There are just some truths about life we need to stop running from. Everyone tiptoes around certain topics and people when we should be exposing secrets and lies. More often than not harboring secrets just leads to more secrets and hinderance. Life is not always on our side and most of the people we know.... are going to disappoint us and chocolate is fattening. Take a deep breath and start there....
Redditor u/Mark_Ps2 wanted to see who was wiling to share some truths about the everyday that often are kept hidden by asking.... (SERIOUS) What are some dark secrets about regular life that people should know?Enemies
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Your workplace is not your friend.
The employee who dishes with you about all the other employees most likely talks about you to other people too. So watch what you say to that person. Bonding over disliked coworkers can cause you to let your guard down.
What We Get
You don't get what you deserve.
Someone once said to me, "You get what you get, and what you get will never be what you deserve." It was after I had just done some good then got crap on for it, but I realized years later he was talking about malicious attitudes never getting their comeuppance.
Fragility...
Friendships are fragile. Most have a convenience factor (go to school together; work together; live near each other) and once that's gone the friendship becomes much less important.
As you age, work, family, and spouses demand more of your time and there's less left for friends. It doesn't mean you care less but without effort you'll lose those friendships. Often one half of the friendship is more willing to put the work in than the other, and that can sustain the relationship or lead to bitterness.
The Cells
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Cancerous cells form in your body on a regular basis, but your immune system recognizes the cancerous cells and kills them... usually.
Along the way....
You can be going along, enjoying your life thinking you've got it all figured out, and boom, in a matter of minutes it can all go to hell, and everything you believed to be true, and the future you imagined for yourself will be gone. And just because you do everything right, doesn't necessarily mean you get what you want.
Evil among us....
I ran a non-profit for a while and thought that the non-profit community would be pretty great, because aren't we all trying to do good things? OOF. The Non-profit world is home to some of the most ruthless and cold-hearted savages I've ever come across.
Particularly when it comes to competing for funding, there are no friends among non-profits and charities.
Never the Same
People change. You never really know them. They can be in your life for 20, 30, 40 years and out of nowhere blindside you. So learn to be happy on your own. Live and love of course, but do not allow anyone or any few people to define your happiness.
It's alright to give people the power to hurt you by loving and trusting them, but never give so much of yourself away that their very presence in your life defines you and you cannot live without them. That leads to you either accepting sh!tty behavior to keep them around or it leads to crippling depression if they leave. Own your own happiness.
Good. Not Great.
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Being a good employee at work and having an agreeable, friendly personality will get you further than being a great employee with a poor personality.
The Power!
I got involved in community activism (I'm keeping it vague here) and pretty much everyone involved higher up is a power-hungry monster. Competitive with each other, not just for funding but for clout and popularity with the public.
Also it was amazing how many people were willing to sell out the cause/their beliefs for money. Lifetime community organizers making a living by taking funding from the most unethical sources imaginable.
If you ever meet someone that's spent years dedicated to a charitable or humanitarian cause, then you've probably met an @sshole. The exceptions are the genuinely kind volunteers who are relatively new. They last about 2 years, 3 if they're tough. But they eventually see the people running the show for the monsters that they are, and leave, completely disillusioned.
The Death Racket
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The funeral industry is just like the wedding industry.
The funeral industry is an absolute racket. They hose people experiencing deep and unrelenting grief by subtly guilting them that if they don't spend more money, they didn't truly care about their deceased loved one.
When my friend passed away at 23, his family - who had a lot of money and not a lot of healthy coping skills - ended up spending an exorbitant amount on his funeral. They got upsold on a casket that cost thousands (which was only for the viewing), jewelry made of his ashes, weird art made of his handprints... They easily spent as much as a wedding. It was grotesque watching the way they got rinsed because they were mourning and didn't have the emotional fortitude to consider what was happening in the moment.
That Magic Moment
You are never done growing, or shouldn't be anyway. When I was younger I thought growing up was a thing that happened, then you are a fully complete adult. Nope. You never stop figuring it out, learning and growing.
The thing you realize as you get older is that there is no moment when you are an adult. I still feel like the same person I did in my 20's. Yes, I know more about things and have more experience but the person inside is the same.
It's something I try and explain to people younger than me when ever it comes up. Like, there is no magic moment, you're just the same but older.
the "nice" ones
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Bullies are not just in middle school. They are everywhere.
A lot of them are also 'the nicest people ever', who would NEVER do anything awful to anyone. My case for a while now. It doesn't matter what terrible things they do, every lie they tell is true.
The Unfixable
There are some people you just can't save, and who will drag you down with them if you let them.
