Being in a relationship means opening your heart up to someone.
Now, depending on where you're at in your relationship decides how open the heart is. Couples in the beginning probably keep things close to the chest, playing it safe, not revealing too much just in case the new love goes sour. Why tell someone your darkest secrets if the fling only lasts 10 days? However, couples who have been together for a long time know quite a bit more. And sometimes what they know would be a dealbreaker for someone else.
Reddit user, u/Caspar-the-ghost, wanted to know:
An Enthusiasm For EverythingGiphy
He talks a lot. He rambles about everything possible, from the origin of salty licorice to why there are so many irregular verbs in French to his old work experiences to the most minute historical or mythological facts. Sometimes he'll laugh when I'm working, I'll go "hm?", and he'll talk for five minutes straight about some obscure fact he just learned.
I love his enthusiasm. :) I genuinely like his little rants as signs of his boundless intellectual curiosity-- I always learn something, and we'll never run out of things to talk about. And besides, I talk a lot too, so we're well matched!
Understanding The Past To Have A Better Future
Talking about his exes. From what I know, people aren't really a fan of their SO talking about their exes. I'm perfectly fine with mine talking about his often because I just want to understand more about his prior experiences just so I can keep in mind what not to do, as well as let him get his feelings out because of how much its impacted him.
Just Tell me Where You Want To Go To Dinner!
He won't say no! If he doesn't want to do something or go somewhere he will beat around the bush. It is fun to act like I can't tell the he's implying no, until he finally says it.
But You're Still Together, Right?
She will leave a dirty plate on the counter top above the empty dishwasher rather than rinsing and filing it INSIDE the dishwasher.
Drives me nuts
We Can't Always Order Out
She doesn't cook.
Doesn't bother me since I love cooking and worked in catering for many years... But might be a deal breaker for some
Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery? Right?
Honestly I think my boyfriend is pretty accepting about my god awful snoring. I've never thought to record it but the impressions he does are... not flattering.
No Time Apart. And It's Okay.
Both of us prefer to spend all of our time together. It's not a codependent/dysfunctional thing because neither of us gets upset or stressed out if we can't, but we're happiest in each other's company and, given a choice, we'd always choose to be together. The whole pandemic situation hasn't been a problem for us because it's actually allowed us to be together more as is our preference. However, I understand this doesn't work for most people, but it's always worked for us.
Marry Him. Marry Him Now.
He wore a fedora in one of his senior high school photos
more like a deal maker wtf
Time To ThinkGiphy
With my man, he needs time to think about serious subjects or even minor decisions sometimes, so you can't expect him to give an answer right away. It can be really frustrating, especially when you kind of need an answer right away.
I've come to think of it as him being very invested in even the little things in our lives because he cares so much. Because this is how his brain works, I try to give him lead time or if a decision needs to be made right away, I offer to be the one to make the call, which takes it off his plate all together.
He accommodates my anxieties and quirks, so it's definitely not a one way street.
When You Really Can't Blame The Person
My wife grew up in a hoarder home. Not the level you see on TV but close. So she is basically use to living in a house that isn't organized and she never really learned to clean up after herself.
Every now and than I get irritated but in our 5 years of marriage she has changed me to be a better person so significantly that i can live with it. For every flaw she has ten positives and I love her
You're Essentially His "Find Me" App
Almost every morning I have to find his keys for him despite there being a BASKET in the KITCHEN for KEYS and stuff. They're never in the basket.
Forgets to take his meds too, which increases his spacey-ness (antiepileptics). I got him one of those plastic pill organizers...but half the time he takes the pills from the bottles instead and then forgets he took them so we never know if he actually took them or not unless I count the remaining pills.
Leaves dishes/food wherever once he's done with them (yes, cooking/dishes is my job but STILL), which means we have to replace perishable items like mayo or milk constantly because he'll leave them out all day/night and if I'm not home to put them away, they've gone bad.
I swear he uses up all of his focus at work, because he's a very skilled nurse...but the second he gets home it's as if his mind has run out of battery!
Still love this guy though
Much Different Story 20 Years Ago
Not necessarily a flaw, but when my ex and I first started out, he said "before we continue there's something I have to tell you." I was bracing myself for the worst, something like he had AIDS or I don't know what. He said "sometimes I like to wear skirts."
"...is that all? That's fine!" And we had years of fun times with him wearing skirts a lot. (I am female.) Went to an exhibition in the Met (NYC) about men in skirts through history, wore them out in public sometimes, wore them as pajamas and around the house, we did kinky things with them, and eventually he had a closet full of his own skirts (some he got online but others I helped him with at places like Kohl's). It did not bother me in the slightest and frankly I found it amusing, almost endearing.
