People Reveal Which Situation They Most Regret Being An A$$hole
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We all have bad moments, bad days, bad phases in life. It's been said that everyone is the villain in someone's story - and sometimes we are the villain even in our own.
Being a flaming turd of a human being happens to the best of us. The important thing is that we are able to recognize it when it happens and learn from it - aaaand maybe also share it on Reddit. Let's be real.
Reddit user TheJawsDog asked:
Some of these are hilariously innocent (like the vampire incident) and some of these are absolutely deeply and terribly cringeworthy acts of purposeful meanness. Hopefully, though, everyone has been able to move on to being a better person.
A friend brought my group of friends to a bar on Halloween weekend. I was dressed up as a cowboy. I noticed that pretty much everyone else at that bar was dressed as a vampire. I went around and complimented a lot of them on their awesome vampire costumes.
We eventually left and hopped over to another bar. I'm telling my friend i thought it was weird that everyone there had chosen to dress as a vampire. He tells me that we were actually at a goth bar, and none of them were wearing costumes.
Moved to live closer to my best friend and work with her. Ended up hating the town, taking it out on her, spending all my energy complaining about how I'd ruined my life and not gave any thought to her feelings. I moved away and we've kinda repaired things but it definitely left an impact and I was 100% in the wrong.
Because of Religion
I was adopted by lovely and caring parents, but throughout my entire childhood and teenage years I wanted nothing but distance from them for the sole reason that they were religious.
They weren't even the fanatic types. They were incredibly tolerant and respectful towards just about anything and anyone. They had the belief that they not only couldn't judge anyone, but also would be punished if they did.
When I was 11 I told them I didn't want to go to church anymore and then accepted it. I mean, I was 11 and they already respected my decision.
That just made it all the much harder for us to connect at any level. 90% of everything they did was to talk about Jesus and whatnot. In hindsight, I used to be kind of a prick about it, while they were always perfectly calm and friendly, even when I downright offended them.
I lost both of them in a car accident when I was 18.
Now I see that whether someone is religious or not, old or not, male or female or neither, black or white, from your country or a foreigner, being jerk is just that, being a jerk, where you come from and your general philosophy of life can't really do much to make it better or worse.
No matter how right you think you are, don't be a jerk!
The Paper Towel Compulsion
I think about this pretty often honestly. I had to be about 7 or 8. I'm in the mall with my mom and sister and it is just about closing time. On our way out of a department store we stop at the bathroom before the ride home. My mom sends me into the men's room on my own. Nobody in the bathroom. For some reason my stupid little brain thinks "I'm gonna poop on a bunch of paper towels and slap it against the mirror....".
I try to think back to why I would ever have this compulsion and I got nothin'. Having since worked many service jobs over the years I am profoundly sorry to that custodian.
To Look Cool
When my best friend was bullied I sometimes joined along, wanting to look cool in front of the "cool kids."
I remember feeling so betrayed when my best friend turned on me in second grade so she could be cool. I went to gifted school part time so I was bullied heavily at regular school. I also had an abusive dad so I cried a lot when they bullied so that didn't help. One day she just joined in and soon after told me she's not my friend anymore. She was the first betrayal in a long line of "best" friends being a-holes to me. That leaves a mark.
I have been on the receiving end of this and man does it suck. My first "boyfriend" threw me in some bushes in front of his friends and called me "vaca muy gorda" - which translates to "very fat cow" I guess.
I am a big girl so it stung. He thought it was so funny. After I dumped him, I went on to have body issues some 20+ years later and refused to date guys who said they liked me because I was sure they were going to do something similar.
I used to pull that nice guy bull. Ask a girl out, get rejected, desperately plead my case about how nice I was even though trying to guilt trip your way into a date is not a nice thing to do at all, then get frustrated when she avoided me and unfriended me on Facebook. Pretty embarrassing to look back on, but if you can't look back and realize you were a total a-hole sometimes, you're probably still one.
When I was a teen I went to a restaurant with several of my friends. We had been at an arcade earlier so I had a pocket full of quarters. My tip that night was quarters sprinkled in glasses, in food, and on plates. Thought it would be funny, but I look back on it now and it wasn't. It's something for which I'm deeply ashamed and it fills me with regret every time I think of it. Now I am extremely nice to the wait staff.
