Kids are weird, man. If you don't believe me, you should have tried hanging out with that classmate I knew in fourth grade who'd eat worms and actually liked Seinfeld. Those were dark times.
"Parents of Reddit, when was the moment where you went 'Damn, my kid is weird as shit'?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor [deleted] and it turned out to be a hilarious opportunity for parents to vent about their children.
One of these times:
When my son was 3 or 4, his great grandmother was getting rid of her Mr. Coffee, because it had stopped working. My son really really wanted the machine (minus the pot). So we cut the electrical cord off and gave it to him. He slept with it that night.
Another time, when he was a little older, we were going out, and I didn't have time to pick out clothes so I told him to pick his own outfit. He chose a plaid shirt, shorts with a different plaid, red cowboy boots, and one of those beanie hats with a propeller on top. (We later found out he was colorblind, but that doesn't explain this particular fashion choice.)
That kid is a 30-year-old man now, and I couldn't possibly love that weird, wonderful dude more.
"Xavier of course..."
My kid has this creepy imaginary friend when he was about 3 years old. He claimed there was a ghost named Xavier living in his room and he was a kid who'd died in the house. It was super, duper creepy because he would sit having conversations with him. Didn't help that certain family members already thought our house at the time was haunted (total nonsense).
Xavier of course disappeared the moment he started preschool and started hanging out with kids his own age, as most imaginary friends do. He says he doesn't remember him now but he has always had a bit of a creepy imagination.
"My daughter gathered everyone..."
My daughter was in Girl Scouts. One meeting all her fellow scouts showed off special talents, and things they could do. One brought her LEGO collection which was pretty impressive. Another brought her dog who she helped train with her parents. At this point I was excited to see what my daughter would contribute.
My daughter gathered everyone in a circle around her so they could all see her clearly. You could feel the anticipation in the air. She was getting them pumped for something amazing.
She proceeded to hock the biggest "loogie" I had ever seen, and made it "dance" up and down above the floor. Not once did it touch the floor. She then sucked it back up and said "tada."
She makes life interesting.
-Corrected the made up word "lugy", with the proper spelling of "loogie".
Not only can't I dangle one, but turns out I can't spell it either.
"So she sat in front of him..."
When my daughter was 4 or 5, I caught her with a toy microphone trying to interview our cat. He was a really good cat, always relaxed and would pretty much let you do whatever to him (as long as he wasn't hurt).
So she sat in front of him for a good 10 minutes asking him questions like, "How do you feel about being a cat? Oh, very interesting! Do you like to meow?" And like the good boy he was, he just sat there and kept her entertained.
She's 10 now and is a bit of a weirdo with her sense of humor. Says a lot of just odd things (light hearted though, not concerning weird), but I am the same way. We keep each other laughing and having fun with the stupid shit that we say and do, trying to out weird each other.
My daughter went with skeletons for her three year old obsession. Not bubble guppies, not Elmo... skeletons. She slept with a little figure she found at Michael's and BEGGED for with all her little heart. She told me she liked how they "smile." shudder
"But my youngest..."
I love my children. But my youngest might have needed a little more cooking time. Two days ago I finished a gallon of a milk. Rinsed it and was going to put it in the recycling bin. "Oh. Can I have it?" I gave it to him. He looked at it. Said "nice" and ran out of the room. I think I'm raising Creed.
Yesterday when he stuffed a fruit gummy in his belly button and ran around like a chicken. I think isolation is getting tough for him.
We just watched Frozen 2. My daughter (4) has decided that since Elsa is the fifth spirit, there must be more spirits. She's certain that the 6th spirit is the skin spirit.
"The bunny rabbit movie..."
When my daughter was about 2 years old her favorite movie was "the bunny rabbit" movie. The bunny rabbit movie was the old 70s Watership Down with all the violence and cartoon blood. She loved it and wanted to watch it every night. Now she's a teenager and mostly normal but still watches horror movies. I love my little Wednesday Addams.
"My daughter loves to drink..."
My daughter loves to drink "milk water". She'll put about a finger of milk in the bottom of a glass then fill the rest up with water. She loves the stuff. I'm pretty sure I'm raising a serial killer.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.