Has anything ever happened and you just feel every part of your body clench up in response?
Alternatively has someone ever said something and you just feel a little part of your soul fly out the window?
Well, you are not alone. Daily, someone, somewhere is cringing to hard that they're dying a little on the inside.
Here were some of their answers.
Farted and sneezed at the same time whilst queuing at a fast food place. Because of the sneeze, the fart shot out so fast it actually hurt my butt so i screamed "ouch!" As it happened.
Felt like a proper fool. Kl0pp0s
In the 7th grade.....
In the 7th grade, I got my back to school clothes. For some reason, I thought yellow pants and a yellow Hawaiian shirt looked AWESOME . I was excited to wear this new outfit. We were not wealthy, so having new clothes like this was a big deal for me.
Sitting in my English class I received a note. It said "Are you the mustard man?" and was signed by every.person.in.the..class and as I read it, they all burst out in laughter. All of them.
Its a moment in life where you have to laugh or cry and either way you die inside.
I chose to laugh.
Kids are cruel. siberian
When I was 18 and at a carnival with a group of people I knew from school, including my long-time crush. At some point, people started dropping off from the group, going on rides, getting food, that kind of stuff. Eventually, it was only me, my crush and my little sister (little as in almost 16). I kept waiting for her to leave, too, to go find some of her friends or whatever.
After hanging out together for another 15 or so minutes, it slowly dawned on me that it wasn't him and me waiting for her to leave, but them waiting for me to leave. They shortly after became a couple for a few months.
It later turned out that they got to know each other at my 18th birthday party two months prior (they never met before). When my sister got back later that evening she told me that and said "you don't mind, do you?"
I did mind, very much. WgXcQ
I hate getting packages.
I received a set of boxes in the mail with no return address on a Monday morning. When I opened the boxes I started noticing stuff that is my mom's (her handwriting on notes) this seems to be some sort of care package from my mom! (Was in college at the time). As I opened more, there were all these documents? I was confused, then I found the note. My mom committed suicide but planned it all out. She sent me a list of "things to take care of now that she's gone". Now I hate getting packages. Natyskillz
I was 10.
When my dad told me he was obligated to love me, but he didn't have to like me.
I was 10. And I was absolutely crushed. levelonesc
"I have baby brains"
I found a resident at my work (CNA) crying and when asked what was wrong he responded;
"I have baby brains."
For some context, I work at a traumatic brain injury center. For these types of people, this is their permanent home. And coming from someone who is usually caught in a three sentence loop, the self realization was something I didn't think he was capable of.
"EWWWW NO I DON'T!"
In 4th grade, my school had a fundraiser around Valentine's Day where you could buy a carnation for $1, or a rose for $2; it would then be delivered with a message to the person of your choosing. I liked a boy in my class, so I decided to buy him a rose and write a note from his "secret admirer."
Well, I couldn't wait for the rose to be delivered, so I wrote a note and slid it under his book when he got up to go to the bathroom. His friend saw because I'm about as stealthy as an elephant on roller skates. Friend took the note, read it out loud when the boy got back. The rose came not long after. The boy took it, looked at me, snapped the rose in half, and threw it in the trash.
Also there was the recurring instance of being the target of "My friend likes you!" "EWWWW NO I DON'T!" Does wonders for a girl's self-esteem, especially since my mom continued the insults at home lol. ymcmbrofisting
When you gotta blow....
When I was about 9 I was in a school assembly (all 400~ students and all teachers). At our school assembly's the students sat cross legged on wooden floor in the sports hall.
Well, I had to fart, and I assumed it would be quiet. It was not. It ended up being extremely loud and was amplified by the wooden floor. letsgetblitzed
At a company event. As we left, my colleagues were nowhere to be found as I walked outside. So I waited there. Turns out they were taking a group photo without me. Breadstick_Bowtie
Was on a Skype call for work with about 25 other people. Had the mic on my computer turned all the way up and was typing on my computer almost continuously. About 15 minutes into the meeting, someone finally IM's me to turn off my mic because nobody could hear what was being said. DeathSpiral321
I had a customer who was holding and examining an awkward, fragile, and expensive item with one hand... I asked her to please hold it with two.
