Having kids is expensive, a ton of responsibility, and something that not everyone is cut out for - but it seems to be something we're all just socially expected to do.
In recent years, there has been a growing trend of people who are consciously choosing to forego children. One Reddit user asked why, and launched a thread full of all sorts of humorous, heartbreaking, and honest responses.
Not Passing This Onjoan crawford mom GIF by IFC Giphy
I have bipolar, bipolar is a c*nt to deal with. I don't want to pass it onto anyone. My bipolar has caused a lot of heart ache and made issues 10x worse. And I've hurt a lot of people because of my episodes.
Also OCD; and OCD is a c*nt as well.
Peoples perception of it is just being anal about cleaning. But they don't know the dark side of OCD where you think hurting people because something little interrupted the habit.
I wish more people understood how debilitating OCD is. My uncle would wash his hands until they bled and he struggled to leave his home most days because the outside chaos distressed him so deeply. If you personally have it then I'm very sorry and I hope you're getting support for it, I'm not sure what aid is actually out there
I'm in my mid-40s, and have known I didn't want children since I was a child myself. I have many reasons why not:
- Too much responsibility. We have a dog and that's already pushing it for us, to be honest. I can barely summon enough desire and energy to walk the dog daily, can't even imagine what it must be like with kids.
- Pregnancy and labor seems utterly horrific to me. No thanks.
- I like money and having the free time to enjoy it, especially in regards to travel.
- Both my husband and I have mental and physical health issues we wouldn't want to pass on.
- Personally, I think bringing a kid into this sh*tty world right now is a pretty horrible thing to do. Climate change (and a whole lot of other issues) are about to f*ck our shit up HARD - why would you bring a kid into that??
- If I'm really honest, I just really don't like kids. Especially under the age of 10 or so. Why the f*ck would I sign up for that kind of burden? I have many, many nieces/nephews who I can enjoy in small doses, and then send back to their parents.
I've been told over the years that I would change my mind. Nope. I get all the usual crap like, "Who will take care of you when you're old??" (Answer - my money that I've saved by not having kids will) or "Not having kids is so selfish!" (Riiight...and having them isn't??)
Anyway, to anyone reading this - make the right decision for you. Don't feel you have to follow life script of marriage -> house -> kids. I'm extremely happy and have zero regrets.
The Risks And Sacrifies
I like having free time and space to myself, but the primary reason is that pregnancy and birth is awful (and I have a pain phobia). Also I have serious concerns about the impact on my mental health
Yep, I was on the fence until I learned about post-partum psychosis. It bothers me how much people, especially mothers, downplay the physical risks and sacrifices. It's not for everyone.
As a mother of two, I too am bothered by that. I made it my mission to always be brutally honest about what it's like because it's not easy. Not even a little.
Pregnancy is hard, child birth is hard. Sleep deprivation is hard. Having your hormones swing like a metronome on speed... is the hardest thing I've ever gone through.
Your body is literally convincing you of things that aren't real or true, and then making you feel crazy for basically just existing. We need to stop going on and on about how magical it all is like we're trying to sell it to people. Trust me, those that decide to have kids will get it.
It is true that the magical moments make everything feel worth it, but they don't erase the hard moments. You don't forget. Pregnancy and birth trauma are real. Postpartum depression is real and neither should be taken lightly simply because having babies is so "magical".
If you don't want them, don't have them. There's enough of us that do want them. You're not selfish, you're making a decision for YOUR life.
I Don't Like Sharing
I don't have the maternal qualities to be a good mother. I'm impatient, hotheaded, selfish, and my mental health isn't in the best shape. I don't want to unknowingly treat my child the way my mother treated me.
I also prefer to save my money, build my wealth, go on trips, sleep in in the mornings, and party. I don't like sharing, not even my money, which is why my partner and I have separate bank accounts and it will stay that way if we ever get married.
I also would just like being able to go to the bathroom without a kid trying to break in.
Cause I'd Have To Be Pregnant FirstBaby Belly GIF Giphy
I don't necessarily have a phobia of being pregnant, but people I know and love being pregnant makes me weirdly uncomfortable? Like I'm totally fine with meeting a random pregnant woman, but when my friend was pregnant it just felt really off. My mum once made a joke about being pregnant (I'm the youngest so I've never known her pregnant) after eating too much, and I felt kind of sick. It's odd...
The idea of pregnancy also weirds me out. For me a lot of it is the idea of losing my autonomy and that as a woman I'm expected to love babies. I just don't. I also find it uncomfortable to discuss pregnancy - some people treat it like it's an elitist group and give waaaaay too much detail about bodily functions.
I so agree about the losing your autonomy part, that prevents me from ever wanting to get pregnant more than the physical aspects of pregnancy themselves. You suddenly can't do activities you love, you can't eat certain things, you can't drink certain things, you can't take medicine of you have a headache, apparently you can't even take hot baths. To me it sounds like stripping away everything that makes life fun, and any decisions away from me about my own body. To stop existing as a person and functioning as an incubator instead.
Plus every time someone I know announces they're pregnant, that's all anyone ever asks them about. They walk into a room and the first thing asked is "how's BABY?" Any time one of my friends is pregnant I try to ask them only about how their life is and don't bring up the pregnancy unless they do. They (usually) still have a personality outside of just being pregnant.
