People continue to surprise me with the ways they screw up the simplest things.
It's story time: Years ago I used to work in a fast food restaurant with someone who was particularly absentminded. They um... didn't know how to mop a floor. They'd just been hired. At midnight, just before closing, the manager came out of his office to wonder why in the world the entire dining room was streaked with grease and dirt. It turned out the new employee had simply grabbed the mop and passed it over the entire restaurant... without getting a bucket of water or cleaning solution of any kind. Like... what? We all had to stay an extra half-hour to clean up the mess (and, truth be told, I felt kind of bad for everyone, so I stayed to do my part).
Needless to say, that employee didn't come back for another shift once the manager had a word with them.
After Redditor ryoshi asked the online community, "What's the worst way you've ever seen someone f*** up a basic task?" people shared their stories... and we're cringing.
"I watched my stubborn grandfather..."
I watched my stubborn grandfather use a new Cadillac we told him not to buy and immediately hit another new Cadillac at the lot trying to back it out to drive home. Expensive mistake.
A friend, who will definitely see this if this post becomes popular, tried to make mashed potatoes by hitting raw taters with a hammer.
"Well, the worker decided to see..."
My ex was a construction foreman. He asked one of his team to powerwash a brick wall. Simple task, right?
Well the worker decided to see how hard the water came out of the powerwashing nozzle. It took off two of his fingers. At that point, my ex had to stop the worksite, call an ambulance and go find the two fingers because the worker and the other guy with him were both sitting on the ground in shock.
My ex found the fingers, the ambulance came. Long story short, the fingers were unable to be reattached since they were just too damaged from the powerwasher.
I mean if the water is strong enough to remove loose paint and debris from the brick, what did this kid think was going to happen if he put his fingers in front of the waterjet?
"Watched my boyfriend..."
Watched my boyfriend try to make boxed Mac and cheese. He put some water in a massive pot (almost completely full), poured in the noodles, poured in the cheese powder then set in on the stove and turned it on. We had to throw it out and restart.
Watching my boyfriend's attempts at cooking are a great source of entertainment. I asked him if he wanted help before he even got out the pot but he assured me that he knew what he was doing from watching me do it. I just wanted to watch it all unfold.
"I used to work in fast food..."
I used to work in fast food and was doing dishes. We had a rush and I had a lot of dishes to catch up on since I also was working the window. The manager had the new kid take the clean dishes out of the disinfectant to put on the drying rack, only he didn't stop. I look over after hearing some banging to find he just keeps loading the drying rack when it's way too full and the dishes are falling off. I tell him to put some of the dishes away that are mostly dry and he just looks as if he's looking right past me and then turns back and continues putting dishes on the drying rack.
"We had a summer student in my office..."
We had a summer student in my office who we tasked to print out and laminate contact info for an event, basically lists of names and phone numbers. He used the paper cutter and cut the last 2 digits off of each phone number before laminating.
"I used to work in a kitchen..."
Used to work in a kitchen, was training a new hire. Said she had just graduated from culinary school, cool. Slow day, had her dicing bread for croutons.
She was using the dull side of the knife.
"My son wanted to cook eggs..."
My son wanted to cook eggs for us and serve us breakfast in bed. He cracked the eggs straight into the cast iron pan, no butter or oil, turned up the heat to high, then forgot about it and went to play Fortnite.
"He was just dumb."
When I asked someone to send me a Word file, and instead of sending it as an email attachment, he printed it out, scanned it, and saved the photos on a floppy disk, which he snail-mailed to me. It was not sensitive information, so he wasn't trying to do it for data security purposes. He was just dumb.
"At the end of the day..."
Tasked with reviewing existing files, removing document copies, and alphabetizing one-of a-kind, original financial documents to be scanned and filed in a new document library system. At the end of the day, this genius shredded the wrong set of papers.
"Instead of taking the package to the post office..."
My 21-year-old brother was told to mail a package to England (from Canada). Instead of taking the package to the post office, he put it in the letter box down the street with no stamps and no return address. This is the second time he has done this.
"My bro used a massive knife..."
My bro used a massive knife to cut open the tab on a wine box to get to the tap underneath. He sliced all the way in, through the box and bag and 3 litres of wine were released onto the kitchen floor that then proceeded to flood the room downstairs.
"When he wasn't finished..."
Hired a 15-year-old to rake my yard.
When he wasn't finished after 2 full days, I watched him through the window and realized he was picking up the leaves with his hands and carrying them to the curb. (A truck picks up our leaves if we put them on the curb.) I had given him a rake but he said that was easier, so umm, okay then. I wasn't paying him by the hour.
"When I went to check on him..."
I asked my boyfriend to boil some pasta for the sauce I had made. When I went to check on him, he had filled a pot with water and had chucked in the noodles immediately and was standing next to it waiting for them to be ready. I explained how that was not the proper method to make noodles and he refused to believe me until I had him look at instructions... that were clearly labeled on the box. Safe to say, he's not much of a chef, but he's a damn good assistant (with instruction).
"A former colleague of mine..."
A former colleague of mine tried to learn programming.
So he went on youtube and looked for a tutorial on how to make a game.
Now most programming tools have autocompletion features. He just completely ignored those and mistyped almost everything by hand instead... Managed to get just about every second line completely wrong, which is quite hard when using proper tools such as the one he was using.
"I asked him what he was up to..."
My old roommate couldn't cook to save his life. He defied the boundaries of logic. I once caught him with a large glass dish with about 3 inches of water in it and a raw potato rolling around inside. I asked him what he was up to and he said "I'm making a baked potato." I shook my head and walked off.
"We once had..."
We once had one of those electric kettles that you plug into the wall. Well, My dear old nan put it on the stove, turned on the burner and lit the plastic bottom on fire, melting the plastic onto the burner and igniting a flame of two feet. Needless to say, she isn't left alone in the kitchen anymore.
"When I was about 12 or so..."
When I was about 12 or so, I made brownies from scratch. They came out liquid. Turns out I forgot to add the flour. (They still tasted great, we just ate them with spoons.)
"I watched a guy who worked for me..."
I watched a guy who worked for me try to make a grilled cheese by turning a pan on high and throwing the cheese in. He also couldn't make eggs or canned soup.
He was my overnight person at a group home and responsible for following the menu to make residents lunches for day program. I fired him, not just for that though.
"Saw a guy..."
Saw a guy grab the green handled pump at the gas station thinking it was the regular unleaded grade but it was actually the diesel pump.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.