I think everyone has gone through an explained paranormal experience, whether they realize it or not. I know I have--my dad died at a haunted hotel which was then featured on Ghost Adventures. Weird flex, but I couldn't not mention it in this article.
Anyway, whether or not you believe in the paranormal is up to you, but I'm pretty positive that every single person has questioned their beliefs on the matter at least once. Here are a few pretty wild examples of paranormal happenings, courtesy of our friends at Reddit.
First up, you can’t go wrong with haunted houses. They’re number one on the creepy list for sure.
You should’ve left the moment you saw clown paintings.
Camping at a friend's family property with a group of friends. They had a huge dingy shop full of old tools and old furniture that was super creepy. Dirt floor, clown paintings in the loft (not even kidding). We stayed up late drinking by the fire and I was the last one awake. Went to go pee on the side of the shop and stood about 5 feet away looking inside through the window.
There was a florescent light on and I noticed what looked like a piece of paper or dollar kind of floating around. I thought it was a moth at first but it was moving in a very flowing figure 8 pattern that was very rhythmic. It reminded me of dangling a carrot. I watched it for maybe 20 seconds, which felt like forever. Then it quickly floated back to the corner of the shop where it was dark. There was also a wood chair near the corner that added to the creepiness. Could have been a moth though.
I sat back down by the fire to finish my beer and have a smoke. No one else was awake so I played robot unicorn attack 2 on my phone for a while. I noticed my friend Mark pop out of his tent to pee, then go back in to go to sleep. I decided sleep sounded good, so I went to my tent and feel asleep.
The next morning, we were having breakfast and Mark said," I saw you guys sitting by the fire super late, how late did you stay up?" I told him I was probably 2 or 3 am. Then he said," who was up with you?" I told him I was the last man standing. He said," I got up to pee and saw you on your phone and 2 people over you're shoulder watching you play". He said one person looked bigger so he thought it was one of our friends, who was a bigger dude. He said the other person was taller and skinny, but none of us are noticeably tall, or skinny.
Freaked me OUT!! We still camp at that property once a year, but I don't go in the shop, and I go to sleep whenever my wife decides she's tired.
Sounds like someone is a skeptic....laugh lol GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants Giphy
My brother's bedroom was next door to mine growing up. One afternoon, he asked me what I was doing the previous night that made me laugh so much. Confused, I pressed him for details.
"About 3 am last night, your laughter woke me up. It sounded like you were pacing your room, too. Pacing and laughing."
At this point, I told him that I wasn't home last night. I'd been at a friend's house. He went pale.
To this day he swears blind that it was my laugh. I have a very distinct laugh, apparently.
As a New Englander, I can confirm that all the ghosts check you out.
Small but weird: I rented a room in a New England farmhouse, grad school. First night, about two in the morning, I had a very, very clear feeling I was being checked out by some sort of house spirits but they approved. I went back to sleep.
First time my girlfriend came over, she sat up in bed. I asked what's up, and it was almost word for word, something was checking her out but there was no threat. A few weeks later my brother came over, next morning, unprompted as he came downstairs he said he felt like something was checking him out at night but it was OK. A new housemate, later, said the same thing his first morning. None of them knew each other, it was weird.
TL;DR: four guests in an New England farmhouse said spirits checked them out the first night.
A lot of times, people can sense ghosts just by the energy of the space.
See, this is the real reason why we work from home.
I had just started a new job. The building I worked in was really old, definitely pre-war. I had to stay a bit later than I normally would to get something done, and by the time I was packing up to leave, my floor was pretty empty. I needed to use the restroom before I left, so I walked over there, and as I approached the door I saw someone else open the door and go in. I remember vividly that they were wearing a pink shirt and khakis, because that's what I was wearing, too. I was also mildly annoyed, because I don't like being in the bathroom when someone else is in there.
After deciding I still definitely needed to pee before the commute home, I entered the bathroom. But when I got in, it was completely empty. I don't know how to describe the energy in the room, but it was very tense. Completely silent. I remember being able to hear my heartbeat. After standing completely frozen for what felt like 10 minutes (it was probably like 15 seconds), I turned right around and left.
I had nightmares about that bathroom for weeks. It seems so simple and uninteresting compared to a lot of other peoples stories here, but it really shook me. There was something definitely off about the whole thing. Glad I work from home now!
