Not everybody gives advice to be helpful.
Sometimes people really just like to hear themselves talk. Sometimes they really just want to feel smarter, or more in control. They're not interested in helping you at all.
Mansplained On My Own SongAngry Over It GIF by Women's History Month Giphy
Gig night, still a few bands to go before we go on stage. I'm at the bar checking people out and having beers, because stuff's boring. Guy comes up to me, sees my band shirt, doesn't recognize me (which is totally OK, I like it better that way), proceeds to nag my ears of about our music, trying real hard to go into technical musicalities, which again, is OK, you do you.
Up until the point where he slams one of my songs, saying he doesn't get why the hell it's in F# minor. I tell him he must be mistaken, because the song is very much in A minor. Douche says "Um, you obviously don't have the necessary musical capabilities to recognize the correct tonality when you hear it. Come back when you've actually taken some music lessons."
I wrote the thing. It's in A minor. I've been playing it for years. In A minor.
I managed to try to explain variance is swing time to one of the worlds greatest Jazz drummers on Instagram. In my defense he asked a very basic question and I didn't know who he was. I was definitely not condescending but still feel like an idiot for trying to explain a basic concept to one of the greatest jazz drummers of our time.
He was VERY cool about it. I had a lot of people clowning me and I deserved it
Some People Can't Be Reasoned With
A lady at an office job I had for a short time saw that I was new and decided to try to teach me how to copy and paste on the computer since "we use it a lot". She got mad and accused me of "not listening to her" when I did it by using ctrl+c / ctrl+v instead of her method, which was Edit>Copy, put cursor in desired spot, then Edit>Paste. She wanted me to do it again, so I did ctrl+z to undo everything we had just done. Got mad and started screaming at me "UNDO!!! UNDO!!!" not realizing I had literally just done that, since the only correct way is Edit>Undo!!
She then brought in a younger person to teach me how to set up my email signature. I simply went to the icon that had a dropdown that said "Edit Signature" or something similar and brought up the window. The younger person said "No, that's the wrong one, let me show you where it is" and went through at least 3 different menus only to get to the exact same window. She insisted that was the right one and denied it was the exact same one.
The older lady brought the younger lady in to teach me because "she's the best here at computers". They both got mad at me for "not listening". Older lady went to complain to my supervisor about my unwillingness to learn how to use the computer. I was only in that job while I waited to hear back from developer jobs.
This Is The Worst Kind Of Personawful GIF Giphy
I was admiring a Steinway concert grand piano on display in a hotel lobby.
Not realizing that I had advanced degrees in music and that I was a professional pianist, a woman said (with her nose in the air), "Work hard and save up your money - maybe some day you'll learn how to play."
This Is What We Call Prejudice
There was a time in my life when I was working 100-115 hours a week. 2 full time jobs, roughnecking and welding.
My dog got really sick during this time. So I was in the vets office waiting on the vet, holding my dog.
Had a guy in a suit walk out with his dog, took one look at me and said, "son, if you'd lay off the drugs and ate a little more life wouldn't be so hard."
F*ck that guy.
And it wasn't like I was skeletal or anything. Skinny for my frame, sure. But not skeletal.
This Is Misogyny At Its Worst
I studied music and guitar making for years, which means that I know how to use a band saw, and many other wood tools. I can literally make a guitar out of a bunch of logs. Everytime I meet a guy who plays guitar he tries to explain me how it works and how it's made and even after I tell them that I'm a guitar maker, they still try to prove that they know better. (I'm a girl) Same when I say anything related to wood working, nobody will take it seriously. I was often told to "go back in the kitchen"...
I chose to live with my parents even after I finished my education and had the means to move out on my own because my mother was always ill and needed the help. An acquaintance mentioned to me one time at a party in front of everyone that she earns 65,000 a year which is why she's able to live on her own and I should aim for a salary like that so I could "finally be self-sufficient" - I smiled at her.
I was making 6 figures.
I Sign Your Checks, Mofo
I'm a film producer. I look 20yo but I'm significantly older and more experienced than I look. I'm also a woman which can get you mixed results on the best of days.
On set, I just type away at my laptop and do menial work just to make sure all the holes are plugged up and no one is pooping the bed. I guess one camera assist saw this and thought I was a PA. His response was to flash me a handbook for the fancy camera we were using and tell me to "read up, so you'll actually learn something". I asked him what the hell he thought I was doing, asked his name, and made it clear that I paid his bills.
Go Back To Party City Where You BelongTea Smh GIF by moodman Giphy
Not exactly a normal answer but...
