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Sometimes, it's the simple things that give us the most trouble.

We can carry a job, manage a complicated schedule full of work, friendship, family, and romance, but we can't do the little things here and there.


Maybe it comes down to priorities: the big stuff is so significant we simply must have that nailed down to lead a satisfying life.

So the minor things sometimes get pushed aside. But every so often, a situation arises that calls attention to our inability to handle that very mundane task.

A recent Reddit thread explored some examples.

anonymouspapayaz asked, "What is one 'ordinary' thing that you can't do?"

Many Redditors set their sights on the social realm. They discussed the social behaviors they just can't seem to navigate, and clearly implied how much they'd prefer to have those locked down.

Alas, with the pandemic they have some time to practice.

One In, One Out 

"Remember names. It's like I have only so many slots for people's names and when I learn a new one, an older one needs to go."

"Can get embarrassing."

-- Armchairengineer1960

Spontaneity Only 

"I'm a pretty funny guy but can't tell a joke to save my life" -- evanallenrose

"How many men walking into lightbulbs does it take to change a bar... Wait let me start over" -- SchuyWalker

"Like you just casually say funny things? I think I'm the same, I think I'm relatively funny, but when I do it on purpose I can't say it without laughing" -- rice_yummy

Anywhere But There 

"Engage in appropriate eye contact." -- Amiiboid

"I've been guilty of this one my whole life. It's reflex to not look at people. Especially when I'm the one speaking."

"I didn't even notice I did it until I was talking to a therapist about how to manage stress more efficiently and within 5 minutes of the first session he pointed it out."

"Everyone I ever talk to regularly just got used to it as something I did and never bothered paying it mind." -- ShuyWalker

Others described the basic life skills they have yet to incorporate into their skill sets. They don't always come up, but when they do, these absences can be a real pain.

Always Lost 

"I have a lot of trouble with directions and maps. I can't process it, mostly. I can't do geometry either so I think that's related."

"Ironically I'm a very very good Tetris player tho so I have some spacial reasoning skills but I can barely read a fucking map."

-- LoveAndDynamite

Probably Wise 

"Drive. I'm paralysed with fear when I'm in control of a killing machine." -- Bagners

"same, and people always insist i should drive because 'you'll get used to it' or 'you're already a better driver than most out there.' "

A Safari Of Social Norms 

"Dating. It seems like it's relatively simple for most people, but I've always had horrible luck with it."

"I'm 26 and I've never been on a date, I just figure there's something wrong with me."

-- SupaKoopa714

Never Understood 

"My handwriting is so bad my wife usually can't even read it. And we've been together over 20 year's."

"I forgot, my spelling is worse."

-- BrickBait_alt

Finally, some people described the more bizarre "skills" and abilities that came to mind. These likely won't be much of a problem any time soon.

Nonetheless, these Redditors would love to be able to do them.

Close Enough 

"I have a buddy that can't burp. He can pretty much fart on command though." -- SniffCheck

"Wow, he managed to take his skill points from burping to farting" -- Insertstalem3me

"My friend likes to fart and say: 'can you hear me now?' I hate that it still gets me." -- Dregoralive

Practice, Practice, Practice 

"Can't do that whistle thing where you make it louder using your thumb and index finger." -- BoysenberryEasy3653

"You have to bend your tongue back over itself and put your two sets of fingers in pressed again each on top of your folded tongue. As you blow your lips will naturally tighten round your fingers so don't worry too much about them."

"Finger tips should be meeting in a V formation. Change the V angle of your fingers meeting until you hear a whistling noise, try both widening and narrowing the V. It will probably be quite faint at first."

"It works easiest with your index and middle finger from each hand. Once you get you'll be able to do with any 2 sets of finger combo (e.g. thumb + pinkie on same hand or even separate)."

"It took me a good 10 mins from being shown to being able to do it. Just keep trying till you get it."

Forever Silent 

"Blow a bubble with gum" -- cynical_pragmatism

  1. "Chew gum til soft
  2. Tongue condom
  3. Use lips to firmly grip tongue condom
  4. Blow" -- HeartXUnderXBlade


Now think about yourself. What minor things can you just not seem to wrap your head around?

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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.

Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.

U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?

​Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.

Was it worth it?

peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy

He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.

Memoryduel

Scientific method:

> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'

> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended

> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended

> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended

Glez_fdezdavila_

Uhhh what was the intention here?

He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.

Kurtles12

​Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.

Boom theret.

At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."

So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.

Angusthedangus

I hope there was no overlap in the columns.

Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy

She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.

Fun-Acadia-8735

2 separate lists or just the 1?

OppositeYouth

Same list 2 columns lol.

Fun-Acadia-8735

Holy crap.

Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.

This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.

Roberted1982

​Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.

Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.

Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.

A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.

Theonering1

Every school had the cat girl.

cat dragging GIF Giphy

The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.

Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.

SendmePMsofyourBMs

Mood.

Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.

Iheartrevolution

I was exactly this kind of weird.

He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.

The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.

10per

I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man