Definitely LARPers.civil war reenactors GIF by South Park Giphy
I've got a few from my grandparents ranch, the original house was built in the early 1800s and the graveyard from the original family is still there.
When my family first bought the property the previous owners were still living there for a few weeks until they moved. My grandpa was out riding around and saw a guy from a distance dressed in slacks and a white shirt/suspenders, my grandpa assumed it was the previous owner so he drove up to say hi. As he got closer the guy walked behind a bush and seemingly disappeared into thin air. He told the previous owner about it and he asked "was he wearing a white shirt and suspenders?" Apparently they've seen him a lot wandering around in the evening, almost always where my grandpa saw him too.
A few months later when I first visited, me and my cousin were playing PS2 in the living room around midnight. There is a huge sliding glass door facing the backyard & barn. I notice two people walking around outside with what looks like rifles and civil war caps. It looked like they were marching almost, eventually they kept going into the darkness while me and my cousin were shitting ourselves in silence.
Nothing really happened for the next few years besides footsteps and weird feelings. I would hear super loud footsteps at night and assume it's someone walking into the kitchen, I got creeped out so if someone else was awake I would take that opportunity to go get food. When I realized no one else was awake I ran back into my room lmao.
Fast forward to when I lived there during college, I had my own little cabin down the road and it was really creepy, but cool. One night I had a friend over and we were up pretty late. We heard some footsteps on the gravel outside and then louder footsteps on the front porch. Then I saw a silhouette of someone through the window walking around. I jumped up to go make sure it wasn't some methhead but when I walked out front there was nobody there. And it's an open area so there would be no place for anyone to run or hide. Safe to say we didn't get any sleep that night.
That's about all the super creepy stories I have but plenty of your typical paranormal things have happened over the years. This was on the Devils Backbone in Texas btw, if you know the stories of that area you know it's a creepy ass place.
TLDR my families ranch is either haunted or civil war LARPers keep fucking with us
This is actually kind of sweet.
In 2012, my grandmother suffered a major stroke resulting in hospice in her home with her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren by her side. Friends and family were able to come by freely and spend time with her.
I was very close to my Grandma and was lucky to be able to share much of this time with her. For anyone that has ever been through hospice with a loved one, you will understand how hard this type of thing can be.
One night I was sitting at home in my office catching up on some work, when all of a sudden the room filled with the scent of perfume. I'm not talking about a faint smell, I'm saying it was very distinctive and strong throughout the entire room. I stopped everything I was doing and said out loud (to myself) "Something is wrong, that is Gram!" I had not spoken to my family that day, but felt an urgent need to send a text message to my uncle (whom was staying with her) to ask "you guys ok?" This was at 11:20PM. I got a response right away saying "might want to come say goodbye. Not ok." I quickly rushed over.
Upon arrival, the living room where my family was congregated was very silent filled with blank faces. Without saying anything I walked straight to my grandmother and kissed her on the forehead, saying I love her. She was still warm ... but no longer breathing.
I told my uncle that I was there because Grandma had brought me there. I asked when she passed and he replied saying 5 minutes before I sent my text. This puts the perfume in my office at nearly the exact same moment.
Now, I'm going to say that I was born into an Irish Catholic family, but I am in no way a religious person. I would have been the first person to discount this type of story if you told it to me. But, I must say, this experience had me thinking that there really is something more out there.
I felt it.
Confirmed: babies can see ghosts.
Back in 2001 there was a show called The Amazing Race, and my then wife and I were watching the first ever episode. While my son played on the floor. As the episode ended I thought to myself that my mom would have loved this. (My mom had passed away about a year earlier.) As soon as I had that thought, a cold chill ran up through my body starting at my feet and up through my head.
At the same time my wife said "this is something you and your mom would have done, and probably won." We both laughed partly because we both had similar thoughts and partly because it was a sad reminder that she was gone.
Right then my son, who was about a year and a half old started waving at the ceiling saying bye and bye-bye. He often talked to the "ceiling" and would stop playing and sit and look up at it, so we started asking who was there and what were they saying, just kind of playing along with his game. He wasn't saying real words yet but we wanted to encourage talking so we'd listen and ask questions that he'd "answer".
