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People Describe The One Person They Wish They'd Never Met

I Hate You!

We all have those people, or that one person in particular, that specimen that really makes our skin crawl or our blood boil. It's time call out those people. It is time to expose the rot of humanity. If only we had never met... it's all very "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." But that movie had a serious point.

Redditor u/Yeetusyeetus123yeet wanted everyone to expose who is the person they want to expose for so many reasons by asking... [SERIOUS]Who's one person you wish you never knew/met?


A neighbourhood friend growing up. Totally manipulative and would gaslight everyone around them even as a kid. Would turn people against each other and emotionally blackmail them.



This guy named Gunar at camp who told my friends [who then told me] that I had a really big nose and that's what made me unattractive. This was 25+ years ago and I can't believe that that stupid kid's comment created what's turned into a nearly life-long complex. (also, some friends, huh?).


Certain people will always leave a stain on our hearts and souls. And, in retrospect, we have probably all left an imprint better left forgotten when we face facts.

When matters of the heart and feelings get entangled, there is normally no hope for a peaceful resolution, only a venomous finale. The heart wants what it wants.

It was Me...

Embarrassed Vote GIF by Rita OraGiphy

This person in middle school.

They were a fine person. But I screwed up our friendship so badly that it haunts me, so I wish I could forget they exist.



My psycho ex. Broke me down. Berated me. Kept me from my roommates, my friends, my parents. Threatened me many times. Threw a lamp at my head. Cheated on me a bunch and knowingly gave me two STDs. Called me all sorts of names. Controlled me. What I ate, when I slept, who I saw. I'm so glad I got out of there.


The "New" Person...

Last year I introduced the new girl to my friend group in school. I definitely regret that now, they started ignoring me and suddenly I had no friend group.


They were not your real friends, trust me this new girl did you a favour. You can find some that value you now, and that will happen and you'll be happy again, I promise.


She left a gift...

I would say my ex-wife, but without her I wouldn't have my daughter so... I guess I'm glad I've met everyone I've met. Brought me here, and here isn't so bad.


Everybody is going to be who they are going to be. Maya Angelou famously said... "believe people when they tell you who they are the first time." Truer words have never been spoken.

And often those people we meet from birth or they are in positions of authority that should know better. The lesson? Don't become them.


I have a couple of bosses who had screwed me over and at the time I really wanted to find some way to get revenge, but it always crossed my mind that it'll pass and I'll get over it and forgive them.

I have mostly moved on from all that crap, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't still think of doing something stupid whenever I walk by my old workplace.


In December... 

My 7 year relationship ended in Dec. I had decided that I wanted all of that but had that doubt if she truly was the person I wanted it with. She destroyed me and played games with my head and only through opening up about it with friends did I understand the depth of her manipulation and abuse of me. That last part struck me, I'm healing but still broken.


Child's Play

dolls chucky GIF by PAPERGiphy

My brother. As terrible as it sounds, let me explain. He's 2 years younger than me, physically and emotionally abuses me (has since I was about 12) and gets away with it.

He's a spoiled, narcissistic a**hole who always gets what he wants, and if he doesn't, he throws a tantrum. He had pertussis at 8 weeks old and barely survived. Honestly I wish he hadn't. He's made my life a living hell. I'm currently typing with one working eye because I changed a song he liked so he towel whipped me in the eye (red, swollen, painful, watering, and can barely see everything is blurry). I can't wait to move out this fall and get the hell away from him.


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People Break Down Their Funniest 'Sir, This Is A Wendy's' Experiences

Reddit user deadmoby5 asked: 'What was your "Sir, this is a Wendy's" moment?'

Wendy's fast food restaurant sign
Photo by Siyuan Lin on Unsplash

Most of us have heard the "Sir, This is a a Wendy's" phrase, said in those moments when someone has said something totally inappropriate given the setting they are in.

And while some of these literally take place in a Wendy's or similar fast-food chain restaurants, these awkward moments can happen... pretty much anywhere.

Redditor deadmoby5 asked:

"What was your, 'Sir, this is a Wendy's,' moment?"

...Actually, This Is a McDonald's.

"I was working at McDonald’s and this lady said, 'Can I get the Wendy’s four-for-four?!'"

"I said, 'Ma’am, this is a McDonald’s.'"

"Without a moment's hesitation, she replied, 'Indeed it is, can I get a Big Mac?'"

- lukemercerrr

Someone Separated from Reality

"I had a guy come into my place of work yesterday p**sed off because he missed his payment date and had to pay extra to turn his phone back on."

"He said something along the lines of, 'It was due at midnight, and y’all aren’t open at midnight, so how was I supposed to pay?'"

"I calmly explained that we are open until 7:00 PM every day except Sunday."

"He screamed, 'Well, unlike you, I actually have a job!'"

"At my job."

"Whilst doing my job."

- lordgabe92again

An Office Mix-Up

​"I work for a CPA office that is in an office park with a couple of doctors' offices."

"One day, a guy came in only speaking Spanish, so I grabbed my Spanish-speaking colleague to translate. He talked to the guy in the lobby for a few minutes, and then the guy left, and my coworker came back and asked if that was a joke or if we put someone up to that."

"Apparently, the guy explained that his testicles were extremely swollen and painful, and he was looking for one of the doctors' offices and just walked into the first building in the complex."

"I'll never forget, he said, '...I’m like, sir, we do taxes here, not testicles.'"

- AlternativeAcademia

A Health Advocate

"I worked in a cell phone store that had a veterans support office behind us."

"One day, an older gentleman was waiting in the queue. When it was his turn, I called him up and asked what I could help him with."

"He stepped up to the counter and told me that the veteran's hospital was claiming his vision impairment was only 20% disability, and he felt it was much higher."

"I agreed, and I offered to walk him to the correct building, and told him I would be a witness for him, lol (laughing out loud)."

- fridaycat

The Deck of Entitlement

"I was in Lowes one morning right after they opened. There was a woman at the service desk having a complete meltdown down, yelling and screaming because Lowes didn't have a licensed contractor there at the store for her to hire."

"She apparently woke up that morning and decided she needed a deck, like, that same day, and thought she could just go to Lowes and have someone immediately start building a deck."

"It was dead so I stood with the cashier listening to the show. They ended up having to call the police to get her to leave."

- DasGoat

The Coca-Cola Theorist

"I've told this story tons of times to my friends and family because it's one of my favorite Domino's Stories. This happened somewhere around 2017-2018."

"One day, it was really slow at work at Domino's. I was still a relatively new Insider (only a few months into what would be about four years) and still in school, so I was hoping that it would stay slow so I could go home early, so I could cheat on my math homework, play some League of Legends, and get some sleep since my school started an hour earlier than other schools in the area."

"A woman, probably mid-40s, came in to order a pizza. She was pretty chill, and we were just chatting while she was ordering because there really wasn't much to do otherwise since we already cleaned the store and oven and all that."

"After she got her pizza all done up, I asked her if she would like any drinks."

"She was like, 'Oh, what do you guys have?'"

"I was running down the drink options and she noticed Coca-Cola and looked at me wide-eyed like she just saw someone get hit by a car."


"...I'm sorry??'"

"She then spent the next SEVEN. MINUTES. Running down pretty much every major conspiracy, from human embryos in Coca-Cola to Flat Earth to the moon landing being faked, etc. If you think of a pre-pandemic conspiracy, she hit it."

"I was stunned. The only words that could come out of my mouth were, '...So no on the drink, then?'"

"She said brightly, 'Coke Zero, please.'"

"I guess the Zero means 'Zero Embryos.'"

- noblemile

Work That Connection

"I work in radio, and got a call on the contest line one time."

"'Yeah, I need a hotel room,' said the caller."

"'OK. How would you like me to help you?'"

"They said, 'Well... book me one!'"

"'You're aware you called a radio station's contest line, right?'"

"'Yeah. Don't you book hotel rooms for rock stars when they do a show in town? Book me one!'"

- originalchaosinabox

I Believe the Store You're Looking For is... Sephora.

