People come and go, that is just a fact of life. The older you get you realize, it's a sad fact. I know we all come and go for a reason. You know, everyone you meet, you meet for a reason. They may stay or go, but it's all about what they teach you for the moment. Even if the moment was meant to be fleeting, once an impact is made, it leaves a mark that can leave a longing.
Redditor u/jillysue wanted to chat about those people who still leave a hole in our hearts by asking... Of the people who are still alive but have drifted out of your life, who do you wonder about the most and why?I have been doing theatre for over a decade. I've lost count of the number of shows I've done. Which means I have no idea the amount of actors I've worked with. Or the amount of humans I've connected with. And the number of souls I've shared with. There are so many I miss. And even if I can't remember their names, clearly I'm not alone....
Buddy
best man nbc GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphyMy buddy from 1993-2003. He was a part of my daily/weekly life for an entire decade. I was the best man at his wedding. He married a lovely woman and she and I were even friends.
They moved away to a new town and started a family. We last went to a ballgame together in 2011. I never heard from him again after that. In that 10 years I was sure we would be friends for life. I did not expect that we would drift apart, but it happened.
The Kid at 15...
Kid I knew when I was 15. We weren't close friends, but he called me up in the middle of the night once to tell me he was going to kill himself. He hung up on me and wouldn't answer his phone after that.
I woke up my mom and convinced her to drive me to his house at like 3 am. He came out and was fine, he was just completely shocked I actually came to check on him.
He was really thankful that I cared at all. His home life was pretty crummy and he moved away to stay with his grandma soon after that. After he moved out of state we lost touch. That was 20+ years ago and I still wonder if his life got better. I hope he did.
Shannon
When I was seven years old, I had a best friend named Shannon. One day she didn't come to school, and nobody answered at her house when my mom called. A month later I got a phone call from her and she said they had to go away and she missed me, then the call cut out like someone took the phone and hung up on her. I never heard from her again.
I assume she and her family went into witness protection or something similar. I hope they made it through and she grew up okay.
Hey Friend
Forrest Gump Flirting GIF by MOODMANGiphyA good friend of mine that I've known since 4th grade.
His mother died from Huntington's and he tested positive for the gene for it which means, as far as I am aware, he can get it. I know he's done well for himself over the years but he still creeps into my mind from time to time wondering how he is.
I Just Knew
Once was with a guy in my wedding. Good friends but he moved far away. He came back for the wedding but never really saw him since. It was kinda a lesson in life that people don't just kinda stick in your life they are either there or not.
Another friend, best friend from high school.
Was in his wedding around 10 years after high school. Driving back I realized I was probably never going to talk to him again and haven't. I just knew. I'm very grateful for our friendship and somethings are just meant for a certain time.
See there? Everyone has that someone or three. Whether it's family, friend, teacher or stranger... each soul we pass by has an imprint to leave. Let's hear about more...
Hoon
When I was a child and living with my parents, we rented our basement to a man named Hoon.
He was super nice to us and even tutored my brother and I in school. The coolest thing was that he was super into astronomy and every so often, he set up his telescope in our backyard to look at stars and the moon and invited us to look as well. He became like family to us and when my parents decided to tear down our house and build a new place.
Hoon came along with us to live in a temporary space until the house was built, and then moved back to our new house as our tenant again. During this period, Hoon also drove my brother and I to school as we were not living within walking distance from our temporary space. After 1-2 years, one day my parents said that Hoon moved back to Malaysia and we never saw him again.
My then friend, who was another one of our tenants, told me that Hoon died and my parents were lying to me. I asked my parents about this but they said that isn't true. I think my then friend was just messing with me. I always wondered why he suddenly moved and haven't been able to find any online presence of him.
A Question...
His nickname was Question. Kid from high school used to come sit with us at lunch. Great guy, super nice.
Every. Single. Thing. He. Said. Was. A. Question?
He would ask you about your entire day.
Where you got your new shoes. Ask about your haircut. I would ask him the same questions and he wouldn't answer me, kind of stare off and almost ignore the question completely. Then he would ask you another question.
Oh Brother
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphyRunescape user Lonewolf1039. You made my childhood amazing, bro. Countless hours playing one of my childhood favorites with an online friend. We called each other brother.
If you're still out there, MK Groudon misses you, man.
Off the Earth
When I went backpacking around SE Asia I went with no particular plans. I ran into a Polish paratrooper my second day there who used me to get a couple of girls to go out for drinks with him (us) since I said "hey" to him earlier in the day. He wasn't going anywhere in particular either so we spent the next two months on the road going to 5 different countries.
The guy was literally my brother for those two months.
We parted ways when I had to go to a country he couldn't get a visa for and it was where I was to catch my flight home. We still talked daily for a few weeks and we were talking about starting a business then he falls off the face of the earth. I'm positive his dad was a someone so he didn't talk much about certain aspects of his life.
He didn't have any social media and he didn't renew the domain he hosted his email on so no way of contacting him. Even friends who we met along the way frequently ask if I've heard from him since they wanted to connect with him again.
I keep hoping one of these days we'll run into each other at a cafe or something by the waterfront having a beer like we did traveling.
