My mom sucks at giving compliments. There. I said it. I know 50 of you guys are going to forward this article to her and rat me out, so let me explain. She means well and in her mind she truly is giving a compliment. She just words things terribly, like she has this thing for pairing a compliment with a "constructive criticism." To my mom, saying something like "you're so beautiful, you'd be an absolute stunner if you lost weight" is just her telling you that she thinks you're beautiful - and have the potential to be woman-in-the-red-dress-Matrix-scene-head-turningly-distracting kind of gorgeous. All compliments! To the outside world she totally called you fat.
So I went most of my life never really hearing compliments when my mother thought she was giving them all the time. Then it happened, in ninth grade during the peak of my awkward era, I overheard her tell one of her friends that she loved the way I sang and that she knew I stayed up for hours after she sent me to bed because I would sing to myself for hours at night, but she never came in and told me to go to bed because she loved getting her own little concert.
Sure, my mom is biased - but she's also one of those painfully honest brown moms who absolutely would have told her friends if my singing voice was pure caca, ya know?
Moms are so pure, you guys.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the most kind/beautiful thing you've overheard about yourself by accident?
And yup, it's exactly as warm and fuzzy as you think it is. So come on, guys. Let's do this. Brace yourselves, we're aiming straight for your feels.
Pretty Hard Not To
I don't have a lot of coworkers (about 13 altogether and I only work directly with 4-5). But when I was in the break room I heard a few of them talking about a coworker they don't like, saying she's rude to everyone. And one of them said "She's pretty nice to [whatever my name is]." And the others said "Well, everyone likes [whatever my name is], pretty hard not to." It was hard to walk back in there and not be like LOVE YOU TOO THANKS GUYS!
- merlot-o
That Fire
My dad doesn't really compliment people. He's the quiet type that hides behind jokes and sarcasm. However, I once heard him talk to an old friend of his at a Christmas party, saying; "That's my kid right there. Pure rock n' roll, just like his old man. Never gives up, just keeps steaming on like a freight train. I tell ya, some kids just have that fire, you know?"
The World's Expert
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This isn't my story, but it's my favorite.
My college professor researched Egyptian mummified cats. He was back at the British museum looking at some cats and they had a staff shift while he was still in there. He started talking to the new guy on his way out and the guy says, "if you're interested in mummified cats, you should talk to [professor's name]. He's the world's expert in mummified cats." My professor was speechless for a moment and then said "I'm [professor's name]"
And that's how he learned he was the world's expert.
Good Job
Was home from college and my parents thought I was asleep. Heard them complimenting each other on how they "did a good job" raising me and how I had turned out really well.
Worth The Effort
I had a girl over (first time dating in years) and my roommate (female, super close friend) was there as well. Heard my roommate say "I know he's shy and a little awkward at first but give it a shot, he's super sweet and really funny once he's comfortable, he's worth the effort". Gave me a huge much needed boost since I struggle with confidence and usually don't like myself.
The Conference Call
Was on a conference call with one of our clients and they didn't know I was on it. I hadn't said anything since I was just taking notes. The client went: "It's a shame he's not on this call as I'd like him to know that he's positively changed the working life of many people and his work was much appreciated." I had to walk away and cry as it was my last day.
Happy Laugh
I was joking around with some acquaintances at a party and somebody got me with a really funny joke. I started giggling like a madman and I heard a girl on the other end of the room turn to my sister and say "I just love his laugh, It's so happy!" and she responded "I know!"
That still makes me smile when I remember.
The Honest Hottie
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Once, at a drive through, I was given an extra $20 bill change by accident. I gave it back to the clerk, and as I drove away I heard her turn to her co-worker and say "What an honest guy!"
Then I heard her co-worker say "yeah- he was really hot, too!"
I blushed so hard the whole way home with my greasy cheeseburger.
Mom Compliments Are The Best
When my Mom defends me over things I didn't think she cared about or notice. Like my weight training and powerlifting. All my siblings think it's unproductive and a waste of time because it doesn't fit into their small minded world of what a stay at home Mom should be doing.
I've heard her tell them how important it is to me and how much I love it because it's something I'm good at. I've always felt like an idiot, a screw up and s loser who could never finish anything I started. This meant a lot to me. I've heard her say stuff along the lines of somehow finding time to train and time to be a great Mom. That meant a lot because if you're a Mom, you'd understand when I say, I never feel like a good Mom even though you know damn well you're doing great. Mom guilt sucks.
I've lost 135 pounds and am on track for having a state record in all 3 squat, bench and deadlift in February. That's a fucking personal accomplishment to me. Waste of time? I'd like to tell my brothers and sisters to go jump in a lake....or go to church or go shopping or whatever the hell you do.
The Teacher Who Changed Everything
I was hospitalized for six months after a suicide attempt as a teenager. I had to go to school in the hospital. I love languages and every week a French teacher would come in and give me French lessons. She gave me an essay to write for homework and I wrote about my illness. I overheard her telling my nurse that it was a joy to correct my work. It might not seem like much, but to a 17 year old girl who felt totally worthless, it meant the whole world. I wish I could tell that teacher that I'm almost finished my degree in modern languages now.
