The social media influencing medium has grown exponentially over the past decade. What was once looked upon as a joke for ridicule is now a booming billion-dollar industry. (Now who's laughing?) One thing it proves for certain is that literally anyone can be famous, for absolutely nothing.
Although, to be fair, even content has grown and many of these "influencers" have turned small talent into fortune. In this new form of celebrity you can't help but wonder, as with most celebs, who these individuals are when they turn the camera off. If they turn the camera off, even just for a moment.Redditor u/superfuncity wanted to hear about the people who have the inside track on the social media "stars" of today by asking... IRL friends of social media "influencers": what is it like?
I can't imagine knowing and intertwining my life with someone who is constantly giving their attention away to literally everyone else but the person in front of them. Relationships, romantic or platonic, personal or business, are hard enough to keep in tact already without extra stress. But when one's entire life in consumed by garnering "likes," what kind of bond are you forging in reality?
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I dated one. Not super popular but followers in the 100k range last time we spoke.
I remember a lot of getting ignored and only receiving nice gifts/acts of kindness when they could post about it. Asking me to go to nice places (they didn't drive) only to leave me on a bench somewhere while they took pictures. Huge strain on the relationship, especially when they started to get bigger and there was more demand for content.
For the business...
She hasn't come to anything I've invited her to in 5 years because she only goes to events that "further her business." Regularly says things like, "we're all using each other for something." Sometimes she texts me the same exact thing word for word over a couple of days, and it's obvious she just copy/pastes the same thing and sends it to all of us and then forgets who she has sent it to.
She still reaches out to me multiple times a year and claims I'm one of her best friends, but it sure doesn't feel like it. I've told her as much, but she just says "this is my life now, my business comes first and if you can't accept that, then I guess you're not a real friend."
In the Fire
I'm from a small town and a family vlogger moved here a few years ago. a while back we there was a bad wildfire about 20-30 miles away from us. this fire was particularly bad (people were dying, losing homes, etc) but luckily it was pretty far from us and we weren't in any danger. you could smell the smoke but that was it.
However, this family posted a total clickbait "wE hAd to EvAcUaTe, tHeY tOld us to LeAvE, WiLDfiRE VlOg." this really pissed off everyone who lived here, since they were exploiting and profiting off a lie when people are actually losing everything. they were called out on all their platforms but would delete those comments.
This whole business seems built on the brand. Not a person's identity but their BRAND. I can relate, knowing tons up and coming actors, writers, musicians, etc. We're all told constantly... what's your style? What's your "brand"? How do you sell? Where do you fit? We've only ever had to fashion that brand on paper and present it in proper settings, our leg of the industry has never had to expose it on loop... until now. That sort of constant barrage can certainly influence a person's personal day to day. Depends on who they are really.
"I've come to believe..."
My partner has a little over a million on IG (around half that on her TikTok)
I had expected a lot worse from stories I've heard of in the past (especially on Reddit) but in our situation, it doesn't play that heavily into our day-to-day life as I had anticipated. Sure there are a few photo requirements if we've been invited to visit a hotel or eat at a nice restaurant in exchange for some PR but they're agreed in advance so we go in with a level of expectation - get the necessary photos then just enjoy the experience.
I've come to believe quite strongly that it really does depend on the individual. I've seen plenty of her friends with similar follower numbers obsess over ridiculous levels of detail, whether they look fat, capturing every single thing they do - but it does seem those with smaller numbers (10k to low 100s?) are the most likely to take to the platform with this level of obsession, whereas a lot seem quite relaxed over the million mark because they're considered to already 'have it made.'
She will sometimes use environment filters to adjust lighting and colour, photoshop elements to remove the odd pimple or people in the background but that's really about it. She's got quite solid and grounded self-confidence so very rarely will she modify any of her anatomy given that she's generally very satisfied with the way she looks (and granted she works very hard for it putting in the effort around healthy eating and fitness), again I'll often notice it's her more insecure influencer friends that feel the need to modify or god forbid even use face filters or photoshop away any evidence of fat or wrinkles - which is a great shame because so often they look beautiful until the modifications just eliminate their 'x-factor'.