A pregnant friend told me it felt like her baby was CLAWING at her rib cage and I've never been able to get that image out of my head
Because They Were Wanted
Complete lack of interest. I feel the same way about children that I do about most dogs. Yeah, dogs are great. But if you tried to offer me a dog, even if it was free, I would probably say thanks, but no thanks.
That would be a very bad attitude for a parent to have towards their child. Children should be had because they were wanted.
Also, raging alcoholism.
This is mine. I could go on about my temperament or my lifestyle or my medical history, but at the end of the day, those factors wouldn't stop me if I really wanted a kid. But I don't. I fundamentally believe that kids deserve to be wanted and welcomed, and if they aren't, don't have them.
I Cannot Put A Child Through That
I grew up with severe depression, an anxiety disorder, and ADHD. The majority of my parents and grandparents are alcoholics and/or addicts. One of my parents was so mentally ill they lost custody. It was rough.
My SO also has severe ADHD and obsessive compulsive anxiety. Me and my SO both struggled with substance abuse as teenagers. I spent a long time in mental hospitals.
I hated being alive and felt completely helpless. No therapist or doctor or pill ever helped. The only reason I pulled through is because I met my SO.
If I had a child who felt the same way I did, and I knew I couldn't help them and they would just ignore me the way I ignored my mother as a kid, it would break my heart.
I cannot put a child through that.
You Should Be Asking The Other Side
Because I have no desire to have a child. Why do something I have no desire to do?
If more people thought about why they actually want to have a child there would be fewer cases of child abuse and neglect.
You should be asking why people who have children decided to. Too many times the answer is, "it just happened"
Which no, it didn't. When you have sexual intercourse and the sperm meets the ovum you get pregnant. You aren't the next Mary. It didn't "just happen."
Or you hear "it's what you do" / "it's the next step". Why? This is literally another life you're being so flippant about.
Not Testing This Out
I truly think I'm no fit for a parent, I can barely even take care of myself.
Also every time I have had dreams about being pregnant or having a baby, in my dreams it always resulted into me trying to kill either myself and/or the baby, because I was terrified, I didn't want it, I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of it etc.
There's no way I'm going to test it out and see what would happen in real life if I actually were to have children.
Because it's not at all easy and affordable.
I have seen my father working so hard and extra hours, taking uncountable loans to pay for my college fees just for their child to turn out incredibly stupid. I have seen my mother work countless hours in the kitchen and spend all day making meals for us, doing household chores with literally zero rest and sleep.
I hope one day I will be able to repay them.
Honestly, there are so many more cons than pros that I think the question should be reversed.
I see parents saying "if I knew better..." all the time!!! And I got the impression that a lot more don't say it just because it's wrong to think about it.
You should be 110% sure that you want kids and KNOW that you will have to compromise large aspects of your life and be ok with it. Or be filthy rich and have other people take care of your kid for you.
There are so many reasons, but the top contenders are as follows:
- My husband and I both enjoy free time and disposable income and aren't willing to compromise either
- I've never felt maternal towards children or babies (I didn't even like playing with baby dolls as a little girl) and don't enjoy spending time with them
- I'm immunocompromised and having a kid go to school, pick up whatever illness is going around, and bring it home just sounds miserable
- I have several chronic illnesses and health issues that I don't want to pass on
- Life is full of pain and suffering, and ethically I can't imagine dooming another human being to this existence
My husband was kind enough to get a vasectomy so our childfree future is secured :)
When it's your own
Grew up with my mother saying "I never liked children but it's different when it's your own" but I never felt loved... Yeah, it's not really different when it's your own. Parents really should at least like children. And I never liked children, even when I was a child, much-preferred adults generally. Still do.
Carrying abusive baggage would have made me a not very good parent, and I did not want to pass that on to a child. There is no excuse for being unkind to a child.
I've said this since I was probably 16: "I love my future kids too much to actually have them."
I just really have no interest in having kids and definitely don't have the resources, including money, physical stamina, and emotional fortitude.
I think way too many people have kids because it's just what they think the next step in life is supposed to be without actually thinking about what life will be like for the kid they're creating. You always hear about people making sure they have the money to take care of a kid, but it's really rare to hear somebody ask themselves if they have the emotional maturity to create another human. It's kind of a big deal.
I enjoy my free life. I am a woman and feel whole and happy without the need of making human beings. I never wanted to have kids. I remember as a teenager, people (adults women) would tell me the classic "you'll see, it will come on you like you can't control it, you will have children, so you can feel like a real woman" 😂. Even 7 years ago, I kept hearing this.
I'm 40 years old in few days, I live a happy life, still without kids, and I meet more and more women who have made this conscious choice, and are also enjoying their lives.
I have a good job, building businesses, have money, travel, I'm physically fit and loving my body, hangout with friends, have weekends out, all my time for myself and my relationship. My man is same as me, we only want a puppy. We don't think having kids should be a purpose in life, a compulsory thing, or even something that makes you feel "complete".
For me, my purpose is to be happy, healthy, make other happy too (I do a lot of charity and work for a NGO too, some even involve kids).
I'm not having my own children but I'd like to foster some kids. There are so many kids with no home. It would be selfish to have my own child just because foster kids have so much baggage. I want to give those teens a chance to have a better life.
Let me preface this with: I acknowledge that I am a selfish person.
I value my hobbies, free time, money, sleep, and quiet entirely too much. I hear kids screaming/crying in public and I just absolutely cringe and become riddled with second-hand embarrassment.
It's just not for me.
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Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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