The Christmas Losers
Setting up for a huge artisan trade show that involved a massive vetting process (It was very difficult to be selected) - we had a day to set up, and as we're all working our butts off trying to make the BEST display of our goods, one booth across from us remained a total ghost town, to the horror and shock of the rest of us 'hard working' artisans.
Fast forward to the opening day of 10 days of this massive Christmas artisan show (as in HUGE!!) and the empty booth owners show up, set up a basic Costco table and dump cardboard boxes around - we're all rolling our eyes and snickering at this point, I mean...come on??? What LOSERS???
Yeah...those 'losers' were selling authentic Peruvian sweaters and hats - sold out in 3 days, packed up their Costco table, humbly leaving with WAY more than we could ever hope to make. Meanwhile, the rest of us schmucks had to kiss butt and keep our pathetic grins on for another 7 days.
I will forever look back on that experience as a lesson of making assumptions and being a total ass. Which I was.
Definitely the time my friends and I bullied the new kid on the block. Nothing physical, but we made fun of him and excluded him for not having a scooter. Then one day he showed up with a new scooter and we bullied him for having a cheapo one.
Years later it became apparent that his family wasn't as well off as ours. None of us realized we were picking on the poor kid, and when the family bought him the trendy toy, it just wasn't good enough for us. We were mean to him and I feel awful about it. Sorry, Omar.
Back in 7th grade, this really shy girl used to have a HUGE crush on me. Her friends told me she would leave PE early to go to the changing room in order to look pretty for the next class that were both in. Then, her friends kept asking for me to talk to her and ask her out but I refused because to me, "she looked like an alien". Unfortunately, her friends told her and she was devastated. I was honestly just stating why I didn't want to "date" her but I realized how mean and terrible my comments were. I apologized to her for being an insensitive jerk and she forgave me. We managed to become friends in 8th grade and all throughout high school. I still feel bad about whenever I think of her.
The World's Cringiest Breakup
My first boyfriend and I started dating in high school. We were absolutely inseparable as we'd been best friends for years before we started dating. We were there for each other through the death of a parent and a sibling, and so many firsts. We were going to live in the same dorm in college the next year. A pair, for sure.
Our senior year I decided I wanted to go to prom with some random guy that I'd developed a crush on during our senior trip. Because we'd been friends so long, I decided that instead of breaking up with him (which felt cold-hearted) I'd soften the blow by just being incredibly mean to him. This way he wouldn't be as upset when I finally told him.
I was HORRIBLE to him for DAYS - just didn't let up. Everything he did was wrong. Nothing was funny. His new haircut was ugly. Why was he so stupid? I finally said something that broke him while we were watching a movie one night and he asked why I was being so awful. I decided that then was the best time to tell him that I was breaking up with him, specifically because I wanted to go to prom with someone else, who I barely knew. He started sobbing, which teenage brain could NOT understand. I kept asking why he was so upset, but he wouldn't tell me.
It turns out that after years of friendship, I'd blindsided him with the world's cringiest breakup, on his birthday, which I'd completely forgotten. 20 years later I still wake up in the middle of the night feeling guilty about it.
The Dead Dad
When I was in elementary school there was this kid who lost his father to cancer during the school year. One day after he came back to school (can't remember how long after) we got into some sort of dispute on the playground. I don't remember exactly how it came to me saying "at least my dad isn't dead" but that's exactly what came out of my mouth. I spent the day in the principals office. To this day this is one of the biggest regrets of my life and I'm 23. I still feel terrible about it because I never got to apologize to the kid because we moved away shortly after. I don't even remember his name but I'll never forget saying that.
Many years ago I was just starting out on a new position as a project manager. Things weren't going smoothly on this project, not really in anyone's control but it added stress to myself and my team.
One day one of my teammates made a minor and fixable error, but I still screamed at them in front of about 10 people (all employees). Like a good 2 min tirade about what a mistake they were. They were a summer student, making minimum wage and I just laid into them. The worst part is they made the mistake because *I* labeled something incorrectly. It was really *my* mistake.