Must Be Fate
I'm a 19-year-old virgin, no girlfriend, haven't dated anyone since last year, so I kinda feel like shit sometimes
Recently met a girl, we've been on three dates.
On our 3rd date she gave me her phone to show me something on her twitter, as I scroll down I accidentally saw a tweet from her talking about me as her crush, that we both like a particular thing and that must be fate/sign of destiny.
I acted like I didn't see sh!t, scrolled up and gave her phone back. I'm aware that being on a 3rd date means that she kinda like me, but this really comforted me and gave me a huge boost. I hope that we'll end up as a couple as I really like her.
- Hydreo
Art Critic
In my freshman year of high school, everyone put up art installments around the school for a project. Mine involved drawing these floating heads that I spent hours on though I was still really hesitant about putting it up because I didn't think it was good enough.
A few days later, I remember these older girls walked past it and one said that it scared her because she thought it was an actual person for a moment and the other said it was the best project in the school. As an insecure little pansy b*tch, that honestly gave me so much confidence and helped me feel a lot better about my art.
I was too shy to be like "Hey, that's me!" but this is something that's stuck with me for a while and makes me feel a little better from time to time.
- starsyph
All The Family He Needs
My best friends father, who was like my own father before he passed away recently. I had overheard him say "...he's a great man, way better than his dad. And if his dad can't see that then fuck him, he doesn't need him. We're all the family he needs." This was a man who wasn't opt to share his thoughts, or feelings, on the subject of my family, so it was nice to hear that I wasn't a burden to him and that he believed that my own father was a fool.
- Chrio
The Literature Assignment
I'm not sure if this counts, but I think it does. My literature class had an assignment to write a letter to someone who had affected our lives and what we wanted to say to them. We could have the letters given to them after the assignment if we wanted. After the assignment, the teacher gave me a letter from one of my friends that said how much he appreciated me as a friend and how I inspired him to have a good attitude about problems. I didn't know that anyone really even noticed or liked me at that point, and I almost cried.
Just Like Grandpa
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My parents lived with my family for a couple months, because to make a long story short, my dad got hurt at work and wouldn't be able to go back to work for at least several months.
I helped guide them through their financial situation, move out of their place into mine, and helped them make a new budget they had confidence in while my brothers and I fixed and cleaned their house for sale - all while working full time and having two kids.
My parents were a bit stressed out and very nervous, but happy someone (my brothers did quite a lot too, especially at their house, which is about 40 minutes away) could help take care of them.
Their temporary home was a big room right next to our kitchen. One day, they left the door to their room open and I overheard my mom say, "Of our three kids, they remind me most of my dad."
Which really hit me because my grandpa was a wonderfully generous person and a humble leader in every sense. He also became a self-taught engineer for a major Midwest pharmacy tech company. I named my son after him.
This 2 For 1 Compliment
In college, we were giving presentations in this one class and I gave my presentation last. After class I was in the back of a packed elevator and I overheard a girl from my class say to her friend "that last presentation was honestly pretty interesting" and her friend said "who's presentation? Oh, the one that the girl with the really good jawline gave?"
A good presentation AND a killer jawline?!? Still kind of coasting on that one a couple years later.
Princess
I was in the bathroom at the department store fixing my makeup and self. I had had a terrible day and as I was leaving, a little girl with her grandma saw me, and I overheard her say "wow that girl looks like a princess!!" Made my entire day :)
Ranting And Raving
I accidentally overheard someone describe my ranting as an orgasm for their brain.
It has been something I grab from my pocket in times of low self esteem. It felt so good to hear!!
A Christmas Angel
I was working retail and this very old lady came in. It was around Christmas time and she said that her daughter wanted a specific bracelet we sold. I asked her if she had a picture or knew what it looked like. She pulls out her flip phone and shows me a pixelated picture of a bracelet that I know we sold out of that morning. As I told her, she was heart broken. However, we can order items from our store on iPads and send it directly to her house.
As I pulled up the bracelet she wanted on the iPad, her face lit up. When I told her we can have it shipped to her house in 2 days, free shipping... she cried.
And to top it off we had a 40% off coupon that I applied to her order. As I told her she was good to go, she bawled and hugged me so tight. As she was leaving, still choked up she told her husband, who was in a wheelchair waiting for her at the entrance, that I was a Christmas angel.
I will never forget that. Sometimes you just need to give your time, attention and a little patience to make someone's Christmas!
"She's Actually Incredible"
When I was in high school, I was the lead in the school play. We were getting ready for the debut show that night, and I saw that I had a voicemail from my best friend. When I listened to it, I realized that she had just pocket dialed me by accident. I wasn't going to listen to it because it was just the sound of her driving with the radio on, but then I heard our other friend say "Is she actually good at acting? Have you seen her act before?" To which my friend replied "Oh my god, she's actually incredible. I've seen her do performances where I've honestly been brought to tears. Just wait until you see her. You will be blown away."
It just warmed my heart that I overheard a conversation that I was never supposed to hear, but it was my friend saying the most lovely and supportive things about me. I never forgot that.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.