Note that this was nearly 20 years ago so society wasn't as warmed up to the idea of gender fluidity, though it was in the making. In related news, after we broke up, he ghosted me and last I heard he is becoming a she. Which pisses me off because I could've totally been there to support and help with the transition. Wherever you are, I truly hope you are happier!
The Definition Of True Love
They don't fully close the tops on jars
How do you tolerate this madness[?]
Keeping Everything Close To The Chest
His intense secrecy. He doesn't even keep things secret on purpose, he just doesn't mention things as a default and the result is very, very weird. His whole family is like this, freakishly unwilling to talk about themselves. He is so secretive that I found out after seven years together that he has two brothers, not one. Nothing scandalous or anything at all, they talk on the phone once every few months (!!!) and when I emailed his brother he wrote back right away to say hi, seems like a nice normal dude.
But I guess since he lives in New Zealand he doesn't come to family gatherings so I haven't met him. This is par for the course.
I found out about a grad degree when we ran into one of his profs at a burrito place.When I asked why he never mentioned his brother, he just said that he would have if I asked. I don't know that "how many brothers do you have" is a question you should have to ask?!? But apparently...
We're Victims To Our Parents' Legacies
When she gets stressed she screams. It is horrible. I learned how her mother treated her and understand it a lot more. She already been to therapy once she realized how much it troubles me. That says a lot about her character. She saw a problem and is working on it. Now when she gets stressed and raises her voice, she knows I will just leave the house. I mean no disrespect, just leaving until she calms down.
The Most Intimate And The Most VulnerableGiphy
She's not very good at sex. I love her and marriage isn't all about sex. She had an eating disorder (bulimia) most of her life and just kinda freezes up when we are intimate. We have three GORGEOUS and healthy kids after losing four and wondering if we would ever have any. We have a good life. Just not good sex.
You and my husband are in the same boat. We have been married 6.5 years, have two healthy kids, have lost two, and are currently incubating one.
I am NOT good at sex. We have fought, cried, and struggled to develop a healthy sex life. Its not easy, we have a long way to go, but we haven't given up.
Ultimately, we both recognize the need for a healthy sex life and we work really hard to help each other out. I hope someday it becomes more natural for me, but until then, my husband is a trooper!
Hoping the same for the two of you!
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
- People Explain Which Common Dating Deal-Breakers They Are Actually Into - George Takei ›
- People Confess The One Secret They're Keeping From Their Significant Other - George Takei ›
- People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People - George Takei ›
- People Break Down Which Things Should Be Kept Private From A Significant Other - George Takei ›
There are just some actions we never grow out of.
When it's time to grow up... grow up.
Let's discuss the signs and scenarios we should know about.
Redditor Grouchy-Trip9582 wanted the grown ups reading to listen up and act their age.They asked:
"What is a childish behaviour adults do that makes you cringe?"
Why do some children behave better than adults? It makes no sense. Let's hear some explaining.
Simple AnswerOh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy
"Getting mad when someone tells them 'No.'"
"At the bakery where I work, we offer free cookies to kids under 12 as long as they have a parent with them. As you can imagine, we run out quickly. I've seen a couple of adults scream and cry after telling them we've run out of cookies, like I've just run over their puppy or something. The kids usually just shrug it off and walk away."
"Yelling at their children on the subway basically having a tantrum as the actual child silently stares or spaces out."
"It’s the most upsetting reaction for me to see when a kid is being yelled at, honestly. Because most of the time you just know it’s such a common happening and they’re so used to it this is the way they cope."
"I know I’m not a perfect parent and I lose my temper here and there but I truly hope I don’t get to this point or where others see me as this type of parent. I think a lot of those parents, though, are also victims who haven’t figured out how to end the cycle of abuse/poor treatment. It is how they were raised so it is all they know and that is also sad. Trauma creating more trauma. :( "
"Getting mad at or demeaning cashiers/fast food workers."
"I wouldn't even call this 'childish' behavior, because kids generally don't even do this. It is only done by overly-entitled adults with superiority complexes and impulse control."
Oh Ma...uh GIFGiphy
"My mother sticks her fingers in her ears and goes 'lalalala' whenever someone is proving her wrong. All the time. Consistently."
Oh, I've lost track of how many times I've met these people. How are these adults?
SorrySorry Lebron James GIF by UninterruptedGiphy
"The inability to apologize/admit when they are wrong... I just think it's so strange. Like... No one expects you to be perfect."
"Blame others instead of taking responsibility for their actions."
"When people refuse to take accountability it is literally the worst. Even something as simple as, 'My God, you’re right. I’m so sorry I’m not sure what I was thinking.' Can really do so much to repair and mend relationships with others."
"This is not childish, this is manipulation."
