When we are little, we totally swear that we won't make the same "mistakes" our parents made raising us.
But then the time comes to be parents ourselves...and it's not as easy as we thought it was in the first place. Nothing gives you sympathy for your own parents quite like having to become a parent in your own right.
Which is why sometimes, it's hard to keep those promises we made to ourselves.
u/PeevesPoltergist asked:
Parents of Reddit: What did you swear you wouldn't do as a parent, that you've done at least once?
Here were some of those answers.
Lycanthropic Adolescence
GiphyI hated being a teenager, so I promised that when I had a teen of my own that I'd be the chillest parent ever and always understand. But GodDAMN, I get frustrated sometimes. And despite my best efforts, sometimes I just can't understand where they're coming from.
Housing a teen is like housing a werewolf. They can be so calm and rational until suddenly they're not. They're voraciously hungry but don't want dinner. They sleep through daylight and you find them up at 3 a.m.
Peace And Quiet
Give in to what they want for an hours peace.
Same. Sometimes I'm too tired to fight against my daughter's incessant "Snack, mummy! Snack, mummy!" and just give her the damn snack so I can have 2-3 blissful undisturbed minutes.
Mini, Yet Mighty
Drive a minivan. But damn are they smooth and convenient.
Not worrying about kids flinging doors open into parked cars reduced my stress tenfold.
Diplomacy
Generally, my mom didn't use the, "Because I said so" excuse. But I remember one time she did and I was so annoyed and baffled by it. I promised I'd never use that excuse.
Looking back at it, the reason she used it was because I was asking to go do something I'd done a thousand times with a friend who had not. The friend would have definitely screwed it up and the friends mom was sitting there while I was asking.
"Because I said so" was a better than saying, "Because I think Mike will screw it up" in front of Mike's mom.
Worse Than Congress
Resort to bribery. Lol. I was completely ignorant.
We Have No Identity But Mom
Refer to my wife as mom.
If I call my husband by his name, so does the 2 year old. So now I call him "daddy" in the most sarcastically sexy voice I can and I think he hates it more than our daughter calling him by his first name.
Peace, For Just A Moment
Put my kids to bed when it's still light outside. I remember being put to bed during the summer and still being able to hear kids playing outside and just being so mad about that. Now 8:00 rolls around and my kids are mad that they're being put to bed when the sun is still up because they've been going full force since 6 am, and I haven't had a break all day from small humans asking me for things.
Just Wears Ya Down
I promised myself that I would always answer every question that my kids ask and that I wouod never lose my cool after the 10,000th question.
I've lost my cool once and never will again. Mostly now if I get overwhelmed I'll just say 'you sure do ask a lot of questions, buddy' and that usually shuts them up for a minute so I can take a deep breath.
Sham Trips To Prove Points
I didn't think I would be so deceptive but sometimes it's like negotiating with a Terrorist. Here ya go mamas.... I had a long road trip to go on ...13 hours to their cousins house in Oregon. I told them there would be no fighting or we weren't going. (Kids know that's an idle threat) I knew they were going to squabble and act up and I was flying solo, so I got them packed up and we started out. Not 5 minutes down the road and it started. "He's not sharing!" "That's it I told you not to fight."
Got home marched them to their rooms. A week later we left and wow not a peep! We weren't going that week anyway, my evil plan worked! You're welcome.
We Just Gotta Go
GiphyWhen leaving and trying to get my son to come with me, "Bye!"
Done the same lately. It gets my youngest scrambling to the front door shoes and all when she didn't take me seriously she first time. I feel that she legitimately thinks I'll leave without her, but damn does it get the job done when we're in a rush.
Curious to hear from strangers online who never saw themselves in their current positions in life, Redditor graces-taylor12 asked:
"What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?"
The following Redditors were not ready to process the inevitable when it came to their parents.
A Role Reversal
"Watching your parents becoming old and frail."
– Mrbusybaconandeggs
"Dealing with this yesterday and it is an eye-opener. Its hard seeing someone you’ve known as a pillar of strength for 30+ years in a position of such weakness, and knowing that he might improve but generally the decline is coming."
– Rook1872
Age-Defying
"I've had a weird atypical experience. My dad was pretty old when I was born and always had a bad knee he could never afford to get fixed. He could barely walk and has never been able to run since I could remember. It got so bad that he couldn't even walk up or down the stairs in our house."
"Well he eventually got a knee replacement and he's now more agile at 73 than he was at 53. It's weird to see."
– Downtown_Skill
Sad Epiphany
"I'll never forget when I first realized how frail they actually were. I went over to their house to help out with some chores, and they couldn't even clean out any of the pens by themselves. They ended up selling most of their animals that year because they couldn't look after them."
– thecanadiancowboy
Life Can Be Cruel
"It’s slowly beginning with my parents, small hints here and there, they’re in their mid 50s.The big freak out for me has been watching my grandparents slowly declining over the last 3ish years. One set of grandparents have been gone since I was a kid, so these two are all I’ve got now. My Pap’s arthritis and sciatica is to the point now where it’s a process for him just to stand up. 2020 I saved him from a fall, if I wasn’t there to catch him, he would’ve easily been in the hospital for quite a while. That was the first 'Oh sh*t, he’s not immortal' moment."
