I've lost a few besties. Some through death. Some through personal growth and some just because it was time. That was an important lesson. Just like lovers, friends also outgrow one another.
I'm Exhausted
I Cant Modern Family GIF by HULUGiphy"I got tired of it being all about her all of the time. I couldn't tell her anything in my life good or bad because she would make it about herself." ~ Wide-Fig-1063
Jake
"He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly."
"He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn't feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake." ~ FormerLurker3
No explanation...
"Best friends since we were 12. Best Man at my wedding when we were 28. Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again. No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered. He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends. Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive." ~ Tionek
Trauma Tales
"I had a weird dynamic to continue because of trauma. We had been friends for most of our lives (26 years) and every conversation was all about her. I was fine with that because she had a traumatic childhood and I knew she wasn't super socially with it. I'm happy to listen when my friends need it."
"Then she just unloaded on me saying I wasn't listening enough to her problems and how I had mistreated her by not asking enough pointed questions about abuse she had suffered as a kid. This was days after a three hour call where she did all the talking and it was mostly about her abuse."
"I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was "do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?" I haven't spoken to her since." ~ keepinitcornmeal
It's Weird
Friends Tv GIFGiphy"His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn't let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart." ~ mycowild
Yeah, beware the partner of a loved one who is trying to trap you in a scandal. They are shady. Take that drama and run fast and far.
Why?
Peering Looking GIF by MOODMANGiphy"No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying." ~ NagromTrebloc
Jared
"It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting. At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it."
"He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead. I couldn't process what he was saying."
"I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner." Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and Benadryl together. It stopped his heart. He died 2 days before his 40th birthday. We were friends since grade school."
"We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle. I miss him every single day." ~ SnooCapers1425
People Reveal The Things That Are Unnecessarily Expensive | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes shelling out the extra cash for better quality is totally worth it. It can cost money to keep replacing cheaper items repeatedly. But some items ar...You First
"Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn't deserve how I was treating her." ~ SuccessfulEggplant82
"Good on you for recognizing the problem you were having. It takes a lot (and I mean a crap ton) for an individual to come to this realization. Most people like to live in denial or fight it. I did the same thing and by the time I realized it, it was to late. I hope your able to get through it." ~ Nakanon85
Oh Well...
"I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed.... It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️." ~ Mr_Nonesuch
"Over the years I have observed in number of friendships that its always me that makes the call. They always are delighted to hear from me. If I organise something they come. They just don't make the effort. I have been best man five times so I don't think that its because the friendships are not valued. I don't know, am I missing something?" ~ Yarray2
She's Gone...
"My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over."
"Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this crap and then leave me to clean up your mess."
"How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I felt like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was." ~ Scarecrowqueen
Far Far Away...
Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here." ~ ClutchCrgo
Dude... no!
"My best friend and best man in my wedding was married before me. I was still in college when he got married. He always talked about how him and his wife were going to have a 3 some. I thought good for you man. Shortly after I got married that changed to him saying he was going to hook up with this chick by himself as his wife kept chickening out."
"Um dude that's now cheating on your wife. He had a kid shortly after that and he was born right around my birthday. My wife was taking me out of town for my birthday and he invited me to his kids birthday party. I declined saying I would be out of town and he stopped talking to me." ~ overide
Too Soon
"She passed away aged 26. Cancer's a *itch. My friend was the best person in the world. Was lucky to have her in my life even if that time was cut short. Sorry to anyone else who's had to deal with the loss of someone to cancer. Here's hoping that one day there will be a cure. Also thanks for the silver. No idea what that actually means but appreciate it nevertheless. (: " ~ Zirafa90
Distance...
stoned the young ones GIFGiphy"Slowly everybody just grew apart." ~ Altruistic-Growth-75
"Basically. Some got jobs after college. Some of us joined the marines, some started their own companies. Some got married and had kids. Here we are in our late 30s and we'd be lucky to hear from any one of us via text." ~ WallSauceMan
League of Legends
"I moved out of our apartment when I got tired of his boyfriend doing nothing but play League of Legends all day long. I was the one paying for the internet and transferred it to my new apartment, and decided not to share the login information so they could use the crappy Xfinity open internet, and apparently that's all it took. From that moment on I was the enemy. I learned my lesson in just how little I was valued in that friendship." ~ kadyrama
"borrow"
"He stole from uh... everyone. He took my money twice, once straight up taking the whole butt wallet too. On another occasion he wanted to "borrow" my Gameboy Color and my extra copy of Pokemon Yellow. Important detail is the quotes around borrow. Moron never brought it back, probably never played it. Supposedly he did crap like this for drugs. But on other occasions he has stolen things just for the hell of it, so who knows. I was not the only victim." ~ TitanicMan
"So help me God"
"Best friend/room mate and I were watching quantum leap (episode "So help me God") when he suddenly jumped up and yelled "OH HECK"! He promptly collapsed and hit the floor. I tried to catch him before he bounced off the coffee table but ended up going down with him. Realized when doing CPR he was dead. Hypertropic cardiomyopathy, a birth defect, his heart exploded basically."