This time when he started saying bye-bye we asked who was there and where were they going, just kind of normal play-along stuff and he was saying something that the closest I can spell of what it sounded like was annel or anyul. "Ok tell anyul to be safe."
A few months later I had out an old photo album and was laying on the floor looking through it. My son came "walking" over saying hi hi and laughing . I said hi back but he wasn't talking to me. He started chatting with a picture in the album and was waving and "talking" to it. The picture was my moms official graduation picture from nursing school. He had first met my mom when he was six months old and only a couple of times between then and when she passed, but he was carrying on a conversation with the picture.
I asked him "Do you know who that is? Who is that?" He put his finger right in the middle of the picture and said "Anyul... ANYUL!" and started laughing and talking to her again. He knew what angels were... is that what he was saying? I don't know.
You ever meet a mean ghost? How about a ghost that’s just plain petty?
It was HIS room.angry get out GIF Giphy
When I was young, I lived in a broken town called Uniondale, in the outbacks of the Karoo in South Africa.
The house I lived in had several long corridors.
One day, I went to my room to play with my toys, and when I walked in, this random guy was just sitting on a chair in my room, he told me to get out, and he told me that this was his room.
So I ran to my mother and told her about it, but when she stormed into my room, the man was gone.
Fast forward a few months, I was in the kitchen baking a cake with my mom, when several potatoes literally rolled into the kitchen from the corridor. No joke, they rolled into the room as if they had their very own momentum, but my mother and I were the only ones in the house at the time.
Fast forward a few more months, my gran came to visit.
After a few days of staying, she ran into the living room telling us she saw a guy walking down our corridor, she described him, and I noted that her description fit the guy that was in my room.
We moved out not long after.
Can confirm, this is the best way to get rid of ghosts.
My mom has tons. But I'll just tell one that makes me laugh.
We lived in a pretty haunted house. Many people heard/felt stuff. Actually the first 3 houses on our street were haunted but that's another story.
Anyway, my brother and I were gone to our fathers for the weekend and my mom was watching Jerry springer in the living room. She hears the tap in the upstairs bathroom turn on and after dealing with this sh!t for years at this point, she just yells "you can turn the water off cause you're not f*cking scaring me!".
Water shuts off. Haha
I don't know how she stayed alone in that house but I laugh at the thought of my mom telling the ghost to knock it off. Lol
Ok, this ghost definitely had a bone to pick.
We lived in a haunted house and my friend and I both 12 year olds at the time. We were playing in our living and in the coffee table stood an artificial plant. I set my soda down and all I see is drips of what I assumed to be blood coming from this plant. I immediately ran to tell my mom and to not scare us she told me that it was paint.
A priest came and a couple of her friends to see the plant. My mom was hysterically crying and the guy grabbed the vase and looked inside the vase only to find ripped up pics of me and my sister covered in blood. No one lived with us so this was unexplainable. Also, my mother would wake up early for work and see a woman in a white gown go to our room and disappear when she followed.
Honestly, my best advice if you experience a ghost sighting is to just treat them like human beings. Don't be scared of them, just let them do their thing. And if they start to bug you, then smoke cleansing is your friend (just don't use white sage- it's endangered).
Or you can just tell them to f**k off. That works too. Either way, paranormal experiences are bound to happen. Brace yourself for these experiences- they'll surprise you.
The finite nature of a hotel stay can lead guests to behave in ways they wouldn't normally. And where there is saucy behavior, there are the artifacts left behind.
And who is there to pick up those pieces on the following morning? The hotel staff--cleaners, maintenance people, technicians, even managers when things get unruly enough.
Some Redditors who've occupied those positions recently shared the wildest things ever left behind by guests.
Some were gross, some exciting, and some just downright puzzling.
MichaelJCaboose_ asked, "Hotel cleaners of Reddit, what's your most memorable find left behind by a guest?"
Many people chose to share the times they came upon the disgusting remnants of an uninhibited night before. The guests responsible left a collage of artifacts that looked more like a still-life picture of hedonism than a living quarters.
"Three empty bottles of wine, about two dozen cherry pits scattered all over the floor and under the furniture, and red-colored puke all over the bedspread."
"There was only one guy staying in the room."
The Consequences of Fame
"Found a human poo in the kettle once. Worse part was it was a 'celebrity' (crappy uk reality show) doing a guest appearance at a local club."
