Not everyone will be in your life forever. Some relationships end, much to our disappointment, while others end, much to our relief. The latter type of relationship is what we will concern ourselves with today. You'd be surprised just how cruel some people can be, especially after Redditor blakeanthony asked the online community, "What's your 'I'm not hanging out with this person anymore' story?"
"My boyfriend's best friend..."
My boyfriend's best friend tried to strangle me at a party. He had me pinned on the ground with his hands around my neck while laughing. I kicked him off and connected with his face somehow, he proceeded to call me crazy for making his tooth loose. I didn't even mention it to my boyfriend until a year after we broke up. It was normal behaviour for his friend so I just didn't bring it up until he mentioned it was weird that I stopped hanging out with his best friend so suddenly.
"John didn't say anything."
My best friend (we'll call him John) and I were in the same gym class in high school. There was this kid that was incredibly annoying that hung out with us (we'll call him Bill). I really didn't like him, but I didn't want to say anything because he was obviously friends with John, and I didn't want to upset John.
One day, John and I are walking to school. We're both complaining about Bill and all of the annoying things he does. After several rounds of back-and-forth, I finally said "I wouldn't even hang out with him if he wasn't your friend."
John didn't say anything. I walked several paces before I realized he wasn't walking next to me anymore. I look back, and he's frozen in place. He finally says, "He's not my friend. I thought he was your friend."
I stopped hanging out with Bill after that.
"Passenger in my car..."
Passenger in my car made fun of a Mexican family on the corner asking for change. Not long after, he had lost his high paying job and was looking for a place to stay. I automatically thought about how he had treated others in the position he now found himself in and the choice to say no was easy.
"Used to carpool to work..."
Used to carpool to work at a factory with a guy many years ago. We had started hanging out a bit outside of work. One day he comes over and the first thing he does is pull some drugs out of his pocket and snort it off my coffee table. We... didn't hang out much after that.
"She was actually upset..."
Everything was a competition. Everything. She was actually upset that my boyfriend and I had gotten engaged before her and hers. They got engaged a few months later. Then when we were talking about buying a house, suddenly she was too. Same with a different car (mine was dying). It was exhausting. I didn't want to tell her anything anymore because I knew she'd just "compete." She ended up ghosting me. I'm good with that though.
"To be honest..."
Had a friend who would flake. He'd be my best friend for six months, then suddenly he'd not be my friend for a bit and go hang with someone else, but always came back. I eventually learned to just shrug and move on till next time. I was still young and still had the damaged high school mentality of "I'm alone anyhow, what the hell."
I moved out of state, and we'd chat sometimes, but it always happened again. I'd ask a question and he'd vanish, then reappear literal years later. I was older but heavily depressed, so I rolled with it.
I moved back into state, now married, and he eventually contacted me. We hung out and chatted. Played some D&D. I had another friend now who played with us. We'd drive for an hour to play. Talked about going to see the new Star Wars movie together, as his wife was supposedly pushing him to spend nerd time with someone else because she was very much not a nerd.
He vanished again. We drove an hour and he never showed, never responded to any messages, nothing. At this point, thing had changed and I simply wasn't desperate for friendship any more, so I shrugged it off. A year later, he suddenly messages me two days before the film arrived, "When do you want to go see the SW movie."
I finally realized I was a friend of convenience. When nobody else was there to be friends with, I'd suddenly be his best friend. The moment someone more interesting came along (I can be amusing, but I wear thin on social interaction fairly quickly if I don't have an actual purpose to the interaction, where as he has always been a "hang out" kind of person) I was put on a shelf until such time as he ran out of alternatives.
To be honest, I might have been more tolerant, but he'd changed immensely over the years. He went from a progressive liberal with a love of science and technology and a dark sense of humor to a regressive conservative of the "gays arn't people and the internet is all criminals trying to attack my daughter in law so I better police her interactions like Big Brother" variety. Considering the region we are in, and the woman he married, I am starting to suspect he's a social chameleon, taking on whatever stance gets him the most friends. Or possibly a straight sociopath. No idea. Doesn't matter. I told him I made other plans and ghosted him.
"I went to college in one city..."
So I grew up with my best friend in a small town. We had quite a large group of friends and as usual as we all grew up we grew apart. I went to college in one city and she went to school in another.
I would drive up to my parents every other week, and stop at her place for coffee and chat, see her kids, catch up etc. Eventually she stopped answering my calls, or messages, or would say she was busy, which was fine. UNTIL one of my other friends was arrested and I tried to find out where he was being held, court dates, etc. When he got out he called me and thanked me for trying to help him, and told me that the last time he saw my best friend, and another friend that they were doing meth.
Now my best friend was a gym rat, seaweed eating, single mother. She hated needles and only used weed once in a while (or so I thought). I called her to ask her how she was and what was going on, I was pretty direct. She denied any drug use and told me I was starting rumours and causing drama. I called two of my other friends to ask them if they had seen her and noticed anything. One denied seeing her, and other said that she wasn't using and to stop starting problems. Both of these girls blocked me on social media and stopped talking to me.