A lot of the culture is definitely toxic - setting unrealistic expectations for beauty standards, the standard of living, relationships, etc, but I'd say I'm one of the very lucky ones.
We get quite a bit of engagement in the media (I've got a solid business reputation in my home country but it's tiny, whereas where we live in Southeast Asia I'm a total nobody without her). Said media regularly shares our 'pre-wedding' romantic photos and videos, writing articles about how amazingly in love we are, etc (Asian media tends to heavily over-dramatize their writing on the subject of celebrity relationships) however it's been quite refreshing that she's a very straight shooter in interviews - when asked what our relationship is like she's brutally honest. We fight plenty, we get in heated debates, our cultures are so different, English is her second language and I'm very limited in speaking hers so communication requires a LOT of patience and energy, at times we consider is it worth continuing our relationship at all, etc.
I was apprehensive at first about her raw honesty publicly, but her immediate response to me was "As long as we still want to be with each other, why should we care about keeping up a facade to the public? Our relationship is with each other not them, so whether they react positively or not it won't influence our feelings for each other."
And indeed it turned out to be a very positive choice both for the public's reaction, but also for our own relationship in recognizing that we don't have to stick to some imaginary guidelines set by social media all the time, that it's healthiest and actually more popular that we just be ourselves.
That last one was insightful.
How other cultures might feel about influencers isn't necessarily the way influencers are regarded in the West. Fascinating.
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It's annoying AF. One of my buddies is constantly filming everything we do and posting it. It's to the point where people walk up to me on the street and ask me about him because they've seen me in his posts...
I have no idea who they are.
It dominates everything he does, and has severely impacted his personal relationships. He can't keep a GF and it's clearly related to this obsession of his. He does occasionally get some cool stuff out of it though.
After pretty much kicking him out of my life because I do not want to be continually posted online, we've come to the understanding that when he's about to take a pic or video, he hands me the phone so i'm not in the shot. Works OK for me.
That was sad to read.
But isn't necessarily the norm. Let's continue and see what else is in store.
"Not a friend..."
Not a friend, but a past colleague. She would bring multiple outfits in case there was a good photo opp that day and quickly change. She'd ask whoever was with her to take photos. I made the mistake of saying yes once and realized I signed up for a 300 photoshoot that lasted over half an hour. The worst part is she then proceeded to ask me which photo was the best between two agonizingly similar options. I have an eye for detail but even this was extreme. I couldn't believe how much time was wasted.
But to her, it was normal and even productive. In hindsight, seeing as her social media could also be a source of income it would make sense that she'd work that hard. But she was and still is a micro-influencer at best (less than 5000 followers) who didn't have that many brand deals. She was also very self-conscious of certain parts of her body and seemed to lack healthy self-esteem. It was one of those cases where I truly felt sorry for her and definitely cared for her well-being, but felt it was best to leave to professionals to address that.
Depends on the position...
I worked with Youtube influencers in my last job with an agency that paired sponsors with these 'celebrities'. I basically did the grunt work like ensuring hotels/plane tickets, getting coffee, running errands and meeting with the talent to ensure they were where they needed to be (e.g., events, conferences, trade shows, parties or whatever).
Over time you make friends with others who are in those positions, especially when you're running errands for some entitled pseudo-celebritiy.
The nicest Youtubers were the animators - always calm and understanding.
The worst were the family vloggers - I've met all the big ones & I never met one that wasn't a completely different person off camera. The kids are always spoiled and no one disciplines them so they're running around breaking things or acting like idiots, and no one can yell at them lest their influencer parents find out.
Close second is makeup Youtubers.
"Being an influencer..."
My roommate is a minor one in the tech field. He's very forward-thinking and doesn't have a lot of patience. Legit ADHD, doesn't read books, works 24/7. He's a nice person and we're friends, though
Being an influencer is not important to him, it's more like the marketing division of his many money-making schemes. He doesn't give a sh!t about anyone he interacts with online.