"Him and his mates filled the rooms iPad with di** pics too. Hotel got rid of the iPads shortly after that."
No Closet Is Too Nice
"Friend worked a 5-star hotel and found a turd in the closet." -- Boganvillia
"That's not a very nice thing to call your guest, but as someone that worked in customer service, I agree. They are turds." -- theassassintherapist
"Closet poopers are what happens to shy poopers if they don't face their poop anxiety." -- Stunning_Honeydew201
"I do maintenance. Had a group of part time housekeepers that are mentally handicapped working with their job coach go into a suite with adjoining door. There were 3 construction workers staying, 2 and their supervisor."
"In the one side with a pull out couch and DVD player, they found a full size blow up doll, empty small bottles of lube, used condoms, several beer bottles, and a stack of porn on DVD. Doll was on the pull out couch and everything else was all over the bed."
Other former cleaners described the times they came to a vacant room to find some very unexpected objects. These weren't as gross as the previous examples.
But the mysteries of what exactly the guests did with these items are still unsolved.
Steer Clear of Gadgets
"Almost tazed myself with a 'tube of lipstick' that I found under the bed." -- Naprisun
"insert lipstick taser gif here" -- georgiomoorlord
"so nobody's talking about this person using hotel bed lipstick" -- ST4R3
Back on the Road
"My friend's family owns a motel. He tells me they once found an auto transmission in the bathtub of a room." -- smorkoid
"Yup, I've heard of this before. You go to the town on a bachelor party, take a pill and then wake up and your transmission is in the bathtub full of ice and 3rd gear was removed" -- cavegoatlove
Making it Cozy
"I worked as a hotel cleaner during undergrad."
"My first day of work someone left a hatchet in the bathtub."
"Also, someone completely decorated the room with framed family pictures.. and left them all there. I think their stay was only 2 days. They set some up on the furniture.. but also legit hung some on the walls."
Finally, some people shared about the times they were pleasantly surprised to find that guests left behind some really nice stuff.
And, of course, finders keepers was in full swing.
"I worked for a hotel that had cabins, so I would be in and out all day in the hot sun. On one of those hot days I opened the fridge to find an unopened bottle of Dr. Pepper in the freezer part.. it was perfectly slushed."
"It made my day. This was years ago, too!"
As If They Knew
"A whole box of magnum ice creams. My fave!" -- nightcana
"If this was in Melbourne, you're welcome. I bought them but got invited out. Checked out the next day and left them in the freezer and I couldn't stand the thought of putting them in the bin." -- hemansteve
"My partner gets apartments ready for the next people renting them out after leases are up, they've found so, so many bdsm toys. One of which (a flogger) is my cats favorite toy over all others now including her very expensive cat toys hahaha"
It's a fun idea to think back on all your hotel stays and recall anything you've left behind over the years.
And then, depending on what exactly it was, you can imagine what the other side of that story turned out to be.
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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.
Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.
Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.
Was it worth it?peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy
He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.
> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'
> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended
> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended
> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended
Uhhh what was the intention here?
He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.
Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.
At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."
So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.
I hope there was no overlap in the columns.Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy
She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.
2 separate lists or just the 1?
Same list 2 columns lol.
Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.
This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.
Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.
Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.
Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.
A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.
Every school had the cat girl.cat dragging GIF Giphy
The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.
Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.
Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.
I was exactly this kind of weird.
He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.
The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.
I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man
It's fair to say that just because you're a parent doesn't mean you have the abilities to properly teach.
These are not those parents. These parents think making their child suffer is the way to go.
Reddit user, u/MynameMB, wanted to hear about what misguided parenting looks like when they asked:
Let's Get The People Who Take This All A Bit Too Literally Out Of The Way...
...because seriously, don't throw your kids into a pool if they don't know how to swim.
Don't ACTUALLY Make Them Sink Or Swim!
I actually used to be a swim teacher in college teaching private lessons in people's backyards because of parents who had thrown their kids into the pool to sink or swim. It was usually Mom's calling me for help because they heard from a friend of a friend that I was able to teach their kid and get them to like the water again in about a month or less. One kid, he was 7, I had to sit with him on the pool deck the whole first lesson and bring buckets of water to him, his Dad had dunked him multiple times and insisted that his son would just figure it out eventually because "that's how he learned."
