Not everybody gives advice to be helpful.
Sometimes people really just like to hear themselves talk. Sometimes they really just want to feel smarter, or more in control. They're not interested in helping you at all.
u/dreamer_boy_ asked:
Mansplained On My Own Song
Angry Over It GIF by Women's History MonthGiphyGig night, still a few bands to go before we go on stage. I'm at the bar checking people out and having beers, because stuff's boring. Guy comes up to me, sees my band shirt, doesn't recognize me (which is totally OK, I like it better that way), proceeds to nag my ears of about our music, trying real hard to go into technical musicalities, which again, is OK, you do you.
Up until the point where he slams one of my songs, saying he doesn't get why the hell it's in F# minor. I tell him he must be mistaken, because the song is very much in A minor. Douche says "Um, you obviously don't have the necessary musical capabilities to recognize the correct tonality when you hear it. Come back when you've actually taken some music lessons."
I wrote the thing. It's in A minor. I've been playing it for years. In A minor.
Clown College
I managed to try to explain variance is swing time to one of the worlds greatest Jazz drummers on Instagram. In my defense he asked a very basic question and I didn't know who he was. I was definitely not condescending but still feel like an idiot for trying to explain a basic concept to one of the greatest jazz drummers of our time.
He was VERY cool about it. I had a lot of people clowning me and I deserved it
Some People Can't Be Reasoned With
A lady at an office job I had for a short time saw that I was new and decided to try to teach me how to copy and paste on the computer since "we use it a lot". She got mad and accused me of "not listening to her" when I did it by using ctrl+c / ctrl+v instead of her method, which was Edit>Copy, put cursor in desired spot, then Edit>Paste. She wanted me to do it again, so I did ctrl+z to undo everything we had just done. Got mad and started screaming at me "UNDO!!! UNDO!!!" not realizing I had literally just done that, since the only correct way is Edit>Undo!!
She then brought in a younger person to teach me how to set up my email signature. I simply went to the icon that had a dropdown that said "Edit Signature" or something similar and brought up the window. The younger person said "No, that's the wrong one, let me show you where it is" and went through at least 3 different menus only to get to the exact same window. She insisted that was the right one and denied it was the exact same one.
The older lady brought the younger lady in to teach me because "she's the best here at computers". They both got mad at me for "not listening". Older lady went to complain to my supervisor about my unwillingness to learn how to use the computer. I was only in that job while I waited to hear back from developer jobs.
This Is The Worst Kind Of Person
awful GIFGiphyI was admiring a Steinway concert grand piano on display in a hotel lobby.
Not realizing that I had advanced degrees in music and that I was a professional pianist, a woman said (with her nose in the air), "Work hard and save up your money - maybe some day you'll learn how to play."
This Is What We Call Prejudice
There was a time in my life when I was working 100-115 hours a week. 2 full time jobs, roughnecking and welding.
My dog got really sick during this time. So I was in the vets office waiting on the vet, holding my dog.
Had a guy in a suit walk out with his dog, took one look at me and said, "son, if you'd lay off the drugs and ate a little more life wouldn't be so hard."
F*ck that guy.
And it wasn't like I was skeletal or anything. Skinny for my frame, sure. But not skeletal.
This Is Misogyny At Its Worst
I studied music and guitar making for years, which means that I know how to use a band saw, and many other wood tools. I can literally make a guitar out of a bunch of logs. Everytime I meet a guy who plays guitar he tries to explain me how it works and how it's made and even after I tell them that I'm a guitar maker, they still try to prove that they know better. (I'm a girl) Same when I say anything related to wood working, nobody will take it seriously. I was often told to "go back in the kitchen"...
So STFU
I chose to live with my parents even after I finished my education and had the means to move out on my own because my mother was always ill and needed the help. An acquaintance mentioned to me one time at a party in front of everyone that she earns 65,000 a year which is why she's able to live on her own and I should aim for a salary like that so I could "finally be self-sufficient" - I smiled at her.
I was making 6 figures.
I Sign Your Checks, Mofo
I'm a film producer. I look 20yo but I'm significantly older and more experienced than I look. I'm also a woman which can get you mixed results on the best of days.
On set, I just type away at my laptop and do menial work just to make sure all the holes are plugged up and no one is pooping the bed. I guess one camera assist saw this and thought I was a PA. His response was to flash me a handbook for the fancy camera we were using and tell me to "read up, so you'll actually learn something". I asked him what the hell he thought I was doing, asked his name, and made it clear that I paid his bills.
Go Back To Party City Where You Belong
Tea Smh GIF by moodmanGiphyNot exactly a normal answer but...
