When you want the job, you do what you have to do. Everyone lies about education and experience. Is that right? No.
They want people with Master's degrees to start at $12 an hour. That's where we are, and so we may have to fudge a few facts or six.
And most of the time, it all turns out for the best, because qualifications often solidify with experience. Why is that so underrated? Let's see how "fibs" work out once in awhile.
Redditor u/pynergy1 wanted everyone to share the times we've all fibbed to get that coin by asking:
People who've lied on their resume and actually got the job that they were unqualified for, what ended up happening?
I've never been honest on a resume, well except for this job. And that's because I had to give writing samples. So there is an idea, demand proof, in real time.
BilingualTalk Talking GIF by Wikipedia Giphy
"I got an insultingly small raise for speaking a 2nd language, and since none of my bosses spoke Spanish, they never figured out that my skill level was comparable to that of a toddler. All of our Hispanic customers found it adorable."
"Not me but I remember seeing someone who clearly did. I got hired as a contractor for a major brand pretty much everyone has heard of. They had a lean fiscal year and laid off a large portion of their front office people. Me and anther person were hired to help fill in some holes left by the people let go."
"On our first day we were being shown some basic tasks and how to work with the database. I had a notebook with me and was taking some notes and asking a lot of questions. The other person looked like they saw a ghost. By the time we came back from lunch the other person miraculously got a better job offer and left never to return."
On the Assembeley
"I worked on an assembly line making oilfield tools, told them I had oilfield experience. Got sent to an offshore oil rig a few months later. Turns out you're just picking up heavy crap and getting picked on for the first few months anyways."
"I loved the fraternity vibe, and messing with and getting messed with. I still keep in contact with a lot of guys I met and over all it was a great experience. I cleared about $75K my first year and my hourly rate was 14/hr if that gives you an idea of how much you are working. That's when oil was 100/barrel and bonuses were pretty nice."
"My very first job "in finance" was as a Data entry clerk for a mortgage lender. They asked if I could type 70+ wpm, I lied and said I could. I really could type about 25 wpm. When I got the offer, I spent everyday till my hire date practicing the crap outta my typing speed. Got up to about 50 wpm, which was enough to overlook my first two weeks of the job. By the time I got promoted to underwriting a year later, could easily type 80+wpm, and knew 10 key by touch."
SaluteGIF by Broad City Giphy
"Not me, but my Dad when he was drafted for WWII. They asked if he could touch type, he said yes. I don't think he had even seen a typewriter. But they put him in intelligence because of his answer and no one ever questioned his typing skills."
Well sometimes it all doesn't work out. That's why you have to be prepared to learn quickly when you're telling a lie. Prepare your lies, that's rule number one. And be simple in your tall tales.
6 Years LaterKermit The Frog Reaction GIF Giphy
"I said I was proficient in software I had never used before. When I got asked for an interview, I learned enough to BS my way through. When I got the job, I spent the next two weeks learning the crap out of that software. 6 years of using it all day every day, and training other people how to use it, I'd say I did pretty good."
Window Cleaners Share The Best Things They've Ever Seen | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"Not me, but a guy I've worked with on occasion had gone to school to become an architect. There was a prestigious firm that he really wanted to work for but they kept rejecting him. Still, he didn't stop applying and one day they said they had an opening but it wasn't for architecture, rather wayfinding (like designing directional signage etc. for facilities or even cities), and they asked if he had experience doing this. He lied and said yes and got the job. Now the guy is in his 70s, about to retire, and is super well known for his creative and clever wayfinding systems."
"Not me but my sister. A little background, we're mixed(ish). Our dad is white and our mom is Hispanic. I learned Spanish later on but my sister never learned it, but maybe because my mom and I are fluent in both Spanish and English I guess my sister thought she was fluent in Spanish by proxy."
"So on her application she lied and said she was fluent in Spanish. She didn't know at the time but the company's clientele was roughly 85% Hispanic, most of whom spoke little to no English. She had the job for a couple hours."
Tell the Truth
"College buddy left after four years or so. Couple years later we are hanging out and he is a energy commodity analyst. Wtf? Lied and said he had a mathematics degree. They never checked, he did well. Couple years later he gets a huge promotion to switch to another company. Tells the truth that time. They hire on the condition he finishes his degree. They got busy, told him to drop out. He is now a C level executive of a smaller energy logistics company."