I'm a stripper. I've been working as a stripper for almost five years. The club I work at is very alternative so most of the time I wear converse, which actually makes me more approachable and popular.
New girl (I mean new to dancing not just the club) told me that if I really wanted to make money I should "grow up and wear some heels." I get this pretty often.
I'm consistently the top earner at our club. She lasted less than a month.
What A Jerk
After graduating college I took a part time job at a bar to help pay off student debt and buy some snazzy car parts. This was on top of my full time well paying tech job.
Someone made a mess in the men's room and I was tasked to clean it up. As I'm doing that one of the patrons looks at me and says "you know if you'd have gone to school you could be doing better than this". "Yeah I did go to school, and I have a great job in a related field, and I'm here paying off my debt in advance. But I'll remember that hot tip, thanks".
Counting Possibilitiesseinfeld newman GIF Giphy
A former boss when I was waitressing told me that I "don't have the right temperament to be an accountant".
I've been an accountant for 25 years now.
I finished UNI and starred working as a nurse in an operating theatre. I was only 21 at the time and male so everyone assumed I was an orderly and not an RN. First day an older lady who was an orderly starts giving me advice on how to do really basic things and bossing me around. I didn't let her in on my secret. Just let her go on in her condescending way. Boy did she get her nose out of joint when they let the new orderly scrub in for an op. She really was a witch.
To the Mill.....
"Honey, do you know what a millwright is?" Asked some guy after I told him what I did for my job (as a millwright).
What is a millwright?
An industrial mechanic. Installations, repair, and maintenance of heavy equipment of all kind including and not limited to turbines, pumps, motors and machines.
I was 16 and working a retail part time job after high school hours, so it was like 5pm. A 30's something woman came in with their 10 ish year old child and said "see honey, this is why you stay in school and go to college, so you don't end up like her." Then she came up to me and said "I'd advise you to stay in school but clearly your parents didn't raise you well enough."
Hero MomMom Shopping GIF by MassWIC Giphy
My mom runs into this all the time. No specific examples exactly, but people will talk down to her or treat her badly because all they see is a jobless single mom on disability. What they don't know is she got her undergraduate summa cum laude, and then her MALS from Dartmouth College while she was pregnant with me. This was while being married to a toxic, abusive jerk and struggling with physical and mental health issues. She is my hero and I'm very proud of her.
We had a loss in the family that resulted in a gathering of all the extended family. my aunt who dropped out of college after getting married asked me what i was doing these days. I told her i was still going to school (i'm 27). she said, "you're too old for school. why don't you just go get a job and start making money instead of wasting it?"
i'm currently in medical school after having gotten a master's. i think i'll be fine.
The Bean Place
I was the cadet (intern) on a container ship. The captain liked good coffee, and our order didn't show up before we left for a pretty remote part of the world. He handed me $2,000 from the safe and sent me to Starbucks.
I'm a dirty 18 year old kid, haven't shaved or gotten a haircut in two months, wearing work boots. I walk into Starbucks and ask if they'll take 100s. Manager thinks this is some kind of joke. I tell her I need a bunch of coffee. We go back and forth, she tells me to leave the store, and there is a short line forming behind us, she just can't take me seriously.
I put 2g's on the counter and said "please convert this into coffee beans."
She was shocked.
Summa Cum Laude Surprise
I worked at a gas station in undergrad. During my last summer working there (before my senior year), a dude told me if never make anything of myself as a high school dropout. I graduated Summa Cum Laude within the year, and started law school. I was just saving money so I could go back home to Scotland to see family, so like screw him and his close minded fool who never probably never left that town once because "forget foreigners."
I bartend so I get a lot of crap. It used to annoy me because it was always unsolicited. I understand it though especially from people who have never been a bartender before so they don't understand how much money you can make.
One time though I actually had to laugh at that guy. He was a regular and came in for lunch with his employees at least twice a week. Friendly bunch and always tipped well. We started talking about the kind of work they did and what not. They had a small company that did residential electrical work. Said that I should come by and drop a resume off if I ever wanted to get a "real" job.
I entertained him and asked about pay, hours, benefits etc. he then told me I could start out at $11 an hour and with in a year or two be up to $14 an hour. Which isn't terrible. But it was the way he said it that pissed me off.
Normally I don't tell patrons what I make but this time I had to because he was coming off like he'd be doing me a huge favor. So I told him thanks but no thanks, even at $15 an hour I'd be taking a 50% pay cut. Sure there were benefits which he reminded me of but I'm sorry. $15 at 40hrs a week is $600 before taxes, I could make that in less than two shifts.