I'm a stripper. I've been working as a stripper for almost five years. The club I work at is very alternative so most of the time I wear converse, which actually makes me more approachable and popular.
New girl (I mean new to dancing not just the club) told me that if I really wanted to make money I should "grow up and wear some heels." I get this pretty often.
I'm consistently the top earner at our club. She lasted less than a month.
What A Jerk
After graduating college I took a part time job at a bar to help pay off student debt and buy some snazzy car parts. This was on top of my full time well paying tech job.
Someone made a mess in the men's room and I was tasked to clean it up. As I'm doing that one of the patrons looks at me and says "you know if you'd have gone to school you could be doing better than this". "Yeah I did go to school, and I have a great job in a related field, and I'm here paying off my debt in advance. But I'll remember that hot tip, thanks".
Counting Possibilities
seinfeld newman GIFGiphyA former boss when I was waitressing told me that I "don't have the right temperament to be an accountant".
I've been an accountant for 25 years now.
Hate Her!
I finished UNI and starred working as a nurse in an operating theatre. I was only 21 at the time and male so everyone assumed I was an orderly and not an RN. First day an older lady who was an orderly starts giving me advice on how to do really basic things and bossing me around. I didn't let her in on my secret. Just let her go on in her condescending way. Boy did she get her nose out of joint when they let the new orderly scrub in for an op. She really was a witch.
To the Mill.....
"Honey, do you know what a millwright is?" Asked some guy after I told him what I did for my job (as a millwright).
What is a millwright?
An industrial mechanic. Installations, repair, and maintenance of heavy equipment of all kind including and not limited to turbines, pumps, motors and machines.
See Honey...
I was 16 and working a retail part time job after high school hours, so it was like 5pm. A 30's something woman came in with their 10 ish year old child and said "see honey, this is why you stay in school and go to college, so you don't end up like her." Then she came up to me and said "I'd advise you to stay in school but clearly your parents didn't raise you well enough."
Hero Mom
Mom Shopping GIF by MassWICGiphyMy mom runs into this all the time. No specific examples exactly, but people will talk down to her or treat her badly because all they see is a jobless single mom on disability. What they don't know is she got her undergraduate summa cum laude, and then her MALS from Dartmouth College while she was pregnant with me. This was while being married to a toxic, abusive jerk and struggling with physical and mental health issues. She is my hero and I'm very proud of her.
For Family...
We had a loss in the family that resulted in a gathering of all the extended family. my aunt who dropped out of college after getting married asked me what i was doing these days. I told her i was still going to school (i'm 27). she said, "you're too old for school. why don't you just go get a job and start making money instead of wasting it?"
i'm currently in medical school after having gotten a master's. i think i'll be fine.
The Bean Place
I was the cadet (intern) on a container ship. The captain liked good coffee, and our order didn't show up before we left for a pretty remote part of the world. He handed me $2,000 from the safe and sent me to Starbucks.
I'm a dirty 18 year old kid, haven't shaved or gotten a haircut in two months, wearing work boots. I walk into Starbucks and ask if they'll take 100s. Manager thinks this is some kind of joke. I tell her I need a bunch of coffee. We go back and forth, she tells me to leave the store, and there is a short line forming behind us, she just can't take me seriously.
I put 2g's on the counter and said "please convert this into coffee beans."
She was shocked.
Summa Cum Laude Surprise
I worked at a gas station in undergrad. During my last summer working there (before my senior year), a dude told me if never make anything of myself as a high school dropout. I graduated Summa Cum Laude within the year, and started law school. I was just saving money so I could go back home to Scotland to see family, so like screw him and his close minded fool who never probably never left that town once because "forget foreigners."
Slinging Drinks
I bartend so I get a lot of crap. It used to annoy me because it was always unsolicited. I understand it though especially from people who have never been a bartender before so they don't understand how much money you can make.
One time though I actually had to laugh at that guy. He was a regular and came in for lunch with his employees at least twice a week. Friendly bunch and always tipped well. We started talking about the kind of work they did and what not. They had a small company that did residential electrical work. Said that I should come by and drop a resume off if I ever wanted to get a "real" job.
I entertained him and asked about pay, hours, benefits etc. he then told me I could start out at $11 an hour and with in a year or two be up to $14 an hour. Which isn't terrible. But it was the way he said it that pissed me off.
Normally I don't tell patrons what I make but this time I had to because he was coming off like he'd be doing me a huge favor. So I told him thanks but no thanks, even at $15 an hour I'd be taking a 50% pay cut. Sure there were benefits which he reminded me of but I'm sorry. $15 at 40hrs a week is $600 before taxes, I could make that in less than two shifts.