"Not one specific moment, since it happened all the time when I worked at Ulta."

"She said, 'I'm looking for this lipstick,' and showed me a Sephora brand lipstick."

"I said, 'We don't sell that, but I can show you something similar!'"

"She was indignant. 'No, I want this specific lipstick, don't you sell it?! Well, where can I buy it?!'"

"I deadpanned, 'At Sephora, ma'am.'"

- Sunshine030209

A Misdirected Call

"I worked in a local cafe/newsstand/convenience store type spot. We also had a Ticketmaster outlet for a bit. Our small town had an annual concert that usually ran two or three nights. It was really popular with the local folks, so it brought in a lot of foot traffic with people buying tickets (my boss was honestly a small-business mastermind)."

"That was the extent of our involvement: we sold and printed gate passes."

"On night one of the event, I was closing the store as usual, at 10:00 PM."

"An irate woman called, wanting to 'file a noise complaint' about the concert."

"I was like, 'Ma’am, you must have the wrong number, this is a local cafe.'"

"She INSISTED that she was filing 'an official noise complaint' and demanded to speak to the owner RIGHT NOW."

"I said, 'At 10:00 PM on a Friday? Yeah, he’s not here.'"

"He also isn’t the police and doesn’t deal with noise complaints. Also, it’s only 10:00 PM, and this concert has been widely advertised for months."

"She then went on a wild rant that we needed to do… something?… about the noise, since we sold tickets. She wouldn’t let me off the call and was going berserk."

"I told her I was going to disconnect since we had nothing to do with the event or the noise."

"She called back multiple times, and finally I just let the phone ring… It was still ringing when we locked up. Like, MA’AM, ARE YOU OKAY?"

- Swimming-trifle-899

In Search of the Mystical Dairy King

"I worked at Dairy Queen about ten years ago, and a customer pulled up to our very busy drive-thru."

"Customer: 'Yeah, can I have the 10 nuggets for $1.49?'"

"Me: 'I’m sorry, sir, we don’t carry nuggets, but I can get you a chicken strip basket?'"

"Customer: 'No, I want nuggets! On your commercial! You don’t even know your own food?!'"

"Me: 'Sir, I’m sorry but we don’t carry nuggets. We have chicken strips and steak fingers?'"

"Customer: 'NUGGETS FOR $1.49!'"

"Me: 'Sir, this is Dairy Queen, you are referring to Burger King.'"

"Customer: 'Dairy King?!'"

"Me: 'You are at Dairy Queen, asking for a Burger King menu item.'"

"Customer: 'Oh. (proceeds to wait in line for another five minutes while I watch)"

- avianeyb

Deer in Headlights

"I worked at Wendy's throughout high school and some lady ordered a burger meal at the drive-thru. Over an hour later, she comes back to the front counter, slamming the burger on it, saying it was cold."

"I checked our receipts and told her she ordered over an hour ago and that burgers aren't meant to stay hot for that long."

"She said that was absolutely unacceptable and how dare we serve her a burger that gets cold."

"She then proceeded to ask me for my full name and details so she could sue me, at the same time freaking out when I didn't have a pen to give her to write down my info."

"Another customer walking by said, 'Holy s**t, lady, relax,' and she yelled at him to mind his business."

"He said, 'Well, I just feel bad for this poor employee you're yelling at. If you don't wanna eat here, go somewhere else.'"

"Bless his soul, I was only 17 and was so shocked."

- hayleexh

Not a Medical Professional

"I work as a cashier at a home goods store. I’m very friendly and honestly treasure my customer interactions."

"I was doing my usual patter, like, 'Hi there, how’re you doing, did you find everything all right?' and this lady tells me that it’s the first time she’s been out of the house in a while."

"I thanked her for choosing our store and went to move on with the transaction. She raised her shirt, showed me a HUGE angry red incision on her stomach, and started telling me about her recent hysterectomy. The stitches hadn’t even been removed yet."

"I sort of nodded and smiled and tried to pivot to her total so I could move on with the MASSIVE line that’s building, and she wouldn’t stop talking."

"I had to call for a back-up cashier while getting a very detailed description of surgery, uterine cancer, and the recovery process. She didn’t drop her shirt the entire time."

- souryoungthing

Depending on the Pet Supply Department

"I used to work for Kmart. Someone came into the store and wanted to know where the pet department was located. We only had one aisle of pet items and it was mostly items for dogs/cats (food, litter, toys, etc)."

"I took the customer to the aisle, and they said, 'This is it? This is all you have for pet supplies? You don’t have an actual department like other stores?'"

"'Yes sir, we just carry the basics. If you need a bigger selection, there is a Pet Supplies Plus located at the other end of the plaza.'"

"The customer got upset and said, 'But if I wanted to go to Pet Supplies Plus, I would have gone there. But I wanted to go to Kmart. So I’m guessing you don’t have fish food or anything like that?'"

"I showed him the same selection of fish food, and he got upset. He then started asking advice for fish tanks and again, I directed him to the Pet Supplies Plus that was located just a couple storefronts down from Kmart. When he insisted on not going to that store, I gave him directions to 2 other pet stores in the area."

"Eventually he left, but not before saying, 'This is why Kmart is going out of business!'"

"Sure buddy, the lack of a pet department is the sole reason Kmart is going out of business."

- DannyC990


"Found the product I needed online. I drove to the store and spent 20 minutes failing to find said product on the aisle it was supposed to be on."

"I showed the picture to multiple staff, none of whom recognized it."

"I finally went to the customer services desk and after 10 minutes of waiting in line got told the website I was looking at was one of their competitors."

- SarcasmWedding

Uno Reverse Card

"I went to the drive-thru at a Wendy’s and the person taking the order said, 'Welcome to Walmart.'"

"I was really confused and I heard laughing and he said, 'I’m so sorry,' he works there too and was on autopilot."

- SpecificLook7215

"You missed the opportunity for the uno reverse card. Imagine saying, 'Sir, this is a Wendy’s,' as the CUSTOMER."

- Avenntus

"A few months ago, I drove up to the Wendy's drive-through and heard through the speaker: 'Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?' (There was laughing in the background)."

"I did reply in a serious tone, 'Sir, this is a Wendy's!'"

"Cue uproarious laughter by all... I think they were stoned."

"10/10. Always going to that Wendy's."

- codeprimate

From hilarious to jaw-dropping to utterly shocking, it's fascinating to see how awkward things can get when someone does something completely inappropriate for a setting. At least in most of these cases, they made for funny and memorable stories.

Doctor using their smartphone
National Cancer Institute/Unsplash

Let's face it. No one looks forward to a doctor's visit.

Anyone declaring otherwise is fibbing and needs to have their head checked–which should be no problem for them to clear their schedule for.

While some visits consulting a medical pro is beneficial for identifying an ailment or for seeking relief, the process can still be unnerving.

Curious to hear from the experiences of strangers online, Redditor sydthakidd asked:

"What was your worst experience at a doctor's office?"

When doctors don't know who or what they're treating, it's a major concern.

Unnecessary Scan

"I was getting a bone density scan for some odd reason, and the doc came in a while later and told me I had Osteoporosis. This was not why I was there in the first place and was completely surprised. I asked him if I could see the chart, and it was for a 70 year old woman. I was a 30 something man, and he had the wrong chart! Turns out I did not have any issues at all, well, bone density related…"

– Curleysound

Pumping Iron

"Oh god, this reminded me of the time I took iron pills daily for four months because LabCorp mixed my results with someone who had severe anemia."

"When I went back to be tested again, my iron levels were SO goddamn high it was almost bad."

– swanlakepirate423

Lethal Prescription

"I went to a clinic to see a doctor about a fever and body aches and informed him I was allergic to NSAIDs.. he said he'd give me something and it was not an NSAID."

"Went home, swallowed the pill, immediate allergic reaction starts.. rushed to the A&E of a hospital where they pumped me full of drugs to stop the allergic reaction.. and the doc there asked me why I took the NSAID."

"I think the A&E doc reported the clinic doctor because he was never seen again."

