They say those who have it never talk about it; it's because they don't have to. When you have cash or confidence, you find it's something you don't have to prove. Now there are plenty of people who still feel like they have to, but that is for them and their therapists to discuss. Most people who are trying to hard to fake it are just trying to make others feel less then; to overcompensate. They need to be put on notice.Redditor u/Connect-Tea wanted to know how others have been able to tell if someone was faking finances by asking.... What screams "pretending to be upper class"?
Talking about how expensive everything you have is and how much money you have.
I've found the truly wealthy people don't feel compelled to talk about it constantly. tappytaps
A friend of mine said that a woman she had to deal with would spend $20 on something worth $10, and then tell her she spent $30 on it. fd1Jeff
My family was pretty well off (my dad was a doctor and my mom didn't work) and when I was a kid in middle school other kids would call us "rich" and things like that in a sort of derogatory way. My dad grew up extremely poor in Detroit, MI and we never were just given things so I didn't really think we were well off.
I remember asking my dad about it after kids kept bringing it up and all he said was "real rich people don't tell other people they're rich." Maybe it's just because he wasn't born into the wealth but that has always stuck with me as pretty much meaning that your amount of money doesn't/shouldn't define who you are as a person. thor0123
The I Do's....
Getting married in a big fat wedding by taking out loans, borrowing from friends. Plus, getting super expensive rings when you cant afford 1/10 of it. Archiver_test4
This may not be as bad as some of the other answers, but a friend of mine took out a loan for $250,000 (I promise, I am not exaggerating this number) to pay for her "dream wedding" to a guy she had known for 3 months. They got divorced after less than a year and she is still in debt from it. Yuli-Ban
My uncle and his wife are perfect examples.
They bought a brand new Mercedes that they can't afford, live in a house that's too big for them, bought a caravan in a park where the ground rental is nearly 50k a year, they bought their kids expensive ass bikes that were never used and what did they use to pay for all this?
If you guessed credit cards then you are correct. Credit cards and loans from my grandmother which they will never pay back.
Then they make fun of my mother and I for being working class. Might as well spit on my grandfather's grave since he was working class through and through. Matttaay2410
Definitely buying cars you can't afford. I'm solidly middle class and drive a Ford focus (don't buy one, they're crap) and a lot of people I work with (that make less than I do) roll in driving big expensive trucks or Mercedes cars. If I can't afford that, I know they can't. ASoft7
I heard salespeople at high-end shops can tell immediately if someone was actually wealthy in places like Rodeo Drive. Even if you dress up nicely and walk into a high-end store, they could pick you off as a normie. bingbangbaez
Oh... actual upper class story. Have a wine snob friend coming over for a party. So I bought the a cheap obscure wine (like $10 bottle) and when I cashed out I asked them to take the sticker gun and put $80 on it. My friend thought it was an amazing bottle of wine. kfh227
I had lots of customers like that. They'd gush over our house wine, and tell their dinner friends how special it is, the amazing taste, etc. Basically trying to act like a wine snob.
I used to get a sick pleasure, telling the folks at the table, that it was box wine. GarnetsAndPearls
All the Features....Giphy
When I sold cars for 5 years the people with the worst credit/income/finances were always trying to stretch to buy the most expensive & newest car. They were the easiest to impress with new features, special colors and performance specifications. The people with the best finances were always looking for a basic Corolla or Camry. They were usually replacing a 15 year old Toyota they handed down or sold online.
After having that experience whenever I hear someone say they "special ordered" a "special color" or that theirs "only x amount of this car made" I just think to myself that they are a sucker and probably have bad credit. And when I see someone driving an old beat up car I don't automatically think they are broke but instead I think they are probably hoarding cash and have a nice retirement ahead of them. oquechingados
Struggling to scrape together the minimum payments on a luxury car. ArthurOfVandelay
I work at an exotic car rental branch. I have plenty of customers that rent our cars and ask us to take the ID tags off the key ring (understandable). Then I have some that INSIST they get the same license plate each time and will flip out if I give them the same model as usual but with the plate one digit off. They're trying to make the appearance to whoever that they own the car and get themselves in a trap where they have to keep renting to keep up the illusion. That charade never lasts long. TigersNsaints_ohmy
The Rich did it....
Rich people on Instagram are probably mostly fake rich. Buying followers. If I were a billionaire, I would not want to be tagged partying on a yacht. Especially not in 2020. screenwriterjohn
Most mega rich people that can afford a yacht don't want people to find them through social media. RollTide16-18
Wearing brand clothes that have the huge name of the brand on them. I used to work in one of the brand stores and these were literally made for the lower class that wants to show off. More expensive and higher quality items never had this flexing on them. octokoala
Save the Spotlight....Giphy
Saw some guys at a stoplight in a convertible 6 series BMW with the top down blasting music and wearing expensive clothes. I can see his dashboard: every possible warning light was on. iqstick
Talking down to working class people. Don't get me wrong there are definitely snooty fool upper class people however in my interactions with them as a working class person in services they've always been extremely nice. My guess is because we both know who we are in "society" so there are no pretensions.
Fake upper class people have to completely reinforce the class divide. It had to be absolutely clear that they are and always have been above you. Part of me thinks its resentment at what they might have used to have been and the other part thinks it's how they think other upper class people behave. FagnusTwatfield
Taking out loans to get your family on a little vacation.
Taking out loans to get your family on a little vacation.
My friend is doing this. I told him to save up for a trip like that. Apparently stuff around the house is stressing both him and his SO so badly with their kids that they are fighting over taking out $20K or $30K to go on a vacation. One vacation. Then it's back to fighting and what not. Absurd. Imagine, knowingly going into debt to go on one vacation. They both work too which is even more baffling. VengefulRainbow
'pretending to be upper class'
We don't get anything that scream 'pretending to be upper class' in Australia at the moment, thanks to our mining sector; at the height of the boom, someone could leave High School, get some tickets, and pretty much walk into a 6 figure job on the mines. So the young man driving around in an expensive muscle car while covered in tattoos, slabs of beer in the back, may not be pretending, but could be a CUB (Cashed Up Bogan). AussieSkittles81
They all wish....
One of my husband's best friends comes from a filthy rich family (think, billions). We went to his wedding a few years ago and the social experiment that ensued was beyond fascinating.
The guests themselves were a mix of anyone from broke college kids (us) to doctors, to millionaires and billionaires. Some trends definitely emerged amongst the people who were obviously self-conscious about their wealth though.
They were frequently dismissive (and sometimes downright rude) to the serving staff. They made sure logos of their belongings were plainly in sight (your hotel room is literally connected to the reception venue, so I know you didn't need to bring your $1200 Canada Goose parka to dinner). They also made sure to talk loudly about their expensive plans for the future and highlighting any wealth-related attributes in the process ("Oh well, my girlfriend is graduating medical school next year, so we're starting to look at houses - mostly in the 800k-1mil range").
It was a stark contrast against the people who were comfortable with their social status (wealthy or otherwise) who were all just happy to be there, having fun, drinking alcohol and wholly unworried about which stranger they'll never meet again knows how much money they
wish they had.
edit: Is complaining about how expensive homes are in big cities in Australia a thing? Like, we all know decent housing is expensive in big cities across the globe, right? We also all know that the vast majority of new college grads cannot afford a million dollar home right off the bat, right? box_o_foxes
20 dudes who pooled their money to pay for ONE bottle service table at a Vegas club.
Source: was one of those dudes..... Mild__sauce
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.