She turned to look at me. She only had one arm.
When I was in high school I used to swim competitively, so speedos, hat, etc etc.
One morning session I was running a bit late and got changed super quick and went out to the poolside with my gear getting ready for the training session, when one of the girls (who I happened to fancy at the time) informed me that one of my testicles was hanging out the side of my speedos. I thought it felt a bit breezy as I ran out the changing room but never crossed my mind what had happened. I look back and laugh about it now but my god the embarrassment at the time. I still wonder how many others saw and didn't say anything hahaha
At The Bee
5th grade spelling bee. I made it to the school-wide level, which was the third round in (first i had to beat my own class, then beat the other 5th grade classes, and next was the whole school).
My first word was biscuit. Easy.
My second word was soccer. Also easy.
Except for the fact that I was a bit nervous being up on stage, with the whole school in attendance, including my mom who was there for support. It got in my head a little bit.
I heard soccer and thought "okay, this is easy. Remember, there are two C's in soccer. two C's, two C's..."
*step up to the microphone*
*instantly knew what I did*
*facepalmed myself in front of everyone*
Despite this realization, and the fact I had already lost, my brain kept the letters mixed up and I spelled the rest of the word.
Any COSSER fans here? Or, as you may call it in your country, BUTFOL?
Interviewing a potential student who is interested in my school, he has a huge green circle around his eye.
"Wow, quite a black eye! what'd you do?"
"I was born like this"
Up Up And Away
Once bought a bottle of Pepsi in a meal deal but didn't have space to put it in my bag. In my infinite wisdom, I decided to pour the contents into my reusable water bottle so I wouldn't have to carry both bottles. It was one of them bottles that has the straw in it and you flip the top up when you want a drink.
Opened it in a little hardware store later in the day and the gas had built up in the bottle and it spurted out like a water gun all over the wall and ceiling. I was so embarrassed and tried my best to clean it up for them but all the staff could do was laugh. One of them told me I was stood in the perfect spot for the CCTV to pick it up and he would be watching it back later.
In And Out
I went to an interview once where one of the two people interviewing me asked if I knew French. I said I knew core French so they decided to conduct the interview completely in French...
I can understand when someone speaks French to me, I can read and write fluently in French, but I cant for the life of me speak French. It was so bad that one of the interviewers got up and left halfway through and didn't come back.
Needless to say I didn't get the job.
Last year a work friend of mine died. After his funeral, a large group of us went to pub to have a few drinks in remembrance of him. Someone suggested to get a group photo of everyone there. I was asked to take the photo.
It probably shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, but it did.
Pity Is The Worst
When my cousin (almost brother) died from a weird disease, and all our family members who'd watched us grow up together and be inseparable, would look at me with pity and silent compassion. it just made me feel worse every time. they still do it every now and then, even though tomorrow will be three years since he passed, and it still makes me feel awful.
Down The Drain
I knew I was coming down with what I was sure was going to be an absolute bastard of a cold. Already beginning to feel a little fuzzy in the brain, I decided to make myself some chicken soup in advance to get me through the worst of it. I chopped some carrots, chopped some onions, threw in a chicken carcass and over the course of about four hours made the most bomb stock you could imagine.
Then my dumb self poured it through a colander directly into the sink. It took me a good thirty seconds before I realised what I'd done, then I just sat on the kitchen floor for about ten minutes, gazing at the opposite wall and wishing real life had a CTRL-Z function.
When Their Joke Went Too Far
I crochet and my old boss at work asked me for a scarf. He requested lilac, which I thought was odd, but he was super insistent and even sent me a color chart pointing out the exact shade he wanted. I bought the yarn and made him a scarf, but then ran into him and mentioned the scarf again and he started cracking up saying he was joking. Definitely embarrassing but I'm glad I didn't actually bring it with me and give him the scarf only to find out he was being an jerk. I wound up giving it to another coworker who was watching the whole thing play out and she was super appreciative!
The human body is an amazing instrument and whole handful of mess. Like, what was God thinking? Was he thinking?
Or is it evolution's fault? So many questions left unanswered. And as much as I tried to pay attention in anatomy class, there are still spaces without detail.
