When you want the job, you do what you have to do. Everyone lies about education and experience. Is that right? No.
They want people with Master's degrees to start at $12 an hour. That's where we are, and so we may have to fudge a few facts or six.
And most of the time, it all turns out for the best, because qualifications often solidify with experience. Why is that so underrated? Let's see how "fibs" work out once in awhile.
Redditoru/pynergy1wanted everyone to share the times we've all fibbed to get that coin by asking:
People who've lied on their resume and actually got the job that they were unqualified for, what ended up happening?
I've never been honest on a resume, well except for this job. And that's because I had to give writing samples. So there is an idea, demand proof, in real time.
Bilingual
Talk Talking GIF by WikipediaGiphy"I got an insultingly small raise for speaking a 2nd language, and since none of my bosses spoke Spanish, they never figured out that my skill level was comparable to that of a toddler. All of our Hispanic customers found it adorable."
The Database...
"Not me but I remember seeing someone who clearly did. I got hired as a contractor for a major brand pretty much everyone has heard of. They had a lean fiscal year and laid off a large portion of their front office people. Me and anther person were hired to help fill in some holes left by the people let go."
"On our first day we were being shown some basic tasks and how to work with the database. I had a notebook with me and was taking some notes and asking a lot of questions. The other person looked like they saw a ghost. By the time we came back from lunch the other person miraculously got a better job offer and left never to return."
On the Assembeley
"I worked on an assembly line making oilfield tools, told them I had oilfield experience. Got sent to an offshore oil rig a few months later. Turns out you're just picking up heavy crap and getting picked on for the first few months anyways."
"It was a great job as a single guy. Once I got married then it was a little harder, and then it was too hard when I had a kid."
"I loved the fraternity vibe, and messing with and getting messed with. I still keep in contact with a lot of guys I met and over all it was a great experience. I cleared about $75K my first year and my hourly rate was 14/hr if that gives you an idea of how much you are working. That's when oil was 100/barrel and bonuses were pretty nice."
My First
"My very first job "in finance" was as a Data entry clerk for a mortgage lender. They asked if I could type 70+ wpm, I lied and said I could. I really could type about 25 wpm. When I got the offer, I spent everyday till my hire date practicing the crap outta my typing speed. Got up to about 50 wpm, which was enough to overlook my first two weeks of the job. By the time I got promoted to underwriting a year later, could easily type 80+wpm, and knew 10 key by touch."
Salute
GIF by Broad CityGiphy"Not me, but my Dad when he was drafted for WWII. They asked if he could touch type, he said yes. I don't think he had even seen a typewriter. But they put him in intelligence because of his answer and no one ever questioned his typing skills."
Well sometimes it all doesn't work out. That's why you have to be prepared to learn quickly when you're telling a lie. Prepare your lies, that's rule number one. And be simple in your tall tales.
6 Years Later
Kermit The Frog Reaction GIFGiphy"I said I was proficient in software I had never used before. When I got asked for an interview, I learned enough to BS my way through. When I got the job, I spent the next two weeks learning the crap out of that software. 6 years of using it all day every day, and training other people how to use it, I'd say I did pretty good."
Window Cleaners Share The Best Things They've Ever Seen | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Way What?
"Not me, but a guy I've worked with on occasion had gone to school to become an architect. There was a prestigious firm that he really wanted to work for but they kept rejecting him. Still, he didn't stop applying and one day they said they had an opening but it wasn't for architecture, rather wayfinding (like designing directional signage etc. for facilities or even cities), and they asked if he had experience doing this. He lied and said yes and got the job. Now the guy is in his 70s, about to retire, and is super well known for his creative and clever wayfinding systems."
Mixed-ish
"Not me but my sister. A little background, we're mixed(ish). Our dad is white and our mom is Hispanic. I learned Spanish later on but my sister never learned it, but maybe because my mom and I are fluent in both Spanish and English I guess my sister thought she was fluent in Spanish by proxy."
"So on her application she lied and said she was fluent in Spanish. She didn't know at the time but the company's clientele was roughly 85% Hispanic, most of whom spoke little to no English. She had the job for a couple hours."
Tell the Truth
"College buddy left after four years or so. Couple years later we are hanging out and he is a energy commodity analyst. Wtf? Lied and said he had a mathematics degree. They never checked, he did well. Couple years later he gets a huge promotion to switch to another company. Tells the truth that time. They hire on the condition he finishes his degree. They got busy, told him to drop out. He is now a C level executive of a smaller energy logistics company."
