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People Who Have Watched Their Partner Give Birth Describe What It Was Really Like

Zoom in on newborn baby's feet
Photo by Luma Pimentel on Unsplash

For couples who want to have children, the actual child-birthing process might be one of the most trying experiences the couple will ever go through together.

But while many of us think of the process of pushing and the physical messes of birthing the baby, there's actually a lot more to it, and the partners who witness their other half giving birth tend to remember far more about the experience than just the blood.


Redditor Asleep-Awareness5249 asked:

"Men who have watched their wives/partners give birth, what was that like?"

Hilarious Moments

"My wife cussed out the doctor. I was glad we were forced to wear face masks because I was cackling when she would let him have it in-between pushes."

- OkVolume1

Inopportune Phone Calls

"My wife's phone went off during a really painful procedure, and she yelled, 'Who the f**k is calling me!!!!???'"

"But to be fair, one does not need to go thru painful procedures in order to justify saying this every time the phone rings."

- Veritas3333

Sort of Fascinating

"I was holding my wife's hand through two c-sections, the first an emergency."

"There was a low green cloth screen to stop her (and me) from seeing the actual procedure, but I'm tall, so I could see over the top anyway. Fortunately, I'm not squeamish. It was like a butcher's shop window (except very interesting)."

"They had a radio on and the first kid came out to the sound of 'First Of The Gang To Die,' which was funny."

"It all worked out well, both kids are great, a fascinating and completely exhausting experience."

- catbrane

Absolutely Not Useless

"As someone who had a 36-hour labor that ended in a c-section, I can say that having a partner there for you is a godsend. I spent so much time with my eyes closed, drifting in and out, not able to acknowledge my partner but I knew he was there the whole time."

"He was the person that knew me best out of all the strangers that popped in and out of the room. He was my advocate and anticipated what I needed before I knew I needed it."

"After, he said he felt totally useless and helpless but that couldn't be further from the truth."

- Timetogoout

The Importance of Aftercare

"You're the cheerleader in this game. F**king play your part and feel useless."

"A father's REAL test is aftercare. While your wife is recovering from childbirth, you are to do everything, and I mean f**king everything, for her that you possibly can."

"Men who don't change dirty nappies are just f**king p**s-weak men, and even more so if they brag about it."

- BlazeVenturaV2

Terribly Scary

"Am I a bad person if I say horrific? It was a c-section and seeing her knocked out like that was one of the most disturbing images I can recall. I nearly cried on the spot."

- Dyn085

Childbirth on Fast-Forward

"Our first was 13 hours, giving us a false sense of security for the second. It was only three hours."

"My wife didn't do an epidural for #1 and said, 'I didn't need to do that. I'm getting it for the next one.' So we get to the hospital and said, 'Give me the epidural.'"

"They say we need to get settled in the room. By the time we got to the room, he was coming out. There was no time for anything; the docs had to scramble."

"All things considered, both deliveries were 'fine.' It's mind-boggling that that is the best-case scenario; they were the most intense days of my life."

- thugarth

Don't Skimp on Breakfast

"My wife was going into contractions but they were pretty far apart, so we drive down to the hospital, stopping for Egg McMuffins along the way. I dropped my wife off at the receiving area for delivery with some nurses and the midwife and then I went back out to move the car because I was in a 15-minute parking area."

"While I was moving the car, I looked at that Egg McMuffin I hadn't been able to eat yet and was like, 'I totally have hours before this baby comes out. I should eat this sandwich now and not like, in the delivery room as my wife was trying to push a baby out.'"

"So I ate the sandwich, moved the car, and went up to the delivery room."

"At the reception desk there, one of the nurses said, 'I think your wife just had a baby.'"

"And was like, 'Nah, you must be mistaken. I just arrived. WE HAVE HOURS.'"

"So I went to the delivery room and there was my son, fresh as could be, and my exhausted wife who had just given birth."