Like... why does anyone have nipples? And so much hair, everywhere.
Even in this new, body positive era, the human body may be beautiful, but it ain't perfect.
Redditor u/The-Regal-Deathless wanted to discuss, the body and all of its mess by asking:
What's the biggest design fail of the human body?
Dogs. Dogs have a way better design. We tend to be far more clunky. We could've all be calibrated with more precise measurements at least. Let's see who agrees...
Tiny Issuesfact toes GIFGiphy
"Little toe, that tiny mf just there to get brutally abused by furniture."
"The fact that we have the tail bone but no tail, WE COULD HAVE A TAIL, BUT WE DON'T. Oh yeah, AND WE COULD HAVE STRIPES, under a certain light (forgot which type) you can see stripes on our skin. HUMANS COULD BE SO MUCH VISUALLY COOLER BUT WE JUST AREN'T. And funny bones, never hit it too much but when I do, it sucks, evolution just wanted to mess with us I swear 😤."
"Period, wth were they thinking."
"What I don't get about periods/cramps is why they are painful. Pain is supposed to be the way your body lets you know something is wrong. But periods are completely normal and occur regularly… so why do they hurt? (Even without medical issues I mean) Just freaking expel the blood/uterine lining and be done with it. I don't need the drama!! Haha."
"Hair, particularly in males, has a tendency to "slide" downwards as they age, growing on the back, chest, and butt but leaving the top of the head exposed. There needs to be a stronger epoxy in our hair that keeps in on top of the head where it belongs, an a repellent on the rest of the body where it doesn't belong, to prevent this downward "slide."
LashedLady Gaga Makeup GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Eyelashes getting into your eyes and them feeling horrible. Also inhaling little bit of spit and you suffer a tiny death while coughing up what feels like all your innards."
Now eyelashes I love. I do, real or fake. I'm here for body flare but some of those other thoughts, I'm in agreement. I'm sorry for women and that "time of the month." God may definitely be a man with that one.
GO!!!black and white dancing GIFGiphy
"Knees. Seriously. These things get damaged so easily and just cause so much pain. Sure, they look cool, at first. But damnit, when they go - THEY GO."
"Spinal cord. In general. Look at how pressure and weight get applied, then look at spines for bipedal creatures, and it's kind of darkly funny."
"Well, everything here... but we also evolved as quadrupeds. Why you get so many back problems, knee problems, hip problems, organs not hanging but compressing each other. Lungs can't drain. We aren't really meant to walk upright. But it sorta worked. Just like everything else... it sorta works..."
"That those with penises have to expect them to stop working efficiently as they age, while those with vaginas have to experience random symptoms presenting out of nowhere (menopause) until they die, after years of their uterus ripping itself apart when an egg isn't fertilized. We got some problems."
"Wisdom teeth. Just, why?"
"Mine are weird. Still have all 4. Upper right is on an 45 degree angle. Lower ones are out for the most part. Upper left was supposed to come down when I had a molar next to it pulled… never appeared 6 years later. They aren't causing me problems but I'm probably getting them taken out this year. Might as well."
AirwaysHasan Minhaj Netflix GIF by Patriot ActGiphy
"Breathing and eating through one hole. I guess it's common among all animals not just humans but still, the Devs should be fired for that one."
Knees need more strength and I'd kill for more ways to breath, especially on a treadmill. The body is a mystery and a conundrum. But, it's all we've got, so take care of it.
In an ideal world, every relationship has open, clear communication and there are no surprises when it comes to the state of the relationship. It's simply about laying the groundwork and creating a partnership.
But we don't live in an ideal world and some people do not have the skills to communicate like this. Instead they completely blindside their partners and put them in impossible positions.
So when Redditor u/JJBoB159 asked:
"What is the coldest way you found out your relationship was over?"
Here were some of the icy answers.
And The Fish Died Too
"I was heading home from college for three days, and I had asked my girlfriend to take care of my fish, I had an aquarium in my dorm room."
"I knew that we were having some miscommunication, so I wrote a letter to share what I was feeling."
