When you think about it, history is a long time.
Turns out when you study history hoping to learn from the greats, from the pioneers, from the people who built and grew and made civilization as we know it today, you'll discover there are quite a few f*** ups littered about, waiting to be picked up and put in the receptacles of our minds. Mistakes, right there, out in the open, for us to laugh at.
Reddit user, u/Ijustbetryingdude, wanted to hear about:
Accidentally Stumbling Into The Books
The most surprising thing you'll come across when you do your history deep dive is how many individuals sort of stumbled their way into historical relevance. They took a wrong turn or made a wrong call then, whoops, you're famous now.
Lack Of Foresight
Mao Zedong asked his people to kill sparrows and they did.
But then insects had free reign to eat crops and this was partly the reason for the Great Chinese Famine, which killed 15-55 million people.
...It Was Part Of My Plan All Along!
George Washington, retreating from an advancing larger army, got lost, got lost again, accidentally flanked them, and won.
Hey, Dummies. Get Out.
The explosion of the USS Maine most likely wasn't a Spanish sabotage. The official report claims that a mine is what sunk the ship, but several officers disagreed and proposed a more plausible hypothesis: that the ship blew up because the coal they were using accidentally lit up the ship's munitions (the type of coal used can produce a gas that is very prone to exploding). Nevertheless, thanks to yellow journalism and the US being full-swing into imperialism, we went to war with Spain and wound up f-cking over the Philippines.
Also, the men holed up at the Alamo were told several times by friendly forces that they needed to get the hell out or they would all die. They didn't get out. Guess what happened.
Wait, What Do You Mean THEY LOST IT?
So apparently in the 1960s during the cold war, CIA and the Intelligence Bureau of India collaborated to install a nuclear-powered sensing device atop the Nanda Devi the 2nd highest peak in India at a height of 25,643 ft. During the installation, an avalanche hit the location and the team had to return to their base. On returning it was found that the plutonium required to power the device had been lost. Now, this plutonium is half of what was used in the Hiroshima bombing. There were multiple operations launched to retrieve it but they failed.
So somewhere atop the Himalayas, there is an active nuclear bomb. What makes it even more dangerous is that the Himalayas stand on a tectonic fault (google it if you don't know) and an explosion not only shall spew tradition but cause multiple earthquakes and avalanches causing a potentially much larger disaster.
A common thread you'll find in history's annals is the ineffectiveness of world leaders. Whether it's their lack of knowledge or lack of courage, sometimes the people in charge are real dummies.
Just Tell Us You Didn't Do It And We Won't Punish You.
During WW1, America was looking at the war going "boy that sucks, good luck gang, here's some food and guns we guess." But Germany was worried that America would join in, so they sent a telegram to Mexico that basically said "If you guys join us and keep America busy with a huge war, we will give you back Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona when we totally win." Britain intercepted the telegram and immediately told the US.
Folks in the US were skeptical. Why would Germany say something like that, be so blatant about it? It had to be a fake, because it was too stupid of an offer to be real, and clearly something made up by Britain in order to force America to join the war, because no one would be so dumb as to put that sh-t in a telegram. So America asked the guy who sent it, expecting denials. The high ranking German, Zimmerman, immediately responded with "oh yeah I totally sent that, and I meant it, and I absolutely sent that to Mexico." A month later America formally declared war on Germany and entered WW1.
Had Germany not sent the telegram, and had Zimmerman not admitted that he did it, America probably would never have joined the war.
"It's Just A War. What Could It Cost?" - Russia, maybe
Russia thinking they had to bleed themselves dry fighting against the Japanese (1904-1905) to avoid a "humiliating peace."
Congratulations, dummies, you broke your country.
Russian domestic instability would become untenable, what was left of their military would become corrupt, incompetent and ineffectual, and an emasculated tsar would allow himself to be goaded into the First World War.
We know how that story went.
Whoopsie Doodle, Let's Set That Back To Where It Was
I guess this is considered a f-ck up, but not of huge proportions.
The battle of Athens Tenn, took place when a bunch of recently discharged WW2 veterans found out that the local election was being rigged, black people werent being allowed to cast their vote by use of police force, Media, and schools were bought and paid to spread propaganda etc.
