Just because double standards proliferate our everyday lives does not make it okay.
People see examples where men and women are treated or judged accordingly. But a glaring disparity becomes evident when the gender roles swap.
When males fly, they are "Superman" whereas, when females fly they are a witch.
But doubles standards aren't limited to sexism.
People shared their examples of the phenomena when Redditor piano_043 asked:
"What double standards annoy the sh*t out of you?"
Rules
Sure, there are exceptions to certain rules, but where do you draw the line when the person of authority setting the rules frequently breaks them?
School Deadlines
"Professors who have strict deadlines but don't grade anything."
"I find it even more annoying in high school. The teacher will say 'I won't do X, because I have a life, and I don't want to use my free time on my weekend to do that'. Cool, fair enough. I get it, you work for the time you get paid for. But then ... 'You had all weekend to work on this!'. Like, wtf, is the weekend time for the school system or not? You can't choose one when you want it, and another when you don't."
Crime & Punishment
"people stealing millions get no or less jail time than someone who stole couple of dollars"
All Talk
"Preaching about saving the environment but doing the absolute bare minimum to change it."
Smoke Breaks
"If I took as many extra breaks at work as a smoker does, I'd get fired."
"I had a job where this guy would go out every hour, on the hour for 5 minutes in an 8 hour shift every day of the week to smoke."
"That's over 3 hours of extra break time per week I wasn't getting as a non smoker."
"That's over 173 hours of extra break time per year I wasn't getting as a non smoker."
"That's like an extra week of paid vacation per year in just smoking cigarettes."
Culture Wars
"Cancel culture double standards. Certain people have been canceled for saying something stupid like 10 years ago, and yet somehow Chris Brown is still a successful musician even though he did far worse than most people society has 'canceled.' It doesn't make any sense to me."
Awards
"The Oscars. It seems like sometimes, it's awarded to an actor because 'it's their time or they are overdue' or just based on popularity or a makeup award, while other times it's 'this is the performance of the year and no one else is worthy.' It should go to the best acting performance all the time, not just because people think it's this actor's best, only, or last chance at winning the award."
Appearance Guidelines
"School dress codes. The horror that a females bra strap is slightly visible!!!!!!!!!"
Sexism
When men can't catch a break when in the presence of kids.
Father Time
"Aww look, dad is babysitting while mom has a day off"
"No I'm NOT. I am the father and I am wanting to spend time with my children when I have time available. That's not babysitting. That's being a caring, loving, responsible father."
"Demeaning On All Sides"
"This one drives both me and my husband nuts. He's being a parent. Also, he gasp actually wants to spend time with the small human we chose to create. The flipside is also frustrating - he's a superhero or babysitter when he takes her to the park, but I'm a woman so I should just magically be able to handle all her needs and God forbid I take 10 seconds on my phone when I "should be" having quality time with my kid (never mind the fact that dad's right there and she's really focused on the leaves at the moment)."
"It's so insidious and demeaning on all sides."
Popularity
"Having to act differently around kids just because I'm a guy. I work at a camp and a dance class, and both my senior counselor and dance instructor gave me talks about how to act around kids."
"I'm 6'1" and I have a beard and long hair, and for some reason kids love me. And I really like playing with kids. But I can't do very much with them. The female staff can hug the kids and hold their hands when walking with them, no problem. But then the kids want to hug me and hold my hand, and I can't do it because I'm too big and scary and I'll look like a creep. So it kinda hurts when I can't play around with kids just because I'm a guy."
"Also, this all happened before [the virus], when hugging and holding hands was not an issue. Just to clarify."
Play Time
"If women make faces or try to play with random kids it cute, but when men want to play with random kids they are seen as predators."
Making Memories
"And the women who think dads are creeps watching their next victim when they're just taking a photo of THEIR child having fun at the playground for memory's sake."
Girly Things
"Girl enjoys girly things - People: Oh you're so basic and not progressive. Girl enjoys traditionally masculine things - People: Oh, she's just trying to fit in with the men and she hates other women. Must be one of those 'not like other girls' girls. It's so frustrating. I feel every one of my hobbies is subjected to this extra layer of scrutiny and judgement."
Racism
Victims of harassment aren't always innocent of the same offense.
Being Asian
"Racism seems to only apply to black people. Growing up if you said a racial slur to a black student in school, you were in serious trouble. However you say a racial slur to me (south Asian) the teacher might tell you to cut it out. In the Army, no one dared say a racial slur or anything racist to a black soldier. That would end your career. However, racist 'jokes' and slurs were said to me on a daily basis. No one seemed to intervene. If I threatened to complain to EO they would probably stop, but then I'm on everyones sh*t list for being too sensitive and not being able to take a joke. However no one would ever even attempt this type of thing with the black soldiers."
False Claim
"I'm part Asian myself and one day a girl i knew was saying some pretty harsh stuff about the Chinese, i called her out on being kinda racist and she dropped the bomb 'Asians can't suffer racism, they ain't black' i was in complete shock at how someone could possibly have negative IQ and still trying to be smug."
Deportation Jokes
"the same thing happened with me and I'm Mexican. people were allowed to call me beaner and tell me I needed to be deported but somehow I was the one that always got in trouble for being upset."
One example I can't stand is the perception that men aren't allowed to cry because it's a sign of weakness.
This sexist view is deeply ingrained in my culture where the men in my father's generation were told to keep their sentimental emotions bottled up inside and that they should leave it up to the women to get emotional because "it's what they do."
The dangerous mentality screwed with my head in my formative years. If I ever had a moment of weakness and shed a tear, I felt extremely ashamed – which further plummeted me into confusion and despair.
So yeah, double standards suck.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.