- mtgmike
Pivot
Friends Lol GIF by HBO MaxGiphy"Said I could do pivot tables. Had a very basic knowledge of Excel. Got the job and literally never had to do a pivot table 🤣 Picked up a lot just by playing around with Excel too."
The Long Haul
"I applied for a job as a truck driver. The only experience I had was in a vehicle the size of a small U-Haul, delivering for a Vietnam veterans fundraising organization. Almost 18 years later, I'm still behind the wheel for the same company, and I've gotten my commercial driver's license."
Just Show Up!
"My uncle did this. Showed up for a mass interview. They said they would call people they wanted after. He didn't get a call, but found out where people were supposed to go the first day. He just showed up! I think when he was asked, he just told them that he had been told to come, even though his name wasn't on the list. He retired from that company about 45yrs later."
In America
"When my dad first arrived as an immigrant, he took an ESL class which among other things coached students on how to get a job. The teacher literally got up there and said, "here's how you get a job in America: lie." So my dad lies and told a construction crew he could drive a forklift. The first day, they asked him to get on the forklift. My dad said, oh, I only know how to use a different model of forklift. So they taught him how to drive the forklift, and he worked there for 20 years."
And you are?
hired money GIF by OriginalsGiphy"My boss hired someone that called the store and said, "I would like to confirm my interview is on this date." My coworker had never actually submitted an application or resume, my boss just assumed it got misplaced."
I got away with it!
"I was desperate for work after grad school, and lied about my skills in Salesforce (CRM software), when asked about it at the interview. I'd never even heard of it before! I claimed I've used it plenty, and the interviewer kept asking one question after another about Salesforce and I was so desperate, and also so embarrassed about lying, that my only choice was to lie even further to cover up the original lies."
"So by the end of the interview, I had dug myself into a hole of lies so deep, the only way I got out of it was because my new manager has obviously never used Salesforce herself either. So I get the job, and I'm thrown head first into becoming the team's new Salesforce wizard. Thankfully it was pretty easy to learn, and since I used it every day/all day long, I'd become pretty skilled at it in a few weeks. It's now the most honest part of my resume!"
The Little Lie
"It wasn't on my resume, per se. But when I was in my early 20s (55 now) I was working for a company doing basically video editing. They needed someone in the IT department, and the manager knew I had a home PC and asked me if I "knew anything about mainframes."
"I lied, said I did, and he transferred me. He figured out pretty quickly that I was full of crap, decided I was still the best candidate, rolled up his sleeves and taught the crap out of me. Over 30 years later, he's still the best boss I ever had, taught me how to be a husband and a father, taught me how to manage projects large and small and how to manage teams large and small."
"Still one of my best friends, considers me his second son and I certainly consider him my second father, and I've had an IT career ever since. Been the Director of IT for 3 separate companies, plus owned my own technical consulting firm, etc. So, that little lie worked out pretty good, I think."
- dramboxf
Zero
"Not me but have a friend who had basically zero experience in IT security make his Helpdesk experience on a resume look like he handled security related tasks and issues for years. Ended up getting an entry level IT security position and today is now a Senior IT security engineer making 150k."
- Thew211
Hey Alaska
Saturday Night Live Finger Guns GIF by HULUGiphy"I hired someone like this. In the interview he claimed to have experience working with all of our equipment and we hired him."
"He showed up from Alaska and had absolutely no idea what any of it was or how it worked. I spent three months training him on the most basic equipment and he couldn't figure it out."
The Comeback
"We hired someone who lied on their resume, it took about 2 weeks but we fired them. They later applied to a similar position with a different team in the same company and referenced working on my team. So yeah, they didn't get hired when the obvious reference check was made."
"I've also known of 2 cases where people were so bad at their jobs, it prompted someone to look up their degree and find it was fake. They got fired, and in one case sued. If you are going to lie, try to not lie big, or about something easily provable."
The Blacklister
"I was running the network for a pretty big company and the boss hired a temp to help me with a project. He claimed to have a lot of experience with Cisco routers. Within 2 days it was obvious that he had no experience at all, didn't even know how to log in to the router. He was fired by my company and blacklisted by the temp agency."
The truth is always best, until its not. But trying to do better in life is hardly a malevolent motive. Some small lies on a resume still prove to be productive. And nowadays you can learn anything on YouTube. That counts as a work study.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.