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We can all be honest with ourselves here. 93% of the Internet's existence is due to the existence of pets and the funny things they do. No longer are we forced to go to the office and do our best to explain what funny thing Sasha did when she heard her food can open, but the fact this imaginary story could be applied to cats, dogs, or gerbils is what makes pets so awesome.


Reddit user, u/Khajurii, wanted to peek into the humor of our pets when they asked:

Pet owners of reddit, what is the biggest flex your pet attempted?

Pet Steps

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One of my dogs used the other dog as a stepping stool to climb up on the couch.

Straight up walked up the one laying next to the couch to get up there. Just blatant disrespect.

nhstadt

If There's An Obstacle In Your Way, Get Rid Of It

I have a potbellied pig named Luau. I was outside on my patio working on a craft project while I let him run around the yard. He kept coming up and bumping against the table to see if I had a treat or would pet him and messing me up, so I put a spray bottle of water next to me. He knows it and doesn't like getting sprayed, so will stay away and exercise instead of bothering me.

I went inside for a minute, came back out and the spray bottle was way on the other side of the yard and Luau had climbed into my seat and was standing there happily wagging his little pig tail.

shiniesahoy

A Dog Can Scream??

I bought my 10lb dogs this gigantic plush bed to put on my side of the bed because I'm tired of sleeping with them, figured I'd have to babygate them there for the first few nights but nbd.

The first night it went okay, a little whining, quickly settled down and went to sleep. The second night, my girl dog, who I've had since she was a puppy, decided she was not going to stand for this inhumane mistreatment, and literally stood on her back feet and SCREAMED.

I've never heard a dog make the f-cking noise this banshee was making. I thought she was dying. I moved the babygate to get to her and she stopped screaming and hopped up on my bed and curled up like she usually does like nothing was ever wrong.

fabledangie

Go Ahead. Bark At Me. See What Happens...

My dog hardly ever barks and is very well-behaved. When we go for walks, every dog we walk past in my neighborhood barks ferociously at him.

He pees in their yards.

Only in their yards.

inkishworks

They Call This "Revenge Turd"

I have a bell hanging on my front door that my dogs ring when I need to take them out. My husky started ringing it and when I got dressed and put my shoes on, she would go lay in my spot on the bed and not go out.

Once I called her bluff and didn't get up from the bed. So she pooped on the floor. Absolute power move.

deepfriedpotatos

Sending An Important Message

I have a Blue Heeler. I was moving to Germany, and selling things on Let Go. She did not like the idea of people taking our stuff. So she started getting aggressive.

So when I saw it starting to happen, when the next customer arrived, she got put in a bedroom.

The next time a customer arrived, she grabbed a stuffed animal and put it in her mouth as if to say "I will not act like I will bite someone" AND carried the animal around in her mouth the entire time the people were there. Kids petted her, everyone thought she was so cute, etc.

For the next 2 weeks as I sold stuff, when people came over, she had a stuffed animal in her mouth ...

HardToFindAGoodUser

One time my bird was really mad about bedtime. She flew to the curtain, peeped loudly until I watched, then pooped on the curtain while looking straight at me.

She was poop trained and definitely knew what she was *doing...

DaughterEarth

How Dare You Go On Vacation?

My rabbit when I went out of town for a weekend. I lined up someone to stay with her. I was just heading back to my house when I got the call to get home NOW because the rabbit was acting weird. Listless, turning down treats.... all things that point to the beginnings of GI Stasis which is bad.

I get home and sit with her for about 20 min. Yep, she's showing signs. Get her to the emergency vet.

$300 for the vet to tell me her diagnosis: drama queen. The rabbit was just upset that I wasn't home.

Decoupagetheworld

An Everyday Greeting

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This is definitely my fault because I've encouraged it but it's still funny. Everyday I come home from work and give my two kids a hug or a pat on the head or some show of affection.

The dog will whine and follow me around the house until I drop to both knees on the floor and give him a hug.

mrjabrony

Important Clarification

I showed my new hamster to my best friend and he started pulling his own poop out of his butt with his teeth and threw it at us.

The hamster.

Not the friend.

AdditionalTangerine6

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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