10 years later I still manage small to medium teams and I think about that moment a lot. It reminds me to keep my cool in stressful situations and you can provide discipline without being an a-hole. Also, owning up to your own mistakes as a leader I feel actually helps the team grow long term and establishes trust with your employees.
My BFF and I have a GIF we send on the first day of our periods, the one from The Shining with the elevator doors opening and the blood everywhere. After her first miscarriage I spaced and sent that to her and have hated myself ever since. Pretty sure she doesn't remember, but I'll never forget.
Was hammered at a bar; the bar server was called Tommy - I was making him say "Tommy want wingy" whilst waving cash in his face (it was his tip.)
Sober me realized I looked like a huge ass that would have only tipped if he said what I wanted.
The Muslim Kid
Made fun of a kid for being Muslim. Pretty sh*t thing to do.
I'm No Help
It wasn't quite long ago, maybe early last month. I was coming back from a friend's place and I saw a girl who I knew was staying close to my place but we actually don't talk. She was carrying a ton of luggage in both hands including a cooking gas (it looked like she was just coming back to school after the semester break) and she was sweating like crazy. She looked like she needed all the help she could get.
We actually locked eyes and I think she was expecting me to help her, but I didn't. To make matters worse I actually walked almost side by side with her without saying a word to her or even helping her with stuff. I just let her struggle with everything while I walked next to her empty-handed.
SO I THINK I AM THE A-HOLE
My mom was really sick for a few years and it was just part of my life and something I was used to. I was sitting in her room while she napped, browsing the internet on our laptop and talking with friends on AOL. I spent 45+ minutes whining and complaining about how weird the sounds she was making while she slept were and how I hated her snoring and just a lot of really awful things to say about your mom (I was 14).
I stood up to go get water and glanced at her and saw she was laying in a puddle of vomit in bed. The sounds I was hearing was the oxygen tubes blowing bubbles into her vomit. The snoring was air from the oxygen machine pushing out. At some point in the time I was sitting there in her room complaining about her, she'd died in her sleep. No idea how long.
She obviously never knew about my sh*tty attitude, but I felt awful for ages. I still look back on that time and think about what a little prick I was to her and my step dad.
When I was in school, my friend group consisted of 3 guys and me. None of our conversations were about anything other than basically roasting other people. We'd even go over and talk to "weird" people and act completely normal and nice to them but then when we were alone we would just go over the "session" and take the piss out of the person.
It did make me a bit uncomfortable, but I just went along with it. Looking back I really was the equivalent of one of those popular mean girls in American high school movies.
When I was a kid I would always have "constructive criticism" for my mum about her cooking.
"This would be better like this."
"Something doesn't taste right."
But once I moved out I realized that cooking for myself is quite a lot of effort and I usually just put something in the microwave or in the oven. She would put in a couple hours of effort EVERY DAY only for me to complain about it.
I dropped a glass in my back garden and didn't bother cleaning it up. My dog was running outside and stepped on the broken glass. We had to take her to the vet to get it removed. I had never felt like a bigger piece of crap in my life.
Harassed a female friend due to being lonely. I texted her to no end and when she didn't reply, my anxiety would trigger and it caused me to text her even more while trying to explain that I wasn't in a good place in that period of time.
Caused the friendship to crumble entirely and I may or may not have left her with some trauma because of me harassing her. I've tried to make amends since I deeply regret the stupid things I did; but I don't think she will end up forgiving me for this and I'm worried if I keep reaching out it'll be just harassing her more.
Chuck E. CheeseGiphy
When I was like 12 I was at chuck e. cheese and I did the ultimate assh*le move. I took tickets from a machine that someone had won, and the little girl came back and caught me. I said something mean to her (I can't remember, but it was really bad) and took the tickets and took off.
She bought her grandma with her to see what she won. If I could go back, I'd slap the hell out of younger me and give them back. If she's somehow reading this, I want to apologize for my behavior. 76 tickets from the monkey climbing game that's near impossible to win. You know who you are, and now you know who I am.
When I was a part of GamerGate, and heavily transphobic.
Ironic, because I'm now both heavily into social justice and also trans.
WTF Was Wrong With Me?
