People are oblivious, heck we're all oblivious on a day to day basis, we can miss things so simply.
Who hasn't searched and searched for their glasses only to realize.... you're wearing them?!!
We all believe we are astute creatures that relish detail but weeks can go by before you realize the obvious.
Redditor Riryiskool wanted everyone to divulge a few interesting tales about times people seemed shockingly oblivious by asking:
"What was your 'How didn't they notice?' moment?"
"I am a high school teacher in California and while explaining something, I accidentally drew a huge penis on my board. Confirmed not one kid noticed." ~ driveaforkliftGiphy
"I used to do customer service for a video game (can't give details; don't wanna get sued) wherein I responded to email tickets. Before sending a ticket, you were required to create an internal note wherein you documented their response and what your response was going to be, plus any additional necessary info to help conduct a search."
"Once, I wrote in the internal describing their message saying, "Customer sent me a bunch of useless crap" Because, well, they had. After repeated clear instructions, they failed to send me the correct info. So I typed it to unleash the rage, thought I deleted it, then the next day I come in and see I have a response, and I go to start a new internal note, and realize I had, in fact, left that line fully in the previous internal note (which can't be deleted or edited)."
"Meaning that if anyone from the company or my workplace saw it, well, I'd be in a lot of crap. Thankfully, I did this around the holidays and we were swamped with other issues, so no one did any audits of tickets that week. Needless to say, I never played around with that again." ~ blizzaga1988
No one else saw!
"I was buying weed a few years ago. I pulled up to an apartment complex and was waiting for the weed dude when a window in the apartment in front of me opened. A second later a little girl(maybe 10-12) crawled out. I was 21 so and buying weed so my thought was, do I yell up, no she could fall, catch her nope there's bushes under there."Giphy
"Then she jumped to the balcony next to the window, climbs over the railing, and tries to open the door, but she's locked out. She knocked and some irresponsible/seemingly confused parent opens it and lets her in! No one else saw!" ~ 843OG
"I was in class of 25 students and spilled tea on my new laptop. I said "DAMN!!!" decently loudly and ran my laptop to the bathroom. No one remembered seeing me spill the tea, hearing me say damn, or seeing me leave the class." ~ litttlebits
In the Navy...
"Went through an entire enlistment (in the navy) in a way where people thought I was dumb and I didn't bother to correct them. I let them think I was not able to fix things because they only assumed shit instead of actually asking me. I made E5 on the 2nd try and damn near the entire command was confused as hell."
"I was an ET and the entire exam was on specifics about equipment maintenance and repair. To this day I get to talk to old crew members and they bring up how I've fooled everyone into thinking I knew nothing so that they wouldn't bother me or wake me up from sleep to fix some stuff." ~ alexromo
"I used to have long hair and my granny hated it. The day after I cut my hair (lost about 8 inches) I went to lunch with her and not only did she not notice but when I pointed it out to her she didn't believe me until I showed her a photo of me from a week prior." __ace_p
"My boyfriend and I initially started dating in high school. Our friend group was me and a bunch of guys, and I was relatively new to the group, and worried I'd become "his girlfriend" if we went public too quickly, so we kept it quiet. We later stopped caring, but it was too far in to make an announcement without seeming weird, so we decided to just admit everything if anyone ever asked, but not bring it up ourselves."Giphy
"Well, we weren't the couple that was all over each other in public, but we were fairly affectionate, always sitting next to each other, talking somewhat privately, playfully poking and all that. We would also hold hands on our way out of school, when we didn't see anyone around. That last one is what nearly caused problems the most."
"Regularly someone would come up behind us and say hi, and we'd quickly drop our hands. They never seemed to notice, shockingly (Our friends were really oblivious). We figured that they were probably noticing, but not saying anything."
"Until one day. Somehow a conversation arose about how some people are closer in our group than others. Both of our names are mentioned, and they all say that we seem like close friends. Somehow they all noticed we were close but never put two and two together. I know this because of the shock they experienced when they finally properly found out. We're still together, by the way." ~ Thunderflamequeen
he Comics Way....
"I straight up stole like, 40 comic book treasuries from a box in a locked attic space by my parents bedroom and kept them in my closet for years without getting caught. (Dad decided that Calvin and Hobbes was a bad influence and banned all comics from the house for two years.)"