Needless to say he was never home when I was there. The Mom had me come while Dad was at work. Four weeks later she had me come later in the afternoon so he would come home towards the end of the lesson. His Dad saw his son swimming and cried happy tears. He had no idea I had been there three days a week for a month. My favorite student was a 70 year old man who wanted to do a triathlon but never learned to swim because his Dad threw him in as a child. It took about 3 months total, a lot of hand holding on the steps and shallow end, but he finally achieved his goal and I got to cheer him on at the finish line. I still remember how each of my students clung to my arms and clawed at my neck in their first lessons.
I never dunked or forced anyone out of their comfort zone. My lessons had to be customized for each student to keep it fun and relaxing. The trauma in their eyes was haunting though.
Skills That Are Probably Best Taught Instead Of Unsympathetically Learned
There are lots of time when parents think they're teaching their child some valuable life lesson. Skills or knowledge that could be passed down for generations to come, as if they're brilliant teachers instructing for the first time. Upon further look, some of these could probably be fixed in a day with some talking.
Could You Even Do This One By Yourself?
they didn't want to teach me to tie my shoes, because my mum said "I had to learn that myself, so should you!"
How Could You Know?
'Just walk it off!'
My dad, when I developed a big nasty cyst on my toe when my mom was away on a stressful trip. She was not pleased to come back and have to immediately drive me to the hospital. It got to the point where I took one step on it and almost passed out.
He apologized afterward. Got a sandwich from a really good sandwich place and I forgave him. Now I laugh about it.
Well, That's Just Bad Luck
I was always a picky eater growing up. One time my mom sat me down with a small bowl of almonds and told me I couldn't get up out of my seat until I finished it. I insisted that I hated them and they were making my mouth itch, she thought I was just being difficult. I just started to swallow the almonds like pills because my mouth was so itchy from chewing on them.
A couple years later I saw and allergist and discovered I was allergic to tree nuts.CosmonautCaveman
My younger cousin (4 at the time) was a climber and always needed help getting down. His dad told his mom to leave him. He'll either learn how to get down himself or stop climbing. Cousin ended up climbing onto the roof, fell off and got impaled on a fence pole. One very expensive trip to the er and he now has a cool scar on his thigh.
When Your Livelihood And Futures Are Literally On The Line
Every parent can look at their "sink or swim" approach as a form of preparation. Giving your child a small taste of what the future might hold for them. However, in these last few instances, you could argue the parent went a bit too far in one direction, actually showing them a full sampling of how terrible the world can be.
You Should Have Started Saving Yesterday
2 days after I graduated high school I came home to an empty house, all my stuff in a Uhaul because my mom and stepdad moved without me. I have been financially independent ever since, but a heads up would've been nice.
My real dad was not involved in this situation he was on the other side of the country. I am still close with him but he is very low income so he could not help me in this. I went no contact with my mom for about a year but she weaseled her was back in. I think I see her in person once every 2 years and I do not acknowledge my stepfather exists. I have been considering going no contact with my mom again recently
Learning To Drive
My step dad would get hammered and make me drive him home. I was 14 and couldn't drive stick and he was like you'll figure it out. This happened Maybe 3 times.
Okay, Maybe Help Your Child?
7 years old. Had an asthma attack at our camp in the middle of the night. At that time, treatment for an attack was a nebulizer machine that required electricity, which we didn't have at our camp. My parents kept telling me that I just had to calm down and breathe better so the attack would go away on its own. They only intervened hours later because they couldn't sleep because of all the noise I was making as I choked and gasped for air. We drove 3 hours back to our house, passing multiple hospitals along the way because they were embarrassed that I was in such bad shape and blamed me for just not breathing properly. Fun times.
Take it easy on your kid.
Remember. They're just a kid. Most of the world is new to them, and the don't possess all the abilities to handle it, so it's up to you to teach them, and not always let them struggle to the point of death.
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Belly up to the bar folks, 'cause there are some wild tales to be told as you sip your sarsaparilla.
Those who work behind bars meet people from all walks of life and hear a variety of unusual anecdotes.
I never worked as a bartender, but I know they get an earful from babbling patrons who have had one too many to drink.
