Now for the most part, when making major life choices, being sober should be an essential ingredient in the process. But every once and a Blue Moon (and I do mean the beer with a shot) the choices we make while under the influence, can be some of the greatest decisions we ever make during the course of our lives. So cheers and enjoy that new car or vacation or moose you adopted.
Redditor u/Feerka wanted to discuss the times we've all lived our best lives after several rounds of libation by asking... What is the best decision you've made while drunk?Hi Molson
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I went to a party in college and came home with a cat. I was petting the house owner's cat and he asked if I wanted a kitten, they had found him outside and he was in rough shape. He is now 7 years old and appropriately named Molson.
All Aboard....
I booked a vacation to New Orleans at 3 AM while blackout drunk. I got awesome deals on airfare and a nice hotel. Even booked it to perfectly fit into my work schedule. I have no idea how I pulled it off, but it was like getting a gift from a stranger.
The Healer
We had a get together at my place a couple years ago, just me and 3 of my classmates. One of them recently broke up with his GF and was heartbroken.
We got quite drunk and they left the next morning, but said classmate came back for his charger and told me that thanks to what I've said the day before, they are getting back together with GF.
I was glad obviously, but to this day I have no clue what I've told him. I was very drunk. They're still together btw.
Yummy!
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I made grilled cheese at 2 am once, but instead of using plain toast I made it with garlic bread.
Craving Water
I've left (and continue to do so) a pint glass of ice on my bedside table so I can't drink it immediately, but when i wake up with that 4am cotton mouth thirst:
Big glass cold water waiting, no getting up.
This is why I keep my water bottle next to the bed. My mom's cat knocked a glass of water over my head when I was a teenager (had one of those beds with the little shelf in the headboard). Not fun at 3am. My cat will still knock over the bottle, but at least there no mess.
Geronimo!!
Dude, my last 3 vacations and skydiving trips were all planned completely hammered. The first time was so successful I almost believe I plan better. Since July Ive been skydiving twice, kayaking, saw all the San Diego zoo, got a sunburn, went camping, went fishing, visited old friends across the country. If I plan sober i worry about money and all the legwork to plan/pull it off.
NO CLUE!
I got really hammered one night and started missing my mom (even though I talked to her regularly) because I lived very far away so I didn't see her often. Apparently I called her and spoke to her for about a hour (according to my phone log). The next day when I called her to apologize for whatever dumb sh!t I said, she told me that it was the most wonderful conversation she'd ever had and that I made her feel so proud to be my mom.
I have NO CLUE what I said to her and I never had the heart to tell her that I couldn't remember the call. She died 2 years ago and I never did find out what I said to her. Just gonna ETA to say how wonderful it has been to be able to share memories of my mom. She really was wonderful and I'm so glad for any chance I have to tell people how much she meant to me.
On the Road
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My friend and I were drunk when we decided to do a 2000 mile motorcycle trip. We did it a few months later and had a blast. We now have a rule that if we both agree to a ridiculous trip while drinking, The Agreement must be Honored.
The Final Moments
I used to deliver small airplanes as a sort of side-gig. The best part for me, was simply being by myself, often for days, and just enjoying leisurely flights over the US.
One evening several years ago, I'd had a few too many and invited my dad to join me on a 3-4 day trip to deliver some guy's new plane from the Northwest.
Disclaimer: Although I care about him, dad can be very stressful to travel with on long trips. So the next morning I was a little annoyed with myself for doing this.
Due to medical issues, that turned out to be the last vacation he ever had, and we had a great time. I'd hate to have missed that week with him.
A Special Treat
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Nine years ago stumbling to the pita shop after the bars closed with my friends, I drunkenly ordered a falafel pita instead of my usual. Blew my mind and changed my life.
The Carpool....
Not to carpool with my homie after a huge mansion party, where we all got drunk. I had done it before but got some smart impulse not to this time. After I took an uber and got home to sleep, I woke up from my alcohol induced sleep and found out from his mom, that he ended up flipping the car into a canyon, the roof caved, he broke his neck, and ended up with (what luckily turned out to be) temporary paralysis. As thankful as I am that he's well and walking now, and just as functional a person as he once was, I'm glad I didn't take the car ride with him.
Cookies....
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I wrote "get with the cookie delivery guy" as my entry on the "Goals for Spring Semester" list we posted on the wall in my college apartment. Then we invited the cookie delivery guy up for a party.
That was almost eight years ago. We got married last October.
Adoption
A friend and I were very drunk and I was talking about how I wanted to get a dog. I've had them my whole life but never one of my own. We browsed the local shelter's website and I found one that looked and sounded perfect.
The next morning, we went to the shelter. We were both super hungover, so much so that my friend threw up in the corner of their outdoor area.
I met my future dog, played with him a bit and told them I would be back the next day to take him home. And if I'm being honest, I was in that half drunk/half hungover phase.
I went back the next day and picked him up. My friends kept asking if I was rushing into it and I just brushed them off.
7 years later, we've moved 5 times, including across the country, and he's been my best friend the entire time. He's been the one constant in my life since I got him.
Although I personally regret nothing, PLEASE do not get a dog on a (drunken or sober) whim unless you are 100% dedicated.
Leaves it here....
Decided that maple leaves look like little hands and proceeded to high five every tree I saw. Happiest night ever. Still high five cute leaves sometimes and give myself a good chuckle (Always wondered when I'd stop being a lurker and finally be compelled to comment. This is apparently it.)
21...
When I was 21 I was quite the alcoholic and I had started using drugs quite frequently. It started to develop into an addiction as I was doing it alone at my house on a daily basis.
One day I was drinking alone at home and went to the gas station to pick up some smokes. On the way back, a high school friend of mine was walking his dog, and I picked him up.
He wanted to smoke and so we went back to my place. He started talking about how he just got out of rehab and was telling me about how bad addiction was, all of the signs, etc. He had no clue I was usingg.
I very emotionally opened up to him and ended up throwing it into the trash. Haven't touched the crap since. To this day the decision to go to the gas station to buy cigarettes when I was drunk was the best one I have ever made.
Happy Endings
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At the end of the night I asked out a girl from our work group who I thought I would never have a chance with.
That was almost 3 years ago and we just got married last month.
Mascots
I bought a mascot sized Pikachu costume from China. Didn't even realize until a few weeks later when I started getting angry emails in Chinese chasing me for payment. It's quite fun though, I tend to dress it in other costumes and take it to conventions. Here's me attending UK Comic Con as Pikachu Thor.
EDIT: forgot about this. Here's an interview I did with a lovely person about it all. Skip to 7:20.
Thanks Me....
An Amazon box was delivered to me with a SNES classic. Had so much fun with it. No memory of ordering it. When I checked my email it was ordered at like 3am on a Saturday. Thanks drunk me, I finally got to play through Super Metroid.
Damn You Bacardi!!!
Hosted a massive college house party and I was extremely intoxicated and made the decision to steal my roommates Bacardi O and mix with orange juice (definitely should have stopped at this point). I don't remember much, but I remember pouring about a shot of orange juice and filling the tall glass with rum until it became clear. I woke up the next morning next to the very large empty Bacardi bottle and feeling wonderful - however remorseful that I stole from my best friend.
I profusely apologized that evening (when friend finally recovered) and committed to replacing said bottle - but he broke out into a uncontrollable laughter (to the extent it caused him to dry heave). The bottle was destined to join our many decorative liquor bottles and had been filled with water accordingly. I never lived down my night of binge drinking Bacardi H2O!
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We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.