I Can Readfarm animals farmer GIF by Super Simple Giphy
Not really advice but one time I told a girl I really enjoyed the book Animal Farm and she just turned to me and said something like "but you don't study history so you don't understand all the complexities in it like I do so you couldn't possibly enjoy it".
Not that it matters, but history was mandatory at our school.
This isn't quite what the post says but I have a black belt in a martial art thing. I went to a class on a different day than I usually go, and wasn't wearing my belt. Some moron kept trying to teach me basic blocks during drill and being really condescending about it.
God every time I tell people I work from home as a romance author. You can see in their faces they mentally adjust my IQ to something significantly below zero. I then get to listen to their oh so original ideas for the novel they're either going to write when they retire, or have been "working on" for the past 5+ years. Men especially love to give me writing tips and advice and suggestions.
I've been writing for 20 years. I'm very niche (queer fantasy romance) but good at what I do and popular in my tiny circle. I seldom make less than 5k a month and have several awards to my name. But thanks for the advice, bro.
This happened a week ago.
I'm a 30 year old woman and I manage a grocery store. Our store got lucky and we were chosen to host a hiring event for assistant department managers because our office is a bit bigger than most of the stores in the area. An older guy was peering at the meat counter and I walked up to him and asked him if he needed help because I didn't see anybody behind the counter and he said, "I doubt it. I'm waiting for my interview for assistant manager and I have an insane amount of experience."
He then spots the meat department manager behind me (who happens to be another guy in his 40s) and dismisses me entirely.
I shrug it off and head to the back to get the interviews started.
Guess who my first interviewee was?
Who's the stupid one?
A co-worker treats everyone he works with as a first year apprentice and talks to people like they are stupid despite having the lowest level of education i.e. he just has his basic trade certificates while those around him have all gone on to higher education. He also has the least amount of skills and experience as in he is an average welder/fabricator whereas those around him can also do fitting work and/or machining.
I had just started with the company so I got the job of working with him because no one else would and he tried to explain to me how to use a bandsaw like I was a child, I told him to screw off and that I would do the job myself. So far he hasn't spoke to me since which is a bonus in itself.
I can Vroomcat car GIF Giphy
A store clerk told me I should save for a car because I went to the store while it was raining. I just said "yeah maybe".
I have a car, I just don't like to drive for less than 2 blocks. GustavoAlex7789
Let me hit you with a crutch....
I am a second degree black belt and have been doing it for years. Well, I injured myself one class and had to be on crutches. Its important to note I am not super thin or look super fit but I work so damn hard in my martial arts. This guy my family knows asked me what happened and I explained that I sprained my ankle and he told me "You are too fat to do martial arts. Lose some weight then you can do it again." He is by no means skinny. It was so rude.
"get out of there"
I work in a high SES area and live in a low SES area.
We hired a new employee who lives in the wealthiest suburb of this area. We were casually talking and she asked me where I live, I told her and her whole demeanor towards me changed and she started giving me money saving advice so I can "get out of there" and then started grilling me on where I plan on moving to when I have the money.
I love where I live. I'm looking for a job closer to home. I have no intention of moving any time soon.
Probably my boss telling me how to do a part of my job as I'm doing my job, then setting out a schedule for the rest of the day that I had already done. All so he can have this feeling of control or authority. I feel bad for the guy.
I have a destination....
The mom of one of my son's (very wealthy) friends offered to drive my son home after a playdate at the friend's house, instead of assuming that I could pick up my son, because she "wasn't sure if [I] had a car" since she always saw me walking around town and biking longer distances. Parking is scarce in my town and I like being active, so I rarely bother driving if my destination is less than a few miles. I thought it was kind of her to offer to drive my son home and funny that she thought I didn't have a car. I have a car.
Step Aside Sirflex flexing GIF by Christina Aguilera Giphy
When I was working as a gardener, by boss was picking up a bag of mulch from home depot, when someone said, "you need help carrying that to your car, little lady."
The "little lady" got to her. She runs her own gardening company, and will regular haul 50 bags of mulch in an afternoon.
My dad used to tell a story about the time a young women started gossiping about a co worker with him.
"Did you know he lived in a trailer park?! I had no idea.... he seems like such a nice guy... and drives such a nice car" etc. And a bunch of other judgmental things regarding stereotypes of tailor parks and the people who live in them.
My dad heard her out, then responded with "my mom lives in a trailer park."
Apparently the women went beet red and started trying to backtrack all the negative things she had just said.