"I was at Sports Authority for the final clearance sale. They had three weeks left until their doors closed for good so there were only about four employees left on staff and they had all completely run out of f**ks to give. Well this one lady pushes her way to the front of the line saying 'I had to wait so long to get help out there I shouldn’t have to wait in line.'"
"The woman at the register ignores her and continues to check out a different customer. Impatient lady tosses her things on the counter so the employee pushes them to the side and says 'I can help the next person in line' naturally impatient lady loses it completely, yelling at the employee; you know the drill 'speak to your manager, customer is always right, call corporate, I’m a busy woman with places to go' entitled person's greatest hits."
"The manager walks over to defuse the situation impatient lady starts yelling and the guy behind her in line (whom she cut in front of) steps in to explain she tried to jump the line and the cashier was just helping those who had already been waiting."
"The cashier looks at her manager with a ‘what are you gonna do? Fire me?’ Face. The manager looks at impatient lady and says 'you can either wait in line like everybody else or you can leave' she looked for a second like she was going to explode but just stormed out. It was amazing watching retail workers be able to say the things you know they wanted to say to every difficult customer."
"Having a screaming match like kids on playground."
"Some of my neighbours are like this, having huge screaming matches in the parking lot of their building or out on their balcony. It's like they want the world to witness their argument, which makes it feel extremely performative. Like they're not arguing because of a real disagreement, they're arguing for the benefit of their audience. I can't even raise my voice in public, so this mentality is very alien to me."
Go AwayPhaedra Parks Bye Felicia GIFGiphy
"My mom’s piece of crap boyfriend flipping over a table and storming out of a restaurant because they wouldn’t give him a discount for some bulls**t reason he made up. He was always asking to talk to the manager to get discounts and free stuff. Usually he’d get it too because those people aren’t paid enough to deal with angry morons like him. He died a few years ago fortunately."
Did y'all read carefully? Grow up.
On occasion, all of us look in a mirror and wish there was something about our physical characteristics that was different.
Being a few inches taller, having a different hair color, maybe a smaller nose.
But then, as we continue to stare at our reflection, we might suddenly realize there are some things about ourselves which we don't mind at all.
In fact, we might even be proud of our eye color, the shape of our ears, or having an enviable jawline.
For most people, finding their best attribute might not be so difficult to determine, owing to slim pickings.
But for those blessed with good genetics, choosing their best physical trait might be a bit more difficult.
Redditor askredditiscool was curious to hear what people with enviable genetics considered their best physical quality, leading them to ask:
"People who have 'won the genetic lottery' what qualities do you have?"
Come and get me!
"I'm not allergic to mosquito spit."
"So they bite me and I feel the pin prick, but I never get that red swollen itchy-as-hell welt."
"I also apparently taste bad enough to them that they will go for anyone else in the area before me."
"Ticks, on the other hand, will hunt me for f*cking miles."- open_door_policy
Million Dollar Smile
"No wisdom teeth!"
"The trade off is the ticking time bomb that is my cancer genetic..."- Opin88
"My teeth are nearly perfect."
"Whenever I switch dentists, they are a bit stunned at the first appointment."
"My husband hates me for it."- BilobaBabyHappy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy
"I can actually lick my elbow."- Soulerous
"At age 72 I've fallen several times in the last few year, low blood pressure, and have never broken a bone in my life."- Duegatti
"O mio babbino Caro..."
"Perfect pitch."- HeliomobAnna Kendrick Movie GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy
Pure blood indeed!
"Not a single blood related person who had or has cancer for at least 3 generations."
"Meaning parents, grand parents and grand grand parents and all their children and children's children."
"Or any other inheritable disease."- yohoho_99
Sleeping Beauty ain't got nothing on me...
"I inherited the Sleep Button gene from my grandfather."
"When I want to fall asleep, I just... do ...in a matter of minutes."
"I haven't struggled with falling asleep/waking up more than ten times in my entire lifetime."
"I can't nap for sh*t."- VertebrateCrossing
I got time...
"Not sure yet but like I may live a really long time."
"People on my mom's side just have exceptional lifespans."
"My great grandma got in a bad fire at age 45 and had third-degree burns everywhere."
"No one thought she'd recover or live very long."
"Out of pure spite for the husband she has been separated with for 23 years, she lived till she was 96."
"This was in India and she was upper lower-class."
"Meaning the healthcare was sh*tty."
"My great great grandpa lived till he was around 116."
"He maintained his capability and independence till the very end."
"In his last few years, he started to lose his eyesight and hearing but he still cooked his own food, bathed himself, did the house chores, etc."
"My grandpa is at 78 right now and he'll hopefully remain in good health."- a-lovelyy-ladyyOld Lady Dancing GIF by MattielGiphy
Some people are just born lucky.