I Can Read
farm animals farmer GIF by Super SimpleGiphyNot really advice but one time I told a girl I really enjoyed the book Animal Farm and she just turned to me and said something like "but you don't study history so you don't understand all the complexities in it like I do so you couldn't possibly enjoy it".
Not that it matters, but history was mandatory at our school.
Basic Strikes
This isn't quite what the post says but I have a black belt in a martial art thing. I went to a class on a different day than I usually go, and wasn't wearing my belt. Some moron kept trying to teach me basic blocks during drill and being really condescending about it.
Love IQ
God every time I tell people I work from home as a romance author. You can see in their faces they mentally adjust my IQ to something significantly below zero. I then get to listen to their oh so original ideas for the novel they're either going to write when they retire, or have been "working on" for the past 5+ years. Men especially love to give me writing tips and advice and suggestions.
I've been writing for 20 years. I'm very niche (queer fantasy romance) but good at what I do and popular in my tiny circle. I seldom make less than 5k a month and have several awards to my name. But thanks for the advice, bro.
This happened a week ago.
I'm a 30 year old woman and I manage a grocery store. Our store got lucky and we were chosen to host a hiring event for assistant department managers because our office is a bit bigger than most of the stores in the area. An older guy was peering at the meat counter and I walked up to him and asked him if he needed help because I didn't see anybody behind the counter and he said, "I doubt it. I'm waiting for my interview for assistant manager and I have an insane amount of experience."
He then spots the meat department manager behind me (who happens to be another guy in his 40s) and dismisses me entirely.
I shrug it off and head to the back to get the interviews started.
Guess who my first interviewee was?
Who's the stupid one?
A co-worker treats everyone he works with as a first year apprentice and talks to people like they are stupid despite having the lowest level of education i.e. he just has his basic trade certificates while those around him have all gone on to higher education. He also has the least amount of skills and experience as in he is an average welder/fabricator whereas those around him can also do fitting work and/or machining.
I had just started with the company so I got the job of working with him because no one else would and he tried to explain to me how to use a bandsaw like I was a child, I told him to screw off and that I would do the job myself. So far he hasn't spoke to me since which is a bonus in itself.
I can Vroom
cat car GIFGiphyA store clerk told me I should save for a car because I went to the store while it was raining. I just said "yeah maybe".
I have a car, I just don't like to drive for less than 2 blocks. GustavoAlex7789
Let me hit you with a crutch....
I am a second degree black belt and have been doing it for years. Well, I injured myself one class and had to be on crutches. Its important to note I am not super thin or look super fit but I work so damn hard in my martial arts. This guy my family knows asked me what happened and I explained that I sprained my ankle and he told me "You are too fat to do martial arts. Lose some weight then you can do it again." He is by no means skinny. It was so rude.
"get out of there"
I work in a high SES area and live in a low SES area.
We hired a new employee who lives in the wealthiest suburb of this area. We were casually talking and she asked me where I live, I told her and her whole demeanor towards me changed and she started giving me money saving advice so I can "get out of there" and then started grilling me on where I plan on moving to when I have the money.
I love where I live. I'm looking for a job closer to home. I have no intention of moving any time soon.
Poor Fool
Probably my boss telling me how to do a part of my job as I'm doing my job, then setting out a schedule for the rest of the day that I had already done. All so he can have this feeling of control or authority. I feel bad for the guy.
I have a destination....
The mom of one of my son's (very wealthy) friends offered to drive my son home after a playdate at the friend's house, instead of assuming that I could pick up my son, because she "wasn't sure if [I] had a car" since she always saw me walking around town and biking longer distances. Parking is scarce in my town and I like being active, so I rarely bother driving if my destination is less than a few miles. I thought it was kind of her to offer to drive my son home and funny that she thought I didn't have a car. I have a car.
Step Aside Sir
flex flexing GIF by Christina AguileraGiphyWhen I was working as a gardener, by boss was picking up a bag of mulch from home depot, when someone said, "you need help carrying that to your car, little lady."
The "little lady" got to her. She runs her own gardening company, and will regular haul 50 bags of mulch in an afternoon.
Living Arrangements
My dad used to tell a story about the time a young women started gossiping about a co worker with him.
"Did you know he lived in a trailer park?! I had no idea.... he seems like such a nice guy... and drives such a nice car" etc. And a bunch of other judgmental things regarding stereotypes of tailor parks and the people who live in them.
My dad heard her out, then responded with "my mom lives in a trailer park."
Apparently the women went beet red and started trying to backtrack all the negative things she had just said.