I was in the hospital for a while as a kid. I had some terrible habits like stealing puzzle pieces from the other kid in the hospital room and washing them down the toilet to feel good about myself. Also dissolving toothpaste in their clothes. Some f'd up stuff, I know. Also some animal torture like squashing frogs with boulders and kicking cats around. It felt 'exciting' back then but I always look back with a 'WTF was wrong with me' look on my face.
My grandpa was very sick and was prepping to undergo surgery. My parents told me and my sister that he would be fine soon, but in reality he only had few week left to live. I was too busy playing video games and was very entilted and angry at that time. I had a few of those moments a month, when I was getting so angry that I acted out against my family because of the anger.
I was 16 at that time.
So one day after surgery my sister came into my room with grandpa, which was pretty big achievement since he could barely walk. She playfully said "look who made it heeeeere."
I just got very angry because they interrupted me and shouted: "GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE!"
It was one of the last times my grandpa was able to move without being carried in someone's arms and one of the last moments when he was still rational.
That thing haunts me and I still regret it 8 years after. It was probably worst thing I have ever done.
We'd be lying if we said we haven't all made a poor decision in our lives. Whether it's letting a questionable ex back into our lives or pairing that shirt with those jeans, we all have a cringey memory to look back on.
But most of us don't have memories of inventing something terrible, let alone one of the worst inventions ever.
Redditor NPT1506 asked:
"What is the worst human invention ever made?"
"That little 'Press to Open' tab on Kraft Mac 'n' cheese boxes. That has been an effective way of opening those boxes exactly zero times."
"K Cups. The pollution of all that single-use plastic."
Teeny Tiny Bits of Plastic
"Glitter. It N E V E R goes away."
"My printer one day just up and stopped working claiming I needed to replace a part. As it turned out, that part is meant to stop working when the printer reaches 5000 pages."
"I took the part out. There’s no damage or wear on it. So I ordered a 'reset chip' that reset the page count for that part to zero. Cost me $20 vs $110 for a replacement part."
"Later on, I found a way to enable tech mode on my printer to reset the page count for any part I want. Then again, the printer is old, and the WiFi stopped working a few weeks ago, requiring me to use direct WiFi, which sucks."
It's Getting Personal
"Serious answer: chemical toxins that have caused severe health problems."
"Personal answer: HP printers. F**king pieces of s**t."
Unholy Packing Solutions, Batman
"Styrofoam is pretty abominable in my book, especially for things like takeout food that’s destined for the trash within minutes of use."
"Child beauty pageant events."
Profit for Who
"Which leads to state prosecutors who are beholden to them. This increases the probability of being charged with a crime you didn't commit, under the plan that you're too poor to defend yourself and will plead out."
"They can't make a profit without prosecutors feeding them an ever-increasing supply of prisoners (plus parolees and probationers in "offender-funded" programs). It's a recipe for the corruption of our justice system."
"Private prisons are arguably foreign enemy assets."
Addictive Pay-to-Win Games
"Pay to Win Games, especially mobile games."
"Cigarettes. They never should have been made."
"Possibly leaded gasoline. It poisoned billions and left multiple generations more violent and less intelligent."
Reminders of War
"Landmines. They don't just disappear once a war is over. They'll stay around to kill some kids playing. Awful things."
"I’ll say Nerve Toxins/Chemical Weapons. I find few things worse than a weapon that literally gives you the slowest and most agonizing death possible."
"While nukes are horrible beyond imagination, humanity learned to avoid them as a way to ensure their own survival, it's wise, but egoistical nonetheless."
"Chemical weapons on the other hand traumatized the f**k out of the survivors and the ones who called the attacks and got to see the aftermath. They were so horrible that many soldiers deserted after using them and many went mad."
"Throughout the last century, we successfully banned almost all of those: the 1925 geneva protocol, the 1980 chemical weapons convention, among others, but I'm afraid when the next generations start to forget the horrors of chemical warfare, it will resurface in the likes of what's happening with fascism."
From modern inconveniences to climate changing inventions to the literal stuff of war, there are serious contenders here for the worst invention in human history. It would be hard to choose just one.
Children believe what their parents tell them about the world to be true because they don't know any better.
That doesn't mean they have to like what they are told. But a good child listens and will act accordingly to be in their parents' good graces.
