What makes someone likable? A smile, the way they speak, how they treat others? What is the quality you notice first? The thing that stands out the most when meeting a new person for me isn't simply if they have good qualities but how natural it seems to be for them.
If they had to pause and think about it to make a big gesture out of doing something nice they probably aren't like that in their downtime. The people who volunteer and do good deeds without posting about it, telling everyone about it, and just go on like that's a normal part of this day--those are my people.
Recognition is great but the people who do good deeds in private, those people typically have good hearts.
One Redditor by the screen name CremlinGremlin wanted to know the good qualities in people that shine through the most.
They asked:
“What's something that makes a person instantly likeable?"
Be nice to the shy kid...
“As a mini-introvert, I usually sit alone on a bench during school lunch, with friends sometimes joining me. Occasionally, someone would come to talk to me if I was alone, try to be friends. I hate it, but my respect for them grows immensely." MaskedNavajo
The way to the heart is through the stomach...
“They brought me something tasty. My affection can be easily purchased with treats.” sosogos
“I always do this! I've been told I'm a decent cook so how do I make new friends? Stuff their faces with food. Their stomachs? Full. New friend? Gained.” smolboi99
Comedy Central Eating GIF by Inside Amy Schumer
Giphy
Seeing the beauty inside people...
“I have a physical deformity and everyone I've ever met brings it up instantly or makes fun of it, except for my current best friend. She hasn't even mentioned it once and she is the nicest person ever. That is why she is my best friend.” Kiaser_Wilhelm_II
“People who get hung up on trivial details aren't worth your time and energy. There are enough good people out there like your best friend to fill up your life. Think of others' rudeness as a convenient filter, letting you quickly sift through the rubble to find true gold. Never settle for disrespect. Keep on, my friend.” High_Point_Genetics
When they like to celebrate you...
“The person who remembers birthdays and either calls or treats the birthday person to a meal is instantly the best person in any group of people. We should all strive to be that person.”
"Pro tip. Put those Facebook dates right in your calendar. Within a single year, you'll have marked every significant birthday. I'm typically the ‘birthday guy’ in my circle of friends but I had somebody remember mine this year for a change and it made my entire f**king day. It's so absolutely worth the few seconds it takes to make a note for future use." TBoneUprising
This is a hard one for many people...
“The ability to be frank about their own faults.” Smooth-Revolution958
Beingkind when it's not expected shows good character.
“When you see them help someone in need while they really don't have to.” gargan_tua
“That's the trait that made fall for my now husband. We were on a bike ride and it had started raining so we were going fast. An old guy dropped his newspaper and then his cane when trying to pick it up. Now husband stopped picked both up, put them in the man's hands and told him to have a nice day before getting back on his bike like nothing happened.” iam_whoiam
“Someone who listens and shows interest in other people. It's hard to dislike someone when they're friendly and seem genuinely happy to see you.” deepthots20
“The cool people will be more likeable at first glance."
“A calm, happy demeanor. Being able to laugh at themselves or self-deprecate or not get pissy when people toss jokes at their expense. Smiles and warm eyes. That type of person will always do well in social circles.”
“Because they cause no static, no drama. They are just always showing off an appearance of ‘no stress, good vibes, happy go lucky, let's laugh and have fun!‘ That is very attractive in friendships.”
“No one likes that a**hole who gets all pissy when jokes are lobbed their way. Especially if they will roast other people but get butthurt when they are the target. No one likes a depressed sour puss.”
“No one likes someone who is already b*tching or getting mad over politics or always super stressed out and riding manic cycles... No one likes someone ruining the vibe and causing drama. Usually, you can sense it on people quickly too. When you meet people you can tell who is sincerely very cool, and who is not, for whatever reason. The cool people will be more likeable at first glance.” daithisfw
Being inclusive is important...
“When the person makes an effort to make everyone in a group setting feel included. I've always been the quiet and shy type, so I have huge respect for the people who find ways to include me in the conversation.” gabbykoenig
Be kind to service workers.
“Being nice to people in the service or retail industry. If I'm with someone and something happens at dinner or at the register and they're super polite and cool about it, then I know they're solid.” iBeleiveInSpace
Listen
"I genuinely love it when someone just listens and asks questions about what you're talking about, even if they understand nothing 😂 "
"Like, I could be rambling about an anime I'm watching and they'd listen, asking things like 'Okay, so this happened, but why? AND HOW!?' "
"Bruh, I could literally marry you 🥺"
- GeckoAJ0
Happy Stephen Colbert GIF by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Giphy
Let Me Be Me
"Good sense of humor, is what makes me most likeable to people."
"But I find, when others actually hear me out, can empathize with me, and don't try and tell me how to feel, act or be according to how they think I should be. Those really make a likeable person for me."
Kindness And Courage
"Kindness to beggars, homeless people, and other unfortunates, waiters, drivers and other providing service, and having time for small children."
"I traveled in parts of the Middle East and North Africa with a Syrian colleague who, to my surprise, was on first name terms with both CEOs in air-conditioned marbled offices with fountains and with the beggar outside the gate (to whom he surreptitiously passed money)."
"He lived by the old Arab/Muslim idea that all you will have in the next life is what you've given away in this one; a worthwhile perspective whether or not there's an afterlife."
"He was also a whisky drinking Muslim willing to face down anyone who tried shaming him (I sat beside him on planes often and saw him get glares often when devout Muslims saw him drinking; "You tell me where in the Koran it is forbidden!")."
"Being willing to defy social convention/think for oneself can be pretty attractive if the result doesn't adversely affect others."
"Kindness, courtesy, modesty, including refusal of credit, generosity etc. are all good, but kindness is surely first. Courage to be different and to tolerate and respect difference work for me."
- ponolan
Respect
"When they make sure to respect dumb questions - laughing a bit if they know it won't deter the person asking them, but respecting them nevertheless."
Person B
"Me: 'So when I was camping I found a snake...' "
"Person A: 'Oh yeah that reminds me! A while ago a snake.—' "
"Person B: 'She was telling a story. You could tell yours after.' "
"Me: :)"
"Don't be like person A. Be like person B."
- MixItUp0
Admit It
"Admitting your mistakes, or freely admitting ignorance on topics outside your wheelhouse."
"Maybe it’s more of my intense hate for the folks out there who will NEVER admit wrong. I was married to one (borderline personality with a nasty victimhood kink)."
"So when someone embraces their imperfect nature, it exudes a confidence that a lot of people don’t have."
Rat Boys
"I have pet rats."
"A lot of people assume the worst with rats or are scared. Anyone who is kind/curious about them instantly gets points."
"I love to talk about them and show them off. My rat boys are just so sweet and cuddly and I like anyone who is willing to give them a chance."
Appreciate Input
"When they actually appreciate your skills and input even though you may view it yourself as very insignificant. Especially if that person praising you is someone far above the totem pole and they acknowledge your hard work."
A Change In Views
"If they are able to take in new info and change their viewpoint if given sufficient reason. Also if they can examine things from other viewpoints without needing to actually adopt that viewpoint."
"Makes for very interesting, productive, and pleasant conversations"
In general, the qualities that make someone instantly likable are those related to being kind, being compassionate, and being inclusive. Qualities we all can be intentional about fostering.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
- People Divulge Which Things They Instantly Judge Someone For - George Takei ›
- People Explain What Instantly Makes Them Dislike Someone - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.