– bearyken

Bad Communication

"I had a similar thing at a hospital here. Told multiple nurses and staff that I was allergic to aspirin, basically everyone except the doctor. Doctor prescribed me Advil, and assuming he looked at my chart and having no idea that both are NSAIDs, took Advil. Came back to the hospital an hour later in anaphylaxis and difficulty breathing."

"25 years later, had a minor surgery at the same hospital and now they put a bright band around my wrist immediately, and the first thing any person I interacted with asked is 'Do you have any allergies?' Annoying to be asked that 25 times in a 4 hour period, but nice to see that policy has changed to make sure that kind of thing doesn’t happen again."

– impossibilia

Unpleasant Emissions

"I had pinched my syatic nerve pushing carts at work. He accused me of having very kinky sex while my gf was in the room. I told him it was at work, and he assured me he would not judge me if it was from sex. He then gave me OxyContin and told me when ever I needed a refill I should call him and he’d make sure I had plenty. Very weird."

"The other is super mild but he kept farting. Like the whole time he’d fart every few minutes."

– Karsa69420

The last thing these Redditors expected was to endure more suffering after seeing their doctor.

Fix It, Don't Break It, Doc

"I thought I had a broken nose. The doc was showing me, on a heavy glass x-ray plate, that my nose was not broken. But as I was looking up, he dropped the plate on my nose and broke it."

– Wind2Energy

"'I, uh, guess you're here for a broken nose after all, huh?'- Dr probably."

– Chris_the_Otter

The Inappropriate Specialist

"Was 17, had an infected ingrown toe nail. My pediatrician tried cutting and digging it out with what looked like pliers and bracing his leg against the table. After f'king around for a bit he realized he wasn’t going to get it. No numbing gel or anything. Hurt like a mofo. Scheduled an appointment with a podiatrist, he numbed it, had it removed in about two minutes and told me to never see that dr. Again."

– Sam_i_am_68

More Embarrassment Than Pain

"Laid on my side with my back to the door for a prostate exam. Heard people walk by talking while a finger was in my butt and realized the door was open."

– survival-nut

"I want to move to another country on your behalf just from reading this."

– OddEpisode

If at first you don't succeed...

X Didn't Mark The Spot

"The ENT doctor removed a skin cancer from my nose, leaving an ugly scar. Turns out he excised the wrong area and I went to a different doctor to actually remove the cancer."

– DdraigGwyn

"Smug Bastard"

"Not me, but a close friend:"

"She was having debilitating migraines, to the point she couldn’t work or function. She waited nearly a month to see a neurologist. Upon a brief examination, he said:"

“You don’t have anything wrong with you. Just exercise and try not having headaches.”

"Three months later, he finally relented and did an MRI. She had massive lesions on her brain. She was diagnosed with MS. The smug bastard was somehow irritated she had a positive diagnosis. Her health wasn’t as important as his ego."

– wheresmychin

Second Doctor Saves The Day

"I had been sick for a while and had been gaining about 20 pounds a month. I had seen multiple doctors and they just told me I was just eating more than I thought which was ridiculous. I went to a doctor for a skin issue and the new doctor walked in the room and looked at me from across the room and said 'let’s get you to the emergency room' after about five seconds."

"I had end stage cirrhosis of the liver. That kind of sucked. I had a liver transplant 362 days ago and only in the last month have I started to feel like I am getting back to normal."

"Did you know you can get so sick your hair turns gray and then get better and the gray hair goes away? It’s weird honestly."

– blippityblue72

Hands-down the worst experience ever at a doctor's office was before I met with my actual doctor.

While I was waiting in a separate room waiting to go into the doctor's office, the phlebotomist came in to take some blood samples from me.

I have very prominent veins with the bluish hues making them even more visible. Yet, the phlebotomist managed to miss piercing through my veins.

Not once. Not twice. NOT THRICE.

She had to run out to get my primary care physician to jab the needle into me for my fifth–but thankfully his first–successful time.

It's a wonder how I managed to get back home in my highly woozy state.

If you were to ask most parents these days what they hope their child might be when they grow up, chances are the majority of them will say a doctor or a lawyer.

Or, at the very least, they might say they hope their child marries one.

However, had you been growing up in late Victorian or Edwardian England, being a doctor or a lawyer, let alone marrying one, was not exactly something to brag about.

For if you were someone of any means or rank, you probably wouldn't work at all.

Thankfully, the stigmatization of those jobs wore away over time, and people now respect them for the important professions they are.

Sadly though, the passage of time has not been as kind to other professions, whose pedigree has suffered the reverse fate.

Redditor probablyuntrue was curious to hear which professions people believe no longer carry the same pedigree they once did, leading them to ask:

"What job used to be prestigious but isn't anymore?"

If Anyone Rues The Invention Of The Automobile...


"They were the town engineer, manufacturer, craftsman, and problem solver all in one."

"Now they are mostly just hobbyists."- BaconReceptacle

And All They Told Was The News...

"Newspaper columnist and local news anchor."

"They used to be celebrities when they were the primary mediums people got their news from."- 4Ever2Thee

Blame It On The Name Change...

"Flight attendant."

"Back in the 1970s, if you were dating a 'stewardess', all your friends were jealous."- Earguy

Cabin Crew Applause GIF by KLMGiphy

Maybe It's People's Taste Which Has Taken A Hit...

"I was a furniture and cabinet maker in the 2000s."

"I designed and built entertainment centers for the new flat-screen tv fad."

"Paid great, everyone thought I was cool."

"No one gives a sh*t anymore and the pay has scaled way down with this economy so I’m back in school."- Low-Abbreviations-38

Owing To Certain Connotations, Perhaps?

"Spice trader."

"I was of course talking about reading actual spices."

"With the new movie, being a character in Dune is probably more prestigious than it has ever been."- I_might_be_weasel

Thanks Spotify...

"Nighttime radio DJ."- Scrappy_Larue

"They used to set what music was cool and not."- laudinum

Dj Puppet GIFGiphy

Before There Was Kinkos...


"Lithographic or various others."

"Used to be an amazing career and essential to society."

"Since the rise of the internet and decline of printed media the industry has died."

"Not that long ago, the spread of information was made possible through printers, not anymore."- Advanced-Stupid

There Sevice Has Been Expedited, or perhaps "Expedia'd"...

"Travel Agent."

"Finding flights, booking good hotels, knowing the cool places to go, how to get tickets to events, and how to pull it all together for someone used to be fairly useful skills to have."

"Now the job is basically nonexistent apart from super high-end or specialty positions."- MrMojoFomo

Their Cargo Is Seldom Precious...

"Letter carriers for the postal service."

"All I deliver now is junk mail and Amazon packages."

"Certified letters used to be treated like it was a classified gov document(because it could be) that you were responsible for."

"You even had to sign out to receive them because you were accountable for them."

"Now they come mixed in with the bulk junk mail."- flyjum

Postal Worker Vintage GIFGiphy

"Bank manager."- biga204

"I would argue that position is still prestigious in towns under 20k pop."- 2cats2hats

Some Money Management Isn't So Glamorous...

"Working at a Bank."- DogusEUW

"Before the credit score was invented, working as a banker was prestigious because you got to decide if someone got a loan or not."

"Everyone want to be buddies with a local banker because he could sign off on a loan and set the terms."

"How do you think grandpa bought the house?"

"Now individuals don’t do that algorithms do."- Limp_Distribution

"...All The Livelong Day..."

"Freight conductor/ engineer."

"Used to be a great career."

"The hours and schedule have always been rough but the pay made up for the inconvenience."

"Now corporate greed, sh*tty contracts, mass company surveillance, and insane attendance policies have turned railroading into a sh*t job."- Boo_Blicker

Survey Says...

"Land Surveyor."

"3 of the 4 presidents on Mount Rushmore were land surveyors, and owning property was a big deal so people who could give you legal authority over ownership were pretty well respected."

"Now you make $12 an hour starting to dig holes lol."- HandsOfJazz

When You Realize You're On The Wrong Track...

"Working in academia, in a way."