But sometimes, adults abuse their power and say whatever it takes to get a desired response from a young one–even if what they're saying may not be entirely true.
Curious to hear from those who've eventually become wise to the ways of a parent or other adult figure, Redditor i_cant_have_dairy asked:
"What's something you were told as a child by adults, that you now realize is complete bullsh*t?"
Parents hoping to prevent a bad habit had interesting things to impart.
Advancing Bone Degeneration
"Cracking your fingers make you get arthritis."
"If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind."
Interesting things were said in school but not everything stuck.
The Threat That Didn't Land
"HS teachers: 'That stuff won't fly in college" College: ✈️✈️✈️✈️'
An Easy Pass For Today
"I got this BS all through school. 'I'll let this slide, but don't think you'll get away it next year...' "You can do this now, but don't think it'll happen in Middle School...' 'Don't expect to get away with this in High School...' 'Yeah, we'll let this go in High School, but if you think you'll get that sort of accomodation in college/the real world...(evil laugh)'. "
"Eventually, I caught on that it was more dependent on the teacher's attitude rather than anything else. Small example, in high school I couldn't remember the name of a town on a test, but I could remember everything else, even drew the diagram the teacher had the board in the margin, just to prove I had paid attention that day. Still got marked wrong. In college, similar brain fart, couldn't recall a place name, but I put as much description as I could otherwise. Professor gave me half credit."
The Wrong Impression
"DARE activities in primary school gave the impression that grownups would always be giving away narcotics for free. lol"
"That a degree would open all the doors and knowing about politics, history and general stuff would make me an interesting person and that socializing was a waste of time. Nowadays I work for a big4 but I have the personality of a boiled potato. And they have the nerves to ask why I don't have a girlfriend or more friends at 27. Teach your kids social skills. Studying is not everything."
Certain behaviors get fact-checked.
The Thing About Respect
"That you gotta have respect for you elders.... Don't get me wrong you gotta have respect for everyone but I'm only gonna give what you give me. If you are a butthole ima be a butthole."
There Are No Stupid Questions...Maybe
“No harm in asking', boy did that get me in trouble…"
'Just ignore them and they'll go away.'
"No it doesn't. It just makes them laugh so they do it more."
Getting Old But Never Wiser
"That adults know what they are doing."
"31 and I feel like a chicken with his head cut off."
You Are Not What You Eat
"That you can't be full unless you eat bread. Carbs actually make you hungrier. Protein fills you up."
"Also: if you drink coffee, you'll grow a tail. Don't ask me where I'm from."
I was a very rambunctious and obnoxious kid, so maybe I deserved the tactic my mother resorted to using to get me to be on my best behavior.
Whenever I acted out, my mother used to convince me she would call the "mountain people" to come back and retrieve me back to the community from where she claimed to have initially found and adopted me.
One time, when I was incredulous and stood my ground after being a pain, my mother told me the mountain people were going to take me back.
So she called them up by using our rotary-dial telephone and faked a whole conversation with them about how unruly I've been and that it was time for me to return.
She sent me to my room to start packing–which I did. Unbeknownst to me, she rang the doorbell to indicate they had arrived to take me away.
When that happened, I profusely apologized to her and promised to behave so she could send them away.
That was the last time she used that effective tactic and the last time I think I was at my worst in terms of my rebellious behavior.
We laugh about it now but back then, I was terrified.
But I can't discredit her for her creative discipline.
No two people have the same threshold for pain.
Some people don't even notice pricking their fingers, while others might equate doing so to being fully amputated.
No matter one's threshold, however, being in pain, big or small, is never a good feeling.
Particularly if it's the sort of pain that aspirin or ibuprofen can't take care of.
Some pain is so horrific that those suffering from it genuinely can't imagine going through anything worse.
"What's the worst physical pain you have ever had?"
"I am a heart-transplant recipient."
"The absolute worst experience of my life was when the tool used to take tissue samples of the heart (biopsy) to check for rejections got stuck and the doctor tried to use force to get it out, he failed."
"Mind you, you shouldn't be able to feel anything in the transplanted heart."
"I felt everything."- Beastrix
Seriously, What Haven't They Been Through?
"Having A UTI after covid that also had light pneumonia."