- doublerapscallion

A Traumatic Experience

"My wife was in labor for about 35 hours. When we got to the point where she was ready to push, my son’s heart rate started to plummet."

"We went from a single midwife in the hospital room with us, encouraging and owning the whole process, to a team of doctors (about 10 people) who came to help within two minutes. They performed an episiotomy and had to pull my kid out with forceps and the vacuum."

"My wife lost about 1.5 liters of blood, and I remember sitting there watching all of this and thinking they would both die and my whole world was crashing around me. She looked like a ghost and he looked like a bloody, bleeding little alien when he came out. They rushed him to the NICU and gave him oxygen."

"My son is now almost 3 years old, my wife made a full recovery, and they are both the best people I know. It can be a traumatic experience for everyone involved, but f**k me if I don’t look back on it and remember what a warrior she was and what a fighter he is."

- upark88

New Admiration

"I saw a strength in my wife I don't think either of us knew she had. It was an incredible experience, and I was so proud of my wife and child. I'm glad they still keep me around."

- Druzl

Feeling Irrelevant

"This is really my experience in the maternity ward. You are 'dad' and you will carry bag and get water. Not because you are actually needed to carry these bags that could fit on this cart, or get the water from the sink over there that literally takes more time to explain where the cups are."

"But you need a job to keep you occupied, so get moving."

"I've never been so 'handled' before in my life, and I knew it was happening, but f**k if I was going to mess up the process and make them focus on anything besides my wife and kids."

"Nurses are the most amazing, and most evil things ever."

- mwbbrown

New Appreciation for Life

"With our firstborn, I had three primary thoughts:"

"1. Thank god for modern medicine, or both my wife and son would be dead."

"2. My wife is a godd**n warrior."

"3. I have a whole new appreciation for my own mother."

"Every birth is a medical emergency, and every successful birth is a miracle. Simple as that to me."

"A planned c-section for our second was much smoother."

- leftcoastbias24

Lonely and Helpless

"The loneliest and most helpless feeling in the world. She had to undergo an emergency C-section and went under shortly after they started. The head doctor made the call to not let me in the room, so I was stuck watching through a small window."

"The little man came out purple and not breathing and my wife was limp. For about five minutes, nobody came out to speak to me and I was quite certain both of them were dead."

"Then I heard him scream and cry and one of the nurses rushed him over to my wife and held him against her cheek. Shortly after that, the nurse handed him to me and said that both my wife and him were perfectly healthy. To say it was the largest range of emotions my mind and body had ever experienced is an understatement."

"We felt like we were prepared for anything during labor, but the emergency c-section really threw us off. Happened so fast. Luckily everything worked out, but it was pretty scary for a while there."

- AdvancedGentleman

Something Out of an '80s Movie

"It's kind of like the movie 'Aliens' but entirely based around a vagina."

- Digreth

A Message to Fathers

"So, I'm the wife. And we didn't get to take our babies home, but I delivered stillborn twins a few months ago."

"My husband said exactly the same as many fathers here, that he felt so helpless watching me give birth."

"But to me, that man standing there and holding my hand was exactly what I needed. It was both medically and emotionally traumatic, but I remember feeling calm and purposeful because I knew what needed to be done, and I knew that I was the only one who could do it."

"What I needed from him was his presence. He didn't leave me alone. He didn't run from any of it, and I think he saw more of the blood and such than I did (I was a little doped up and had my eye closed for the actual delivery)."

"I could do that, keep my eyes closed and focus on what my body was telling me, BECAUSE he was there holding my hand. I didn't need to be on high alert, because he was there. His presence and my trust in him helped me do the hardest thing I have ever done in my life."

- what_ho_puck

Whether the birthing process was really long or really short, whether it was complicated or straight-forward, many partners had shared experiences of being overwhelmed, of being proud of their wives, and of feeling like there was hardly anything they could do.

At least for the women who chimed in, though, them being there might have been the most helpful part.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.