Thrifty....

"I work at a thrift store. One of my jobs is pricing donations and taking them out to the sales floor. While pricing, I also act as a final quality control, and I'm free to throw out anything I don't think I'd in sellable condition. We have rags and a bottle of all-purpose cleaner for when we're pricing and such as well."

"One day, I was doing the dishes at home. I was washing a bunch of silverware, and got to this one knife that had a spot or something really suck onto it. I scrubbed at it for a good minute or so before saying forget it, I've wasted enough time on this, and then I tossed off to my left, where my garbage can usually is at work. And then I remembered I wasn't at work, I can't just throw stuff away because it's too much trouble to clean." ~ MasteringTheFlames

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Brush Away....

"I was brushing my teeth and went to throw something away but ended up spitting all over the floor instead." ~ PM_ME_YOUR_HUGETITS

Clean me.

"Wanted to take a quick whiz before leaving the house. Next thing I know I'm showering. Again." 7788445511220011

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"Where is she?"

"My wife and I used to alternate who picked up our daughter from school every week depending on who was on the early shift. Got home and my wife was already home. Our daughter used to play a game every afternoon after school where she would hide and whoever came home second would come in and loudly say "Where is she?"

"And the other one would reply with "She's not here."

"My wife or I would then have to go an look for her and find her. So I get home after my wife and walk in and say "Where is she?"

"My wife replies with "She's not here."

I" then start looking for her and my wife says "No, she's really not here, you were supposed to get her today because I had an appointment after work and didn't pick her up. You were meant to get her."

"I'd driven home and forgotten to pick up my daughter from school. Lucky we lived close to the school so it wasn't a massive issue." ~ BarrySpug

H20 Issues....

"I had a glass of water and a book, and I was walking into my room. I threw the water onto my bed. Why." AvengersFangirl99

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Hearing....

"I'm currently taking ASL. I am hearing everyone in my family is hearing. I don't sign outside of class. This morning I signed don't at my alarm clock. Edit- my first gold thank you!" ~ _-ember-_

Juice Me. 

"I've poured juice into my cereal bowl too many times." ~ Dy1ooon

"I can do you one better: I once flooded my drinking glass with French salad dressing in my failed attempt at covering my salad. I then began to ate my salad and wondered why it was so bland." ~ beanbbeanie

Through the Glasses...

"I've looked for my glasses several times whilst wearing them." ~ Moishe_the_Beatle

"I was talking to my aunt on phone the other day and she was complaining that she couldn't get logged into Facebook. I told her I would give her a couple of suggestions to try and fix it. She said that she would do that later because she cant find her phone. I paused and then asked her "isn't your phone in your hand?" She died laughing but I was thinking WTF?" ~ BaconReceptacle

Frozen...

"I put my phone in the freezer rather than the tub of ice cream." ~ candi_meyers5

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Brush & Spit...

"Too many times I have taken the electric toothbrush out of my mouth before turning it off. Just toothpaste and spit spraying all over my clothes, the mirror, and the sink. I brush my teeth twice a day; you'd think I'd have it down pat by now." ~ Reddit

It was Saturday. :/

"Got up in the morning, showered, shaved, dressed and headed off to work, picking up a newspaper while walking to the subway. Read the paper on the train, pleasantly surprised that I actually got a seat for the 45-minute trip! Got off at my stop and was mystified by the sparse rush-hour crowds on the sidewalk. Looked carefully at the paper I'd just finished reading. It was Saturday. :/ "

~ OriginallyFromNYC

My Day.... 

"I drove nearly 2 hours to my dad's house instead of meeting them two hours in the other direction for a family wedding. I suddenly clicked out of my stupor about 10 or 15 minutes from my dad's house, realize I was an idiot, I drove the rest of the way to his house to hang out by myself. All in all, it worked out a little better for me. The family has a hilarious story, and I got a day to myself." ~ Bangbangsmashsmash

I looked RIGHT AT MY WALLET!!!

"My previous smartphone could be woken up by tapping on the screen twice. I once had my phone and wallet next to each other on my desk while I was on the computer. I went to check if I had any notifications - I looked RIGHT AT MY WALLET and tapped on it twice. Waited a second for the screen to turn on. Hung my head in shame for about 10 seconds after that." ~ Narangeee

These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...

Cracked....

"I used to work as a short order cook in a deli. I would crack up to 20-30 eggs on the flattop are a time. I would be cracking eggs at some points and crack the egg split it open over the garbage can and throw the shell on the flattop." ~ vcwrestler02

Sorry....