"He had strep for a couple weeks and was struggling with it, this ultimately is what caused his heart to give. When he left the apartment that morning to goto class I remember thinking "Geez he looks horrible, he might die..." Drank for a year solid after that." ~ MagneHalvard
BLUR
Awkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Honestly, they just expected more out of me than I was capable of giving. Just blurred lines and unrealistic expectations." ~ Pimpkin_Pie
RIP RC
"He stayed up all night putting finishing touches on a senior term paper in high school. The deadline for the paper was unforgiving and at least one person missed the deadline every year. Paper was worth 50% of the term grade. He was a smart guy, top 5 in a class of 500."
"Anyway, he didn't show up at school the next day. Around mid day they announced his death due to a traffic accident on his way to school. I'm not sure he was my best friend though he was a very good friend, but I'm pretty sure I was his best friend. Good guy, lousy ending. RIP RC." ~ -Blixx-
One of the natural parts of life... saying goodbye. Or in some cases getting ghosted and forgotten. Either way, chin up.
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I have been doing theatre for over a decade. I've lost count of the number of shows I've done. Which means I have no idea the amount of actors I've worked with. Or the amount of humans I've connected with. And the number of souls I've shared with. There are so many I miss. And even if I can't remember their names, clearly I'm not alone....
Buddy
best man nbc GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphyMy buddy from 1993-2003. He was a part of my daily/weekly life for an entire decade. I was the best man at his wedding. He married a lovely woman and she and I were even friends.
They moved away to a new town and started a family. We last went to a ballgame together in 2011. I never heard from him again after that. In that 10 years I was sure we would be friends for life. I did not expect that we would drift apart, but it happened.
The Kid at 15...
Kid I knew when I was 15. We weren't close friends, but he called me up in the middle of the night once to tell me he was going to kill himself. He hung up on me and wouldn't answer his phone after that.
I woke up my mom and convinced her to drive me to his house at like 3 am. He came out and was fine, he was just completely shocked I actually came to check on him.
He was really thankful that I cared at all. His home life was pretty crummy and he moved away to stay with his grandma soon after that. After he moved out of state we lost touch. That was 20+ years ago and I still wonder if his life got better. I hope he did.
Shannon
When I was seven years old, I had a best friend named Shannon. One day she didn't come to school, and nobody answered at her house when my mom called. A month later I got a phone call from her and she said they had to go away and she missed me, then the call cut out like someone took the phone and hung up on her. I never heard from her again.
I assume she and her family went into witness protection or something similar. I hope they made it through and she grew up okay.
Hey Friend
Forrest Gump Flirting GIF by MOODMANGiphyA good friend of mine that I've known since 4th grade.
His mother died from Huntington's and he tested positive for the gene for it which means, as far as I am aware, he can get it. I know he's done well for himself over the years but he still creeps into my mind from time to time wondering how he is.
I Just Knew
Once was with a guy in my wedding. Good friends but he moved far away. He came back for the wedding but never really saw him since. It was kinda a lesson in life that people don't just kinda stick in your life they are either there or not.
Another friend, best friend from high school.
Was in his wedding around 10 years after high school. Driving back I realized I was probably never going to talk to him again and haven't. I just knew. I'm very grateful for our friendship and somethings are just meant for a certain time.
See there? Everyone has that someone or three. Whether it's family, friend, teacher or stranger... each soul we pass by has an imprint to leave. Let's hear about more...
Hoon
When I was a child and living with my parents, we rented our basement to a man named Hoon.
He was super nice to us and even tutored my brother and I in school. The coolest thing was that he was super into astronomy and every so often, he set up his telescope in our backyard to look at stars and the moon and invited us to look as well. He became like family to us and when my parents decided to tear down our house and build a new place.
Hoon came along with us to live in a temporary space until the house was built, and then moved back to our new house as our tenant again. During this period, Hoon also drove my brother and I to school as we were not living within walking distance from our temporary space. After 1-2 years, one day my parents said that Hoon moved back to Malaysia and we never saw him again.
My then friend, who was another one of our tenants, told me that Hoon died and my parents were lying to me. I asked my parents about this but they said that isn't true. I think my then friend was just messing with me. I always wondered why he suddenly moved and haven't been able to find any online presence of him.
A Question...
His nickname was Question. Kid from high school used to come sit with us at lunch. Great guy, super nice.
Every. Single. Thing. He. Said. Was. A. Question?
He would ask you about your entire day.
Where you got your new shoes. Ask about your haircut. I would ask him the same questions and he wouldn't answer me, kind of stare off and almost ignore the question completely. Then he would ask you another question.
Oh Brother
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphyRunescape user Lonewolf1039. You made my childhood amazing, bro. Countless hours playing one of my childhood favorites with an online friend. We called each other brother.
If you're still out there, MK Groudon misses you, man.
Off the Earth
When I went backpacking around SE Asia I went with no particular plans. I ran into a Polish paratrooper my second day there who used me to get a couple of girls to go out for drinks with him (us) since I said "hey" to him earlier in the day. He wasn't going anywhere in particular either so we spent the next two months on the road going to 5 different countries.