"Falling on my hands and knees while my backpack full of school books to return [2011 for book reference] that slammed into my back."
"I have scoliosis already and it threw my back out."
"Or my hip dislocating."
"It still dislocates."- Fluffy-Doubt-3547
"Like 10,000 knives in my stomach."- coffeedogsandwine
You Know Its Bad When Surgery's The Only Solution
"Ended up having my gal bladder removed."
"And I've broken my knee skiing which also required surgery."
"Minor annoyance in comparison."- Fracture_98
"I had a doctor once reset a broken bone in my wrist."
"He pushed it back."
"Worst pain I have ever felt."
"I screamed at him 'F*CK YOU, MOTHERF**KER!!'"
"He was nice about it though, and just laughed."- OttersOfNorthAmerica
Headache's Are Never Fun
"Chronic Cluster Headaches."- noiamnotyourfriend
"Worst headache of my life with migraine."
"And with it, an increase in blood pressure."
"I just lay on the floor and couldn't move."
"It cannot be described in words, but I have already vomited everything that is possible, and instinct made me writhe in the urge to give out something that has not been there for a long time."- Exciting_Composer_86
"I had a root canal done on a tooth that wasn’t numb."
"I didn’t realize it until they scraped the nerve out of the bottom of the root."
"It hurt so bad I completely blacked out."- victrola_cola
"Welp I guess now's the time."
"If you're squeamish turn away."
"Allow me to tell you the story of the gigash*t."
"I always had stomach issues."
"One holiday I ate too much dairy and gravy and it didn't agree with me."
"I already had constipation issues, most likely due to college stress, under hydration, and lactose intolerance that I didn't know I had at the time."
"I was hunched over in pain for hours."
"I had been stuck for a week or so and I wanted it out."
"The pain got progressively worse and worse across the day, and then it got to a height. It hurt so bad I cancelled my holiday visits and hobbled to the toilet."
"Little did I know what horrors awaited me."
"I don't know how long I was in there fighting for my life."
"At some point I had pulled a dresser over to lean my head and arms on because I was so exhausted and in pain, and I needed something to help keep my legs up."
"I clung to it like a castaway clings to flotsam."
"I felt like I should have seen a doctor, but I was already hell bound now, couldn't quit after all this work."
"I actually tried to use wipes to pull some of it out by hand, but it was like chiseling at hardening clay, and it was stuck like glue to my dying organs."
"I was certain I was dying too, but I wasn't going to give up."
"I wasn't going to let the football in my guts win."
"I clenched and pushed and suffered for what felt like hours."
"Then, at the height of my pain, it fell like a single brick with a clunk."
"I was huffing and puffing."
"It was like I just gave birth, and my a** was obliterated to the point where it was sore for the rest of the day."
"My guts actually felt empty."
"It's hard to explain, but I never felt so light in my life, despite how horribly the rest of my body ached."
"I was but a husk for the small football shaped demon spawn to shed, and now I was free."
"I immediately went to bed, still unbelievably sore."
"I recovered, but that was the absolute worst."
"Moral of the story, drink your water and eat your fiber, and for God's sake don't eat too much cheese."- mysterious_greenbean
Just When They Thought The Worst Was Over
"Woke up to to a huge spider right next to my face on my pillow."
"My reaction was to jump out of bed screaming bloody murder."
"I landed on the leg I had surgery in the day before, the leg gave out and I hit it hard on the bedframe and tore the wound."
"I passed out from the pain."- mistaekeish
Hopefully Not Simultaneously?!
"Kidney infection and tooth infection have been the absolute worst."- SexyChronicPain
Our Bones Are More Delicate Than We Might Think
"Skull bone infection (osteomyelitis) stemming from a tooth abscess, ended up with 3 front teeth out through high school."
"It took around 11 extraction/bone graft/implant surgeries for like 5 years of my life."
"But I’m all good now."
" Oh and f*ck broken ribs."- throwaway19273919
Thankfully, not all pain is chronic, and only lasts a short time.
If pain is unbearable enough, however, the memory of it can last a life time.
We've all done things we aren't proud of.
Be it saying something behind someone's back, a prank that went a little too far, or a heated exchange with a friend or family member, everyone has crossed the line at one point or another.