– NoinePiecesOfVinyl
These Redditors discovered older doesn't always mean wiser.
Wake-Up Call
"I can do whatever the f'k I want. But I don't really want to do anything..."
– IcarusWax
"Yup, the idea of doing whatever you want as an adult was the biggest scam cartoons sold us."
"Yeah, you can do anything you want but you're gonna need money. So you get a job, there goes most of your day to your job."
"So now you have money but that'll go to bills first and by the time you can do what you want you don't have the energy or funds. Then the loop continues.."
– JimmyJackJericho
Fake It Til You Make It
"How clueless other adults are. I really thought adults had their sh*t in order while in reality most people are winging it."
–= xepci0
"Maturity is a skill. Some people learn it quickly. Others never do."
"Children are limited by their youth. Their brains aren't fully developed. But adults are not guaranteed to get more mature without working for it."
"Some people never grow up. They just get old."
– snapwillow
Being Independent
"I'm surprised by the amount of people who genuinely couldn't live by themselves if they had to. They somehow never learned basic life skills like simple cooking or cleaning and always had someone else to do it for them."
– CliffExcellent123
People became more aware of time.
Not Enough Me Time
"How little free time you have. You have to work, you have to prepare for work, drive to work, drive home from work. You also have to do household chores. You have to take care of kids if you have some. When do I get to enjoy my hobbies?"
– lllSnowmanlll
Point Of Exhaustion
"Most of the time I'm so tired from the day, I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything but go right to bed and watch tv ;_;"
– WitherWithout
Never Going Back
"Transitioning from college student + part time worker to full time worker I gained a bunch of time back. I was shocked that I could just decide to do laundry tomorrow if I didn't feel like it. Every evening I had this huge chunk of time that was just open."
"But then, moving from an apartment to a house, now there's a bunch more chores to do. Then introducing kids, now there's all that. But still, I wouldn't go back to the hectic college life."
– civilwarcorpses
Marking Time
"How it just goes on endlessly."
"When you're a kid, there's a summer break every year, and a new school to go to in a couple of years. Whatever part of your life you are in is clearly delimited and there is something new to look forward to after it."
"Once you're an adult, it's just 5 days of work and 2 days of weekend over and over and over until you die."
– Suitable_Mistake2208
After having a decent, long run in the entertainment business as a dancer, I've long held the belief I was invincible.
I was physically stronger, more agile, and foolish enough to think I could perpetually live in such a state.
All of a sudden, reality smacked me in the face one morning when I woke up and heard and felt various parts of my body crackle and pop like when milk hits a bowl of Rice Krispies.
My tired body had the audacity to inform me:
"Not today and from this day forward."
We're currently not on speaking terms.
Redditor AdRealistic03 wanted to discuss the shocking things we've all learned about our armed forces, so they asked:
"What are some NSFW secrets about the military?"
The military is littered with secrets, and I love secrets. Tell me more...
Hey Girl
Fight Dance GIF by tv2norgeGiphy"Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard:"
"'Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet.'"
Tak_Jaehon
Baby Guards
"Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers."
it_helper
"Navy is the same. The guy that Naruto runs to the galley is the same one that stands watch over the nuclear reactor."
satanyourdarklord
"Lowest ranks pull guard duties more often."
"Who's the lowest rank? That baby faced 18 year old who just joined up."
"Guard duties are up there as one of the most bone taskings going."
Daewoo40
The Side Hustle
"Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from."
Lazy-Plum-19
"I was our unit's drug test guy. I smoked weed every day because I obviously would not drug test myself. I was also really good at it so they wouldn't give the job to someone else. I could get our tests done and completed without mistakes in like 1/5 of the time of my predecessor. Didn't sell drugs, but I've given plenty away."
Changnesia_survivor
Oh My
"Swingers exist on every single base in the world, in Sigonella, they would use different boxes of detergent in the windows to show what they were into and what age range they were looking for. Patrolling the housing area became much more interesting when you see who lives in the houses and what they’re into."
catfartzz
Multi-Purpose
Hungry Labor Day GIF by BounceGiphy"The food boxes that come in literally say 'For prison and military use only.'"
BlackLotus8888
"My husband was watching a documentary with people in prison and was like hey we have the same blankets on the ship."
PricklyPix
No matter who eats it, it's been said nobody thinks any of that food tastes good.
How many?
Oh My Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I was selected 6 times in a row to be a urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 penises involuntarily."
Jarhead-Coffee
Bad Intentions
"The number of people who get sick and tired of being in the service who will go out and do some drug or another to get kicked out. During our Iraq/Afghanistan years, you wouldn't believe how many people would purposely pee hot or, females would intentionally get pregnant to get out of going."
Blackhawk-388
Not Sexy
"A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly well, you can’t inspect everything, so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare into your anus to check you for ticks in there. Not very glamorous."
Litenpes
Health Issues
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Looooooottttts of chlamydia."
Triatomine
"My unit in Okinawa had the highest STD rate for the island. I was so glad I wasn't a part of any of that."
FightingNymph
Trashed
"Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED."
"I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the s**t off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with sh*t that fish are eating and dying on."
eyehate
Sounds like there is A LOT of fraternization in our Armed services.
Be careful out there.