Friends with a high profile athlete who is pretty popular on insta.... he is always on the phone... never lives in the moment. If we are doing anything fun? Well, it basically didn't happen unless the world knows about it. Its just annoying... I can't imagine living for the approval or satisfaction of others.
It doesn't look like the influencing game is for everyone though. Plenty of people have tried and failed. I have a friend, God love her, who continues to believe everyone wants to see her cooking, cleaning and bathing in champagne while reading Dickens, yes that is a thing. But she just can't get to that special 100K number that apparently is a golden ticket moment. She is desperate on the daily. I try to tell her, not everybody is meant to spread joy through the influence or while sitting on the toilet singing "Wicked."
Living through the phone...
My ex gf. I couldn't eat before she took a dozen picture. We went hiking and had to turn around less than a mile in since she spent an hour taking videos and posting photos. Service connection wasn't good enough so we went to the trail head. She had to post or else "people are going to think I'm broke or depressed and they need to know I'm traveling." She lived her life though her phone.
"She religiously preaches..."
I don't speak to her anymore but she was one of my closest friends. She religiously preaches about being a 'girls girl'. I know that a few years ago, she was willingly and knowingly the 'other woman' for ages. He had specific days that he saw his girlfriend, she saw him on the other days and she actually got jealous when she knew he was with his girlfriend. The whole hypocrisy makes me cringe.
I've got a close friend who became an influencer late into the friendship.
She's great. Things changed a little and sometimes the "let's take a video/pic" thing gets annoying but it doesn't bother me too much.
I'm not very ~aesthetic~ or Instagram hot but she's never treated me differently or poorly despite her ever-growing platform.
I also don't think her personality has changed at all. She's dope. I get why people want to follow her.
I was with a guy at Coachella, he has a pretty good following on IG. He posted something while we were watching a concert and could not look away from his phone. I asked him when he'd eventually put his phone away and he said he would when he got over 1,000 likes.
I couldn't believe it.
Not too surprising, however.
How many times have you been at a large event only to see some people who can't seem to just be present at the event without looking at their phones constantly.
One wonders if they're doing the same thing.
The 2020 Brand...
I post travel photos and have about two hundred followers. 200, not 2000 or higher.
My friend somehow thought that was influencer status and decided to copy me - except she quit her job so she could travel more and "grow her own brand". In 2020. She lost her apartment, her car, and still hasn't found a job, but calls herself a professional influencer all the same.
"It definitely was a strain..."
I am married to one. He didn't start out on YouTube when we first started dating. He's doing really well and it grows everyday, he's currently in the 350k following range. It definitely was a strain on our relationship at first and work/life balance has been a work in progress. Being open and honest about expectations has made a great difference, and now that this is a full-time job for him, he's able to have a better balance. Yes, he is definitely on his phone more than most for sure, but he's really great at being present in the moment. And thank goodness he's not one of those that just start filming randomly walking down the street, I would go running.
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I know a wannabe influencer. She will reply to her own posts from her husband's account praising herself. Then she will reply to those posts as herself thanking him, it's hilarious, like inception for Facebook.
Do wannabe influencers count? My buddy is constantly posting and sending workout Snapchat and Insta posts, and tagging himself in nutritional shops. He's constantly looking for something to film or photograph himself doing stuff. For example, we were walking on a trail last summer, and he threw his tank off and asked me to take a photo of him doing a pull-up on a tree. I started laughing and took the photo. Does he continue working out? Nope. Throws his tank back on and we continue walking. I'm like ok what was the point of that...
"I know an influencer..."
I know an influencer that literally got herself into debt trying to live up to the role! All for a few free items of clothing that she tries to flog once she's posted a pic in them. Even staged her engagement. So sad.
My cousin has a YouTube channel he does for a living. Not huge, has like 20k subs but he does other side stuff with it he can live on. For the most part, he's still the same besides constantly documenting stuff (he did that beforehand anyway since he's a photographer too). Some stuff is ingenious but he still acts the same for the most part as far as I remember.
"One was a clanmate of mine..."
I know a bunch of these!
