Thrifty....

I work at a thrift store. One of my jobs is pricing donations and taking them out to the sales floor. While pricing, I also act as a final quality control, and I'm free to throw out anything I don't think I'd in sellable condition. We have rags and a bottle of all-purpose cleaner for when we're pricing and such as well.

One day, I was doing the dishes at home. I was washing a bunch of silverware, and got to this one knife that had a spot or something really suck onto it. I scrubbed at it for a good minute or so before saying forget it, I've wasted enough time on this, and then I tossed off to my left, where my garbage can usually is at work. And then I remembered I wasn't at work, I can't just throw stuff away because it's too much trouble to clean. MasteringTheFlames

Brush Away....

I was brushing my teeth and went to throw something away but ended up spitting all over the floor instead. PM_ME_YOUR_HUGETITS

Clean me.

Wanted to take a quick whiz before leaving the house. Next thing I know I'm showering. Again. 7788445511220011

"Where is she?"

My wife and I used to alternate who picked up our daughter from school every week depending on who was on the early shift. Got home and my wife was already home. Our daughter used to play a game every afternoon after school where she would hide and whoever came home second would come in and loudly say "Where is she?"

And the other one would reply with "She's not here."

My wife or I would then have to go an look for her and find her. So I get home after my wife and walk in and say "Where is she?"

My wife replies with "She's not here."

I then start looking for her and my wife says "No, she's really not here, you were supposed to get her today because I had an appointment after work and didn't pick her up. You were meant to get her."

I'd driven home and forgotten to pick up my daughter from school. Lucky we lived close to the school so it wasn't a massive issue. BarrySpug

H20 Issues....

I had a glass of water and a book, and I was walking into my room. I threw the water onto my bed. Why. AvengersFangirl99

Hearing....

I'm currently taking ASL. I am hearing everyone in my family is hearing. I don't sign outside of class. This morning I signed don't at my alarm clock

Edit- my first gold thank you! _-ember-_

Juice Me. 

I've poured juice into my cereal bowl too many times. Dy1ooon

I can do you one better: I once flooded my drinking glass with French salad dressing in my failed attempt at covering my salad. I then began to ate my salad and wondered why it was so bland. beanbbeanie

Through the Glasses...

I've looked for my glasses several times whilst wearing them. Moishe_the_Beatle

I was talking to my aunt on phone the other day and she was complaining that she couldn't get logged into Facebook. I told her I would give her a couple of suggestions to try and fix it. She said that she would do that later because she cant find her phone. I paused and then asked her "isn't your phone in your hand?". She died laughing but I was thinking WTF? BaconReceptacle

Frozen...

I put my phone in the freezer rather than the tub of ice cream. candi_meyers5

Brush & Spit...

Too many times I have taken the electric toothbrush out of my mouth before turning it off. Just toothpaste and spit spraying all over my clothes, the mirror, and the sink. I brush my teeth twice a day; you'd think I'd have it down pat by now. Reddit

It was Saturday. :/

Got up in the morning, showered, shaved, dressed and headed off to work, picking up a newspaper while walking to the subway. Read the paper on the train, pleasantly surprised that I actually got a seat for the 45-minute trip! Got off at my stop and was mystified by the sparse rush-hour crowds on the sidewalk. Looked carefully at the paper I'd just finished reading.

It was Saturday. :/ OriginallyFromNYC

My Day.... 

I drove nearly 2 hours to my dad's house instead of meeting them two hours in the other direction for a family wedding. I suddenly clicked out of my stupor about 10 or 15 minutes from my dad's house, realize I was an idiot, I drove the rest of the way to his house to hang out by myself. All in all, it worked out a little better for me. The family has a hilarious story, and I got a day to myself. Bangbangsmashsmash

I looked RIGHT AT MY WALLET!!!

My previous smartphone could be woken up by tapping on the screen twice. I once had my phone and wallet next to each other on my desk while I was on the computer. I went to check if I had any notifications - I looked RIGHT AT MY WALLET and tapped on it twice. Waited a second for the screen to turn on.

Hung my head in shame for about 10 seconds after that. Narangeee

Cracked....

I used to work as a short order cook in a deli. I would crack up to 20-30 eggs on the flattop are a time. I would be cracking eggs at some points and crack the egg split it open over the garbage can and throw the shell on the flattop. vcwrestler02

Sorry....

Apologized to a bottle of soap I knocked down. tablecronch

Welded Shut. 

Was welding up a part in my shop and had a 2' bead to weld on one side. Flipped the part around on the table and started welding in the zoned out way a person does at the end of the day.

Welded the part to my welding bench.

Flipped my hood up and look at it and was completely baffled at my stupidity. littleredhoodlum

Bussed Back...

When I got a car from the first time. Next day I drove to the grocery store. Did my shopping took bus back home. Woke up in the morning - car is missing. Remembered that I left it at the store. LeftChoux

Milked....

Grabbed the milk from the fridge, opened the cabinet to grab a glass, put the milk in the cabinet. I got distracted for a second and forgot where I put it. I spent the next 20 minutes looking for the milk, all while my family was convinced I was playing some dumb prank on them by hiding the milk. JustEatSomeYams

The Burger Rock. 

Had a microwave burger, that goes in for 3 minutes. I put it on for 30 minutes, and proceeded to do other stuff, whilst checking to see if the microwave was finished. I remember thinking it was taking a long time, but still I checked and waited for the 'three' minutes to end.

That burger was rock hard and devoid of any moisture. I had a sandwich instead, but it makes me smile to this day for some reason. colony_gamer

Thanks....

I thanked myself for opening the door for myself, as if someone else had opened the door for me. rosalielie