Advertising is an odd beast. On one hand, we need to know what variety of products are available from which retailer. Without it, it'd be a much harder forest to navigate. On the other hand, deep down we know they're manipulating us to see things the way they want, telling us things they think we want to hear. Occasionally it works splendidly, but sometimes it tries too hard and forces people to stop purchasing your product altogether.
Reddit user, u/Osilux, wanted to know what you just had to cut from your life because of commercials when they asked:
What product did you stop buying due to obnoxious ads?
It's Booty Paper...That's It.
Charmin. I can't stand those obnoxious dancing bears that sing relentlessly about "hineys."
Bears obsessed with wiping their butts. Like wtf.
Never Quite What You Expected
Giphy
Wish.
I used to buy a few things from them but their youtube ads give me ear cancer and their products mostly suck so I gave up on them.
My girlfriends mom bought the "lego" taj Mahal from wish for like $10. It's the really tiny piece lego knock off and according to my gf the instruction manual is like a pamphlet and entirely useless. For reference, the real lego Taj mahal is $370 and the instructions are about half an inch (1.5 cm) thick
What's More American Than A Cheeseburger?
Never been to a Carl's Jr because all of the ads I've seen are just women deep-throating sandwiches.
Want To Fix Your Typos? *skip ad*
As a principle, I don't use Grammarly. Ever time I use a computer on campus of my university, their stupid ads constantly appear, and not just in YouTube ads - which really get on my nerves.
I tried using their product when I was in secondary school, but I found that it was kind of useless unless you purchased the premium version. I'd rather rely on my own proofreading of my work and using Word spell check to find grammar and spelling mistakes.
Be Honest: Who Cleans In Heels?
Any and all cleaning products where you see a woman in high heels acting as though cleaning is the greatest thing on earth. Men clean, too. Stop being bad.
I'd Rather Risk My Life Than Buy What You're Selling
Progressive's Flo commercials.
Actually all of their commercials.
They're all so godd-mn obnoxious. Genuinely switched because of them.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME??
"The more you know the more you Kohls"
That makes no sense! I didn't shop there anyway, but that slogan always pisses me off because its so damn stupid.
Well, That's Just Messy...
Any ad for a shake/drink/liquid product that shows the product being poured into and overflowing a container and dripping down the sides, making a fucking mess, is a 100% guarantee that I will not even finish watching the ad much less buy the product.
Decide What You Are, Then Come Back To Me
I have hated every Subway ad I have ever seen.
Seriously, their advertising department has no idea what to do with the product. Are we healthy? hip? fun? Who the fuck knows. It's just a goddamn sandwich.
Everyone Deserves A Bowl Of Sugary Goodness
Trix cereal.
I think every kid in existence just wanted to see that rabbit get a bowl of cereal.
Smell Just Like A Bowl Of Potpourri
Any. Perfume. Advert.
Stop sexualising how we smell. Please. I want to be able to smell good without someone thinking I want a shag too.
What If She Just Ate One?
That current commercial about Tide pods or detergent or whatever it is, with the people singing about their stains. That one lady singing to the tune to "Fur Elise" makes me want to cut my ears off.
877-CASH-NOW
J.G. Wentworth. I haven't ever used them, but if the occasion ever arises, rest assured those stupid opera jingles will remind me who NOT to use.
Wait until you're in a structured settlement and need cash now
Kind Of Working In The Opposite Direction With This One...
Swear to god if I see like 10-15 more Truth anti-smoking ads, I'm gonna pick up smoking.
Way Off Base
Does a free app that I ditched due to ads count?
It was an app where you made little planets and tried to match the required orbits around a black hole/gravity source. Each level had different requirements. When you tapped to make a planet it would be a random colored dot.
This game entertained a previously screaming 1.5 year old during half of a 5 hour car ride. With him just making planets, laughing at them move around and occasionally informing the car of what color they were. The problem was that ever 3 levels or so there was an ad. Normally would not be a problem but these were some of the most graphically violent ads I'd ever seen on a phone app. Machete's being thrown at clowns and embedding in their heads, men firing automatic rifles and blowing each other's limbs off with blood flying across the screen.
It bamboozles me why such a tame game would run ads like that and I had to remove it.
APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD
As soon as Head On started those commercials my friends and I stopped using it.
*crunch* *crunch* *CRUNCH*
Kit Kat had a commercial where they used the sound of people chomping into their candy bar to the tune of their jingle. I'm extremely sensitive to the sound of people chewing so when this commercial would come on I'd have to dart for the remote before it sent me into a blind rage. Haven't eaten a kit kat since.
WE PROMISE. THESE ARE NOT ACTORS.
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Chevy "real people not actors" 🙄
OH MY GOD WE ARE AT A CAR STORE IN A CAR FACTORY AND OH MY GOD CARS APPEARED WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...
Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
Those Days...
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!
queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
"And Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith were born on the same day!"
- osme1
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV Time
Season 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
- VVillyD
A Croc
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Story
william shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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