Whether it's addiction, excessive anger, constant negativity, or just never-ending chaos, if they're an adult, you have no obligation to "fix" it for them, and you can't anyway, until they become ready to fix it for themselves.
Priorities
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I hit a smallish lottery (~few mill) a little while back and told absolutely no one, family and friends included. I took a bunch of steps to secure my kids futures and we live a very comfortable but not lavish life. I'm pretty generous with the people around me, I think that they just think I'm doing very well career wise (or something illegal under the table).
I justify it by thinking that if this was general knowledge amongst friends and family it would ruin relationships. My priority needed to be my kids.
Mush
When you get diagnosed with alzheimer's, your brain is already mostly mush.
The disease has been ravaging your brain for at least 20 years before you started noticing it. You also probably exhibited symptoms for the past 5-10 years but they were super mild and no one, including you, paid attention. One of those early symptoms can be mood swings, depression... and the loss of the sense of smell.
There is no hope left for you at that point. The main research against Alzheimer's or any neurodegenerative disease is to act years before the first symptoms, when your brain still is relatively healthy. You showing symptoms mean that your brain cannot compensate for the degeneration and it will go downward from now.
Pose
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The celebrities that you crave to emulate, get a lot of the stuff for free. They are just breathing billboards. Stop putting yourself in to debt for them, at the end of the day, just like money, you can't take it with you.
Everyday
You can do everything right and still die on your way to work. My husband died 2 years ago on his drive to work because someone made an illegal turn. People die every day in auto accidents. You can die when you leave your house and its so easy that its scary sometimes.
The Undeserving....
Even though you are by far the most qualified candidate for a job or a promotion... they can give it someone undeserving and there's nothing you can do about it. Nepotism (I gave the job to my son), friendships, inability to recognize talent... you at some point may likely face this and it sucks.
Alone
Nobody said being an adult would be this lonely. Im a 26 year old female, relatively attractive, sociable and I take pride in how kind I am. But it doesn't matter. People are busy and making the friendship connection is so much harder as an adult than it was growing up. (And it was freaking hard growing up lol)
I have about 3 friends total I can go to for anything. On the up side, my familial relations have improved greatly as an adult. We were broken growing up but now are all in a good place in life and with each other.
Live Alone
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Deciding to be roommates with your best friend is dangerous. I've known people who have stopped speaking to their best friend because the small things build up. Some people luck out and it turns out fine, but most of the time it doesn't.
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Curious to hear about some of the more creepy indiscretions people get away with, Redditor Flytechofficial asked:
"What is perfectly legal, but creepy as hell?"
These things that happen in public restrooms can be considered criminal.
Respecting Splash Zones
"Using the urinal next to me when there were plenty of other choices."
Nightmare For The Pee-Shy
"hanging out in a public bathroom timing how long people pee."
Bad Timing
"I swear to God. I did a lot of work in hospitals for a while, big f'king hospitals with tons of bathrooms all over the place. For some God damned reason, regardless of what time or bathroom I selected to take a sh*t in not 30 seconds after I sat down a janitor would knock on the door to clean the bathroom. It's not as if it was one janitor, just some random janitor would inevitably need to clean whatever bathroom I was in as soon as I got comfy. It's like I was being stalked by the janitors."
"So now I'm trying to take a sh*t knowing full well there's somebody out there actively timing how long it takes."
Looky-Loo
"I was drunk in a casino and went to use the washroom. The floors in there were a polished marble or something. Sitting on the toilet, pants down, my stall neighbour made eye contact with me on the reflective floor tile."
The following examples involving minors have no legal repercussions.
Outside Watchers
"Technically, you can stand on the sidewalk and stare into someone's house through a window. It's not illegal as long as you stay off of their property, but it's really freaking creepy."
Keeping Tabs On Someone's Age
"A national newspaper having a countdown for when a child actress becomes 'legal' for sex."
"Answers to questions that will surely come. ....Yes. The Sun (UK). Emma Watson."
– pdirth
The Young Subjects
"When I was a child, we had a creepy horrible neighbor that would harass my family constantly. One of the things he did was stand at the corner of his yard and videotape me playing in a pool with my friends (we were around 8). My parents called the police but were told that it's legal if he's on his property."
These perfectly harmless examples can give you goosebumps.
Macabre
"Hanging your doll collection from the trees in your yard using string made from human hair."
People's Taste
"I believe the act of cannibalism itself is legal so long as you didn't murder anyone to do it. If your homie gives you his arm to gnaw on, it's fair game."
I recently treated myself by going to a movie theater after what seemed like a long hiatus for much of the year.
Streaming blockbuster movies from home, while convenient, has never made as much of an impact when compared to the moviegoing experience.