"It was a very nice letter, and I was explaining that she meant a lot to me and that I was willing to do what it takes to keep the relationship working. And thank you for taking care of the fish."
"When I got back to college, when she saw me she said, 'We have to talk.'"
"I thought it was about the letter. She told me her friend asked about her relationship, and at first, she said it was fine, but her friend pressed her and said, 'is it really though?'"
"Then she began to realize it wasn't fine. So she decided to break up with me. I said, 'Did you read the letter?'"
"'What letter?' she said. 'The one I taped to the front of the fish tank.'"
"'Oh, after I decided to break up with you, I didn't think about feeding your fish.'"-Pongfarang
"Back in 1988, my mom's long term boyfriend went to go buy the Sunday paper and never came home. My mom thought he had been murdered, cops were involved, etc."
"If he was found at the time, my mom never heard of it. She spiraled into depression and ended up in the psych ward at the hospital. She learned later that he had abandoned us and moved to Nebraska to be with his ex wife."
"I found his address once the internet exploded and asked my mom if she wanted to contact him, but she declined. F**k you Jeff."-decanderus
Straight Up Cold
"One girl I was dating gave me a big basket of snacks and puzzle books for a week-long road trip I was taking."
"I tried calling her all week and never got ahold of her, when I got home at 3 am I found that she had left me a break up note the day after I had left, and had started sleeping with a co-worker the day I left."-JustAnoutherGeek
People sometimes just don't have the gall to actually break up with their partners.
Just The Worst Kind Of Person
"I visited my parents one weekend. While I was gone, he changed his relationship status to single and f**ked some other girl in our bed."
"His reasoning? We weren't Facebook official at the time, so it was ok. I came home to her picture on the nightstand instead of mine, so the he had planned the whole thing in advance."-0w1
"My girlfriend was cheating on me with 2 other guys. She tried asking out a third guy, and me and him happened to be close friends and he knew I was dating her, so he told me about it."
"I texted her saying that you have some explaining to do, and she played dumb, so I finally told her about it and her first response was 'WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!'"
"Yeah. Apparently getting revenged mattered more to the little sh*t than my feelings."
"I told her that it doesn't matter but she said she wouldn't explain if I didn't tell her, so (with my friends consent) I told her that he told me and she instantly started going on this long tirade about how he had ruined everything or some sh*t."
"I blocked her afterwards."-DiggityDog6
Such A Sad Moment
"This is a 3rd party story. I was a car insurance agent and when people split up and moved addresses they would call us and we'd split the policy."
"Car A with person A at address A and the rest at address B etc. When one person calls in, once the policy is split we call the other party to confirm the address, coverages etc."
"Well one day a woman calls in saying she and her husband are splitting up and she's moved. I separate the policy then call her husband."
"He was puzzled why I was calling and I explained (which is never comfortable) and he started sobbing. He just kept saying 'what do you mean she wants a divorce?! I thought we loved each other?' Etc."
"I felt awful for this guy. According to him this came out of left field and he had no idea she was going to divorce him. So I was used to tell this guy that she wanted a divorce."-CaraAsha
The Worst Kind Of Human
"First high school boyfriend, everything had been fine, we'd talked on the phone over the weekend. Go to school and strangely don't see him all day until I get to my fifth hour."
"He's standing outside the classroom door with a girl on each arm, calls me a b*tch as I get there, and leaves with the girls. I go in the room in shock to have a classmate say to me they heard P and I broke up. Well yeah I guess so."-Intelligent_One445
And while it's cold, it certainly says a whole lot more about the person being cold than the recipient.
"Not me but a friend. He came home from work to find his apartment empty except for his clothes in a pile in the bedroom and a pile of unpaid bills on the kitchen counter."
"Turns out she had been planning it for a few months stopped paying all the bills (including rent) saved the money and then just took off. Not even a f**k you letter. Just gone!"-TheTrollys
Always A Sidepiece, Never A Bride
"Heard from her sister and a friend of hers that she had slept with her 'ex' the previous weekend. We were all due to meet up for drinks on this particular night as I was struck down with an illness the weekend before."
"My heart sank when I heard the news and honestly it was quite embarrassing."