*as a side note, the guy had plenty of money, he just wasn't a 'house' guy.... he spent his money on cars. Where as my grandmother was a widow who lived off social security only and couldn't afford anything outside of the park she lived in.... still kept the place immaculate. So NEITHER examples fit the stereotypes this women was referencing.
Reddit Diet
That I need to get some nutritional education. On reddit with this obvious username indicating my profession.
On Reddit there is always that one person that will argue with you (often resorting to the good old ad hominem attack) if you don't confirm their world view, even if you are an expert in the topic and have provided a clear, nuanced, and sourced argument. Then you get all the people that treat the upvote and downvote buttons as agree/disagree buttons rather than good content/bad content buttons thus turning the comments into an echo chamber.
Don't Project
Had a sales rep come into the doctor's office where I work front desk and tell me I needed to travel the world and try other things before settling down in a desk job.... I'm in my mid 30s and lived a lot of life before I started this job. I wasn't offended but did think it was very presumptuous of him to say that, but maybe it was wishful thinking for himself projected on to me, who knows.
I was like 19 and he was 12.....
I was babysitting my younger brother when I was like 19 and he was 12. He was pretty short for his age at the time. I took him to the movies and then to get ice cream. Some older lady was watching us the whole time at the ice cream place. She came up to me and said something like it was nice to see a young mother taking her son out for ice cream, but it was a shame I was so young. I was like "ummm, we're brother and sister, lady, chill."
I'm Already Famous
nick miller typewriter GIF by Thierry Van BiesenGiphyA fresh out of high school young lady who had just sold her first article to some online site for $20 decided to give me personal tips on FB about how I could make money writing, too, although she really doubted I would make money like she did because not everyone had her talent. I had mentioned that I was interested in freelance writing. I also mentioned that I had been a successful, full-time one for about 18 years, but she apparently didn't read that part.
I Know Facts
I've had so many people trying to claim that they're a doctor to win the argument when I point out something that is factually incorrect. I'm still only a med student but I know more than enough to tell you got your medical knowledge from a misinterpreted Google search. I try to add sources to any comments I care enough about now, but a lot of people will find ways to claim the source is invalid.
Doesn't help that half of the academic world is hidden behind pay-walls - no wonder so many people believe wacky pseudoscience when accessing the original source is impossible without a university login and a thesaurus.
"Greatest Generation"
At age 19 (2005) I was replacing the fuel sending unit in my mothers car on a Saturday afternoon. Pretty standard job; disconnect the lines, drop the tank straps, tank basically falls out in your hands. Easy Peasy. It's an intimidating task for the first two or three times but then you figure out the secret to all mechanicdom; there's not a single part on an automobile you can't remove and reinstall successfully if you're reasonably detail-oriented and cautious.
One of my uncle's friends, classical "greatest generation" asshole, showed up to visit and quietly (by deaf senior standards) asked my uncle "He's always struck me as kind of useless, all I've known him to do is computer stuff. Does he know what he's doing?"
Meanwhile, three weeks earlier he'd brought his prized vintage (and very rusted out/worn out) 1960 Chevrolet C20 pickup to a local mechanic's shop to have it fixed. It'd spun (stacked) a bearing and he'd opted to have the engine rebuilt while it was in the shop.
If Mr. "Greatest Generation" had bothered to speak to the lowly mechanic rather than just hob-nobbing with his wealthy pal who owned the shop, he'd have learned that *I* was the mechanic who had rebuilt the engine in his prized clapped out crapbox pickup.
Get a "Nice" Job
Straight out of college, I worked in a management training program where the company made us do every single grunt job to really learn the ropes for the first 4-6 months. My aunt was dating a nice older gentleman who had a daughter my age who worked as a receptionist somewhere. We had a family get-together right after I got off work, and this man saw me in my grubby clothes, not knowing the backstory of my chosen career path. He asked if I had even finished high school and suggested I might be interested in a "nice office job" like his daughter had.
Asking is not Begging....
This is happening a lot to me RN. I'm homeless and living in my car so I post on r/Assistance when I need help with gas money. I've been having arguments with people who will say some crap like "lol, you're begging on reddit, who cares what you have to say" as if by being homeless and needing help, I'm no longer a human being with life experiences.
If you have to dig through someone's post history to find something to throw in their face to try and invalidate their argument, you've already lost.
It's on Them
Tell The Tea GIF by DreezyGiphyHas everyone noticed that the more insecure people are, the more likely they are to talk down to other people?
I think it's a combination of Dunning-Kruger, and insecurity: desperately not wanting to be the least competent person around.