PivotFriends Lol GIF by HBO Max Giphy
"Said I could do pivot tables. Had a very basic knowledge of Excel. Got the job and literally never had to do a pivot table 🤣 Picked up a lot just by playing around with Excel too."
The Long Haul
"I applied for a job as a truck driver. The only experience I had was in a vehicle the size of a small U-Haul, delivering for a Vietnam veterans fundraising organization. Almost 18 years later, I'm still behind the wheel for the same company, and I've gotten my commercial driver's license."
Just Show Up!
"My uncle did this. Showed up for a mass interview. They said they would call people they wanted after. He didn't get a call, but found out where people were supposed to go the first day. He just showed up! I think when he was asked, he just told them that he had been told to come, even though his name wasn't on the list. He retired from that company about 45yrs later."
"When my dad first arrived as an immigrant, he took an ESL class which among other things coached students on how to get a job. The teacher literally got up there and said, "here's how you get a job in America: lie." So my dad lies and told a construction crew he could drive a forklift. The first day, they asked him to get on the forklift. My dad said, oh, I only know how to use a different model of forklift. So they taught him how to drive the forklift, and he worked there for 20 years."
And you are?hired money GIF by Originals Giphy
"My boss hired someone that called the store and said, "I would like to confirm my interview is on this date." My coworker had never actually submitted an application or resume, my boss just assumed it got misplaced."
I got away with it!
"I was desperate for work after grad school, and lied about my skills in Salesforce (CRM software), when asked about it at the interview. I'd never even heard of it before! I claimed I've used it plenty, and the interviewer kept asking one question after another about Salesforce and I was so desperate, and also so embarrassed about lying, that my only choice was to lie even further to cover up the original lies."
"So by the end of the interview, I had dug myself into a hole of lies so deep, the only way I got out of it was because my new manager has obviously never used Salesforce herself either. So I get the job, and I'm thrown head first into becoming the team's new Salesforce wizard. Thankfully it was pretty easy to learn, and since I used it every day/all day long, I'd become pretty skilled at it in a few weeks. It's now the most honest part of my resume!"
The Little Lie
"It wasn't on my resume, per se. But when I was in my early 20s (55 now) I was working for a company doing basically video editing. They needed someone in the IT department, and the manager knew I had a home PC and asked me if I "knew anything about mainframes."
"I lied, said I did, and he transferred me. He figured out pretty quickly that I was full of crap, decided I was still the best candidate, rolled up his sleeves and taught the crap out of me. Over 30 years later, he's still the best boss I ever had, taught me how to be a husband and a father, taught me how to manage projects large and small and how to manage teams large and small."
"Still one of my best friends, considers me his second son and I certainly consider him my second father, and I've had an IT career ever since. Been the Director of IT for 3 separate companies, plus owned my own technical consulting firm, etc. So, that little lie worked out pretty good, I think."
"Not me but have a friend who had basically zero experience in IT security make his Helpdesk experience on a resume look like he handled security related tasks and issues for years. Ended up getting an entry level IT security position and today is now a Senior IT security engineer making 150k."
Hey AlaskaSaturday Night Live Finger Guns GIF by HULU Giphy
"I hired someone like this. In the interview he claimed to have experience working with all of our equipment and we hired him."
"He showed up from Alaska and had absolutely no idea what any of it was or how it worked. I spent three months training him on the most basic equipment and he couldn't figure it out."
"We hired someone who lied on their resume, it took about 2 weeks but we fired them. They later applied to a similar position with a different team in the same company and referenced working on my team. So yeah, they didn't get hired when the obvious reference check was made."
"I've also known of 2 cases where people were so bad at their jobs, it prompted someone to look up their degree and find it was fake. They got fired, and in one case sued. If you are going to lie, try to not lie big, or about something easily provable."
"I was running the network for a pretty big company and the boss hired a temp to help me with a project. He claimed to have a lot of experience with Cisco routers. Within 2 days it was obvious that he had no experience at all, didn't even know how to log in to the router. He was fired by my company and blacklisted by the temp agency."
The truth is always best, until its not. But trying to do better in life is hardly a malevolent motive. Some small lies on a resume still prove to be productive. And nowadays you can learn anything on YouTube. That counts as a work study.
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Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/