Thankfully, more often than not, these mistakes can be salvaged with an apology and a little contrition.
Unless you've done something that goes well beyond a simple "I'm sorry."
We’re talking about actions that can only be described as "f*cked up."
"Redditors, what is the most fucked up thing you have ever done?"
Duplicity Never Pays Off
"I’m a recovered heroin addict (9 years sober), and I have a lot of stories of how much of a sh*t person I use to be."
"I really can’t gauge what my worst moment would be, but I can post a story or two definitely."
"One day, I was flat broke and on my last bag of dope. My 'neighborhood pharmacist' just recently was arrested for a dui."
"Brainstorming, I came up with an idea to try and get some pills at the e.r. I still had med insurance at the moment, so I thought this was my best option."
"My buddy came by and we were hanging out outside smoking a cigarette and trying to figure out how to get hurt, just enough to get some pills, but not enough to actually have permanent repercussions."
"There was this big cinder block beside my garage, and I decided to drop it on my foot in hopes of just breaking a toe at most."
"I stood outside on the concrete patio for about five minutes with the cinderblock trying to hype myself up enough to drop it on my foot."
"I couldn’t do it, psyched myself out too much."
"I told my friend that he would have to do it for me, and he said OK."
"He held it about waist high and dropped it on my foot."
"I knew it wasn’t enough damage so I told him that he needed to put it up higher and drop it again to which he did."
"So go to the hospital tell them that I was carrying boxes downstairs to the basement and dropped them when I slipped on the bottom step so I go back, get x-rays, and I am in the waiting room."
"Dr comes in and tells me that I’ve torn numerous ligaments in my foot and probably would hurt less if I had just broke my foot."
"Hearing this I was excited thinking yes I just scored."
"I Didn’t care about the pain at the moment just happy that I just potentially scored."
"They release me, and hand me a script."
"They wrote me a script for ibuprofen 800mg."
When Pranks Stop Being Funny
"Was night manager at fast food establishment during college."
"There was a bitter prank rivalry between our establishment and the Subway next to us."
"After months of prank escalation, I crammed a rotting hamburger patty in the handle of the Subway manager's trunk lid so he went knuckle deep in rotting burger when he went home."
"That was the end of the prank war and I've never forgiven myself for crossing the red line."- Quivum
How Ironic This Happened At A Therapists Office
"I’m gonna rat my little sister out."
"During our parents’ divorce & custody battle, we were forced to sit in on family counseling sessions."
"I was 12 & she was 8."
"We thought my Mom was acting funny & might have been banging the counselor on the side for her own personal testimonial interests (still not confirmed)."
"So we were pissed off because we loved our Mom and our Dad."
"It seemed like the counselor favored our mom over our Dad, and it got rough sometimes watching him become outed by the only 2 adult forces who didn’t love him in this world."
"ANYWAY, my little sister and I were left alone in his office, and she decided she was gonna take a sh*t in his little trash can to assert dominance."
"It was asserted."
"We never went back."- Pleasant-Security831
When You Gotta Go...
"Ugh this was an embarrassing one that I hope no one ever finds out."
"One night a few years ago, we (my boyfriend and his family) get Chinese food from our favorite little place."
"For some reason this night it doesn't sit well with me."
"An hour after eating I get that intensely sick feeling, like you have to poop so bad that you want to throw up."
"Whatever, I go upstairs and destroy the bathroom."
"It's important to note, there's two bathrooms upstairs and none downstairs, which is like a little apartment where my boyfriend and I stay."
"After I'm sure my bowels are empty, I go back down to lay in bed."
"Thought I could nap it off."
"Nah, about 30 seconds after laying down I get the urge to go again."
"I run upstairs and to my horror, both bathrooms are occupied. His sister is refusing to get of the shower even though it's an emergency and his dad is blowing up the other toilet, presumably suffering a similar fate to mine."
"I begrudgingly go sit in bed and contemplate my options as the bubbling in my gut grows worse."
"Bust down the bathroom door and traumatize his sister?"
"Make the 30 minute drive home?"
"No, it was urgent."
"I even thought about sh*tting my pants (against my will) and dealing with the embarrassment."
"God I don't want to subject my future in-laws to that."
"I begrudgingly realize my only option is to go outside like nature intended."