One was a clanmate of mine from 15 years ago who went from top-level talent in a game with a niche competitive scene to the top streamer of a mainstream game. His personality on stream is actually like 90% close to reality, he's just more elitist in private. Still a cool guy, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has an 8 digit bank account, really happy for him. Don't talk to him too much but we spark a conversation like once a year by sheer coincidence (meeting by chance on matchmaking in the newest game) about new gaming topics and whatnot. He confessed to me that he really misses focusing on competitive playing but there's no money to it and competitive-worthy games either don't exist or are too late to get into.
One is a Twitch streamer girl who averaged 300-500 views and is sponsored by a gaming clan at any given time. She's actually pretty good in one game in particular, but not at a pro-level. I met her twice in person with my brother and it was insightful. I don't care for esports at all so I kinda tuned out 90% of the conversations while enjoying my food, but it was amusing hearing her express her true feelings about her viewers. These are guys that are donating thousands of dollars just to be able to group with her in Discord and Overwatch matchmaking parties. Meanwhile, she asked to play and meet with us with $0 investment on our end. Why do you guys do this to yourselves? Donating actually lowers a girl streamer's opinion of you, they reluctantly put on a smile to play with your creepy clinging self because hey you donated a lot of money. They don't want to shatter your fragile sense of entitlement and ego since it means you may stop donating.
One guy went from obscure sub-20 viewer counts to millions in Tiktok. He was a tenuous friend of a friend and I already had my reservations before meeting him (this was pre-TikTok). Guy was actually quite funny, but came off as a talker-but-no-walk. He was heavily into PUA and macho topics like joining the Navy Seals. Now he makes embarrassing content catered to tween girls across the globe and took down all his old content which included the likes of "How to train like a Navy Seal", "A women's place in the world and gender roles", "How I became a chef and fighter", "How I dealt with being homeless", "Fist fighting with my dad" (he farms views with skits featuring his dad today). This is the guy who's claimed to be in over 2000 fights. All in all, it was an interesting shift in content to witness!
Last is the guy I know least about, some guy I met in college. Honestly, same vibes as the previous guy but with less humor. He hasn't had the breakthrough success of millions of underaged girls following him on TikTok yet.
"But hey, that's life."
My boyfriend is actually a newly popular horror Youtuber. With him recently gaining over 700K subscribers in the past year alone. I've been with him for a year and a half. Known him for almost 2 years. When I met him he had just a little over 1000 subscribers.
Honestly, he hasn't changed at all with his increasing popularity. If anything he has just become more passionate about his work. Spending hours and hours making sure that his videos are perfect. It's also nice because he shows me his videos before he posts them asking for honest opinions. I always give him honest feedback and try to help out. One of my favorite things though is helping him find good video ideas, figuring out a good title, and judging his thumbnails.
I even booked us a night at a haunted hotel for his birthday just to support his channel. He told me he had always wanted to film a video at that specific hotel. So obviously I thought it would be a nice gift. Just seeing how excited he got made it so worth it to spend the night at a creepy hotel and explore it after midnight. I would honestly do anything to support him. It's his passion in life and he works so hard to keep it up. He makes me so proud. So honestly, it's not bad.
The only downside is sometimes people will find my social media through him and send me nasty messages. His ex is in some of his older videos from when he first started out his channel. So people will also randomly message me saying that I don't deserve him or question where his ex went and why I'm with him and she's not. Its sad because people don't know the full story and just assume things. I've had people message me asking why I broke them up when in reality she was really manipulative and cheated on him. (I do not really tell my boyfriend when people message me because it makes him feel bad).
But hey, that's life. I don't really let it bother me anymore, just people trying get a reaction out of me lmao. Other than that thing I'd say it's pretty great having my boyfriend as an "influencer" and I'm here to support it. It's amazing seeing your partner thrive and achieve success.
Okay, that was pretty sweet.
See, it's not all bad.
"Had known them both for years..."
Two well-known animal YouTubers/influencers. Had known them both for years not really personally, but casually in the community. Enough so I guess I survived the facebook drafts when they got "too big" and removed most non-personal acquaintances.