X & Y
Happy Fun GIFGiphyI made a lot of questionable choices in my later teen years and early 20s, before I was capable of using solid judgment. I wonder about the people I unintentionally hurt, and I wonder if I should apologize a decade later.
I wonder what they would feel or think if I crossed their minds. I wonder if they've forgiven me and considered giving me the benefit of the doubt, or if they'll always remember me as "the one who did x" to them or "didn't do y." I feel a lot of regret and it still brings me a lot of shame and I let it hold me back a lot.
Bye Girl
I worked with a girl back in my early 20s when I was still in the service industry. We would hang out pretty regularly. I had a bit of a crush on her. I really thought there may have been something there...
Anyways. She stopped showing up to work. Everyone just assumed that she had quit. She was a bit of a wild child. Moved around a lot and had a bunch of different serving jobs.
So nobody really thought twice about it. (People just stop showing up all the time in that line of work.)
A few weeks later we found out that her family/police had been searching for her. Apparently she disappeared. Still think about it a lot actually. I'm guessing she's dead. But you never know.
I'm Good. Thanks Lady...
I often wonder what happened to the girl that hit me with her car that icy night and took my leg. It's been over 25 years now and I don't hold any animosity towards her (never did, it was just an accident). I hope she went on to have a good life. Mine has had it's ups and downs but I'm in the best place I've ever been now. I'd just like to have the chance to reassure her that I'm doing fine.
The Spaz...
In third grade, there was this black kid (only one in our grade) who was absolutely hilarious. He was a complete spaz and the whole class ate it up. Then one day he gave out invitations to his birthday party at some arcade, mini golf, and go kart place. Every kid's dream. The popular girl in the class laughed and said "why would I go to this?" and threw out the invite. Several classmates followed.
The day of the party comes, and it turns out it was literally his family and me that showed up. He didn't seem to care, but you could see the hurt in his parent's eyes. Honestly, that party was an absolute blast because it meant more tokens for each of us.
After that school year ended, his family moved to DC and I never saw him again. I still think about him sometimes to this day. Kids can be so cruel.
Joy Boy
Happy Best Day Ever GIFGiphyMy best friend from elementary school. He was so genuine and full of joy. I hope growing up didn't take that part away from him.
Call me Stephanie...
I was about 12 when there was this girl in my class who would talk to me when I was bullied badly at that point in my life. At first I thought it was a trick to bully me but she was genuine and actually talked to me like I was human. Of course I instantly crushed on her but aside hormones, she really was a kind hearted person who was pretty intelligent.
She always seems to be resourceful by adapting to any situations and just had this optimism that i haven't seen before.
On the day last day of school I was trying so hard to ask her for her number because I really felt like she was a friend and just a wonderful person in general. But I was too nervous and we both stared at our shoes for a little while before bidding farewell.
Man I really wonder how u been Stephanie, I really do hope u have an amazing life because u deserve it more than anyone I know.
A New Life
A friend of mine was going on a canoeing trip once and never got back, a view months later he was declared dead because he couldn't even be found by Interpol. Two years go by and he appears in a picture on Facebook, as German teacher in a school in Kazachstan. Apparently only his sister was in on the fact that he just wanted to start a new life. Hope he's doing well and wish to see him again some day!
In & Out
I had a friend in high school, he was an extremely talented artist, singer, comedian, and actor who could have built a successful career out of his talent. But he turned his back on that and decided to just slack off and smoke pot for a few years. Then one day he disappeared. Ended up some years later in a Central Asian country. He disappeared again. Then a few years later he resurfaced back in the US. Every few years he would pop back into the lives of our old circle of friends, and vanish. Then last summer he died of Covid, still relatively young.
The Butterfly...
There was a girl with a speech impediment when I was in 1st grade. I thought she was cute and would love to hang out with her on the swing sets. Nobody talked to her because they were either shy or felt she was mentally disabled.
Our class did a butterfly project where we were all given a caterpillar to raise. They came in these little plastic containers and hers ended up dying. I switched mine with here without her noticing and told the teacher mine died instead.
The teacher got me to partner with somebody else and I was okay with sharing. The girl was really happy to see the caterpillar become a monarch and released that Spring.
I never told her what happened to the caterpillar and she eventually moved never to be found again. I tried to search her on social media but no luck.
Weird how that still crosses my mind now and then. This was 2001 for me.
Casanova...
casanova GIF by Rayland BaxterGiphyI got married very young. My wife and I were friends with another young couple.
They broke up right after their first kid and then the husband went out and got two other women pregnant. 19 years old, divorced and 3 kids with 3 different women. I'm 41 now. We rarely fight but when my wife and I have a fight I think about him.
Ben is Gone
Benny. He was my best friend for a long time. We were closer that I was to my real brother. Then he and my brother's girlfriend fooled around and messed everything up. We parted ways, I got clean and went to school. He stayed in it and lived the life I always thought I wanted.
Now, his family never mentions him on social media and I don't know where he is. I hope he's OK. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.
What is the biggest takeaway from this read? You never know the impact you leave on another person. A moment is a moment, it's intimate, and the connection is real. Embrace the connection while you have it. Time is fleeting and that makes it our enemy. Enjoy each person you connect with, remember, every goodbye may be forever.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.