In short, they took matters into their own hands, got into a huge shootout in the middle of town, over threw the local government, and made an entire new government consisting of nothing but G.I's, it failed by the early 50's, and they voted in the exact same system that they just overthrew. it also accidentally prompted a huge several statewide movement against corrupt politics.
I'm Seeing Double Here. Four Armies!
The surrender of Detroit in the war of 1812. Essentially the British and their indigenous allies hatched a plan where Tecumseh's men would dance past the gates of the fort and then double back and do it again and again making the Americans believe there were many more warriors than there were. They surrendered to an outnumbered British-Shawnee force.
Who Needs America When You Have Russian Winters?
People often said Hitler was a great strategist but he unnecessarily attacked Russia and at the wrong time (winter). He was unable or unwilling to support his attacking army with food, winter clothing and materials. Result: Russia held off the attack, killed hundreds of thousands of German soldiers, endured the winter while building tanks and armor and subsequently moved on to attacking Germans all the way to Berlin.
Ignoring History. Doomed To Repeat It.
Some parts of the world's history aren't so much mix-ups or mistakes of the past, but ignorance of the present. We forget our own history, thus, as they say, dooming us to repeat it and make the same mistakes again and again and again.
Electing Donald Trump?
Unable To Predict What's To Come
Western Union told Bell to f-ck off (paraphrased) with his "toy," the telephone. They offered the patent to Western Union for around $2M in today's money, and Western Union's president regretted it, saying that if he could buy it for $25M (roughly $550M today), it would be a bargain. Bell went on to start what would be AT&T.
Who Weeps For Them, Indeed?
The Armenian holocaust that occurred from April 24th 1915 and lasted until 1917 and nobody really paid attention. Hitler noticed that nobody seemed to care and believed that he would get the same reaction if he started a Jewish holocaust.
They Were Our Buddies. Remember?
France supporting the American revolution. The French government pretty much bankrupted itself supporting the American revolution, creating a financial black hole that lead directly to the French revolution and Louis XVI being sent to the guillotine.
Did You Watch HBO's Watchmen?
The Black Wallstreet massacre in Tulsa.
It was just 100 years ago but we've swept that sh-t under the rug so hard.
"Eh...We'll Let It Slide." - Reagan, maybe
Remember how badly Trump f-cked up the coronavirus response because of his ignorance and political agenda?
Reagan & Co. did that with AIDS. Just ignored the urgency of a new and unfamiliar disease because it was seemingly wiping out the gays.
History isn't a well-woven tapestry, detailing our victories and shining moments. It's a hastily stitched together quilt with seams all out of place and the individual panels are made of paper. It's a mess, but somehow knowing it's a mess means we always have room to do better, to be better, than the people who were before us.
Nobody wants to die alone. That is one of life's more basic truths. We all hope there is going to be a familiar hand to hold and a pair of eyes that witnessed our lives looking into us as we drift off to meet our maker. That feels like the basics of marriage. Well that and a permanent booty call.
That's why a lot of people turn to a trusted friend to maybe one day be a love interest. It's always good to have a fail-safe and a back up. And the older you get the more the chase becomes too much run through, so why not make it easy? It's like... "hey so and so... you wanna get hitched by this date, in case?"
BAM! Instant I Do.
Redditor u/shansnewone wanted the betrothed out there to tell us about their relationship successes and fails, by asking:
Couples who got married on the basis: "if we're both not married by (x) years old, we'll marry each other" how did things work out?
I am out of options. Unless all of my prior fail safes current relationships don't pan out, I'm going to the grave alone. I'm too tired to look, or too lazy. Potato/potatoe... let's see who has better luck.
Decades Laterjust married love GIFGiphy
"Yep, worked out pretty well. We've known each other for close to 30 years now and jokingly said something similar years ago. Anyway, we got married almost 6 years ago and pretty happy with the situation."
"We were best friends for a long time in high school, I was really into her but the feeling wasn't mutual. I told her if we were single 5 years from now I could see us getting together and getting married. I moved across the country and we mostly lost touch for a couple years, but then almost exactly five years after I'd said that, we reconnected and I told here I was miserable where I was."
