Being a part of a wedding is high stakes, for better or worse. And the more complex it is, the more likely things will go wrong. Trust me--that's why I pretty much eloped. Crazy sh*t can go down when it comes to peoples' big day.
“But how bad can they be?" The answer to that is pretty freakin' horrific. Topdogkingchamp asked:
What's the worst thing you've witnessed at a wedding ?
Let’s dive in, and watch the train wreck go down. Via Reddit, of course.
Wedding slapstick is less funny than you think.
“Only horrible for one person. The main hostess for the reception of about 30 guests. She carried in the 3-tier wedding cake, rather than using a cart. She not only dropped it, but fell face first into it on the floor. First dead silence...then a few giggles....and then her emotional breakdown like I have never seen before.
She was completely devastated from both the embarrassment and ruining that special moment. We all eventually assured her that we're half drunk and don't care about the cake. The best part was that she easily collected $1000 more in tips than she would have had that not happened.”
A not-so-best man.
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“Was a wedding DJ for 7 years. DJ'd several hundred weddings. Seen a lot of stuff.
One horrible thing I've witnessed: I introduce the best man to give his speech and hand him the mic. He starts out by saying, (paraphrasing because this was years ago but pretty close to the quote IIRC) "Well, there were a lot of things that I didn't agree with in this relationship when it first started, and that I still don't agree with because it's seriously messed up and unbalanced and the dynamic is too one sided, etc. etc. (he's starring at the bride while saying this, proceeds to trail off)...... but......that's not why we're here today. We're here........ to celebrate the marriage between Jack and Ingrid.....so I just want to say congratulations, best of luck to you guys, etc. etc."
Everyone in the whole place was just looking around, glancing nervously at one another.
Afterwards the father of the groom or bride (can't remember which one) comes up to me and says, "Thank you for not cutting the mic. I saw you looking at the head table and at us for direction and when you didn't get it, you didn't act. I appreciate that because I think it would have been even more awkward if he had just been cut off and didn't get the chance to at least come back to congratulating them."
Most awkward compliment I've ever received.”
How rude.
“My dad taking pictures at my brothers wedding. It doesn't sound bad, but he was getting in the way of the photographer my brother hired. Ever pic he tried to take my dad was right beside him inching him out and pushing him out of the way. My brother and mom were both really pissed at him.”
Bad timing, dad.
“I've only been to one wedding and it was dad's cousin's wedding.
My dad's uncle (the groom's father) did a toast when the groom and bride were at the alter, and he said, "I'm glad I made it out here today. I just want you guys to know that I have cancer and I'm going to die soon. Congrats to my son and his beautiful bride. Enjoy your time!"
Everyone was in complete silence. It was the most awkward thing I've possibly ever witnessed.
FWIW, this was in 2008 and the groom's father is still alive."
[deleted]
At least they finished the ceremony.
“I've shared this before, and in the end it turned into a story to retell, but the pastor officiating my wedding had a heart attack, and my (now) wife and I caught him as he fell. We have video of my wife, in her wedding dress, consoling the pastor's wife, who was in tears behind the podium. One of my groomsmen is an ER doc and handled the situation well, and the pastor finally came back around. He was stubborn and insisted on finishing the ceremony (through the sound of sirens of the ambulance coming for him). Then my brother (best man) passed out minutes later. Apparently he had put on the wrong collared shirt and it was too tight around the neck. At least the EMTs had something to do while the pastor finished up.
My brother spun and handed the rings off to ER Doc groomsman as he fell, and my wife and I just busted up laughing at that point.”
Well, it can’t get any worse. That is, until the in-laws get involved.
Now that’s what I call a big yikes.
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“My time has come.
Good friends getting married; it was a medium-sized wedding (no more than 75 people, including the bridal party and groomsmen). The bride's sister-in-law is pissed off something mighty. It was a wedding and reception by a lake, and everyone knew the venue, so we dressed accordingly-- shirts and comfortable trousers, sundresses and sandals, etc. Sister-in-law is dressed like she's heading out for an evening of dinner and dancing. Sky-high heels, tight dress, rhinestones everywhere. She looks gorgeous! But it's not comfortable. And we're outside.
The ceremony is sweet... except for the words "F*cking bugs... f*cking pine needles, godd*mn dirt..." that's being picked up from the small (yet apparently mighty) microphone up front.