Days in Retail
I worked as a retail manager and one of my staff asked me how to input a %off coupon in the till, as they had only done $ off coupons before. The customer asked us for a calculator to show us how to calculate a percentage. I was going to a top engineering school at the time and my staff member went to a prestigious university as well. We just gave each other a look and I taught her how to enter the discount into the till. The assumptions made by the customer that we were uneducated pissed me off, but I don't mind being underestimated.
Oh I can Play....
A dude was trying to explain to me how "historical military" communicated when things like radios didn't exist. He was going on and on about the drums and these little wooden flute things called fifes and how the songs played by them now a days were once used to relay commands on battlefields.
I play the fife in a fire and drum corps. The majority of the songs he was mentioning were jam tunes played for fun to lighten the mood. Some were even freaking sea shanties.
Are you Hearing Me?
I posted this like a year ago:
So I was at a bar with a friend of mine and we got to talking with this girl who was there on her twenty first birthday. We congratulate her and buy her a round.
Shortly thereafter we get into a conversation about the peopling PEOPLING of South America. She then, incredibly arrogantly, explains that there were people there and that I'm white washing history. I explain, again, that I'm not, and that there were no human beings there until they migrated there at a time we're still trying to figure out.
No she insists, these invaders wiped out the indigenous populations.
No, I say, that happened thousands of years later.
She accuses me of mansplaining. I'm like, at a loss, and am like "ok well I'm sorry." She yells at my friend (female) and is like "how are you friends with him?" And is like "God what do you even do, like, sell freaking stocks?"
I'm a geographer.
Saving Coin
I worked at a grocery store once. A group of me and a few other employees were entertaining an older man when he suddenly asked about the frequency of how often we get our paychecks. We kind of awkwardly answered, and he got a little twinkle in his eye and he threw a little "what a great lesson in saving and money management that must be". We were all in our mid to late twenties, and didn't really say anything until he walked away. He seemed a bit ignorant to the fact that we kind of had to be experts in that field in order to pay our bills every month or we were screwed out a place to live.
Stay Sober Fool
drunk cruise moves GIFGiphyHaving first year law students trying and explain to me why their friend cant be arrested for drunk and disorderly after they got in a fight and poured a drink on a bouncer.
Oh We All Know
The number of wealthy businessmen that are friends' spouses or friends of friends who try to teach me about wine when we're out to dinner.... I'm a winemaker (fair enough, how would they know? I guess it's just the assumption that a young girl can't be a winemaker; or maybe just genuine enthusiasm that inadvertently comes off as condescending). Still, was satisfying was when one of them was debating me and raving about a wine and my sister spoke up and said "yeah, she knows. She made that." 👍👍👍
Commission for the Win
I've been in real estate for 13 years, only the last two as a licensed broker. At a Xmas party a family friend was chatting me up about it. She was licensed but left the industry a few years ago. She said "doesn't this business suck. I tried to warn you. You should do like I did and pay (company redacted) for leads. They take 70% of your commission, I only made $1500 per transaction, but that's what I did and it'll help you a lot paying the bills since you're new and probably don't have anything going on."
I proceeded to tell her a client of mine is under contract on a $20mil USD apartment complex and we're closing next week. I made 2.5% commission.
Word for Word
Not advice, but someone once explained to me in literally the most basic words ever who Freud was, and why that meant she was interested in men that are the same age as her father. I have a Masters Degree in Psychology. Also It's still creepy.
I Love Anthro.....
Not advice necessarily, Customer checking out at Anthropologie. She and her daughter were trying to do math to calc discounts on the clothes. Her daughter asked some random math question. Before I could speak Mom says, "honey if she could do that kind of math in her head she wouldn't be working here." (given more than a split second I likely could have done the math-but I'm bad at math so glad I wasn't on blast).
I actually had passed the bar exam a few months prior and was still applying for full time attorney gigs AND I loved my part-time mindless work at Anthro, esp after studying for and taking the Bar, and their discounts are exceptional.
I said all of this to Mom and she kindly said congrats. Wasn't really awkward or anything. Just the right amount of, "if you can't say something nice, don't say it in earshot of it's subject."
And anything a guy says to me, almost ever.
Poke-Duh
i wanna pet it my work GIFGiphyMy username is PokemonTrainerLily. Some time ago a guy posted a photo in a random sub with a Pokémon t-shirt and I commented "I love your shirt!". Some dude then replied to me "that's the Pokémon mimikyu on the shirt, did you know?" or something like that.
To be fair, most redditors don't read usernames before posting/commenting.
For instance, Unless I have someone tagged or have upvoted/downvoted them multiple times before so they have the counter next to their name, I almost never read the username.
Damn, I almost recommended SovietWomble's Videos to SovietWomble himself once.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.