"My parents caught me literally every other time I disobeyed them. In college I lied about which train I took and got yelled at because the times I was texting didn't match up to when the train was predicted to arrive at certain stops. (Mom thought I'd get rape-murdered if I took the CTA to Chinatown. She wanted me to make my friends wait at their apartment while I took the Metra down to them, and then take the CTA with the group up to Chinatown. I was 21 and it was the middle of the afternoon.)"
"But they didn't notice I'd taken the comics. And I know they weren't just letting me get away with that one because a couple of years ago my mom tried to claim the ban did help me behave better at school, and was not happy when I informed her that couldn't be true; I stole back the comics almost immediately. (Specifically, I stole the books right after being told that my attempt to earn them back with good behavior proved they were influencing me and therefore I wouldn't get them back for a year.)" ~ _Green_Kyanite_
3 teenagers who can't even walk straight
"A few years ago, my friends and I were drunk as heck stumbling down the street to a McDonalds. My best friend pulls out his penis and starts peeing and walking at the same time. While this is happening, a cop passes by and gets stuck at the light about 10 yards away from us."
"Literally all he had to do was look to his left and he would have seen 3 teenagers who can't even walk straight laughing their butts off because one is walking and peeing. Very grateful he didn't look. My life would be a LOT different if he had caught us." 69mi
"I absolutely DESTROYED this thing at an old job of mine. I nervously looked around because my co-workers were all over the place and it was LOUD. But no one looked. I managed to compose myself, clean it all up and make it seem like nothing had happened, then finished the rest of my day. A week passed before they casually brought up that everyone knew and saw what happened but didn't want to help me." TommFGiphy
"In high school I got pulled over for doing just a whole bunch of stuff (mostly related to trying to get away from the cop). He asked me why I did it and I said I was trying to get home by curfew at 1:00. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was already like 3:00 so I changed my story. Just got a warning!" ~ redditaccounts2020
"One day my sister mentioned in front of my dad that she'd been helping me rearrange furniture at my house. Mentions my boyfriend. My dad is all surprised: 'you and your boyfriend sleep in the same room?!'"
"...by that point, we'd been living together for six years. It was my bf's house. My parents had been over DOZENS of times. Where did they think I slept?"
"'Oh, we assumed you slept in the guest room. By yourself.'"
"EDIT: My family is Asian."Giphy
The Test is Positive.
"I went for a job interview when I was six months pregnant. I wore a fitted pencil skirt and a fitted short blazer over the top. To my eyes the pregnancy was obvious, I was very slim and I had a belly that poked out at the front, well defined by the fitted outfit I wore. They didn't ask anything about it during the interview so I assumed they were okay with it and didn't volunteer it."
"Got the job and on the first day, at orientation, I got introduced to two other women who had been hired the same day for other roles in the admin office I was in (one was accounting assistant, one was admin co-ordinator, and I was admin assistant/receptionist)."
"The two other women were also pregnant (one looked enormously so) and as it turned out we were all due within the same week. The woman who hired us said to me happily that they were very excited to have us all start, and I would be getting trained by the new admin co-ordinator so I could take over some of her responsibilities when she went on maternity leave."
"I had to tell them that I was also very pregnant as well and would be needing to go on leave at the same time as the other two girls. The organization was stunned and didn't know what on they were going to do when we all went on leave. Fortunately they were very comfortable with me coming back to work and bring my baby with me after two months off. It worked out great and I stayed working there for around eight years. Incidentally all three of us gave birth within a day of each other hahaha." ~ Trin20k
Hide & Seek is Hard.
"I was playing hide and seek at a friend's with her younger nieces. I was a teenager and not super committed to playing games with a couple of eight year olds, and as a joke I put myself in a corner between a wall and a bookshelf, picked up a pillow off the bed, and held it in front of my face. I was immediately visible once you cleared the doorway - I'm not a small person, and from the chest down I was just a person standing, completely unobstructed."
"The kids came through, looked right at me, and kept searching with growing confusion. The friend, my age, came in behind them thinking I'd gotten somewhere in the closet, and I had to actually wave to catch her attention. Her dad even came through to join the hunt, and I had to actually clear my throat to get him to notice me. Nobody was able to spot me on their own. I was just standing in plain sight holding a pillow in front of my face, but nobody noticed."