Right after the ceremony, we walk over to the gazebo/picnic area where the reception will be, and the sister-in-law starts lobbing her high heels at her husband, screeching about what an awful day it is, gashes her husband's eyebrow open. While people are scrambling to get him napkins because facial wounds bleed like a motherf*cker, and try to get him into a car to drive him the the hospital for stitches she decides to up the ante. She says "I can't take this anymore!" and throws herself off of the dock in a dramatic swan dive.
The problem is, the lake at that point was only four feet deep, and marshy, so instead of a suicide, she just sort of... bobs? along in the water because everyone's more concerned with her husband's eye/face. Sister-in-law's father just turns towards the lake, tells her to get her a** out of there and cut the sh*t.
They pile into two cars and drove off. It was surreal."
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Maybe ask for a ride next time.
“Bride and groom were 2 hours late to the wedding.
Neither one of them has a license, but had to have a wedding out in the woods. They never thought to contact anyone and ask for a ride to their wedding.
Of course they didn't pay the cell phone bill and it got shut off. Didn't matter because there was no cell reception where we were anyway.”
That bride is kind of a bad*ss.
“Ex girlfriend of the groom showed up at the wedding...uninvited and drunk. He broke up with her 10 years earlier, and has not seen her in over 8 years. She was loud and saying very perverted thing about what she wanted to do to the groom. The bride steps up, goes all out and punches the ex in the face... knocks the ex out cold.
The bride we know is a normally calm and peaceful person. A few of us carry the ex out of the reception and drop her at her apartment about 20 min away. Bride told my wife that ‘there is nothing that will ruin my wedding day’.”
That bride is right- never let anyone ruin your special day. These next few people should’ve had that mindset.
The poor bride.
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“My husband and I were invited to the wedding of a military buddy of his. We were running a little late, but weren't too worried. We got onto base and headed for the main chapel (there are three or four chapels on base). When we got to the main chapel, it was apparent that there was no wedding going on. Looked at the invitation again. It just said "Post chapel" and gave an address. So obviously, this wasn't the post chapel that the bride had intended and I whipped out my phone to look up the address. We drove to that part of the base and found the place. It was some sort of administration building, definitely not a chapel.
We were confused, but we found a building with "Chaplain's office" on the directory so we figured we'd been invited to some sort of civil ceremony. The building was locked. Now thoroughly confused and late at this point.
As we were wondering what we should do, we see an older gentleman in a tuxedo wandering around. He's pretty clearly in the same boat. Turns out he's the groom's father and he doesn't have any more idea what's going on than we do. After a few more minutes, a soldier arrives. He's the chaplain's assistant and he's looking for lost wedding guests (namely the groom's father). Turns out the bride put down the wrong address and the wrong chapel name on the invitation.
By the time we got to the wedding (which they had delayed because the groom's dad was missing), the bride was in tears. I felt so bad for her."
They finally started the wedding, and the chaplain gave an awkward sermon about "being clothed in Jesus' love" and lost his place several times. Finally, as the ceremony was over and the guests began to applaud, a bat fell down out of the ceiling and died.
Craziest wedding I'd ever been to."
Rule #1 of weddings: NEVER do this.
“At my friend's wedding reception, her little brother asks if he can have everyone's attention. We all think he's going to give a sweet surprise speech about his sister. When all eyes were on him, he turned to his girlfriend and said this whole wedding reminded him that he wanted to ask her an important question. Then he asked his gf to marry him.
She said yes but my friend yelled "OH HELL NO YOU DIDN'T!" and stormed out of her reception.”
“My parents had a pretty disastrous wedding. I wasn't there to witness it but my parents and the guests tell the stories all the time.
The wedding was in July, they were expecting a hot, sunny day but it ended up being a major downpour. My mother had a taxi scheduled to take her from her hotel to the church, due to the rain the taxi was super late. As my mother was waiting, in her wedding dress, she gets hit by a car. She gets knocked to the ground, but it wasn't hard enough to break any bones so she just walks it off. Unfortunately, her dress picked up a lot of the mud from her fall and a big chunk of lace was torn. It turns out the car that hit her was actually the taxi that was supposed to pick her up.
She finally makes it to the church, my father was in tears, on the verge of a nervous breakdown thinking that she wasn't going to show. Again, because of the rain, about a third of the guests didn't make it. The rest of the ceremony went ok.