*as a side note, the guy had plenty of money, he just wasn't a 'house' guy.... he spent his money on cars. Where as my grandmother was a widow who lived off social security only and couldn't afford anything outside of the park she lived in.... still kept the place immaculate. So NEITHER examples fit the stereotypes this women was referencing.
That I need to get some nutritional education. On reddit with this obvious username indicating my profession.
On Reddit there is always that one person that will argue with you (often resorting to the good old ad hominem attack) if you don't confirm their world view, even if you are an expert in the topic and have provided a clear, nuanced, and sourced argument. Then you get all the people that treat the upvote and downvote buttons as agree/disagree buttons rather than good content/bad content buttons thus turning the comments into an echo chamber.
Had a sales rep come into the doctor's office where I work front desk and tell me I needed to travel the world and try other things before settling down in a desk job.... I'm in my mid 30s and lived a lot of life before I started this job. I wasn't offended but did think it was very presumptuous of him to say that, but maybe it was wishful thinking for himself projected on to me, who knows.
I was like 19 and he was 12.....
I was babysitting my younger brother when I was like 19 and he was 12. He was pretty short for his age at the time. I took him to the movies and then to get ice cream. Some older lady was watching us the whole time at the ice cream place. She came up to me and said something like it was nice to see a young mother taking her son out for ice cream, but it was a shame I was so young. I was like "ummm, we're brother and sister, lady, chill."
I'm Already Famousnick miller typewriter GIF by Thierry Van Biesen Giphy
A fresh out of high school young lady who had just sold her first article to some online site for $20 decided to give me personal tips on FB about how I could make money writing, too, although she really doubted I would make money like she did because not everyone had her talent. I had mentioned that I was interested in freelance writing. I also mentioned that I had been a successful, full-time one for about 18 years, but she apparently didn't read that part.
I Know Facts
I've had so many people trying to claim that they're a doctor to win the argument when I point out something that is factually incorrect. I'm still only a med student but I know more than enough to tell you got your medical knowledge from a misinterpreted Google search. I try to add sources to any comments I care enough about now, but a lot of people will find ways to claim the source is invalid.
Doesn't help that half of the academic world is hidden behind pay-walls - no wonder so many people believe wacky pseudoscience when accessing the original source is impossible without a university login and a thesaurus.
At age 19 (2005) I was replacing the fuel sending unit in my mothers car on a Saturday afternoon. Pretty standard job; disconnect the lines, drop the tank straps, tank basically falls out in your hands. Easy Peasy. It's an intimidating task for the first two or three times but then you figure out the secret to all mechanicdom; there's not a single part on an automobile you can't remove and reinstall successfully if you're reasonably detail-oriented and cautious.
One of my uncle's friends, classical "greatest generation" asshole, showed up to visit and quietly (by deaf senior standards) asked my uncle "He's always struck me as kind of useless, all I've known him to do is computer stuff. Does he know what he's doing?"
Meanwhile, three weeks earlier he'd brought his prized vintage (and very rusted out/worn out) 1960 Chevrolet C20 pickup to a local mechanic's shop to have it fixed. It'd spun (stacked) a bearing and he'd opted to have the engine rebuilt while it was in the shop.
If Mr. "Greatest Generation" had bothered to speak to the lowly mechanic rather than just hob-nobbing with his wealthy pal who owned the shop, he'd have learned that *I* was the mechanic who had rebuilt the engine in his prized clapped out crapbox pickup.
Get a "Nice" Job
Straight out of college, I worked in a management training program where the company made us do every single grunt job to really learn the ropes for the first 4-6 months. My aunt was dating a nice older gentleman who had a daughter my age who worked as a receptionist somewhere. We had a family get-together right after I got off work, and this man saw me in my grubby clothes, not knowing the backstory of my chosen career path. He asked if I had even finished high school and suggested I might be interested in a "nice office job" like his daughter had.
Asking is not Begging....
This is happening a lot to me RN. I'm homeless and living in my car so I post on r/Assistance when I need help with gas money. I've been having arguments with people who will say some crap like "lol, you're begging on reddit, who cares what you have to say" as if by being homeless and needing help, I'm no longer a human being with life experiences.
If you have to dig through someone's post history to find something to throw in their face to try and invalidate their argument, you've already lost.
It's on ThemTell The Tea GIF by Dreezy Giphy
Has everyone noticed that the more insecure people are, the more likely they are to talk down to other people?
I think it's a combination of Dunning-Kruger, and insecurity: desperately not wanting to be the least competent person around.