"Over last several decades, tenure tracks got way more competitive."

"Young scientists are now often overworked, underpaid and have uncertain future."

"No wonder that many leave the academia for private sector."- MyKinkyCountess

It's Very Easy To Judge..."

"Is any job considered prestigious nowadays?"

"It feels like the internet has allowed us a deeper look into what every profession really is like and the aura of mystery/awe that used to surround particular jobs just isn't there anymore."- justgonnaknowaway

What Do You Do For A Living GIF by Hot BenchGiphy

It's certainly worth wondering what makes people think a job is prestigious or not?

The pay? The duties? The qualifications?

None of which should ultimately factor in, as when push comes to shove, all jobs have value.

After all, most of the jobs that were considered "essential" during the height of the pandemic were generally anything but lucrative.

But where would we be today without them?

Saying “You’re Fired” Never Felt So Good
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

No one wants to hear that they’ve been let go, but, trust us, in the following examples, it’s definitely for the best. From shocking acts of sabotage to dangerous drownings and even playing with oneself on company time, these jaw-dropping Redditor’s stories have one thing in common—a sometimes sad, but always satisfying, ending.

1. Hey, Sleepyhead

I never micro-managed my employees and I always gave them a lot of discretion in how they did their jobs. However, when I got a new contract-to-hire guy who was gone from his desk way too much, I decided to investigate.

I used my admin credentials to log onto his computer and check out what he was working on. I looked into his emails and bingo! There was a message where he told a girl that he parks his car in the basement away from everyone and he goes there to nap.

The next day, I went down and found him sleeping in his car. I tapped on the glass and asked for his keycard for the door. The look on his face was like a little boy. He knew he was totally busted.


2. Bye For Now

I was supervising a call center in the early 2000s and we were still manually dialing numbers from paper call sheets. I had a new guy who, after a few days, still had zero success in getting anyone to do a survey. So I decided to listen in. After getting an answering machine on his first call, the second one was answered by a human:“Hello?”

As a reply, my employee muttered, “I know where you live, you gutless jerk!” Holy jeez. Of all the hundreds of calls this kid made, I caught that one on the second try. I called him into my office and said, “Dude, you can’t work here anymore”.

When he asked why, I replied, “Because you said, ‘I know where you live, you gutless jerk’”. The look in his eyes said it all.


3. A Real Head Scratcher…

woman wearing blue coatPhoto by Austin Distel on Unsplash

I hired a young person who was VERY pleased with himself, to put it mildly. He had gone to the best schools and was well looked after by his mom and dad. I chose him from a large field of strong economics graduates. Red flag number one: During his first week on the job, he made a point of boasting to his ex-employer about his new job.

After six months, he was a nightmare of self-absorption. The quality of his work was very poor and he would groan audibly when asked to do any menial task. He also got into the habit of surreptitiously denigrating the people who were paying his bills (aka me) and was silly enough to print and circulate these emails internally, which my assistant often found.

I particularly enjoyed his email that described how much of a jerk I was, how much I was being paid, and how I drove around loving myself in my Porsche (when I actually drove a 1978 Toyota Corolla!).

On the anniversary of his much-anticipated review, which was also the eve of his fancy overseas trip, I kept him back late and called him into my office. I then calmly handed him the stack of his emails my assistant had collected and said, “You left these on the printer. Enjoy your holiday, and don’t bother coming back”.


4. Taking Care Of Business

I once hired this guy who was so absolutely sure that he always was the smartest guy in the room when, in actuality, he was quite stupid. However, I needed employees in the yogurt shop I owned, so I kept him on making sure to only give him shifts when I was in the building.

One time, a group of his friends came in after one of his shifts and I knew trouble was coming. They all had loyalty punch cards, which I’m sure he supplied and punched out, so I had to give them whatever they wanted for free—strike one.

Another time, I had to leave the building when he was working and I came back to nothing having been rung up for an entire hour, yet the register had been opened over a dozen times, which was clearly theft (and strike two).

I sat him down, and since he thought he was such a smart guy with the brightest of futures, I said, “Well, I think it’s time I make you vice president”. You should have seen his eyes light up.

“Yep," I continued, “you’re VP of garbage collection. Now go change all of the bags and pick up all the trash in the parking lot”. As he sat there motionless, I said, “Oh, and I’m only going to need you for an hour a week at the most”. The look of confusion on his face was priceless.


5. Swim For Your Life

I was the head lifeguard while working at a summer camp and one of my employees was new. Normally, we all knew each other because we had been working there for years. I was shocked to discover this new guy must have faked his certification. It was actually so embarrassing to watch.

He couldn’t swim a quarter of a mile, couldn’t surface dive below three meters (10 feet), and had no clue how to do anything. We did training and he nearly drowned me when I was a practice victim because he had me in a headlock with my face underwater. I had to start punching him because he wouldn’t let go.

Eventually, one day, a kid started actually drowning and this new guy was standing around. One of our lifeguards-in-training started screaming and jumped in to save the kid. Naturally, the trainee got pulled down by the drowning victim and my new employee was STILL just standing there, chilling.

Being a trainee, that person was only supposed to reach or throw, but because of an unrelated, annoying incident, they were the only lifeguard on the dock. My buddy and I heard the commotion, sprinted there, and jumped in wearing all of our clothes. We grabbed both of them and dragged them out. The new guy's reaction floored me.

He said, “Oh sorry, I took a bunch of stuff earlier, so I’m really high”. I fired him right there in front of his entire class. I told him to get his stuff and sit on the side of the road. I then called my boss and the authorities who took him away.


6. Completely Unhinged

a man wearing sunglassesPhoto by Marwan Ahmed on Unsplash

This one time, I witnessed an employee throwing his girlfriend into the wall in the breakroom and was like “WHAT THE—? You can't do that, man!” He told me that it was none of my business. Unfortunately for him, I was both of their supervisors and it was, in fact, my business.

So, after about five minutes of threats, I locked myself and his girlfriend in an office and called law enforcement. I then came out and tried to reason with him until I saw the authorities pull in the drive. Right around the same time, he took his shirt off, threw it at me, and said, “Meet me outside if you’re a real man!” and stormed out.

He didn’t see the law coming around the corner and was instantly detained as soon as he walked outside. While he was getting cuffed, I leaned out the door and said, “Hey, I don’t know if you knew, but you’re fired. We’ll mail your check”. He was crying like a little kid in the back of the car while they talked to his girlfriend.

It was absolutely beautiful. Little did I know he also had warrants. So… bonus, I guess? Oh, and for anyone wondering, the last I heard was they are still dating.


7. Got Your Back

I hired what I thought was a diamond-in-the-rough employee—a 40-year-old youth pastor who had some experience cleaning. Mind you, I was 23 years old and it was my first time in a management position, so I had been forewarned that it may be a little rough trying to manage someone much older than me.

Anyway, things started out fairly well as I walked him through his tasks. He seemed like an OK guy, but when I would show him little tips and things we were supposed to do, his reactions were verging on disrespectful. Eventually, toward the end of the morning, I simply asked him if he had done a part of the bathroom that we were supposed to do.

He replied, “You know I wasn’t born yesterday, man”. I was sort of taken aback by it, and when I went to check if he had done it, he obviously hadn’t. I let this slide though and near the end of the morning, he sat looking at his phone because he was “finished” instead of helping me with my work.

I absolutely hate when people lack decency and teamwork skills. I had been nothing but kind to him, and all I received was disrespect. The final task was to take the trash out to the dump, so I led him to the dump and said, “So how are you liking this job?” He said, “I don’t mind the job, it’s just you, man…your mannerisms”.

I was fed up at the end of a long night and I laughed in his face and then looked him right in the eyes and asked what I was doing wrong. He just kept ranting about how disrespectful I was and how I didn’t say “please” and “thank you”. I started to laugh at every little thing he noted, which really ticked him off.

The next day, I told my boss what happened and my boss told the guy that it wasn’t going to work out. The guy then proceeded to send a long email about how my boss had smelled like drinks upon their first meeting and how I was a terrible manager. My boss is a former heavy drinker, so this hit him pretty hard.