Curious to hear about the wild life stories shared at bars, Reddit xXSlimi_Gacha009 asked:
"Bartenders of reddit, what was the weirdest/craziest thing you have overheard while making someone's drink?"
Patrons say the darnedest things.
"The first restaurant/bar i worked in I was only serving but I frequently was in the section right next to the bar. One day I was busy serving a large group, but the restaurant was mostly empty and a guy behind me at the bar said 'you wanna pet my parrot?' my initial reaction was the same as if a stranger had just come up behind me and touched my shoulders but when I turned around... It really was a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrots name was Bobby and yes both me and the bartender pet him 😂"
"I was tending bar during an extremely busy happy hour. The place was mobbed and super noisy. Suddenly, a guy sitting at the bar stands up and announces 'Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, I represent the Acme meat company and we carry a full line of high quality...'. The entire bar goes silent while he continues to do his sales pitch at full volume. For some reason he decided that this was a great time and place to hustle up some business. My manager sprinted over to him and told him knock it off and that kind of thing wasn't allowed in here. So he sat down and resumed drinking."
Favorite A**hole Bartender
"Regular of mine who I hadn't seen in awhile was sitting at the bar when I came in for a shift change."
"I came in the back way and noticed he had crutches leaning against the bar."
"Recently in the news someone hadn't had their shotgun properly secured in their truck and it went off..."
"So I jokingly say, 'you're that f'king idiot who blew off his leg arent you?'"
"The whole bar gets quiet and everyone is mean mugging me."
"My regular starts laughing..."
"Yeah, it was him. I had no idea. I didn't apologize, because as his favorite a**hole bartender those comments were expected of me."
"Poor guy was only 20 couple and blew his leg off close to the hip. No idea how he survived."
"I was a bartender for about two weeks (filling in for a relative who owned a bar and went on his honeymoon)."
"I heard a guy talking to a woman about murdering her husband. I called the cops, but these patrons were gone before they showed up. This was before cameras, so I just gave my story and that was it."
"Not long after, my uncle calls me saying the cops are looking for me. They interview me about the couple. Apparently, the guy was a hitman for hire and the woman was trying to get some insurance money. She got busted."
"It was actually an episode of 'Forensic Files' back when that was on TV. I remember watching the episode and they said something like 'the couple was overheard discussing the murder in a bar.' I was kind of upset that they didn't mention me. Lol. I was hoping for, 'The awesome bartender overheard them, but couldn't really tell us much. He also pointed at the male in the photo lineup and asked 'Is this him?' as if he was unsure. What a f"king dope.'"
"Edit 1: I spent half of the day reading the descriptions of every episode that's streaming on Netflix and watching the ones that seemed relevant. I didn't figure it out and I'm sorry, but I just don't know which episode it was. I recorded it on a VHS tape years ago, but don't know where that is either. I'm moving, so if I come across it, I'll edit this and let everyone know which one it was."
"Edit 2: As I recall, the hitman wasn't a professional by any means. I think the episode said he was just a local junkie who'd pretty much do anything for his next fix."
The following conversations were undoubtedly head-turners.
"From a woman to her friend, 'I don't know about you but I just can't poop in a pink bathroom.'"
"Someone was boasting about his 'Very small penis! VERY TINY! LIKE MICRO!' he proceeds to lower his pants and show it to his friend 🤷♀️"
Passions are inflamed where alcohol is in the mix.
Ferris Wheel Payment
"A married couple in their fifties arguing how they were going to explain the fact they couldn't pay the remainder of the 3 million euro bill for a Ferris wheel they'd ordered 18 months ago, already put a million deposit on, and who's collection was due at 8am the following morning."
"Man and woman is sitting at the bar. She starts crying and says 'I just want us to have something special'. The guy looked her dead in the eyes and said 'we do have something special, we have sex. We are both married'. 10 minutes later they are making out and she's rubbing him over his pants. I loved slow Wednesdays."
I'm a cheap date.
So whenever I'm halfway through my first – and usually ONLY – glass of cab sav at a bar, I know I'm talking in a stream of consciousness and volunteering embarrassing personal information.
Once, I confided to all the patrons and staff at a bar in Barcelona, France, about my embarrassing college experience. And I apparently gave a wild performance when the DJ played Prince's "Kiss."
I'm still searching this subReddit to see if any of the comments might be referring to me.