"Apologized to a bottle of soap I knocked down." ~ tablecronch

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Welded Shut. 

"Was welding up a part in my shop and had a 2' bead to weld on one side. Flipped the part around on the table and started welding in the zoned out way a person does at the end of the day. Welded the part to my welding bench. Flipped my hood up and look at it and was completely baffled at my stupidity." ~ littleredhoodlum

Bussed Back...

"When I got a car from the first time. Next day I drove to the grocery store. Did my shopping took bus back home. Woke up in the morning - car is missing. Remembered that I left it at the store." ~ LeftChoux

Milked....

"Grabbed the milk from the fridge, opened the cabinet to grab a glass, put the milk in the cabinet. I got distracted for a second and forgot where I put it. I spent the next 20 minutes looking for the milk, all while my family was convinced I was playing some dumb prank on them by hiding the milk." ~ JustEatSomeYams

The Burger Rock. 

"Had a microwave burger, that goes in for 3 minutes. I put it on for 30 minutes, and proceeded to do other stuff, whilst checking to see if the microwave was finished. I remember thinking it was taking a long time, but still I checked and waited for the 'three' minutes to end. That burger was rock hard and devoid of any moisture. I had a sandwich instead, but it makes me smile to this day for some reason." ~ colony_gamer

Thanks....

"I thanked myself for opening the door for myself, as if someone else had opened the door for me." ~ rosalielie

Drive On

"My husband bought a new car but then had to go away for a couple weeks before it was ready. We were going to pick it up a few days after he returned, but I got the call saying it was ready a few days before he was due back. I decided I'd surprise him by getting it so it'd be there when he came home. I made the arrangements and drove the 4 hours to the dealership. Alone. Got there and realized I couldn't drive both my car and his new car home." ~ ItsAngelaAnaconda

Trash Day

"I was on a call with someone while taking out to trash before heading to school. Reaching the dumpster, I take off my bag, threw it inside and then began walking to school with the trash bag, instead. It was only when I wanted to grab my headphones from my bag that I realized what I just did." ~ ItsAmberisk

How was school today?'

"Wake up to drive to school in the middle of break." ~ LPineapplePizzaLover

"When I was a kid, I walked to school on a Saturday, wasn't until I got to school that I realised. My mom was apparently laughing so hard after she realised why i left so early in the morning, she was waiting by the door when i got home. I specifically remember her asking 'How was school today?' and me storming back to my room like it was her fault that i was a dumba**." ~ KH3HasNoHeart

Baker

"Discovered myself walking into our 2nd-story bedroom with a box of confectioner's sugar tucked under my arm. Kitchen is downstairs. I wasn't baking anything." ~ birdtripping

Angry Mess GIF by The Drew Barrymore Show Giphy

Brushed Away...

"Was about to brush my teeth when I stared at my toothbrush for a good 3 seconds before realizing I put handsoap on it." ~ thecloudsaretalking

"I've done something similar. Our kitchen has a handwash and dishsoap dispenser next to each other, the rest of the story you can imagine." ~ dustyhusky69

6th Gear

"So about once a month or so I'll be getting up to speed on my way home and have to stop myself while reaching for the gear lever to shift into 6th gear. My car doesn't have a 6 speed. Hell, I've never driven a car with a 6 speed. I have no idea why I do this." ~ SteevyT

Eye Contact

"I once really scratched up my eye because I couldn't get my contact lens out no matter how hard I tried. It took me about 10 minutes of this to realise it was morning. In the morning you put the lenses IN. You cannot take them out in the morning because you are not wearing them yet." ~ MerylSquirrel

between classes...

"Walked into a bathroom between classes at high school while an intense conversation was going on. We all started using the urinals, while still engrossed in the discussion so I did not notice that I was standing at a sink, not a urinal. And I was peeing. I cleaned the sink really well afterwards, at least." ~ scruit

Hey Tom

"We were in debate class thinking of some topics for hot spot. I wrote down 'Tom Holland is the best Spiderman' and told other people. they disagreed so i tried to say 'Tom Holland is the best Peter Parker.' As a compromise, and iIaccidentally said 'Tom Holland is the best Tom Holland." ~ Coldcolor900

Oh My God Spiderman GIF by Nerdist.com Giphy

Morning Needs

"Put the sugar back in the fridge and the milk in a drawer for my morning coffee. I also walked against a street lamp full speed while watching on my phone. It even made a gong sound when hitting it. There were also a bunch of people waiting on the other side of the street. Well, I don't mind, could be worse." ~ FreeFlowFlyer16

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