"She had just moved to a new city, I moved in with her, and we got together pretty quick. In two weeks, that'll have been six years ago. We just bought a house and our daughter's first birthday is next month. It was rocky at first, since we were both escaping miserable situations and living in a studio apartment, but everything worked out and I live with my best friend."
She said yes...
"Funny enough, there was a girl I liked in High School, but I was 17 and she was 15. She asked me out but I said no because I just got a girlfriend, but I was interested in her and I told her. She said if I'm single by the time I'm 25, can we get married? I was like yeah sure. I asked her when she was 25 if she was single. She said yes. Reminded her about our agreement and she said "I'm only really dating girls right now." So yeah."
Jumped the gun a little...
"I made this arrangement with my best friend from college. We spent so much time together, people thought we were dating and it led to some strife in many of my possible relationships because they saw her as a threat. But that wasn't the nature of our relationship. Strictly friends, I had interest in her one time but was quickly friendzoned and didn't try to make any advances. She never held interest in me."
"One night, close to the end of college, we went out and grabbed some beer at a local place and were transparent that we could see ourselves getting married to one another. We made an agreement that if, by the age of 30 pr 35 (I can't remember now), we were both single, we would get married. After college, we went our separate ways—I continued with school, she got a job."
"We talked inconsistently (maybe once every few months?) for about 2 years. I happened to be in her city one day in 2020 and we grabbed coffee. We talked a little more after that, then things REALLY picked up here in the last few months. We're engaged, getting married in March. Jumped the gun a little, but dammit this is the best decision and relationship I've ever been in."
In the End...This Is Absolutely Ridiculous Mandy Moore GIF by This Is UsGiphy
"Couple I knew both thought very highly of themselves and thought they could do better than the other person. They're now together and miserable."
Well those sound pleasant enough. Well, most of them do. But hey, when you gotta go with what's in front of you, you can't beg. Maybe others had it better.
Cheers to Us...Season 17 Cheers GIF by The BacheloretteGiphy
"Had an agreement. Both were married far before the date. Did however go out for drinks to celebrate the fact that we were both happily married!"
"I know a couple who were best friends but dating other people for about 15 years. No one was surprised when they finally started dating and got married, but they didn't have an agreement like you mention. They just finally got over the idea that love had to start with romance rather than friendship."
What happens... happens...
"My best friend dated this chick through high school. They broke up to go to separate colleges, dated other people obviously. Got back in town after graduating, got back together, got married. That was like 19 years and 3 kids ago. He was telling me they never would've lasted a year if they didn't separate for the 4 years of college."
This is a date?!
"My husband and I were friends. I said ,"if you don't have a date on Valentine's Day, why don't you come over and we can drink/ hang out." ( it was senior year of college… this was everyone's past time on non football days or club nights) Valentines came, and we both had nothing to do. He came over with beer AND yellow/red flowers."
"He offered to take me to dinner. I turned around and looked at my roommate like," huh?! Ooohhhhh... This is a date?!" I accepted the flowers and the 6 pack, got changed and 3 days later I just knew he was the one I wanted to annoy for a lifetime. We were swimming in the Jupiter inlet and I said "I think we should get married" he said "Yep. Sounds like a plan."
"That's all it took… friends + valentines + trajectory change = 2 kids, 2 careers, 6 moves, 1 serous illness. We survived together as a team, and It will be 25 years together in February. Man, I got it right and I couldn't even think of anyone better a fit for me. It's been AWESOME!!!"
Let's Party...Marriage Love GIFGiphy
"In my case i had good friend studying together abroad who had boyfriend."
"I told her to call me when she's free. Two years later she came to work to my city she was already free. She called me and we went to a party where after an hour or two we decided to be together and we are for 10 years."
I'm comforted by a lot of this. Maybe I'll meet some new back ups. And then love will overcome. Anybody free for a chat? ;)
Romance novels, romantic films and TV shows, advertisements, and society at large has made the gift of flowers a symbol of love, condolences, well wishes, or congratulations.
The actual act of giving flowers goes back centuries to ancient Greece, China, Egypt, the Victorian Era, and has evolved even in the last 100 years. In 1917, advertisers made giving flowers to mothers and grandmothers on Mother's Day a staple of the holiday.