Reached out to them to ask for help sharing a GoFundMe when my dog fell ill. Didn't ask for money, just use some of that power to help spread the word. I'm not in the habit of asking people for anything but I'd swallow my pride to help my dog when I've burned through all savings and the bills were piling up still. Both left me on read. Felt like a slap in the face as I had shared their content for years but this was somehow too big an ask.
That's just sad.
And says quite a lot about who these people are.
I know two in real life— one who, while she is not massively successful yet, has about 20k followers, and the other who is trying to build her brand.
The one with 20k was a roommate of mine, and quite irritating to be honest. Very "fake" as you'd expect, and obsessed with money, despite struggling to make our $383 rent. She'd bash her then-boyfriend for not having Apple products or caring about his "status," would regularly pose with expensive sports cars, and did everything she could to fake wealth.
The other is one of the most sincere people I've met, and aside from some photoshopping of her photos, seems quite genuine. We work together in retail and she of course doesn't include that aspect of her life, but she's trying to build a lifestyle brand. I get it. At least she isn't obnoxious about it, and promotes affordable clothing.
This last one though...
This last one is a doozy.
A Frightening Turn of Events
Around 2008-2009, my 14-year-old cousin created a Facebook account and started posting photos of herself. Very quickly her page became a beauty blog and was reaching thousands of unique visitors a day. For a 14-year-old girl from a town in the middle of nowhere, managing to make something out of what she loved doing and on a fledgling social media website, it was a phenomenal achievement. She started getting sponsors of all kinds. Make-up, skincare, hair products, clothes, eye contacts, and all sorts of accessories were being sent to her home, which would later become a problem. Meanwhile, her parents didn't know what to make of it.
Being immigrants in a rapidly growing technological world, they didn't know much about the internet themselves, so they couldn't really offer her much help, let alone protect her from the terrible impending events. With all the attention she was getting and a growing base of followers and visitors, she started getting a lot of haters as well. People were just saying the nastiest of things on her page and in her DMs, and grotesque men were constantly trying to hit on her. When she rejected them or tried to ignore them they would blow up on her, calling her fat and ugly. That did some real damage to her confidence and self-image and she developed anorexia and depression and started to become estranged.
Despite all that, she managed to start dating a boy who was close to a family friend, and everyone considered him a very respectful, mature, and patient young man. He was just a year older than her and he was very understanding and was supportive of her but suggested they keep their relationship private and known only to family and close friends. The boy was a godsend, she was the happiest she's ever been with anyone and he got her to stop her anorexia, and she was slowly healing.
Unfortunately, her online fan base and haters caught wind of their relationship and it seemed like half of them just turned on her. The harassment worsened and the threats worsened, her anorexia was back, as well as the sponsors were beginning to drop, and since she was using her real address to receive products from sponsors, she got doxxed. Strange people started stalking her to and from school and were messaging her details about her private life and family. She was receiving death threats towards her and her family and she started to become paranoid and fell even further into depression.
That was the final straw, and my aunt and uncle called for an intervention for her. All of our family came together to show her our love and support for her and unanimously agreed it would be best to have her step away from Facebook or any other kind of social media. My aunt and uncle moved them far away across the country and started being more careful about the internet.
Today, she's a happy and healthy woman with a love for the outdoors and traveling. She has a Facebook but only uses it to keep in touch with close friends and family. She's finishing up her schooling at a State University and she's been married to the same boyfriend that helped and supported her through those dark times. They are expecting to buy a house and starting a family soon.
I frequent a gossip blog that has a handful of crackpot commenters who (savvier members claim) have created multiple accounts to start drama and argue with themselves and others.
The same individual has been accused of this multiple times and the accusers seem pretty positive about it - it's a MAJOR disruption and pain in the ass for those of us just there to read the blind items and guess the celebrity or talk some standard trash.
At one point the sitemaster had to rejigger the whole site to implement a new commenting platform so we could self-regulate. It's a shame, we lost almost ten years of historical comments (with accurate juicy details) as a result.
Hey don't judge me we all have our weird little communities, right?