"Once everybody figured it out they were in hysterics - no one believed I'd been just standing there the entire time, they were certain that I had been hiding elsewhere in the house and then got caught after I'd moved. Nope. Y'all just can't see!" ~ healthycopingmech
"When I was about 13 I shaved my little brother's eyebrow off. I don't know why. I panicked and drew it back on with a marker with little hope that I would get away with it and avoid my mom's anger. Somehow I got through the first day, then the first week, every day getting ready for school and re-drawing his eyebrow on with a marker to hide it from my mom. After a couple weeks it had largely grown back and I realized that by some miracle I got away with it. Years later I came clean to my mom and she still refuses to believe that she didn't notice." ~ tj_w
I felt like a ninja.
"Cue me and the boys playing Hide n' Seek Senior Year. It's nighttime. Dark. It had previously rained. The only light is from streetlights and my friend's garage. Friend A counts to 20 in the garage, we all scatter around the outside of his house and a bit further to some other houses."Giphy
"I decide to hide not ten feet away, in the shadow of an AC unit right outside the garage. I was wearing full black, and I pulled my hood down to cover my entire face. I was in a crouched fetal position."
"I heard Friend A walk past me about five times, from both directions. I peaked once and he even glanced directly my way. I was in plain sight. I felt like a ninja." ~ CheesyfaceChase
"My hair used to be extremely long. Like all the way down my back.On a whim, I decided to cut off most of it, and rock a rather short haircut. I walked around my parents place for over an hour before they actually noticed." ~ P0ster_Nutbag
I was the one who didn't notice.
"I was the one who didn't notice. My now-husband, way back in the early days of our dating, replaced our giant, bulky, old CRT TV with a nice, new flat screen with his Christmas bonus. He did not tell me any of this. I came home from work one day, wandered past the tv and him playing video games, into the bedroom, back past the tv, then the kitchen."
'Took me a good 45 minutes before I went " wait something is different and I don't know what." He still had to point out to me that what was different was the old TV was missing!" ~ sunshineandcloudyday
"In boot camp when it was lights out, many of the other recruits wouldn't sleep and would try to monologue to us about whatever. I wanted to sleep (since we always wake up at 5am) and they kept us awake 'til midnight with their debates... At the top of my damn lungs I yelled bloody murder "SHUT THE HECK UP!!!"... This went on for a while."
"Then I started doing it earlier and earlier and towards the end I didn't even wait for lights out. No one besides my rack mates knew it was me, no one else ever figured out my voice or where it was coming from. My rack makes got a huge kick from it and well they kept it real because we needed our 4 to 6 hours of sleep." ~ alexromo
"My friend came to work wearing new glasses one day and when she was showing them off to me I mentioned that I was surprised because I had no idea she needed glasses. She had been wearing glasses most days (on and off) for a YEAR since we started working together. Multiple people confirmed this when I didn't quite believe her. Maybe I need glasses." ~ Reddit
"Photoshopping notes of doctors for high school to excuse myself for hundreds of missed hours." ~ MarkusPhiGiphy
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They say you can never have enough of a good thing, but we all know there's plenty of stuff that you'd like to just go, "Oh, no thank you" about and that would be that.
Unfortunately, that pretty much never actually works.
Try telling the electric company "no thanks" when the way too high bill comes, or just putting up a hand to decline work for the next week or so because you're just kind of over it.
Consequences and repercussions, folks. But you've got to admit some stuff would just be better if it was... less.
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At WorkExcited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Average work hours"
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
"My nose hair."
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
Lines For FunEpisode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Lines at any amusement park."
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
"You took the words right out my mouth"
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
RestTired Baby GIFGiphy
"The amount of time you need to sleep"
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
"Supreme court appointments."
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
NFLCollege Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
Life is a mystery full of mysteries.
Some we'll finally get, some will stay a conundrum forever.
Sometimes no matter how much we study or agonize over a piece of information, it just doesn't click.
But that's okay, we're all here to commiserate.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy
"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
"How consciousness works."
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
10/10So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.SRole Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
"The wave-particle duality."
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
MagicRoss Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
We all want to attain it.
Some people dedicate their lives to having it.
But who can say what is and is not attractive?
The older you get, the more serious and realistic you get with the topic.
And grapple with whether it really matters.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy
"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Oof...Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy
"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
God I hated picture day. Still do.
FreshBad Hair GIF by TV LandGiphy
"Solid 5. 6 on a good day with a fresh haircut."
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
Boy Magnetichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy
"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.
Humans rarely agree on anything anymore.
So it's refreshing when an agreement is reached among peers.
Even if it's usually about simple or dumb stuff.
RedditorBertarioni85wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
PerfectRobert Redford Nod GIFGiphy
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
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"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
Wow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twicetalking episode 15 GIFGiphy
"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Sticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
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"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.