Different eras and cultures have changed the way we view the importance of flowers or even the meaning behind the type of flower we are gifting. It shifted to become a gendered gesture most prodominantly in the Victorian Era as a way to express specific feelings for a romantic partner because it wasn't acceptable to share emotions outwardly.
For some reason, we still emphasize that gendered nature and restrict flower-giving to men and flower receiving to women. But what's wrong with a man getting flowers from a woman?
For some reason, we need to come up with an alternative gift for men so they don't feel emasculated (and that's on toxic masculinity). We wanted to find out what those gifts are.
So Redditor Charn22 asked:
"What is the male equivalent of buying a women flowers?"
Let's see what the men have to say.
Different kind of flower.
"I also enjoy flowers. My wife gets me the best Indica."
"Last Friday after a long day of work my girlfriend, who doesn't like weed, surprised me with a nice bag of Indica and told me to smoke for the weekend."
"I've been internally thinking about marriage a lot more this last week…"
"That's is what sealed the deal for our marriage!! She hunted down my favorite strain 100% pure DJ Short Blueberry…I looked for months found variations but never the original…made my year and was just a 'I love you gift,' no occasion; a keeper! 10 years and two kids later still in love!"
"That's love there."
Don't buy anything at all.
"Thoughtful, romantic materialistic items are great, however I'd be more than satisfied with a hug and a kiss."
"Back rub. My wife actually enjoys rubbing my back. It's good to be me."
It's the little things.
"Some guys like gifts, some guys don't. I don't like gifts, but that's also because I've dated spoiled rich girls who expected them and that experience sort of ruined it for me. But there are other ways to show appreciation."
"My current girlfriend does this one thing that always makes me smile. I am a heavy sleeper and I have a hard time getting up early in the morning. She's a morning person so she's always up ahead of me so now she likes to get up while I'm still sleeping and makes coffee for me. She doesn't even drink coffee and at first didn't even know what proportions to use."
"It makes me smile every time because getting my morning coffee is the first thing I do every day. It's a small gesture but it's one I really appreciate because I always wake up very sleepy. She usually wakes me up getting back in bed and now that I know what she's doing, it gives me a great opportunity to show my appreciation in another way."
"You should, like, marry her and stuff."
"I just about cried when my last GF first made me coffee in the morning... when no one's ever done that for you before it's a seriously big deal!"
"Nice to know some men appreciate it. My ex always took me doing stuff like that for granted. I even got up and did it DESPITE not being a morning person at all, but I was always a lighter sleeper so I was usually up first anyway."
Who doesn't love snacks?
"My late husband disliked going into stores, so I would often buy his favourite treats for him while shopping."
"Love me some snacks. Ice cream too. My son usually gets 'em all but sometimes the wife remembers mine and I'm stoked when she does."
"My ex loved 6 packs of beer and a foot long Bellacino's chicken grinder. I gave him that one year for Valentine's Day along with a VHS tape full of MMA fight matches to watch instead of going out to dinner. He almost cried. That was a good day."
Food is the way to a mans heart.
"'Honey, I was passing your favorite restaurant and I picked you up a cheeseburger and onion rings. I hope that's ok.' Yes, it's ok."
"My wife would have to call me to let me know she ran out of gas driving around trying to decide which place to stop at."
"I'd marry a woman who does that twice. hot diggity!"
Actually, maybe flowers aren't that bad of an idea.
"Buying a guy flowers."
"I would be very touched if a girl gave me flowers. I would never forget that."
"I love it when my fiancé buys me flowers. They look nice in the house, they smell nice, and it's a gift showing they care about me! There is literally no down side… unless it would completely shatter someone's fragile masculinity."
"My wife doesn't like getting cut flowers because she would prefer they didn't die for her "enjoyment." Potted flowers are okay."
"I don't dislike flowers, they are just invisible to me. If my wife puts a vase of flowers somewhere, I won't even notice until she points them out. Several times in the past, she has gone away for a week and come back and asked why I haven't thrown away the dead flowers. I never even noticed there were flowers there, let alone that they died, lol."
But it's not for everyone, just as not all women like flowers either.
"So I've seen men mention this a number of times on reddit. I therefore decided to get my partner some for his birthday (in addition to other things), and he was NOT impressed. It sucked."
