You have to be a very special person to enjoy cleaning. How easy it is to fall in love with it, though? The idea that soon something that was once filthy will now be clean? There's nothing better.
Clearly I am one of these people.
However, after reading some of these messes, even those who love cleaning would be intimidated.
Reddit user, u/Timor1ra, wanted all the gross, juicy details when they asked:
It's All Over The Floor!
My wife spilled glitter all over a cleanly mopped floor.
The floor still sparkles from time to time.
I hate glitter.
It's All Over The Bed!
My neighbor fed my dog leftover brisket over our six foot fence. I didn't know about it and I guess he had a bad reaction. I noticed he looked weird and tried to get him to go outside but I guess he just didn't have the time. He circled, groaned, looked embarrassed and then hopped up in the middle of my bed and blew sh-t in a 3 foot circle and even managed to hit the walls.
Had to throw out sheets, comforter, pillows and scrub the walls with bleach. I couldn't yell at him though, I was mad at our idiot neighbor.
It's On The Ceiling!
I was making soup and I wanted to add some creamed corn. I couldn't find the can opener, so I grabbed a hammer. I thought I was really clever, until I ended up having to clean creamed corn off the ceiling.
It's All Over The Shelves!
When I was in my early 20s, I desperately wanted to move out of my parents house. My aunt, who was living with her boyfriend, had an empty 2 bedroom condo. She told my cousin and I that we could live there for X dollar amount a month, which was well within our budget.
She told us that the condo was in need of some cleaning, which we would need to do before moving in. Overall the condo was in really good condition. We didn't encounter anything beyond significant dust until we got to the refrigerator.
I didn't know it was possible for mold & mildew to cover every inch of a surface. Thick, aggressive mold that covered the shelves, bottles and Tupperware containers. Various shades of greens and browns that extended into the freezer. Inside of the neglected containers, long forgotten leftovers that had liquified. I'll never forget the stench.
Nonetheless, my cousin and I covered our hands and faces and got to work. It took us about half a day to return the fridge to living condition. We washed up and decided to go get some celebratory drinks.
As we were walking to the elevator, we ran into my aunt coming around the corner with a shopping cart full of her belongings. She had broken up with her boyfriend and was coming home. In my heart I knew she had sold us the condo dream just to get us to clean up before she returned home. I'm in my mid 30s now and still haven't fully forgiven her.
It's Covered In Popcorn!
A movie goer took a soft sh-t on the theatre floor and dumped popcorn on it to cover it up. The guest was the only person in theatre. We're guessing they didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom so they took a sh-t on the edge of their seat and then found a new one.
It's All Over The Bathroom Walls!
Small back story
I was working at a certain fast food burger chain with a crown on it
My day off I'm 15 miles from work on a 90 degree day playing disk golf with my friends
We're out on the back 9 holes and my phone gets a text from my boss so we play the next three holes and I get to where I have better cell signal to call her
She tells me she needs me to come into work there super short staffed and are behind
I told her it's gonna be 45-an hour as I'm out on the disk golf corse and I'm gonna need to go home and shower and grab my work cloths
I quit early, called my ride and went to work after about 1 1/2 hours my boss hands me the cleaning supplies and tells me to clean the men's bathroom it hasn't been done today
I walk in and there is sh-t smeared all over the walls ceiling floor doors etc
Took me an hour and two bottles of cleaner to clean the bathroom
Asked my boss what's next she told me that was it I was needed for that and only that
I found a new job a week later and sent her a picture of my uniform burning in a fire pit after I told her I quit
It's All Over My Embarassment?
My own period blood from every desk, chair, surface you can think of.
I was 11 and I was with 3 boys.
It was bad.
Good Lord...It's Everywhere...
I wake up to the sound of my happy one year old. He's giggling in his room and I'm in my own bedroom. I decide "Hmm, I guess it's time to get up for the day, let me go get him from his crib". So I get up, walk over to his room, and open his door to get him.
This little hell demon, laughing for joy...had the worst diarrhea a tiny little human could possible have. It smelled soooooo damn terrible I started gagging. The odor quickly trying to escape through the door after being boxed in that room for who knows how long, hit me like a brick wall made from fecies...But no, that wasn't the worst part!
This mutha f-cka decided to undo his diaper straps and play helicopter with this sh-t (literally) It's on him, it's in the crib, it's on (sobing) every f-cking wall, it's in the carpet, it's on EVERYTHING. I left him in there to go wrap my face in something to try and prevent the smell, woke his mom up, threw him in the bathtub and proceeded to clean every crevice of that nasty a-- room. I to this day, in my entire 30 years of life, have never had to clean up anything as bad as that.
TLDR: My 1 year old, sh-t himself and helicoptered it all over his room.
No Joke. This Is Awful.
On a Wednesday in early January, there is news on the radio of a military jet going unexpectedly missing from the radars, near where I was. It was snowing heavily where the jet went missing, so nobody saw it. After some time, it became evident the plane had crashed...
Fast forward two days, I'm sent along a team of 150 people to find the crash site and "clean up". Debris was found around a forest, in the mountains, in a place locals call "little Siberia". We found debris over an area half a mile large and one mile long. After a quick hike in the woods, point zero was found... along with pieces of parachutes. The crew of 2 did not eject. We had to clean up the mess - plane parts and body parts - and most importantly find the black box.
I can't tell which was worse: the cold, the snow, the frustration of finding the black box blown up to tiny bits beyond any possible recovery of data, finding bits of people I had met in the flesh just two weeks before, or coming across some very toxic substances (some radioactive) from the plane.
The worst might have been getting the clothes/body parts out of the trees. Locks of hair (the navigator was female), small strips of pants, some burnt on the edges...
But hey, I got a medal out of it! And a file saying I was in contact with toxic material and a lot of kerosene fumes...