All of this was extremely weird to me, as my buddy would have zero reason to lie about them. I tried to contact my friend for coffee since I was heading that way, no answer. I showed up to her place anyways and she was home, (car parked, lights on, kids playing), but she ignored me. I did this for about 6 weeks, and every single time but once she was home but ignored me.
I eventually reached out to her ex husband to see if he could actually give me a straight answer, which he confirmed she went to rehab for drug use (pills) and that she seemed to be getting better, but that he was worried about his kids. By this point I thought ok well maybe she is ashamed about it, but will come around eventually. I was also doing exams at the time for college, and it was around Christmas time, so I was volunteering, raising my daughter, and doing school. I had hoped she would contact me since it was around Christmas and we both loved baking random s***.
Instead on December 21st I get a call from her ex husband saying she died that morning. My whole world stopped.
The funeral happened after Christmas, and her mom, and my ex friends still denied her using drugs even though she was covered in track marks and died from a drug overdose. After the funeral a few of us ended up going over to a friend's place and they admitted (while drunk) that they did know she was using, but they didn't know what exactly. I was so angry by that point. They also said that I wasn't as close as they were to her, and that I had just disappeared out of her life, and should have helped her.
WHAT THE F***?
Ya, I will never talk to them ever again.... Like f****** ever. Even her ex husband read all the messages between all of us, and they knew full well and were part of the drug use. Now I actually live with her ex-husband and her children (as well as my kids and my sister and her kids) and they have been begging to see her kids, and their father refuses.
"The final straw was when..."
A crabby, pessimistic friend that everyone hated only talked to me when they had a problem. Then I wouldn't hear from her for long periods of time. Even when I'd reach out, she'd just start complaining about her life. Basically I was her therapist. Looking back I don't even know why I was friends with her. I eventually moved far away to a city for school and ended up staying there.
The final straw was when she was having a hard time with an ex-boyfriend. I had suggested she get away for a while and come visit me. Turns out the ex lives in the same city as me, in fact just two neighborhoods over. She even said non chalantly that she hated the city I lived in but visited him over 10 times in a period of 2-3 years. She didn't even bother calling me once. Keep in mind this is a distance most people would choose to fly rather than drive to. I can understand the first 2-3 visits for just spending time with him, but 10+...? I asked her why she never bothered to tell me whenever she was around. She shrugged it off and continued to complain about her life.
Last winter break she had saw that I was back home and asked to hang out. I knew she was lonely and miserable and just wanted to use me again. Never responded and haven't spoken to her since. Don't waste your time on s***** friends like this.
"If you treat people that way..."
Carpooling with a coworker, politely asked her if she would stop for fast food on our way as I was hungry, and offered her a meal too, my treat.
She declined the offer for food but drove us through the window anyway
...and sped off after the cashier gave us the food before asking for the money. The cashier was a PoC in the city outskirts. She refused to go back and claimed "he wouldn't get in trouble, I misplaced money at work all the time in [well paying job in suburban white area] and never got trouble for it"
If you treat people that way with your money, you're s*** and you've made a s***** decision. You do that with my money and you can f*** off out of my life.
"I used to hang out..."
I used to hang out and drink with a guy in college. One day while riding in his back seat on the way back from the casino he asked if i wanted to join the KKK (yes, THAT one) and said that he knew someone who could get me an application. I stopped returning his calls or hanging out with him after that. He was an asshole but that was the last straw.
"A colleague of my husband's..."
A colleague of my husband's asked us to join him and his fiance for lunch. During lunch, he told a story about his mom throwing her declawed cat out of the house to get a dog. He laughed about how ugly the cat was after years of living outside. That was when I decided I would never hang out with them again. Not worth my energy.
"My partner's former best friend..."
My partner's former best friend sexually assaulted me while my partner was passed out drunk. There had been hints of a threesome earlier in the night, but he continued his advances after I said no many times. I felt bad for a while, but it's been years and he never apologized. F*** him.
"They went to Florida..."
They went to Florida when their COVID cases were at their worst and acted like nothing was wrong. Then came back and went to their church that doesn't require masks, putting everyone there at risk. They invited me to their wedding in a few weeks, but it's "no mask." Hell no.
"They showed up..."
They showed up wearing my jacket that I accidentally left at their house a few years prior. It has my name written on the label and I had asked them a few times if it was there. When I pointed out that it was mine, they made no effort to return it to me.
"Finally..."
My now former friend, let's call her Sarah, was really attention hungry and toxic towards everyone and worth of tossing away.
For example, she bad-mouthed me to my friends everytime she had a chance for it. Also when ever I would do something nice for her, she would always find something I could have done better and complain to me and others about how badly she was treated.
Finally the last straw for me was when in one night when we hang out together in a big group of our friends, Sarah tried to seduce my dear friends significant other in front of everyone. Since then I have just ghosted her, and so did some of our mutual friends. Don't think she will ever think she did something wrong.
"It's a boring story..."
I met a woman on bumble.
It's a boring story to tell otherwise, but out of the blue she used the n-word in my presence. I ghosted her after that.
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