"Their yard is very open and it was a super bright-moonlit night, so there was no place to do it without feeling super exposed."
"Except for under the trampoline."
"My thought process was: no one has used the trampoline for years, and it's out of sight/ walking range so no one could accidentally step in it."
"Great. I do my business, get soaked in the process ( it was slightly raining and the trampoline was POURING water on me), clean up with napkins and wet wipes, come inside. Immediately throw up in the trash can from the shock/embarrassment/anxiety/sickness."
"Clean that up and immediately go to bed."
"Everything was fine for a few days, until my boyfriend's dad lightheartedly tells me how he was late for work that morning."
"The dog had rolled in some shit and he had to get a bath."
"I felt like throwing up all over again, but thankfully everyone just suspected it was some type of animal poop."-WeirdConnections
Revenge Is Seldom The Answer
"My hometown is generally pretty middle-class to poor."
"There's a bunch of rich people that live in the woods and one of them had a kid that went to our high school and bullied the f*ck out of the kids that weren't as wealthy."
"That sh*t head grew up and bought a Camaro last summer and removed the muffler so it would be the loudest thing in town."
"On new years eve of 2021, he decided to ruin a town tradition and lapped the town common with it during the tree lighting ceremony. while people were caroling and giving thanks."
"Summer of last year, me and a friend decided it was time to get revenge because nobody wanted to do anything about it."
"My friend's dad owned a junkyard and they recently got an old train horn from a busted diesel that ended up there."
"We spent a good week getting it set up in the back of his work truck and decided to wait on it for a little while."
"A month or so later, we found out he was having a party of some kind with other rich folks and his family but we didn't know what it was about, so we carefully parked outside his house on the opposite side of his fence."
"Right as it was starting, we blasted the train horn and peeled out before anyone knew what happened."
"News got out later and we found out the party we bombed was actually a wake for his late grandfather."- G4rg0yle_Art1st
Seemed Harmless At The Time...
"You know how people bag up their leaves and leave them out by the street?"
"As a teen we used to go out at night and dump them back out on people's lawns."
"Thinking about it now I would be so pissed if someone did that to me."- Toastbuns
They Didn't Have ANY Doubts?...
"When I was about 15 a neighbor of ours stopped us in the road and chewed us out for riding our go-carts in the road."
"This despite the fact that it was a dirt road in a rural area which was the perfect place for riding go carts."
"He was a complete a**hole about it too."
"I don't know where I got the idea from but I promptly went home, called the electric company, pretended to be the neighbor, and told them I wanted my electricity turned off as we were moving."
"It was the eighties so they just looked the account up by name and address and promptly entered my request in the system."
"I'm sure it was just a minor inconvenience for them but they deserved it in my opinion."- BaconReceptacle
Personal Demons Are Hard To Fight
"The day before I stopped drinking alcohol altogether, I was in a really dark place for a number of reasons."
"And I was ABSOLUTELY using alcohol as a crutch."
"One of the reasons why I was in such a bad place, emotionally, was because my cousin was in decline due to glioblastoma."
"I was actively seeing this person, that I loved dearly, lose his sense of self and ability to understand conversations and situations."
"And he was young—just turned 50."
"There was a lot of light in the beginning, but considering that glioblastoma is effectively a stage-less brain cancer, it was almost guaranteed he would lose the battle."
"The day that I stopped drinking altogether was the day that I was supposed to drive him to a research institute for his monthly treatment and check-in."
"It was the only time I was asked to take on that level of responsibility, as his wife would normally take him."
"I helped in a bunch of different ways, like hanging out with him when he’d otherwise be alone, but this appointment was pretty big."
"I depressedly drank myself into a stupor the night before and missed our meet-up time."
"I’d said that I’d be there no matter what, and I wasn’t."
"The appointment happened, and he 'reassured me' everything was okay as he knew the battle was over anyway."
"But I will never forgive myself for that."
"Even typing this out makes me feel like the biggest piece of sh*t."
"I wish I were sober then."- ssssskkkkkrrrrrttttt
Credit where it is due, just about every one of these people admitted to doing something wrong.
Even if it doesn't excuse their actions, as knowingly doing something you know is wrong might make it even worse...