It was the first time I had heard my boss swear profusely to me as he vented about this guy. Needless to say, I never saw the youth pastor again, and my boss and I bonded to the point where he gave me a significant raise and a part-time “counseling position” (aka he now vents to me often but I enjoy it).


8. Plot Twist

I fired a guy by telling him he was obviously too skilled to work under me and should be running his own kitchen. He found a new job and ended up thanking me.


9. Special Delivery

gray sedan beside pizza storePhoto by Matthew LeJune on Unsplash

I worked at a pizza place in a college town, we had a driver—let’s call him “Derrick”. The manager was also named “Derrick”. Derrick the Driver sold illicit substances on the side. It was nothing big time and he didn’t make it obvious, but most of the other kitchen staff knew.

Another driver calls in on his day off and asked to speak with Derrick. Derrick the Manager came over, picked up, and said, “Thank you for calling Pizza Place, how may I help you?”

“Yoooo, Derrick! Where da buds at?” Wrong Derrick. Click. So, Derrick the Driver worked the rest of his shift. Then Derrick the Manager brought him into the manager’s office and fired him. Derrick the Driver was a nice guy and well-liked by most of the staff, and the story got out quickly.

The dummy who called in and asked the stupid question was also fired, but not as many people cared about him. The whole event became a Pizza Place legend for the next couple of years.


10. Very Dirty Work

I own a chain of dry cleaners. Three years ago, a month before I sold the business, I went undercover and started training with the staff as a newly hired part-time employee. We didn’t want anyone in the company to know that the business was being sold until everything went through. I couldn't believe what I uncovered.

On my first day of a ride along with one of the delivery drivers, he showed me how he filled up the van with the company credit card while also putting $20 worth of fuel into his personal car.

When I was training with one of the store managers, she showed me how to make some extra cash. She came into work with pockets full of coupons and applied one to every other cash order after the customer left. This gave her an average of an extra $10 per hour.

On my last few days, I was in the production plant training with the production manager. I was mostly learning about the equipment and its maintenance. I found out that he wasn’t doing half of the regular maintenance that needed to be performed.

He was simply marking down that the service had been performed and then throwing out brand-new filters, which were $290 each. On the final closing day, I went around with the new owner and his wife and met the staff…I came to every employee and properly introduced myself.

When I came to these three clowns, I came up to each one and said, “You’re fired". To say they were shocked is an understatement.


11. Mixed Emotions

This was an easy one for me. All I said was “Welcome back! You’re fired” after my employee had failed to show up four days in a row without giving any notice.


12. Yikes!

person showing handcuffPhoto by niu niu on Unsplash

I found out that my assistant manager was a serious addict who was taking money from the registers and regularly using substances in the bathrooms. But that wasn't the worst part. One morning, she had a hit-and-run accident at 4:00 am and came to work right after.

At noon, officers showed up, cuffed her, and took her to the station. As they were taking her away, she told the other employee to lie to me and tell me she was sick in the bathroom when I called. Luckily, that employee called me instead. I came in and sent that employee home while HR and I figured out what to do.

Not surprisingly, the addict keyed my car on the way out. When she came back for her next shift, it gave me great satisfaction to say, “You’re fired”.


13. That Escalated Quickly

I used to manage a T-shirt shop. I had an employee who was re-hired after having left years and years beforehand. When this employee was hired back, she did not receive seniority since her prior work with us had been more than five years ago. She didn’t like this.

One night while I was working alone, we were absolutely slammed and I didn’t get around to putting tags on the last 10 or so t-shirts in my pile for inventory. Clock-out time rolled around and I left a memo on the counter for the new/old employee asking her to finish tagging the last few shirts—as a sales associate, this is her job.

The next day, she sent me a four-part epic of a text message. Within the text, she straight up threatened me with bodily harm if I ever dare leave her work again. She then went on to colorfully explain that it’s not her job to do mine if I feel lazy and that I’m a sleazeball for taking her position.

She even went so far as to explain to me how the extra 10 minutes it took her to tag the shirts totally messed up her flow, boohoo. Now, this on its own would have been grounds for a write-up.

However, since this wasn’t her first outburst or incident involving threats, I got to follow up her text with a phone call that went as such: “Hey S, just sent that text over to [our bosses’ name], you won’t need to worry about being in that sort of a situation ever again! You're fired”. It felt good.


14. Up In The Air: The Prequel

A job I had back in 2003 once gave me the task of flying out to a city I’d never set foot in, firing the entire crew, and hiring and training a whole new crew. I had never met these people before in my life. I wasn’t even told why these people needed to go.

All I knew was that I was making $20/hour (which was a lot then) to do this. I felt horrible. I felt like the lowest human imaginable. One of the women cried. She said she would lose her apartment if she lost this job. I never want to do that ever again.

It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t my fault that these people were let go, it felt like it was my fault. And I don’t want to feel like that. Some people can deal—I can’t. Unlike George Clooney’s character in Up in the Air, though, I wasn’t trained to do this.

Hiring people? Absolutely, I was good at that. Training a crew? No problem. The firing aspect was completely new to me. I didn’t even know I was going to be doing that until the flight was booked. I felt like I had been duped into it.

Also, I was only 20 at the time, so I couldn’t rent a car. Imagine you’re at work, doing your thing, and you see this kid hop out of a cab, introduce himself to the crew, and then sheepishly tell everyone that their work won’t be needed anymore. What a nightmare.


15. You Deserve A Break Today

people inside buildingPhoto by Sangga Rima Roman Selia on Unsplash

During high school, I worked at a department store. Over the years, I eventually worked myself up to the role of weekend/night manager. I had the ability to fire people, but it had to be for a “REALLY good reason”.

I had an employee, who was the same age as I, who was often spotted in her car getting it on with her boyfriend. Her breaks were supposed to be 15 minutes, but she often took much longer.

The final straw came when she had the nerve to get her boyfriend to call in sick for her while they were very obviously boinking. I told him, “Getting laid is not a valid sick excuse, and if she doesn’t find someone to swap or come in then she’s fired”.


16. That Was Too Easy

One of my employees was selling illicit substances during her shifts at my internet cafe. I had my night guy come in with me. He went behind the counter and I asked her to come talk to me outside. She said, “Who is going to watch the till?” I told her the night guy was.

We then went outside and I asked her if I could buy an ounce off her. She said, “Just a sec, I’ll get you some”. I said, “Hey, don’t bother”. She looked at me, confused, “What?” I just smiled because she'd just dug her own grave.

I said, “You’re fired”.


17. Slow And Steady…

My most satisfying “You’re fired” moment was with an employee who had been part of our family business for about four years. For three of those years, he had been surreptitiously pilfering money from us.

We finally switched over to a new accounting system and he kept doing it. The old system could only be used as soft evidence, but the new system was rock solid. Once we added up his total theft, it was just below Grade A Grand Theft for our state.

So, we sat on it for a day or two trying to decide what to do. By the time we finally acted, he had moved himself up to Grade A Grand Theft. We were able to get all of our money back, but I guess he still has a record to this day.


18. Timing Is Everything

selective focus photography of lensPhoto by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

I had an employee who was an addict. He also thought he was smooth enough to swipe merchandise and sell it behind the store. I sat through six tapes worth of security footage, and in one of them, you can very clearly see him snorting something off of one of the boxes in the storeroom and then slumping over for fifteen minutes.

After those discoveries, it was all just a matter of time. In a scene that could have been right out of a movie, I told him that he was fired right as the authorities were putting the cuffs on him. The best part was I got a pay raise and an award for finding the source of the in-house theft.


19. Bonus Points

I work at a residential facility for at-risk youth. One time, I caught the supervisor sleeping with an adolescent. I told the supervisor to go home and wait for the authorities. However, the facility tried to cover it up so I called law enforcement Child Protective Services, and two other government agencies on both the employee and owners of the facility—quadruple firing.