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To be honest it's really crap. I feel like I've been completely forgotten about and like I don't matter anymore. I think that's just some weird misguided jealousy but it still hurts because I miss talking to my friend.
Sad. In the beginning they started because they got offers from brands because they were so popular on Instagram and it was a lot of fun for them.
Now they don't ever post pictures or videos without a filter. Rarely ever like a picture on the first try and don't you dare post any pictures of them without getting their approval for it. Imagine trying to get a group picture with all of your friends for your birthday but having you take almost one hundred shots to get one that your influencer friend is happy with.
Also in the beginning I would like and comment on all of their posts but now that's not enough. They expect me message it others, share it on my stories and my page (something about new rhythms and likes not being important anymore). I hate posting stuff to my page but I do it any way to be supportive.
It is so tiring. They do get free things sometimes though that they sometimes share with me. Not worth it imo.
Lord these people are a handful. Some of these stories could be an E True Hollywood story.
Let's take a trip...
Pretty mundane, honestly. My friend is conventionally attractive, and if you look at her social media, you'd think she were a supermodel millionaire who goes on tons of trips.
She's actually chronically unemployed, and has an income of less than 10k/yr. Her boyfriend makes about $60k/yr which is enough to afford them a very nice 3 1/2 bedroom apartment, and she has tons of props she uses to make each room look different from day to day so it seems like she's always in a new, exotic place. They take two trips a year to fun, tropical places, in which she takes many photos, and posts them as different places throughout the year.
She's a very kind, considerate, sparkling personality, but whenever we hang out, I tend to be a shoulder to cry on as she laments about her lack of success in life. It's quite sad, honestly. But with her creativity and personality, I think she'll achieve her dreams eventually.
Cutting the Aesthetic...
So incredibly annoying. I actually ended up cutting her off because everything had to be a photo opportunity. We could never just go out to lunch, or see a movie without it turning into a photoshoot. She never did anything with our friend group unless it was 'aesthetic', and even then, she was so focussed on getting us to take photos that a. she didn't get to enjoy the activity, and b. it started bringing everyone else down because they couldn't participate either.
And this sounds so petty, but she could never just show up in a t-shirt and leggings (because photos, obviously). Like even sleepovers and movie nights had to be a big production and sometimes you just need to stuff your face with popcorn and look like a slob! It's good for the soul!!
She'd also complain a lot about how hard her job was... Our friendship group at the time consisted of an EMT, two nurses, a teacher, and me who was juggling university, tutoring, and working retail. Lile, I'm sure she had challenges and all jobs are hard sometimes, but... girl.... you get paid to take selfies with free stuff, and show up at events looking pretty.
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Exactly as fake and staged as you imagine it to be, the on-camera moments are completely non genuine. It is in the end just an acting/modeling job and not their real personality.
Do these people even know who they are anymore? Did they ever?
A girl in my homeschool group in middle school was always bragging about how her parents had a youtube channel with thousands of subscribers. she was really arrogant about it and i didn't enjoy spending time with her because she was a brat. the funny thing is nobody ever believed her (including myself) until one day i stumbled across a video of theirs while scrolling through youtube. sure enough, they had thousands of subscribers. she hadn't been lying and i was shocked. now they have well over a million. they don't upload very often anymore though.
Got a friend with 75k subscribers on Youtube in a language other than English. It used to be about their weekend getaways with nice drone shots. It was interesting.Then, gradually became about their lives (how interesting /s). She's get her phone/camera out at sometimes random moments, which could get annoying.
She got pregnant. Baby everything now.
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She is annoying... there's no other word to describe her. Feel sorry for her because she is a person that needs attention all the time. (We are not friends but we live in the same house).
I sold my place to one a while ago. One of those newly green, sustainable, body - positivity types. Pretty much everything about what this person projects as her social media image is fake as it turned out. It was quite a sobering experience.
I'm thinking about becoming an influencer. Just a for a quick million or two. And because I love free things. It's an actual obsession. If it's free, it's for me. That screams to be on a shirt, doesn't it? Hint hint to my followers reading. I mean most of these people above are doing well. Sure their crap humans who value fake attention over authentic contact but... they get free stuff. I'll keep y'all updated.