Days in Retail
I worked as a retail manager and one of my staff asked me how to input a %off coupon in the till, as they had only done $ off coupons before. The customer asked us for a calculator to show us how to calculate a percentage. I was going to a top engineering school at the time and my staff member went to a prestigious university as well. We just gave each other a look and I taught her how to enter the discount into the till. The assumptions made by the customer that we were uneducated pissed me off, but I don't mind being underestimated.
Oh I can Play....
A dude was trying to explain to me how "historical military" communicated when things like radios didn't exist. He was going on and on about the drums and these little wooden flute things called fifes and how the songs played by them now a days were once used to relay commands on battlefields.
I play the fife in a fire and drum corps. The majority of the songs he was mentioning were jam tunes played for fun to lighten the mood. Some were even freaking sea shanties.
Are you Hearing Me?
I posted this like a year ago:
So I was at a bar with a friend of mine and we got to talking with this girl who was there on her twenty first birthday. We congratulate her and buy her a round.
Shortly thereafter we get into a conversation about the peopling PEOPLING of South America. She then, incredibly arrogantly, explains that there were people there and that I'm white washing history. I explain, again, that I'm not, and that there were no human beings there until they migrated there at a time we're still trying to figure out.
No she insists, these invaders wiped out the indigenous populations.
No, I say, that happened thousands of years later.
She accuses me of mansplaining. I'm like, at a loss, and am like "ok well I'm sorry." She yells at my friend (female) and is like "how are you friends with him?" And is like "God what do you even do, like, sell freaking stocks?"
I'm a geographer.
I worked at a grocery store once. A group of me and a few other employees were entertaining an older man when he suddenly asked about the frequency of how often we get our paychecks. We kind of awkwardly answered, and he got a little twinkle in his eye and he threw a little "what a great lesson in saving and money management that must be". We were all in our mid to late twenties, and didn't really say anything until he walked away. He seemed a bit ignorant to the fact that we kind of had to be experts in that field in order to pay our bills every month or we were screwed out a place to live.
Stay Sober Fooldrunk cruise moves GIF Giphy
Having first year law students trying and explain to me why their friend cant be arrested for drunk and disorderly after they got in a fight and poured a drink on a bouncer.
Oh We All Know
The number of wealthy businessmen that are friends' spouses or friends of friends who try to teach me about wine when we're out to dinner.... I'm a winemaker (fair enough, how would they know? I guess it's just the assumption that a young girl can't be a winemaker; or maybe just genuine enthusiasm that inadvertently comes off as condescending). Still, was satisfying was when one of them was debating me and raving about a wine and my sister spoke up and said "yeah, she knows. She made that." 👍👍👍
Commission for the Win
I've been in real estate for 13 years, only the last two as a licensed broker. At a Xmas party a family friend was chatting me up about it. She was licensed but left the industry a few years ago. She said "doesn't this business suck. I tried to warn you. You should do like I did and pay (company redacted) for leads. They take 70% of your commission, I only made $1500 per transaction, but that's what I did and it'll help you a lot paying the bills since you're new and probably don't have anything going on."
I proceeded to tell her a client of mine is under contract on a $20mil USD apartment complex and we're closing next week. I made 2.5% commission.
Word for Word
Not advice, but someone once explained to me in literally the most basic words ever who Freud was, and why that meant she was interested in men that are the same age as her father. I have a Masters Degree in Psychology. Also It's still creepy.
I Love Anthro.....
Not advice necessarily, Customer checking out at Anthropologie. She and her daughter were trying to do math to calc discounts on the clothes. Her daughter asked some random math question. Before I could speak Mom says, "honey if she could do that kind of math in her head she wouldn't be working here." (given more than a split second I likely could have done the math-but I'm bad at math so glad I wasn't on blast).
I actually had passed the bar exam a few months prior and was still applying for full time attorney gigs AND I loved my part-time mindless work at Anthro, esp after studying for and taking the Bar, and their discounts are exceptional.
I said all of this to Mom and she kindly said congrats. Wasn't really awkward or anything. Just the right amount of, "if you can't say something nice, don't say it in earshot of it's subject."
And anything a guy says to me, almost ever.
Poke-Duhi wanna pet it my work GIF Giphy
My username is PokemonTrainerLily. Some time ago a guy posted a photo in a random sub with a Pokémon t-shirt and I commented "I love your shirt!". Some dude then replied to me "that's the Pokémon mimikyu on the shirt, did you know?" or something like that.
To be fair, most redditors don't read usernames before posting/commenting.
For instance, Unless I have someone tagged or have upvoted/downvoted them multiple times before so they have the counter next to their name, I almost never read the username.
Damn, I almost recommended SovietWomble's Videos to SovietWomble himself once.
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
Vengeance is sweet.
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.