on the kitchen counter, with an entire package of cinnamon raisin bagels having been split in half and de-raisined. He asked me what I was doing and I very proudly exclaimed "I'm eating raisins!"
That's Quite A Technique
I was trying to perform the Heimlich maneuver on my sister to show our dad what I had learned that day in school but instead, I was just...violently humping her back because I didn't know you were supposed to tighten your arms around the diaphragm.
To this day they call it the "Humpback Maneuver"
A Bite To Forget
when I was younger (at least 4 years old), we were at Disneyland [Paris] with my cousins family. when walking around the park, I got tired and my uncle decided to give me a piggy back ride. I don't remember doing this but apparently to my dad, he hear my uncle shout "OW!", when questioned, my uncle said I had bit his ear. full on bit his ear.
Showing The Goods
A bit late but my parents love to tell the story about a young boi (me) standing naked at our window. The window is directly at a main traffic road.
Best part is I did it because my twin gave me 5 bucks. The call from the neighbours my mom received were worth it I [guess]
Stroganoff? No, Never Again.
When I was around 12 I decided to cook dinner and dessert for my Mum's birthday. For main I cook beef stroganoff, we sit down to eat and it is...completely inedible. Mum is asking me questions trying to work out where it went so wrong. Turns out when the recipe called for a cup of stock, it DID NOT mean a cup of stock powder straight from the tin.
Thinking dessert would salvage the night I dish up golden syrup dumplings (with ice cream). Instead of the dumplings being soft and delicious, they are more like golden golf balls. No spoon could break them. I used plain flour instead of self raising flour. The ice cream was great. Mum still laughs and imitates me resting my head in the table in defeat. It happened nearly 20 years ago and I will not ever live it down.
I have not made beef stroganoff since.
Confusing Swimming With Something Else
My dad played with a travel softball team throughout my childhood. I went to surrounding states all of the time for his games. We were at a hotel pool when I was three, about to head inside. My mom was holding my newborn little sister, and she and my dad were talking to one of my dad's teammates. When I was younger, I was obsessed with swimming, and I snuck back into the water.
I was holding my breath and underneath, and I also didn't know how to swim. My dad jumps into the pool fully clothed, yanks me up, and asks me, "What were you doing?!" I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I was swimming!" Not missing a beat, he told me, "You weren't swimming, you were drowning!" I can't go around a body of water without this story being brought up.
You Just Need The Right Motivation, Is All
My brother and I were in the playroom and I was laying on the mat on my tummy maybe two metres away from my brother. He then went into the kitchen to ask my mum for a knife and fork and when my mum came back down with him she saw me laying next to the plate grabbing at the pancakes. My mum then asked my brother "____ did you move your sister over here?" And my brother replied "no she was on the mat". I crawled for the first time, towards pancakes. This gets brought up every time we have pancakes.
Time Is Nothing To Kids
When I was a kid, like 4-5, I apparently walked up to my parents and said "I broke my arm falling from a tree when I was 23."
So when I turned 23, any time I'd climb they'd make jokes about it.
I keep reminding them it was PAST TENSE. Past lives and sh-t.
Confusion As To What We Are
When my brother was 5 and I was 3, we were at the YMCA swimming pool, and out of nowhere, my brother says really loud, "Dad? Are we Mexican?" Now, my brother and I are biracial, so we look Mexican, but we aren't.
The ENTIRE pool went silent as my dad had to explain to my brother that we weren't.
"I made it and it was mine."
That when I was learning to use the toilet I never wanted to flush my poop down because "I made it and it was mine." My mom's absolute FAVOURITE story of me...
It's All. Your. FAULT.
My Jewish mother still reminds me how she was in labor for 10 hours before I was born.
It's like it was my fault, and that I had some control over it. She says "You don't remember, but it's the truth". Of course I don't remember, Ma!
That's just the typical Jewish guilt machine working its wonders.
A Funeral To Never Forget
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So when I was 6-7, we were visiting Georgia cause one of my uncles was dying. It was a really solemn affair, not a lot of fun, and sort of a miserable time for everyone. So little me, a bit bored, and looking for something to get my mind off of things, started chasing their cat around because I loved cats. A lot. Like in that little kid way that cats hate, where you just pick them up in a bear hug and squeeze them until they claw at you to get away.
So I'm chasing this cat, and it runs through its cat tunnel on the cat scratch post/palace thing it had. Obviously, I launch myself flat out into this thing after it, and wedge my arms against myself with my elbows, and my hands just stuck right in front of my face. I made it about halfway through the tunnel.
I struggled for like 20 minutes by myself trying to get out, and man, I'm just STUCK. So finally I started crying, and my family heard and came over. I'm all embarrassed cause I can't get out, and they're just laughing like crazy. Finally, my oldest brother says, "I'll get him out!" grabs me by the ankles, and with all his might His 13 year old self could muster, yanks my jeans clean off.
My whitey-tightey bums just out there for to see. I was mortified, and they just laughed and laughed. Like several of them fell onto the ground laughing. They did finally rescue me by pulling my hands through, so I wasn't so wedged in there. I guess all in all, it helped them get some laughter in a sucky time. It gets brought up from time to time, but really it's fine.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.