20. Damage Control

I used to be a manager at Journeys (the mall shoe store), and I always liked to lay it on thick when I was letting teenagers and early twenty-somethings go. I’d start off by telling them that because I’ve been fired before, I know what they’re going to do.

“You’re going to tell your friends and family that it was a misunderstanding or that I’m a jerk or anything that absolves you of guilt here,” I’d say. “You will point the finger, but I want to make it very clear to you, as it was made to me, that it was 100% you who got yourself fired”.


21. Belt And Suspenders

woman in brown shirt covering her facePhoto by Fa Barboza on Unsplash

When I had to fire someone, all she did was cry. Even though she had been given three verbal warnings and three written warnings, she still tried to blame everyone around her. She then accused me of inappropriate behavior and harassment.

Luckily for me, the security supervisor had been outside the open conference room door the whole time. I was also glad that the room I fired her in was under camera surveillance.

It sucks, but that is why that workplace required a female member of management to be available while a male was firing a female employee, and vice-versa. The allegations still had to be investigated, but it did not take very long. I encourage all businesses to have a similar policy.


22. Hello, Goodbye

My dad told me about this girl who showed up an hour or so late to work three days out of five during her first week. On the third day, he asked her why it took her so long to get there. She said, “Oh, this morning there was a lot of traffic coming from my hometown”.

Little did she know she lives in the same town as us. My Dad said, “That’s funny because I live there too and I had no problem getting to work”. Before the end of the day, she had been sent on her merry way, carrying her personal items in a box.


23. Getting Paid To What…?

I few years ago, I was a security guard supervisor for the NASCAR campgrounds. After trying to get ahold of one of my new guards on the radio for about 20 minutes, I assumed he had fallen asleep. He was supposed to be sitting in his car at a somewhat remote guard post.

Naturally, I thought it would be funny (and teach him a lesson at the same time) to sneak up on him and scare a reaction out of him. As I approached him in his car, I froze. He was looking at his phone and doing something so obscene.

The look on his face was both horrified and embarrassed. I said, “Go back to the compound, turn in your radio, and drive home, with BOTH hands on the wheel”. I had never wanted to fire anyone, but this time it felt right.


24. Meet The New Boss…

brown tabby cat on green and white textilePhoto by WTFast on Unsplash

This happened during my first week on the job. I was a manager and one of the employees thought I was an intern so he started complaining about management (aka me) and bragging about how he sleeps on the job and so on.

During a particular work day when he was playing World of Warcraft on his laptop in the break room, I asked him if he ever gets in trouble. He told me that the game is a diversion and he’s actually watching dirty movies.

He alt-tabbed to show me he wasn’t kidding and then told me to keep cool and don’t tell the new jerk department manager. I then told him that I was the new department manager and that he was fired. I went straight to HR.


25. Fill ’Er Up!

I heard this story from one of my favorite bosses. Our lead character is a particularly nasty little piece of work. He’s creepy to women and extremely gifted at alienating everyone.

He got a job as a driver on a fairly decently budgeted movie and my friend didn’t want to employ him but this guy had weaseled his way in with some of the top people. Partway into production, he got told by my friend to fill up one of the production cars with diesel and drive it back to the office.

He pulled into a service station and went to fill it up. The car had lost its diesel tank cover and a cheap plastic one that just said “fuel” was in its place. So, the bozo jammed a pump into the tank, not noticing it didn’t fit properly, and proceeded to fill it up.

He then drove the car back to the office which was an hour-plus drive. For those who don’t know, regular fuel in diesel cars is a VERY bad idea. The damage to the engine was five figures worth and the source of the error was traced back to bozo. If he had come clean, he would’ve been fine. If had apologized, he would’ve been forgiven.

When he got called into the office, he came in like a big swinging jerk, swearing at everyone within earshot and trying to pin the blame on my friend. He was so obnoxious about it that he was fired on the spot.


26. The Best Movie Ever

As the manager of a movie theater, I make sure I have security cameras pointed at key areas of the business. I had one employee who would roll his eyes and straight-up argue with me about anything I asked him to do. I needed to have just cause to fire him.

One day, I asked him to do something and then headed back to my office. My assistant manager was watching the camera and told me that when I turned my back, the employee made a rude gesture with his hand. I cued up the camera system and brought this guy into my office.

I proceeded to play him the clip and then I fired him. It was amazing. I felt so happy to be rid of that little jerk.


27. To A Tee

people in restaurantPhoto by K8 on Unsplash

I got my boss fired. I worked at a restaurant and we would order uniforms and retail shirts that we sold to customers every month. I put away the items in order, and then the next day I saw that the retail shirts were all gone.

When I asked my boss about it, he got weird and then said he gave them away to the crew. I didn’t question it, because he was my boss. The next day, he sat me down and wrote me up for checking my email on a work computer. The company policy was to not go to a website you wouldn’t show your mother.

I started to realize that he was just trying to find excuses to fire me. So I asked some of the crew members if they had been given t-shirts. No one had. That's when I got suspicious. I looked at the security video from the day before and saw the boss was leaving with a big garbage bag full of something.

I called our district manager and then, on a hunch, I checked eBay and sure enough, someone was selling our company's retail shirts. I checked the invoice, and the amount perfectly matched what was on eBay. I called the DM back and he told me to come in for the opening shift as well because he needed me to work a double.

I showed up and my boss was puzzled as to why I was there, as he was opening that day. I told him that the DM had asked me to and his face fell into an “oh no” look. The DM confronted him with the information, my boss admitted to it and the DM fired him.


28. Not-So-Healthy Work Environment

About a year ago, the health club company I worked for bought out another health club chain, and I was tasked with going to the new club and turning it around. Because the old club was bought out, I was expected to correct all of the problems.

Our club opened up at 4:00 am and within a couple of days of taking over, one of the members took a cell phone picture of my front desk check-in person sitting there on her phone. My boss emailed me the picture with the instructions to “Fix this”.

This was my first big management gig, so I had to prove to him that I had the balls to fire someone. I pulled her aside and asked her about it. She said that she was frantically trying to find someone to drive her kid to school because her car broke down. She actually traveled several miles that day to get to work by 4:00 am.

I felt horrible because I was given the “It’s either you or her” speech by my boss. I put it off for the rest of her shift, kind of hoping the whole situation would pass. It didn’t. She cried and told me her rent was due and this was her only job. She begged me to give her another shot.

Keep in mind I didn’t even know her name before I was expected to fire her. I ended up firing her, but I hooked her up with a job at my buddy’s restaurant where she was paid almost twice as much.


29. A Way With Words

I was the night manager at a Subway, and with that title came very little added responsibility. However, I did have the ability to fire people at my discretion if I had just cause. Well, this one girl was downright disgusting.

She came into work smelling like straight poop and looking like a hobo that had been beaten with a severed deer head on the regular. One shift she managed to upset a customer to the point of tears.

That incident was so wrong but it was also a gift in the form of my perfect opportunity. I said, “We cannot keep you anymore, please leave and I’ll send you your pay at the end of the week”. She was surprisingly calm about the whole thing.


30. Nepo(ish) Baby

man in black jacket holding a lightPhoto by Kyle Johnson on Unsplash

The setting for my story is a low-budget horror movie. I spent pre-production volunteering in the art department in the hope of getting my first job. Others came and went, but I hung in there. On day one of filming, another guy joined the department.

He had no trouble getting in because his dad was dating the producer. I didn’t particularly like him but I worked with him. He was very loud and opinionated and forever saying how he thought things should be done. I knew about his connection to the producer, so I just kept my mouth shut about him.

Two weeks into filming, one of the department heads came to me and asked what I thought of him. Before answering, I briefly wondered what he had been saying about me, but I just told the department head that we get along fine. A few days later, the same department head came back to me.

Apparently, the guy has been mouthing off about the visual effects in the movie and what he thinks my team should have done instead. I again said that we are fine, but the department head looked at me skeptically and said, “Because I think he treats you like a huge idiot”. He then walked off.

Apparently, this jerk had alienated the first assistant director, the third assistant director, and the stand-by props guy. He was also loathed by the visual effects guy and the two art department heads. When Monday rolled around and there was no sign of him on set, I asked around.