At the reception, the hotel was understaffed due to the rain and the DJ couldn't make it (again, due to the rain) so the reception consisted of guests sitting around in a silent room waiting for food. A plus one soon decides that she is literally dying of hunger so she goes up and cuts a slice of the wedding cake for herself before my parents had taken pictures with the cake or sliced it.
On the positive side, later on they discovered that a restaurant in the hotel had a jukebox so the restaurant lets them move it into the banquet hall and they're able to pop in some quarters to get music playing.
It was a disaster at the time, but now they look back at it and laugh.
Edit: This was near Chicago around 40 years ago. They're no strangers to rain so I'm assuming it was some monsoon level storms or flooding... I never thought to ask."
The Goof!
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"A wedding I went to with my brother. It was his best friend's wedding and it was at this small town 15 minutes from me by a local lake. It's warm but it was beautiful that day and everyone was dressed up really nice."
"So they do the vows in front of the lake (with the photographer somewhere taking photos) and as they turn to face everyone else, the groom pulls out his phone super-fast and takes a selfie RIGHT there with his wife. She looked super shocked then shoved him and we all bust out laughing. He's a total goof and it was freaking hilarious."
- Lodur
Bride grabs a knife...
"Ooooh, I got one. I went to the wedding of two good friends. Bride was neglected/abused by her mum as a child, but decides to invite her as an attempt at reconciliation. So we're at the reception part of the evening. Mum is talking to Bridesmaid, and (no one knows what prompted this). Says to her "well I guess it's a good thing you can't have kids isn't it?" Bridesmaid bursts into tears, Bride grabs a knife to threaten Mum (someone stops her), Mum is bundled into car by her partner, and they disappear into the night."
6 Months Later...
"Definitely my friends wedding last year. They had only known each other for 6 months or so before they got married. She was Mormon, he was Atheist. We all thought it was really weird. The parents of the bride and groom hated each other. Two moms got into a verbal argument, then it because physical. I don't know who make the accusation, but one said they're only getting married because she's knocked up. Aaaaand she popped a baby out 6 months later trying to pass it off as a premee. Yea no."
- wtfapkin
How Depressing...
"I went to a wedding with my boyfriend a few years ago. his friend was marrying a woman that NO ONE liked. she was awful. during the ceremony we could all tell that the best man was uncomfortable. as soon as the ceremony ended the best man burst into tears for about 10 minutes and had to excuse himself."
"You could tell he just realized that is best friend was gone forever. we tried to cheer him up and reassure him that him and the groom would still be close, and that the bride wasn't too bad. Everyone present knew it was a lie and we were all just so depressed."
"Later, the bride came and yelled at our entire group (all of her husband's friends) because we weren't dancing enough. we weren't dancing because they had no DJ, just a short playlist with the couples favorite (not dance-y) songs being played on repeat. I think throughout the whole night we heard playlist start and end about 5 times."
Speechless...
"The rest of the groomsmen and I were hanging out in a room off the reception hall about 30 minutes before the ceremony started. The mother of the bride came in and asked us if we wanted her to give us all oral sex. She was a bad tweaker and was already drunk. None of us knew what to say."
- tmagnus
Not the Place
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"The usher was handing out little pamphlets, and as he did would let every single person know that he had just got engaged recently."
some random country crap...
"The DJ got so drunk that she couldn't even stand. She didn't have the brides wedding song, so a group of people all joined hands and tried to sing the song (some random country crap) for her and she just stood in the middle of the circle crying in her dress, and no one knew the lyrics. And her father got wasted and started a fight which ended with him destroying a stop sign with his fists. Let's not forget that us in the wedding party got picked up in a NASCAR stretch limo. Classy, classy, classy Florida."
- treylek
On the spot...
"Not witnessed by me, but my ex gfs mother. A relative of the bride had a heart attack while dancing traditional Greek songs (like a big half circle of people running, she was leading the circle) She died on the spot, rest of the party was canceled. It actually made the news."
Ummm....
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"The groom waiting at the end of the aisle all smiles and happiness until a bridesmaid came quietly walking down the aisle and pulled him aside to talk to him. The bride had run off."
- Kilen13
Here’s how to not f*ck up a wedding in three easy steps: don’t make it about you, be careful with the cake, and NEVER EVER propose to your partner at someone else’s reception. It’s tacky af.
After reading this, it confirmed that I’m so glad I eloped.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.