If you haven't experienced a true rock bottom, consider yourself lucky. Feeling hopeless and depressed is no bueno. But once you're out of it, you become grateful for being able to live a fulfilling life. Here are some success stories of leaving rock bottom behind.
u/justsananth asked: [Serious] How have you managed to recover from your lowest point in your life?
A good list.
- I put down drugs and alcohol, after quite a struggle. They were my (short term and not a good one) solution to my inner issues I couldn't seem to face. Numbing emotions and thoughts is not dealing with them.
- used my time with a clear head to sit down, do a LOT of listening to wisdom I had previously written off, or just didn't accept because of my negative views. I began to dig deep and find out what was so wrong in my life - basically, understand what was causing me disharmony - the idea that the way the world IS, what I want in the world, and how I view the world weren't jiving together. When they all match up, you're in harmony.
- began a program of self care that I had previously given absolutely no shits about. Eating well and regularly, getting exercise, going to a doctor/dentist instead of putting it off, taking care of bills/legal shit promptly, MEDITATION, and taking time for my interests instead of working as much as possible.
- reconnecting with people in my life, whether that be old friends, people I see every day, or even strangers in public. Bonding with people is very important, and was hard at first - I was so used to isolating. But I forced myself.
- I started giving of myself wherever possible, so long as it didn't hurt me. Acts of charity, of any kind, are a great way to feel purposeful, and damn good about yourself. Helping others helps us. However, it's important this isn't done as a way to avoid focus on solving your own problems, which was a big issue of mine.
- Look for a group of some kind you can be a part of. This could be a group of people who do outside activities, like hiking biking or rock climbing. Kayaking. Or a group who plays board games. Just something where people are committed to being there, and foster a sense of community. Positivity is important.
- I stayed committed to certain principles, like trying to make the best decisions for myself that I could. Previously I was very self destructive. I'm trying to root that out.
- Lastly, trying my hardest to stay positive under all circumstances. I was terribly negative. This includes how I think about myself, as well as the words I speak to others. If it's not helpful, I try not to say it. The hardest part of this is my humor - I've been negatively sarcastic for so long, it's a very hard habit to break.
Oh yeah - I started forcing myself to ask for help. If you were trying to carry a railroad tie you couldn't move alone, you'd ask for help. Same goes for what's going on mentally and emotionally. IF YOU CANT CARRY THE LOAD ALONE, ASK FOR HELP. Sooooo hard to do, and yet, so god damn easy.
A true success story.
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I did a PhD and got hired at a very large state school. I was hired to direct a very niche program, and I'd spent much of my life dreaming about having the job. Two years later, I was burned out, had the start of a drinking problem, and realized I couldn't do it. In December I went to the department chair and resigned, effective the end of that school year. During the conversation I found out that if I hadn't resigned, they were going to fire me.
It was the low point because I'd wanted the dream job, I'd worked hard to earn the dream job, and then I'd failed at the dream job and had to figure out what next.
Since I'd had a TA teaching position in grad school, I had the credentials to teach a core class, so I landed a job at a much smaller college, a podunk in the middle of nowhere, because it paid enough that I didn't have to move back in with mom. This is where I began to recover.
Recovery consisted of just showing up every day and focusing on what was in front of me. For the first year, I tried to decide what my life was really going to be -- I did a semester in an MBA program then dropped out; I considered taking the LSAT and going to law school, but realized that would be a train wreck. Eventually, I tried to put it out of my mind and just wait for something to develop.
One day, a student said to me, "You are the happiest person I know." I was dumbfounded. "What do you mean, happy? I'm not happy." She said "Oh yes you are. You're always whistling, and you're relaxed about things, and you're always excited when other people have good news, and you say goofy things to keep our attention. You're just really a happy person."
That conversation stuck with me. Sixteen years later, I can still remember her face, and the exact spot I was standing in when we had that talk. I started to think, Maybe I am happy. Maybe this is what my life is going to be. Maybe that's not so bad. I leaned into teaching, and starting actively trying to improve at it, and over the couple of years that followed, I woke up to the realization that teaching is really meaningful and satisfying, and that if I worked at it, I could grow into a halfway decent teacher.
Today I teach at a tiny liberal arts college with minimal research expectations. I love my students and I love what I do every day. Friends of mine thought I was crazy when I resigned from the R1 without another job lined up, and a few told me for years and years that if I'd worked hard enough, I could've held on to that job. If I had, today I would be bitter and miserable. I'd doubtless make a lot more money, but it would in no way have been worth it. Losing the dream job is the best thing that could have happened to me.