Apparently, he’d been transferred to the film’s “viral marketing” department.


31. A Friend In Need...

I had a cashier who worked for me for about a year. He never did his job. If he went out into the store, he’d tell other employees that he was finished all his work and that I’d sent him to help them. He would then follow them around idly chatting and preventing them from working.

He would ask his friends to come in and shop so he could “help” them for what would sometimes be over an hour. On several occasions, I caught him actively hiding. I couldn’t prove any of this, and my boss was constantly furious with my shift (and subsequently me) for requiring hours of overtime every night trying to catch up with the work the kid didn’t do.

One night, feeling angry and more than a little spiteful, I refused to let the kid leave until he’d finished his work. He whined and cried that his ride was outside waiting and that he wouldn’t be finished for hours. I told him tough luck, he should have finished his job earlier, then, and went into the office to do manager things. Then I heard voices.

I came out to discover that he’d let his ride into the locked and closed store and this person was doing the kid’s job for him! I told him that under no circumstances was it okay to let people into the store after I’d locked the doors. I ushered his friend out and locked the doors again. But that wasn't the end of it.

The second I was back in the office, the kid unlocked the doors and let his friend back in. That was when I realized with glee that I absolutely had the front doors on camera. I finally had rock-solid evidence to get the kid out of my store once and for all. I forwarded everything to corporate.

The very next day, he was fired—and my overtime issue was resolved. Good riddance.


32. Dollar Signs

I worked as a supervisor for a sign-spinning company for a long time. I had permission to hire people, and although firing wasn’t in my power, my word was enough to make the person above me do it. So, in effect, I could fire people.

I fired people for reasons ranging from dirty uniforms (and I should specify that I am not strict on dress code so you had to be pretty bad), attendance, and attitude. My favorite firing was a man we will call Mr Price.

Mr Price attended one of my hiring events in Orlando, and I was desperate to assign people out in the Clermont/Groveland area. We hire people at $10 an hour but, at the time, I had the authority to give someone a temporary raise to $12 if they had to travel to a location 30 miles or more away.

Anyway, since I was desperate, I said anyone who would take the spot could have the raise for the weekend. He took it, and I found out the location was a block away from where he lived. I had already given my word, which I do not break, so I let it slide.

He called out his first day. The next day, he came to work (we have a hard time replacing people, so continued employment after several no-calls is quite common). All is fine and dandy. The next weekend, he called out after I said that he couldn’t have the $12 an hour.

The next few weeks carried on with spotty attendance from Mr Price. I finally found someone else to work the area and assigned that person. Mr Price contacted me looking for work and I told him he could have the same spot (I intentionally double-booked).

I got a call at 1:30 am from Mr Price saying his phone is about to die so he won't be able to make it to work. I proceeded to let loose and tell him to never contact me for work again.


33. No Child Left Behind?

blue ferris wheelPhoto by Brandi Alexandra on Unsplash

I was a supervisor at a summer camp and one time we had a field trip to a theme park. I gave the staff a pep talk explaining the various methods to not lose a child (ex, buddy system, numbering the kids, having them hold a rope, etc). The counselor in charge of the six-year-olds did none of those things.

At the end of the day, I was astounded by her negligence. She came back 20 minutes late and one kid short. Fortunately, another counselor from another group found the child. I pulled her aside and said, “You had one job. If I had my choice of leaving my son with you or a random bum, I’d leave him with the bum, because for 10 bucks he’d watch my kid”.

She cried, and I took over her group until we found a suitable replacement.


34. Spill The Beans

Not a typical employer-employee situation, but I used to care for some young children who had special dietary needs (no gluten, no dairy, limited sugar). It wasn’t a case of helicopter parents—these kids had legitimate allergies and it was very important that we followed their special diet.

Once the older child had started school, and bearing in mind that I would soon be moving out of the area, the parents decided to transition the kids into an in-home daycare that seemed great. The mother agreed that during the transition period, I would be at this in-home daycare with the kids.

I started out staying the entire time they were there. Then I would leave a little early. Then I would come late and leave early, etc. Due to their special dietary needs, the kids were sent with a variety of snacks and treats to be given to them during the week as well as daily lunch and beverage.

One day, I walked in to find the daycare provider feeding the younger child (who was non-verbal and did not have full comprehension of his dietary needs) bites of her own sandwich and giving him milk. His sister, who was older and able to identify that this was bad, was telling the daycare woman that he couldn’t have those things.

She was totally ignoring the girl. I asked her to clarify what she was feeding him, and she admitted that she was giving him gluten and dairy products but insisted that a little wouldn’t hurt him. When I informed the parents, they thought it was a misunderstanding at first, but once they realized the truth, we went and picked the kids up.

We had actually been worried about the boy because he had recently started to behave strangely but didn’t realize that it was because of a change in his diet. We had assumed that this woman would take his medical needs seriously.

It was really satisfying to be able to say, “You’re not a professional with children if you can’t take their needs seriously. You’re fired”.


35. That Got Dark

I once fired a co-supervisor for punching a 16-year-old female employee in the eye because she threw an ice cube down his shirt. It felt good to send that jerk packing—or it DID until he went to the regional office and complained. I can't believe what they did.

The higher-ups fired the hard-working girl he punched because she caused it by “horsing around”. To make matters worse, her mother had a serious drinking problem and this girl was the family's only breadwinner.


36. Party Pooper

white sedan parked on sidewalk during night timePhoto by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

At the limo company I used to work for, there was this one employee who was always breaking minor rules (ex: wearing jeans when we were supposed to wear slacks, showing up five minutes late every day, etc). These were not fireable offenses but they were annoying.

She was also constantly complaining about how hard it was to be in college (she was taking one online class), have a job, and have a kid. She also never shut up about her baby daddy drama. Basically, all of her problems were self-inflicted but she complained about them constantly.

So one day I was at work and had already been there almost eight hours when about six people called in for the night for various reasons (I ended up working about a 21-hour shift that day). This particular girl (we’ll call her Jennifer) called in sick, saying her daughter has lice, she picked her up early from school, and she can’t leave the house until both she and the kid get checked.

This should have been our first red flag since it was Saturday but we were so swamped that day that this fact was overlooked. This girl knew all the limos and buses would be downtown that evening. So, at about 9:00 that night, we were so busy that the owner of the company had to drive a group in one of our party buses.

He was downtown on Fifth Ave and who does he see walking across the street right in front of the bus in a short gold dress? Needless to say, he was upset. He dropped off his group and went back to the hotel he saw her go into. Long story short, it took him a while but he found her.

She saw him coming from pretty far away since he’s a big guy, and she cowered down at her table, trying to hide her head. He calmly walked up to her and whispered in her ear, “Hey, Jennifer… You’re fired”. He then grinned at her and sauntered away. That 20-hour shift was worth it for me after hearing that story.


37. Excuse This Interruption

My buddy Chris is an executive chef at a semi-fancy restaurant. One evening, I was walking by and saw him taking a break out back, so I walked over to chat with him. We were having an interesting conversation about movies and bicycles when one of his waitresses came out back.

“Chris! This is not fair! I wanted to take my break but Audrey said she had already switched with Wendy and so I thought it shouldn’t matter and so I went to take a break and Frank said I had to stay on the floor and it’s all so stupid!” But that wasn't all.

She took a breath and continued, “And when I got here this morning, I know I was supposed to be rolling silverware, but I had to check in the back because Rodney said something about needing help when he’s not on the line because he’s probably in the walk-in, but Rodney wasn’t there so I went back to the front”.

“I swear it looked like the rolling had already but done but it wasn’t so Frank yelled at me and THAT’S why he won’t let me take my break! It’s so wrong!” This girl carried on, breathlessly ranting, whining, and complaining for five solid minutes as Chris and I stood there, silently. Eventually, she shut her giant mouth.

Chris said, “Angie, you’re fired. Turn in your apron. Your final check will be in the mail”. We watched the girl turn green, blue, and then purple. “But I…I just—” Chris interrupted her. “I said get off the property and don’t come back. You’re done here”.