"First time I ever bought flowers for a boyfriend he made it very awkward. 'Um, thanks? You don't buy men flowers.' Strict gender role adherence can really make a person miss out on small joys!"
"A direct equivalent would just be a nice plant. Personally I'm not very into flowers, they seem impractical because they wilt away after a few days. But a nice plant that can stick around for a while would be cool."
There are plenty of ways you can treat your partner and show your appreciation for them. What's important to remember that, regardless of gender, everyone is different.
We have to be specific and pay attention to our partners. Treating them like they deserve to be treated, with respect and adoration, is important and necessary to making them feel appreciated.
The style and manner of our conversations fluctuate depending on social or professional environments.
But in a stressful work environment, many of us are inclined to drop the f-bomb but choose not to for the sake of professionalism.
Is there a way to professionally tell someone to F off without actually using those exact words?
This is something that was explored on an Ask Reddit thread when user daniabear asked:
"How can someone say 'f'k you' in a professional situation?"
Getting a supervisor involved was mentioned as an intimidation tactic.
Using A Superior
"I spoke with your supervisor about the matter and they agree with me."
"*just CCing the supervisor*"
"My favorite is when a co-worker sends me an email and CCs all pertinent supervisors under the guise of 'I've told you repeatedly about X not working and months later it's still not working."'
"And then I go dig up my original, professional reply that explained how they were doing it wrong and that X is in fact working just fine, please just follow procedure. I forward that original reply with no explanation to the whole thread as a response to the very unprofessional tantrum they're currently throwing."
"Then I sit back, sip my coffee and wait. I typically turn on my read receipt for these types of communications so I can sense the disturbance in the force in real time."
Read The Email
"When someone asks in an email for something you already sent them, you just forward the original email."
"It pisses me off that I have to keep track of what's been said and when, just to be able to find it and point to it - while it's easy for the a**hole who's not paying attention to just ask again, and again."
If read between the lines, these statements is like flipping the bird.
"I've taken your idea/feedback/POV under advisement. Thank you for your contribution."
Basically, You're Wrong
"I humbly disagree with your opinion."
Finding The Tone
"There's nuance in context. If I'm in a meeting (in person or remote) and I say 'let's talk about that offline'. That might be neutral as something is another topic or concern or the flow or time constraints are such that, that's more ideal. It can also mean other things. I think most people know the difference."
There was room for some creativity.
I Hear You
"With all DUE respect."
"'With all due respect.... f'k you' and then push send"
Kill Them With Kindness
"I hope your day is as lovely as you are."
A Slight Misinterpretation
Say to the person 'You should go f'k off eh!'"
"They will to the predicable thing, act shocked/offended and say something like 'Excuse Me?!' or 'Pardon me?!?!' or "WHAAAT?!!!"
"Then you 'repeat' yourself 'I said, You should go for coffee."
The Final Destination
"Perhaps the road less traveled is where you belong."
"Your objections have been duly noted and summarily overruled."
The responses varied depending on the work situation.
I work in entertainment. Many people in the industry are very passionate and they are not limited to those we see on stage and screen.
A production team is comprised of individuals who have integrity and have no problem mincing words when things go awry.
In my experience, when the occasional f-bomb is dropped in a non-combative situation, no one bats an eye.
What immediately follows is a collective, unspoken understanding that something didn't go over well, and everyone goes about their business.
We leave the drama for the stage.
Parenting is hard. That is a basic, simple truth--and it is not meant for everybody. I truly will never understand why people don't have to prove themselves capable of being parents before they decide to bring a new life into this world. You have to have a license to drive, buy a gun... fish! Why is there not a parenting permit?
Everything you do affects your children. And then children become adults who carry your actions that turn to scars. The job of a parent is riddled with failures. So that is a truth you have to ready yourself for and then make a plan to do better.
Thank God for therapists.
Redditor u/umbralia wanted to discuss the gritty details and the imperfections of childhood, by asking:
What are the things you feel your parents failed at when raising you?
I know I could never be a parent. I've never even kept a plant alive. It's a miracle my dog is semi-normal. That's the first step, acknowledge your faults and truths.
little things...Season 4 Swag GIF by Rick and MortyGiphy
"Confidence/worrying. Little things seem to be a big deal with them Also both of them would make unnecessary comments about my looks."