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No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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One of the most freeing realizations I've had was when I understood that not everyone was going to like me.
That's just the way it is for all of us, and I learned that it would be unfair for me to dedicate so much time worrying about what others might think.
It changed my life—improved it, I'd say.
That, combined with my willingness to take responsibility for my own actions, was crucial to my self-development.
Whether it's an epiphany or experience, there are many things that can happen and can successfully shift your perspective.
People shared their stories after Redditor drewyourstory asked the online community:
"What life event or experience changed your perspective?"
"From this, I learned..."
"Nearly died of a post-surgical hypoxic brain injury, followed by a variety of problems subsequently."
"From this, I learned that mortality is a fragile thing in a random, amoral universe."
It truly is. We really have no say in it either.
We really do not have control.
"Once you get your own place..."
"Once you finally get your own place, you appreciate and feel gratitude for things that you used to take for granted."
"It's helped me maintain..."
"My husband died after a sudden short illness. My life is divided by that point in time."
"There is before and after, I'm a different person now nearly 12 years later but I'm okay with that. It's helped me maintain a good perspective dealing with my current partner's stroke."
"He's doing ok but will never have the mobility he once had. Just taking one day at a time."
Sorry for your loss.
Silver linings exist... even in tragedy.
"I can put up with..."
"My spouse developed a chronic pain illness. She spent months in debilitating pain and there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do to help."
"When we finally got a diagnosis, she was able to start on some medications that improved her quality of life to near where it had been."
"Suddenly little problems just didn't seem important anymore. I can put up with a whole hell of a lot more than I ever thought possible because at least my partner's not in burning pain constantly anymore."
Thankfully, your partner is healthier, and the experience undoubtedly made you a stronger person!
"I had both hips replaced..."
"I had both hips replaced at 25 and will owe money for the rest of my life."
"My debt to income ratio keeps me from normal things like owning a house. I don't sweat missing a bill now and then anymore."
Society really should not allow this to happen.
"I think every single human..."
"I think every single human has experienced the feeling of post-traumatic guilt caused by something they've done in the past."
"For example, in elementary school, I had a best friend whose family was struggling financially. One day, he brings coins (pennies and nickels only) for his school lunch that day."
"I, for some stupid reason, smacked the change out of his hand as he took the change out to count how much he had."
"I got yelled at by the principal, who was walking behind me, and got suspended. Ever since that day, I have never ever made fun of someone's financial stability, given people money (especially the homeless), and never smacked anything out of anyone's hands."
"That moment changed my perspective on how the treatment towards others comes back to bite you."
"Holding my eight year old brother as he died from extreme medical incompetence then being stuck with his body for twenty minutes as a ventilator made his corpse breathe and a fault in the heart monitor didn't trigger the alarm to bring help and the nurses ignored the call light because they were 'busy with another patient'."
"I cared about people before then. I can switch that off and on at will now."
"Being from Canada..."
"Being from Canada, we're pretty sheltered here, so traveling to other parts of the world and seeing how poor some communities are really made me realize how lucky we are and how good we have it."
Many people in the Western world would learn a hell of a lot if they were humbled by the way others around the world live.
"I love him..."
"Having a child with autism. He is the most loving, kind, intelligent young man."
"I love him more than anything in the world, but I have to consider everyday events that others take for granted. There are things that will be overly stressful for him, and without any glaring differences, people are often not understanding."
"Family gatherings, grocery store visits, haircuts, the dentist, everything is planned."
"The world can be a noisy, chaotic, inconsistent place which are all things he really hates, but he meets every challenge head-on and I couldn't be prouder to call him my son."
"Have you ever just stood..."
"Have you ever just stood and looked at a dead person? The first dead person I ever saw was my father... I've seen probably more than my share after that too."
"Looking at someone with their lights permanently turned off changes something in you."
No one is immune from life's tragedies or trials and tribulations.
How do you handle them, though? That's the real test.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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