But after my recent trip to our local AMC, I'm beginning to think watching entertainment from the comfort of my quiet home is a much better option.
I forgot that a good majority of audience members are disrespectful and pretty much ignore all the rules—including no texting or talking during the movie.
The normal volume conversations and the number of lit screens from people's smartphone's in my peripheral vision throughout the movie were huge distractions.
Maybe as I'm getting older, my patience has worn thin, or I happened to have a particularly unpleasant experience. But seriously, how can anyone enjoy going to the movies when people are constantly updating their status inside a darkened auditorium?
It should illegal. Rant over.
I feel like if there is nothing after life, it just invalidates life. But maybe I'm just dramatic. I hope there is peace. Thoughts?
black and white two funerals GIFTogether...
"When we die, the whole world as seen by us, dies together with us."
"Yes it does. As does the entire universe. Only when we are alive can we experience the passage of time. The instant we die the entire universe will experience heat death and cease to be. It my take a million eons but since we can no longer experience time it will be relatively instantaneous."
- OkEbb749
Thanks Alan
"It's one of the great wonders of life: What will it be like to go to sleep and never wake up? And if you think long enough about that, something will happen to you. You will find out, among other things, that it will pose the next question to you: What was it like to wake up after never having gone to sleep? That was when you were born. You see, you can't have an experience of nothing. Nature abhors a vacuum. ~Alan Watts"
So Romantic...
"When I was much younger, I had a dream where I died. Not a typical dream, not a romanticized dream. It was a dream where I was an archer in a medieval battle. About 5 minutes into the battle, chaos was all around me, and I watched an opposing archer aim and loose an arrow straight into my left eye."
"I remember the sensation of impact, ringing in my ears, and falling to the ground. I remember the warmth of the blood on my face. The feeling of life leaving my body, and the sense of worry evaporating into warmth and peace as the world left behind me."
"I remember waking up shortly after thinking that the feeling and reality of that experience was so vivid and so detailed that it must have been an experience from a previous incarnation hundreds of years ago. From that moment on, I've never feared the actual process of death. I feel like I've experienced it many times before."
Erase
Computer Reaction GIFGiphy"I think one of your best friends delete's your browsing history."
"Take the hard drive out of my computer at home… Put it in the bath… And make sure it's completely wiped. -Tensai Slime"
If you love me... rule number one... HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!! Let that be heard far and wide. And dreams, always so intertwined aren't they?
Before & After
Happy Baby GIFGiphy"Exactly the same as before you were born."
- whumoon
"I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. -Mark Twain"
Moving On...
"We clean the bed and assign it to another patient."
"The REAL reason why nurses are so dark. 90 year old man in hospice got hit by a car on his way to get fitted for his funeral tuxedo, and didn't have a DNR. Kept him alive for four hours, and now it's time to document everything that was done to save his life because there will inevitably be a lawsuit from a family member who has had four years to say goodbye but somehow didn't get to."
Again...
"Play again?
Yes
[No]
I don't know what they mean or how to utilize them. I'm a Buddhist (but a gamer first and foremost) so it's cool you guys made those connections This totally makes up for r/movies continuously banning me."
Oblivion...
"I've answered this one before but here it is again. Either two things happen after you die: you either go somewhere or it's oblivion. If it is oblivion, then we're just going back to the same place before we were born and there's nothing wrong with that. We were there for billions or trillions of years, possibly infinity."
"You lose that concept of time since your brain doesn't work anymore so you don't even know it's over. It's not nothing because nothing would be something and that means that you are aware, which you can not be if you're dead. If we do go somewhere, then that's something no one understands because no one has ever come back to tell us."
"Those stories of people coming back after they "died" and "saw stuff" weren't really dead. Their hearts stopped but their brains were still working. If the Universe continues to recycle itself infinitely, then there's a chance we will be reborn or continuously reborn but have no memory of our previous selves."
- jamoh20
On Holiday
"When I was a kid I drowned while on holiday with my family, a giant fat man jumped in the pool on top of me and no one noticed till I was on the bottom of the pool. I remember the feeling of my lungs being on fire, then shivering then as everything was going dark a strange sense of peace and I was ok with it, No panic or terror then it went black."
"I was resuscitated at the side of the pool a few minutes later. I remember nothing from the black to being "alive" again. I was around 7 when it happened and since then I've been strangely at peace with the fact that one day I will die and slip into the dark void of nothingness. Hope that helps."
Popcorn?
500 days of summer cinema GIFGiphy"You wake up in a chair in a cinema and learn that the other are past lives of you and you're about to watch your next life very soon on the big screen."
The truth is none of us know the truth. We live everyday with the afterlife being a gamble. And that seems like it's going to have to be enough.
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