Rumors are usually not smart to begin with. Making up a story about someone and then spreading that juicy bit of gossip-people can only get so creative with lies.
Sometimes it's straight up so dumb that why bother to correct them? Surely anybody with half a brain could see through these.
Here were those stories.
That I was dead. Was late getting back to uni so my 'buddies' decided it'd be funny to tell people I'd been killed in Europe. The story started with 'killed in an accident' and blossomed to 'got a girl pregnant, wouldn't marry her, decided to marry her, killed in an accident'.
One girl I knew actually believed it and cried when we bumped into each other. Had no idea she cared.
At Least The Principal Didn't Believe It
That my parents were drug dealers, and they involved me in selling drugs at my elementary school.
What actually happened was that I gave my friends a dollar each from my lunch money so we could all buy cookies. Somehow the rumor spread all the way to the principal, so he dragged me to his office and lectured me about not giving my money away in front of other people.
Now Maybe They'd Believe It
I was once sick for an entire week of 9th grade. Somehow it spread that I went to Hawaii. Even a teacher made a comment. I have no idea how the heck that started and nobody would tell me why they thought it because they thought i was just being cheeky by denying it
I Was Always Scottish
I moved from Scotland to England at like 13, I had a thick accent and I got a lot of flack for it so almost subconsciously I slowly started to like fake an English accent, was really stupid as I'd flip back to Scottish as soon as I got home..
After I left school I dropped the accent but by that time the majority of people I knew in the small town I was in, had met me as English Spliffwizard so when I'd see people they'd be like wtf happened to you!? Why are you suddenly Scottish!? I used to just make things up like "I had a voice transplant an' this is all they had" but eventually it stopped.
Roll on a few years and I'm back in town havin' a drink with some mates, I get talking to 2 guys and when I mention my name one is like "oh you're that guy who pretends to be Scottish" and so now apparently there's a fable around the town of some English kid who one day was just like I'm Scottish now.... and the kid is me. Class
Pure Evil, Perhaps?
This was spread by an adult in a volunteer organization I was part of. Me, happily married, running for a leadership position. Her, many years married to someone running for one of the other positions. Apparently she didn't want me on the leadership team because she told people I had the hots for her husband? Who was, bless his heart, a nice guy, but homely.
I respected what he'd done to achieve leadership in the organization, but could not have been more uninterested in that aspect of him if he had been a cow pattie. I didn't know anything about this until after I lost the election. She also started a rumor about two other adults who were friendly, but not doing anything untoward.
Unfortunately the wife of the man believed that rumor and it totally ruined a number of relationships and events because she wouldn't permit them to attend the same meeting or event. I never understood what motivated that person to spread those types of rumors.
When I was in grade one some girls thought it would be funny to tell everyone I had 'boy private parts' which upset me greatly. I don't remember this but my mother has told me that during an assembly I was talking with the people around me and it was brought up and I felt the need to stand up and pull down my pants and undies in front of everyone. I cringe every time I think about it.
When I was 21 and in college, I worked with a boy who was a senior in high school. His girlfriend broke up with him about two weeks before prom for another guy. I offered to go with him. The girl was dumped by her new boyfriend a few days before prom and wanted my coworker to take her to prom, but he said no, as he was going with an 'older woman.'
At prom, I was quite the topic of conversation. This girl had come by our store when I was working, and she and her friend told everyone I was a wench who had multiple children with multiple baby daddies.
I don't even go here! Anyway, prom was nice, dinner before was great, and after the dance I went home (alone) and had many legal drinks in my child free house.
I'm Here, Though
In middle school some sub that no one knew that looked like a narc pulled me from class because of a family issue, walked me out of the school to my mom. Somehow this turned into the sub being a cop, and it being a cop car, and I was in trouble for something. One rumor a few weeks later was that I had gotten in trouble for bringing tons of huge guns to school or something. I was like guys, I'm still at school, I told you what happened....
This Is What We Call Attempted Murder
It wasn't mine, but my friend is allergic to peanuts and someone started a rumor that he was lying. So, someone waved a peanut butter sandwich in front of him. That started a allergic reaction. We were in 5th grade.
Ah, We Love Racism
In middle school someone started a rumour that I was a voodoo priestess (stereotypical Hollywood voodoo, nothing like the real thing). I'm white and live in Canada. People believed it, they'd shriek and run when they saw me, at the end of one year a girl who had been nothing but awful to me asked if she could sign my yearbook and her signature was basically her pleading with me not to curse her.
Even in my first year of high school I had a few people who didn't go to my middle school walk up and ask me if it was true that I did voodoo. Thankfully it died down after that.
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