"She texted me a few days later explaining that she wasn't back with him and in had a lot going on etc. Eventually it came out that she never really broke up with him at all and I was just her bit on the side at the weekends."-Isfeidirlinn90
We Love Being Gaslit And Blindsided
"I had been going through a really tough time, my mom was fighting breast cancer, my boss was incredibly toxic and I started to feel like I was just going through motions but wasn't really there."
"My therapist finally convinced me to take a stress leave and get back on track, so I discussed it with my boyfriend and he said he would support me in my decision."
"Well, on the last Friday of work right as my stress leave was starting I got home and was actually excited to get back on track I got in the door and my bf said 'don't smoke weed!'" and I thought, 'nice a surprise date night!'... I was super wrong."
"He sat me down and broke up with me. We dated for 3.5 years and lived together and his main concern was who was going to keep the cat, he came armed with the fact that it was his house so it was better if he kept her."
"I bought the cat and loved her so much, but in that moment I felt defeated as hell so I agreed. I had been telling my mom just a week before that our relationship was going really well and I felt like he was going to propose so I was completely blindsided."
"I essentially lost my job, my house, my relationship and my cat in the same day. And went into an even more insane depression and he kept throwing more gas on that fire months after."
"I am very good now, my mom kicked cancer, I have a new job, a new boyfriend, and a new cat (though I still think about my old cat a lot, I know she is well.. but I still miss her). That sh*t was bleak AF though."-blondeboomie
It seems like sometimes people really just lack the courage to express how they're really feeling as it moves from moment to moment.
They end up blindsiding the people that thought they cared for them the most, leaving them by the wayside. Is it better to just express your feelings from the get-go? Or would you rather just let it all out at once?
If you don't have any experience with construction, it can be pretty interesting to watch those reality HGTV shows (I know I'm addicted at this point). Some of the best episodes can be the one's where they open up the walls to find the builder didn't do anything right, causing a huge blow to the budget. The drama!
As someone who doesn't know much about building, and is dreaming of homeownership, Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked a question I wish I had thought of first.
Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked:
"Home inspectors of reddit, what are some horrible things that almost went unnoticed?"
Here's some horror stories that shed a little light on the home owner unknowns.
Behind the closet wall.
"Going through a home with [the] home inspector, didn't find any issues, bring my dad in to look through the house too and he was [incessantly] checking everything. Looks at the Zillow listing with the floor plan, measures the basement, finds out the actual measurements smaller than the floor plan which led us to go looking in a closet and realize they finished a wall and closet around the old oil tank, never decommissioned it, never planned to tell anyone about it, and we would have had to rip walls out to get to it to remove it. It was a non starter and we walked away. So happy to have my dad's sharp eye while home shopping."
If you need a good prank idea when you're renovating, here's one:
"I saw a post once, this guy said his dad's house had a diagonal outer wall and he was installing a combination wall and bookshelf to square the room. Since there was a small dead space on one side, the dad (who was a doctor), got a life-size plastic human skeleton from work and tossed it in there."
"So if someone tore the wall out to remodel in 30 years or whatever, they'd see it and freak out."
Man cave mayhem.
"Not a home inspector, but I did ask our home inspector what crazy stuff he had seen over the years. He had two stories."
"He inspected a modest three bedroom house and found that were very strange structural cracks in the walls. The area where the house was built is primarily clay soil which leads to a lot of foundation issues, but these were really abnormal cracks. He headed to the attic to wrap up his inspection; it was located over the garage so there was absolutely no structural support there. He poked his head up into the attic and couldn't believe his eyes: the owner had a fully furnished man cave in the attic over the garage. It had a couch, big screen tv, weight set, and a huge gun safe. He said he had no idea how in the world all of that stuff didn't come crashing down through the garage ceiling or how the guy had managed to get the giant gun safe up there without some sort of elaborate winch system. He said it was only a matter of time before the house collapsed."
"The only other weird thing he encountered was a cistern (an old well) in a crawlspace underneath a house. He said he was crawling along on his stomach when he almost fell into it; it was left uncovered."
A rats nest of wires.