"Absolutely no food guidance at all. I was allowed to have as much soda, cookies, candy, cakes, chips, all sorts of junk food, etc., as I wanted. Seldom was there any healthy food in the house. I struggled with my weight most of my childhood and the early part of my adulthood because I was never taught to eat healthy. Finally as an adult I started figuring it out and finally lost the weight but I was not raised, ever, to eat healthy but I wish I was."
"Independence, I was the kid who had an overprotective parent so when other kids went to parks/shops/friends houses I was told no you can't go because it's unsafe, made me very socially isolated because everyone else did things and I had to stay back on my own."
No Big Loss
"My mom, she complained about me losing weight (I didn't) when I wanted to just eat enough to not be hungry. She kept asking me where I got this crazy idea to only eat when I'm hungry. And the worst part? When She was complaining about the weight I didn't lose, I was STILL overweight."
Impactcouple yelling GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"They failed at keeping their relationship issues to themselves and not letting it spill over into our childhood and impact our daily lives."
Children are always watching. That is lesson number one. Also, focus on imparting the ways your babies can live a full life and not just how to survive struggle.
ExplosionsIntimidating Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"How to manage my anger. I was implicitly taught to bottle everything up because anger is an unacceptable emotion. It has had unexpected effect in a variety of areas down the line, especially when it comes to dealing with authorities."
"everything is ok"
"I have this reward issue, but for a different reason. My father used to just disappear for months at a time when I was a kid. We were a 2 income household and my mother was always too proud to ask for help or even admit there was a problem, so we usually went hungry and without power sometimes."
"Whenever my father came back, it meant we had money again and to compensate for how awful things were, my mother would take us grocery shopping and we'd get whatever we wanted. I remember vividly the times we'd come home from shopping and just pig out on ice cream, snack cakes, frozen pizza, candy, cookies, whatever we wanted."
"Having food, especially junk food, meant "everything is ok" in my brain. A lot of feast and famine as a kid. As an adult, it took me a while to work out healthier eating habits. There is still nothing as comforting as a stomach full of processed junk, but it doesn't happen often anymore."
Never Far Enough!
"My parents were extremely strict. I had to go to bed at 9pm every night, no matter whether it was a holiday or weekend. I was only able to be with friends my parents approved of. I went out with a guy in high school to see a movie that she chose for us to see. When we got to the theater, the movie was sold out so we chose a different movie."
"Both were rated PG (my mom would prefer it was rated G), and when I got home I told my mom about the movie we saw. She got furious with me because I didn't call her to get permission to change movies. That's just one of the many nightmares I dealt with. My mom would say something was okay to one day, and the next day we weren't allowed to do it ever again."
"I moved out when I was 18 years old. She lives in New England and I moved to Alaska for a while and then California. I haven't lived on the East Coast in almost 30 years. I'm in my 60's and sometimes I wonder if living all the way across the country is far enough away."
Feel the Hate
"When they got divorced it was abundantly clear they hated each other more than they loved us. Prior to that they were pretty good parents considering how young they were. Especially considering my dad had one of the worst examples of a father I'd care to imagine. They just got blinded by the bitterness between them and nobody thought to see above it."
"My sister was the center of attention when I was a kid, and in many ways, she still is. I lived a solitary childhood. My mom was completely disengaged from my life. I never go to do sports, hang out with friends, get involved in after school or extracurricular activities, or develop any hobbies. I was meant to be seen, not heard. I lived my entire childhood reading books, playing chess, and wandering around town aimlessly completely alone."
"And when I became of age to start working, she used my savings account as a means to finance sister's life. In later years when my sister grew up to be a sociopath, pathological liar, and ego maniac, they sort of recognized the mistake. My mom inquired recently why I never brought a girl over and I explained there was no room for me to have a social life in my sister's world."
Living WellNew Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy
"Confidence, money management, and throughout my teenage years, caring for me in general. I get it, my older brother had just died, but you had three other kids. One was only 8, and at 13, I shouldn't have had to step up and be his mother."
See there... failure and consequence. That is why there are so many wealthy therapists out there. Nobody says you have to be the perfect parent, just aim to be decent.