I wanted to pick up our conversation where it left off, but Chris, who was an eternally calm, cool, and collected dude, felt it necessary to explain. “I put up with that noise for THREE weeks. Every single day. I have my limits”. And that was that. We went back to chatting about movies and bicycles.


38. Lowest Of The Low

I employed a nurse and nurse assistant who both threatened and hit elderly patients. I was very happy to walk both of these people out of our facility. I wasn’t happy that I got to fire someone, but I was happy that they were caught on tape and were no longer in a position to harm others.


39. News To Me

woman in black long sleeve shirt covering her facePhoto by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

I have a weird one. She was a writer and every writer had to write seven articles a day. If you were diligent, you could knock one out in half an hour, it wasn’t really strenuous or anything. Anyway, some of the editors started to notice “similarities” in her work.

We found a few cases where her submissions were actually old files that she had dug out of the file share and changed the byline on. She was reprimanded about this three or four times over the course of six weeks. Each time she said she really didn’t know how it happened.

She was so convincing that we were suspecting a technical glitch or something. It was not like she changed a few sentences around, the articles were exact duplicates. A manager finally decided to dig around—and she couldn’t find a single original article submitted by this employee over the past six months.

This employee had been coming in to work for six months and doing god knows what. No one knows. When confronted about this during her firing, she cried and said she still doesn’t know how it happened. People liked her, too. Her firing really wasn’t satisfying, even though we caught her lying about months of work, because it was so disconcerting.

Her behavior was like she had a brain tumor or something. Tons of people from the office had been charmed by her. We were all friends and she lost most of her social group because no one could understand why she did what she did.


40. What Happens In Vegas…

Our company’s new secretary/promo model came to a Las Vegas event with us and ended up disappearing with some guy for the rest of the trip. She didn’t even fly back home with us. When she eventually showed up for work, I was given the green light to fire her.

I believe she ended up moving to Vegas for the guy and then became a woman of the evening.


41. Food For Thought

It’s never been satisfying to let somebody go. People rely on regular pay and when I fire a person, I’m taking away their ability to provide for themselves and their family. I understand that it needs to be done, and I am the one that chooses to do it because of their performance, but nobody should find that feeling satisfying.

What’s even worse is when I have to clean up another person’s mess. For example, when somebody needs to be let go because they’re underperforming or won’t fire people who have been given ample warnings and chances to get better and they expect to pick up their slack.

I’ve had to walk into a room and fire people I’ve barely worked with because their boss didn’t have the sense or the balls to do it.


42. No Brainer

person in black shirt standing in front of brown wooden table with brown and white woodenPhoto by Joshua Fernandez on Unsplash

I have a friend who works at a jewelry store with an accountant who they had to report to the feds—for the craziest reason. It turns out the accountant had faked most of her references to get the job. She then used the business bank account to buy hundreds of dollars worth of intimate toys on Amazon.

The accountant also used the company account to buy multiple plane tickets and reserve tons of hotel rooms in Europe for an upcoming vacation. They fired her pretty fast, but she disappeared. The authorities found her and pretty quickly threw her in the slammer. Oops.


43. Morale Booster

As a young manager at a large corporation, I was once tasked with firing the branch manager, assistant manager, and two other employees at one of the branch offices. Basically, there was a love triangle going on among these three, and upper management (from another state) wanted them all fired.

I was called on a Sunday night and told to greet them all on Monday morning with security. I also had to perform their exit interviews, which is absolutely impossible once you’ve just fired someone.

The entertaining part was when one of the employees desperately blurted out, “I only slept with [Branch Manager] because I thought it would help the company!” I asked her to explain why and she went through a whole weird rationalization.

After she explained herself, she said, “So, do you understand?” I said, “Yes, I understand”. She smiled at me and said, “So, I’m not fired?” I said, “Of course, you are still fired!”


44. Happily Ever After

I supervised a woman who was beyond retirement age by a number of years. When I became her supervisor, I knew that it was time for her to be let go. It wasn't because she was old, but because she just didn't care enough to try anymore.

She slept at her desk regularly, was frequently late, left early, etc. When she was working, she made frequent mistakes and was little or no help in fixing the mistakes she had made. One of the big reasons we kept her on was that she was supposed to have extensive knowledge of a process we were updating. We were so wrong.

As we were working on updating the process, we learned the hard way that she didn't understand, nor did she care enough to learn anything about how the process actually worked. She knew enough to use the process, but that was it. She was not a nice woman, and she was a worse employee.

I honestly think that when I made the decision to let her go it was the best for her and for us. That's what made it so satisfying. I felt like I was doing her a favor by making a choice she couldn't. Mentally, she felt like she was still a great employee, but she couldn't recognize that she had given up years ago.

Now that she's retired, our team is in a better place and she's much happier. It was a good decision to let her go.


45. Big Baby

woman in brown sweater covering her face with her handPhoto by Dev Asangbam on Unsplash

When I was a manager, I had a girl working for me who was a total ditz. Luckily, the job wasn’t that hard, so at first her lack of intelligence wasn't a big deal. One day, however, her friends came in and asked her to go somewhere.

She then asked me if she could leave early. I said no because she was closing that day. She proceeded to cry and lock herself in the bathroom. She even called her mom and told her how much of a jerk I was. I just knocked on the bathroom door and told her she could go—forever.


46. Let This Sink In

I told a very poorly performing employee to take a paid day off and think about whether this job was a good fit for him. I called him after the day off and he said, “This is definitely the right place for me”. I told him to take another day and think about it some more.

He finally saw the writing on the wall and realized that I was offering him the chance to quit before he got fired.


47. Um, Fries With That?

I had an employee who we suspected was less than perfect. This fact was confirmed, however, when I watched her preparing a customer’s meal…My jaw literally DROPPED.

She accidentally spilled a blob of ketchup onto the floor. She looked at it for a second, paused, and then scooped it up with her hands. After that, well, you know the drill.


48. Shine On You Crazy Diamond

During the summer, I managed the mowing crew at a large park. I had a few stoner kids but I really didn’t care as long as they cut the grass. I had this one kid who was assigned to cut the grass along the road outside of the park.

He drove the mower out at 8:00 am and by noon he was still gone. I started to worry when he wasn’t back by 4:00 pm. I drove out in the pickup and saw that the grass had been cut all the way along the road to the on-ramp for the highway. I followed the grass-cutting trail—30 km (17 miles) later there was the kid on the side of the highway.

He had just kept cutting until his tractor ran out of diesel. I found him sitting there still clutching the wheel with a big smile listening to Pink Floyd. Guess he was on some really good stuff, but I still had to fire him.


49. Relax, It’s FedEx

I used to be a manager at a FedEx office and had recently been switched to work in a new location. It was 24 hours so it had to be staffed around the clock. I spent the first week or two trying to get in tune with the flow of things and noticed that all the night duties weren’t getting done.

I decided to dig a little deeper—and came to a shocking realization. I found out that every day, our main graveyard shift guy would spend his first two hours getting some of his work out of the way, then he would sit down at one of the computers and go online.

About an hour before the person who was opening got there, he would start doing some organizing and small tasks to make it look like he had done more than he really had. Anyway, the next day I watched him sit still for five of the eight hours on his shift on the security camera.

I then went further back and saw that he did that for most of the previous week. I then went in and checked the browser history: Reddit. I fired him the next day. He didn’t protest. He knew he was a terrible employee.


50. Caught In The Act

I used to do mechanical maintenance at a brewery in New Zealand while I was studying. Out of the blue, a chain on one of the conveyors kept coming off, and it was very difficult to put it back on.

When this happened, it usually meant that the packaging line needed to be shut down, and all the staff were sent home early with pay. We were at a loss as to what was causing the chain to keep coming off so we decided to set up a camera. That's when we learned the disturbing truth.

It turns out, an employee was jamming a metal pole between the chain and drive sprocket because he didn’t feel like working a full day. Too bad for him, he didn’t know about the camera and we got everything on tape.