People Divulge The Most Condescending Piece Of Advice They've Ever Received


Not everybody gives advice to be helpful.

Sometimes people really just like to hear themselves talk. Sometimes they really just want to feel smarter, or more in control. They're not interested in helping you at all.

u/dreamer_boy_ asked:

What's the most condescending piece of advice you received from someone who assumed you were poorer or less educated than them?

Mansplained On My Own Song

Gig night, still a few bands to go before we go on stage. I'm at the bar checking people out and having beers, because stuff's boring. Guy comes up to me, sees my band shirt, doesn't recognize me (which is totally OK, I like it better that way), proceeds to nag my ears of about our music, trying real hard to go into technical musicalities, which again, is OK, you do you.

Up until the point where he slams one of my songs, saying he doesn't get why the hell it's in F# minor. I tell him he must be mistaken, because the song is very much in A minor. Douche says "Um, you obviously don't have the necessary musical capabilities to recognize the correct tonality when you hear it. Come back when you've actually taken some music lessons."

I wrote the thing. It's in A minor. I've been playing it for years. In A minor.


Clown College

I managed to try to explain variance is swing time to one of the worlds greatest Jazz drummers on Instagram. In my defense he asked a very basic question and I didn't know who he was. I was definitely not condescending but still feel like an idiot for trying to explain a basic concept to one of the greatest jazz drummers of our time.

He was VERY cool about it. I had a lot of people clowning me and I deserved it


Some People Can't Be Reasoned With

A lady at an office job I had for a short time saw that I was new and decided to try to teach me how to copy and paste on the computer since "we use it a lot". She got mad and accused me of "not listening to her" when I did it by using ctrl+c / ctrl+v instead of her method, which was Edit>Copy, put cursor in desired spot, then Edit>Paste. She wanted me to do it again, so I did ctrl+z to undo everything we had just done. Got mad and started screaming at me "UNDO!!! UNDO!!!" not realizing I had literally just done that, since the only correct way is Edit>Undo!!

She then brought in a younger person to teach me how to set up my email signature. I simply went to the icon that had a dropdown that said "Edit Signature" or something similar and brought up the window. The younger person said "No, that's the wrong one, let me show you where it is" and went through at least 3 different menus only to get to the exact same window. She insisted that was the right one and denied it was the exact same one.

The older lady brought the younger lady in to teach me because "she's the best here at computers". They both got mad at me for "not listening". Older lady went to complain to my supervisor about my unwillingness to learn how to use the computer. I was only in that job while I waited to hear back from developer jobs.


This Is The Worst Kind Of Person

I was admiring a Steinway concert grand piano on display in a hotel lobby.

Not realizing that I had advanced degrees in music and that I was a professional pianist, a woman said (with her nose in the air), "Work hard and save up your money - maybe some day you'll learn how to play."


This Is What We Call Prejudice

There was a time in my life when I was working 100-115 hours a week. 2 full time jobs, roughnecking and welding.

My dog got really sick during this time. So I was in the vets office waiting on the vet, holding my dog.

Had a guy in a suit walk out with his dog, took one look at me and said, "son, if you'd lay off the drugs and ate a little more life wouldn't be so hard."

F*ck that guy.

And it wasn't like I was skeletal or anything. Skinny for my frame, sure. But not skeletal.


This Is Misogyny At Its Worst

I studied music and guitar making for years, which means that I know how to use a band saw, and many other wood tools. I can literally make a guitar out of a bunch of logs. Everytime I meet a guy who plays guitar he tries to explain me how it works and how it's made and even after I tell them that I'm a guitar maker, they still try to prove that they know better. (I'm a girl) Same when I say anything related to wood working, nobody will take it seriously. I was often told to "go back in the kitchen"...



I chose to live with my parents even after I finished my education and had the means to move out on my own because my mother was always ill and needed the help. An acquaintance mentioned to me one time at a party in front of everyone that she earns 65,000 a year which is why she's able to live on her own and I should aim for a salary like that so I could "finally be self-sufficient" - I smiled at her.

I was making 6 figures.


I Sign Your Checks, Mofo

I'm a film producer. I look 20yo but I'm significantly older and more experienced than I look. I'm also a woman which can get you mixed results on the best of days.

On set, I just type away at my laptop and do menial work just to make sure all the holes are plugged up and no one is pooping the bed. I guess one camera assist saw this and thought I was a PA. His response was to flash me a handbook for the fancy camera we were using and tell me to "read up, so you'll actually learn something". I asked him what the hell he thought I was doing, asked his name, and made it clear that I paid his bills.


Go Back To Party City Where You Belong

Not exactly a normal answer but...

I'm a stripper. I've been working as a stripper for almost five years. The club I work at is very alternative so most of the time I wear converse, which actually makes me more approachable and popular.

New girl (I mean new to dancing not just the club) told me that if I really wanted to make money I should "grow up and wear some heels." I get this pretty often.

I'm consistently the top earner at our club. She lasted less than a month.


What A Jerk

After graduating college I took a part time job at a bar to help pay off student debt and buy some snazzy car parts. This was on top of my full time well paying tech job.

Someone made a mess in the men's room and I was tasked to clean it up. As I'm doing that one of the patrons looks at me and says "you know if you'd have gone to school you could be doing better than this". "Yeah I did go to school, and I have a great job in a related field, and I'm here paying off my debt in advance. But I'll remember that hot tip, thanks".


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