True, it's what's inside that counts.
Which doesn't mean we don't still wish we had perfect teeth every now and then...
Self-awareness is a strong and admirable quality which far too few people have.
Particularly as those who are truly self-aware are often willing and able to admit when they're wrong, or if there is something about their personality which could, and probably should, be changed.
Truth be told, it doesn't take a great deal of self-awareness to realize and acknowledge your less than admirable traits.
More than likely, these are the things about ourselves that we've likely hoped we might change for a very long time.
Redditor sound-hub was eager to hear people share their least admirable qualities, leading them to ask:
"What's one bad trait about you?"
Give people some closure!
"I never finish the things that I"- BadAndNationwide
I just can't stop
"Having an addictive personality."
"If there's an activity or substance that triggers dopamine release, I'll probably take it to an extreme."- DeathSpiral321
I don't want to get out of bed..
"My laziness will be the death of me."- A_R_K_SKevin James Eating GIF by TV LandGiphy
I can't, I'll never be able to...
"Pessimism and lack of confidence."- Iamnothuman77
"I lack confidence."
"I constantly try to get reassurance or double checks on my decisions before making them."
"It has helped me to avoid making certain mistakes but I feel like if I was more confident in myself, I'd be better off."- HumbleOwl
I don't need the help, so stop asking!
"I’m too prideful."
"I don’t ask for help when I need it and make myself miserable powering through a sh*tty task or situation."
"It’s a problem."
"I’m trying to break myself of it."- like5or6
"I got no patience.. non.. nada."- shine_hunterWaiting Patiently GIF by General HospitalGiphy
Do you think they'll like it? Oh I hope they do...
"I’m too much of a people pleaser."- Positive-Help6449
I'd rather not say...
"I don’t talk."- TheCowOfArdonia
"I use sarcasm too often."- The_StankyBootMaggie Smith Sarcasm GIF by Downton AbbeyGiphy
It's brave to admit the things about yourself that could be improved.
But it's important that this is how you feel, and not how others perceive you.
Only then should you even begin to think about changing any part of yourself.
It's hard not to look back in life on some things we wish we handled them differently.
Some of these are relatively minor, like wishing we chose a different hotel on a vacation, or being a bit more friendly to certain people in middle school.
But sometimes, we look back on decisions we made, and wonder if our lives might be different had we not made certain decisions, or behaved in a certain way.
Redditor lillyrosebennet was curious to hear what the Reddit community regrets most in their lives, leading them to ask:
"What do you regret?"
Who care's what other people think?
"Putting my self worth into the hands of others."- scaryboilednoodles
Oh, what could have been...
"Not realizing this beautiful girl in high school was flirting with me."- South_Ad8256
Take your life and education seriously
"Not going to class nearly enough my freshman year of college."
"I dug myself a HUGE hole because I thought it was a better idea to drink on weeknights, play Starcraft, and hang out bullsh*tting in people's dorm rooms until 4am than actually attend lectures and do work."- DaisyCutter312
"Not taking my life seriously at a younger age."- ogue-Jedi
Learning more about others
"Not talking more to my grandma about her life."
"She's passed not long ago and even though I was there at least once a month in the last year, which is not so little regarding the distance, I just wish I had asked more about how she was like, when she was my age."
"She wrote a memoir and she has lots of diaries, but I think she started writing them later on."
"I was just so scared of making her relive her trauma."
"But I really miss her and I wish we could've had more time to talk."- MyCatIsUpsiideDown
There's a reason it didn't work
Going back to exes that treat me poorly just because it’s comfortable."
"It’s not my job to fix people or save morons from their own stupidity."
"It’s like I always think I can fix it when it’s clear they’re just toxic and incapable of healthy relationships."
"Then I feel even worse when it falls apart the second time."- SupportMoist
It's not so difficult to listen
"Not communicating enough in my relationship."
"My overthinking ruined it some more."- Ok_Moose235
Caring for my body
"Smoking cigarettes."- rowfeh
Missing the chance to make things right.
"The last words I said to my dad when I was 9, was 'I hate you'."
"It was over a stupid little misunderstanding."
"He passed away the next morning, and I will never forgive myself for that."- DismalSplit5792
Finding more lucrative employment.
"Getting a degree in a 'helping field' (therapy/social work) rather than getting one that pays well and helping others from that comfortable position."
"It's very difficult providing assistance and guidance for others when you can't afford to go to the doctor, the dentist, or even your own therapist, let alone ever afford a vacation or anything meaningful."- HiCommaJoel
It's hard not to have those "coulda, woulda, shoulda" moments in life.
But even if some things can't be changed or undone, it's important to remember that improving one's life can't be done looking back.
Instead, we have to learn from our past mistakes, to make wiser decisions moving forward.