"I'm sure there will be some stories about wiring above drop ceilings. When I was looking at houses, I saw (not the home inspector) one once where like 10 different wires came into one rats nest of a cluster. To make it even better, there was a regular lamp cord that ran from it to power the hanging kitchen light above the table. And if you want whip cream and sprinkles on that.... the power came into that mess through knob and tube."
"I am an apprentice electrician and this comment just made my soul cry."
"I found an uncapped steel conduit with live wires behind my sink while remodeling. There wasn't even a cap on the wires."
"While ripping out our old kitchen we cut the old crappy countertop with a sawzaw, to our surprise saw a spark and blew a breaker. some mother f**kers who previously renovated this kitchen ran the wiring for a new outlet on the wall around the studs in a crevice in the back of the countertop...."
"My family flipped a house a few years ago. There were four ceilings, each a couple inches lower than the one before, and all but one had old wiring in it. It was like cutting into a weird lasagna, trying to find the studs in that house."
"Grandma was shrinking with old age, but her kids didn't want her to realize."
"Not me, but one I spoke to. Place almost passed, until out the corner of his eye... bam... jack stand holding up a beam under the house."
"Same with a house daughter was interested in. The place was a flip and totally redone. Beautiful. And down in the basement was a brick holding up a big beam."
This inspector had a full list.
1. "Furnace exhaust flue inlet at the attic furnace disconnected and a dead bird below it. Would have dumped all the furnace exhaust straight into the attic area. Obvious safety implication."
2. "Long time vacant house in a very secluded area. Reeked of cat p*ss and burnt plastic. No cats or cat feces in sight and no entry point for cats. Found small balloon in the corner of the floor where the fridge would be. Picked it up (with gloves) and white powder came spilling out. We came to the conclusion there was possibly the presence of methamphetamine in the home at some point and in some fashion."
3. "5 year old house, nice neighborhood, great shape, vacant. Everything looked good visually. In the attic, just after it had started raining heavily, a slight but constant drip was noticed from the roof sheathing in one area. Got lucky on that one. Sunny day, there would have been no evidence of any issue whatsoever."
4. "Homeowner DIY replaced the microwave and thought it would be 'clever' to run the exhaust vent into the wall cavity between the kitchen and adjacent laundry room. Just dumped the moisture into the wall. Mold city after a while if you do a lot of cooking while using the exhaust fan."
5. "60s house, well renovated. Range was a gas/electric dual fuel setup. Noticed broiler took forever to even start to warm up and never got hot enough that I couldn't touch it real quick (they usually glow red after like 30 seconds). Found out the range was plugged into a 110v outlet (enough to power the control panel and light) and not the proper 220v outlet (not even present). Oven was essentially useless. That one also had an incomplete drain line from a bathroom sink dumping everything directly into the crawlspace."
6. "New build. Got into the attic and just a quick 360° scan, something was off. Looking closer found a truss web beam that was completely gone, just ripped out (gusset plates bent to hell). Probably knocked out by the framing crews crane or something and they thought no one would notice. Time is money right? Lol"
They saved the day with this good catch!
"I used to work in a hospital, in IT. We were in a back corner of the oldest building. I used an out of the way stairwell, that had a 4 inch cast iron sprinkler main running through it."
"One day when I was leaving, I noticed a little tiny bit of water on the outside of the pipe. I went back to my desk, called maintenance, and asked them to send someone down so I could show them what I noticed. Walked the guy down to the stairwell and showed him, went on home."
"The next day I get to work and there's a letter on my desk. I open it, and it's from the director of maintenance. Seems that they shut down and depressurized the sprinkler line, and when they went to disconnect the section with the leak, the pipe just crumbled. They figured that my call prevented a major flood in materials management (which backed up to the stairwell on the floor below us) as well as a FD call-out, as the alarm would have gone when the pipe ruptured and water started flowing. The director sent me a very nice thank-you, and referred the situation to the cost-saving committee to see if they could get me a bonus based on preventing an accident."
The internet might just save homeowners on a whole lot of money by taking a closer look during the inspection. Thank goodness for this Ask Reddit post shedding light on the horror stories of homeownership and renovation mishaps.
Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
War Face GIF Giphy
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.