This is so wholesome.
You're killing it! Instead of laying in bed another day and just crying, you got on here and you asked for help.
You already overcame your lowest point! I'm so proud of you. That takes guts.
Maybe now you're still at rock bottom, but you're standing up. Tomorrow, you might have the strength to start looking up. The next day, you start thinking about a plan to get out. No action needed; just imagine all of your ways out.
Keep asking for help and you'll be amazed at the tools people will throw down here to help you out.
Everyone has been here or will be here. Remember that there is no better solid foundation on which to rebuild yourself than rock bottom.
You can be whoever you want now. You can get different friends and start over without explaining why, even from right here on Reddit. You can start helping others out of their rock bottoms.
Talk to people and let the village hoist you up, my friend!
We are brothers in our lowest point. You are not alone and your future is bright!
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...Appreciate what's around you.
As cheesy as it can sound, fall in love with the little things. Appreciate the rain, certain sounds or smells, how the light makes things look like or such. When there's not much to grab on, those little things help to keep going.
I also decided to never make expectations on things, events nor people. Just live as it comes.
Make your surroundings prettier, clean your room, put always fresh clothes. Make small changes to like the place you live in or you spent most of your time.
Treat yourself well, be kind to yourself. Eat well, fresh and healthy food in adequate portions.
Surround yourself with people that are a plus in your life, that care about you and are real friends. I recently learned to not seek unhealthy relationships and that sometimes its okay to break contact with people that are not good for you. Choose your friends wisely.
Something good came out of it.
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Started fostering... My husband passed away and I had an empty house. When everything goes bad/wrong the best way out is to focus on someone else. Your issues begin to pale.
So much can change in five years.
Felt pretty lonely and super unhealthy. Got on my bike and started riding. Lost 30 kilos. Met a girl on Tinder, dated, moved in together, bought land, built a house, got married (currently on my honeymoon).
It's been a wild 5 years.
DO THIS.
I got laid off, took the first job I was offered. It sucked, but it was a paycheck.
I then applied for two to three jobs EVERY DAY.
I worked my day job. But my real job was finding a new job.
And got it.
I've been with my new job for 5 months and I love it.
Solid advice.
Just gotta accept it. Life is life and there ain't shit you can do about it unfortunately. I've learned to accept life they way it comes. When you die you take nothing with you. Why lay on you're death bed eaten up by the sh*t you can't control. Take a shot, drag a bowl. Maybe cry a little bit, but you gotta move on and push forward to the next adventure.
DBT is life-saving.
I had a couple low points over the last five years. Suffered from severe depression and un-diagnosed BPD during the course of getting my PhD in physics. I self-harmed for years and had more than a few suicidal episodes. Now, six months out from getting my doctorate, grad school still sucks but I'm feeling much better and motivated to finish because I'm excited about the life waiting for me after I'm done.
My best friend noticed when things started to go downhill for me and urged me to go to therapy. He's been there for me every step of the way and I'm so grateful for him. I got a great therapist but after three years of seeing her and thinking I was improving but then going downhill again, I had about had enough. I had more good moments than bad but I was so convinced that I should be recovered by now that the bad moments were even worse than before. On a good day I signed myself up for a dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) program, and immediately regretted it- I don't need this, what am I doing? But it's been such a huge help.
Some gems that I learned in this program: life is worth living even with pain in it. That's very important and I had spent a lot of time in the past thinking that this wasn't true. You ultimately have to be motivated to improve your situation for yourself, though. I had spent too long living for other people and that wasn't going to get me anywhere. Another one: your emotions are always valid. Always. That doesn't mean that you can't change your emotions, or that you need to act on them if it's going to make the situation worse.
I had a lot of help from my friends and professionals along the way, but the real turning point happened when I started to motivate myself to get better. That's not to say that you can just wake up one day and say "I don't want to be depressed anymore" and expect to be cured. You just need to want to get better in order for therapy to really work.
TL;DR I recovered with a combination of extensive therapy, support from my friends, and self-motivation. No one of those things would have worked on its own.
Never give up.
Time, effort, professional help and plenty of soul-searching. You seriously would try many things - if not everything under the sun, to make yourself feel better and recover. Plus the method and need changes based on the day - sometimes having people around helps tremendously while other days being alone (not brooding alone mind you) helps more than having company.
All I can say is never give up and that there is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. It's not easy nor will it be a fast journey, but hopefully you get through to the other side and find contentment and relief.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.