The guy was literally my brother for those two months.
We parted ways when I had to go to a country he couldn't get a visa for and it was where I was to catch my flight home. We still talked daily for a few weeks and we were talking about starting a business then he falls off the face of the earth. I'm positive his dad was a someone so he didn't talk much about certain aspects of his life.
He didn't have any social media and he didn't renew the domain he hosted his email on so no way of contacting him. Even friends who we met along the way frequently ask if I've heard from him since they wanted to connect with him again.
I keep hoping one of these days we'll run into each other at a cafe or something by the waterfront having a beer like we did traveling.
X & Y
Happy Fun GIFGiphyI made a lot of questionable choices in my later teen years and early 20s, before I was capable of using solid judgment. I wonder about the people I unintentionally hurt, and I wonder if I should apologize a decade later.
I wonder what they would feel or think if I crossed their minds. I wonder if they've forgiven me and considered giving me the benefit of the doubt, or if they'll always remember me as "the one who did x" to them or "didn't do y." I feel a lot of regret and it still brings me a lot of shame and I let it hold me back a lot.
Bye Girl
I worked with a girl back in my early 20s when I was still in the service industry. We would hang out pretty regularly. I had a bit of a crush on her. I really thought there may have been something there...
Anyways. She stopped showing up to work. Everyone just assumed that she had quit. She was a bit of a wild child. Moved around a lot and had a bunch of different serving jobs.
So nobody really thought twice about it. (People just stop showing up all the time in that line of work.)
A few weeks later we found out that her family/police had been searching for her. Apparently she disappeared. Still think about it a lot actually. I'm guessing she's dead. But you never know.
I'm Good. Thanks Lady...
I often wonder what happened to the girl that hit me with her car that icy night and took my leg. It's been over 25 years now and I don't hold any animosity towards her (never did, it was just an accident). I hope she went on to have a good life. Mine has had it's ups and downs but I'm in the best place I've ever been now. I'd just like to have the chance to reassure her that I'm doing fine.
The Spaz...
In third grade, there was this black kid (only one in our grade) who was absolutely hilarious. He was a complete spaz and the whole class ate it up. Then one day he gave out invitations to his birthday party at some arcade, mini golf, and go kart place. Every kid's dream. The popular girl in the class laughed and said "why would I go to this?" and threw out the invite. Several classmates followed.
The day of the party comes, and it turns out it was literally his family and me that showed up. He didn't seem to care, but you could see the hurt in his parent's eyes. Honestly, that party was an absolute blast because it meant more tokens for each of us.
After that school year ended, his family moved to DC and I never saw him again. I still think about him sometimes to this day. Kids can be so cruel.
Joy Boy
Happy Best Day Ever GIFGiphyMy best friend from elementary school. He was so genuine and full of joy. I hope growing up didn't take that part away from him.
Call me Stephanie...
I was about 12 when there was this girl in my class who would talk to me when I was bullied badly at that point in my life. At first I thought it was a trick to bully me but she was genuine and actually talked to me like I was human. Of course I instantly crushed on her but aside hormones, she really was a kind hearted person who was pretty intelligent.
She always seems to be resourceful by adapting to any situations and just had this optimism that i haven't seen before.
On the day last day of school I was trying so hard to ask her for her number because I really felt like she was a friend and just a wonderful person in general. But I was too nervous and we both stared at our shoes for a little while before bidding farewell.
Man I really wonder how u been Stephanie, I really do hope u have an amazing life because u deserve it more than anyone I know.
A New Life
A friend of mine was going on a canoeing trip once and never got back, a view months later he was declared dead because he couldn't even be found by Interpol. Two years go by and he appears in a picture on Facebook, as German teacher in a school in Kazachstan. Apparently only his sister was in on the fact that he just wanted to start a new life. Hope he's doing well and wish to see him again some day!
In & Out
I had a friend in high school, he was an extremely talented artist, singer, comedian, and actor who could have built a successful career out of his talent. But he turned his back on that and decided to just slack off and smoke pot for a few years. Then one day he disappeared. Ended up some years later in a Central Asian country. He disappeared again. Then a few years later he resurfaced back in the US. Every few years he would pop back into the lives of our old circle of friends, and vanish. Then last summer he died of Covid, still relatively young.
The Butterfly...
There was a girl with a speech impediment when I was in 1st grade. I thought she was cute and would love to hang out with her on the swing sets. Nobody talked to her because they were either shy or felt she was mentally disabled.
Our class did a butterfly project where we were all given a caterpillar to raise. They came in these little plastic containers and hers ended up dying. I switched mine with here without her noticing and told the teacher mine died instead.
The teacher got me to partner with somebody else and I was okay with sharing. The girl was really happy to see the caterpillar become a monarch and released that Spring.
I never told her what happened to the caterpillar and she eventually moved never to be found again. I tried to search her on social media but no luck.
Weird how that still crosses my mind now and then. This was 2001 for me.
Casanova...
casanova GIF by Rayland BaxterGiphyI got married very young. My wife and I were friends with another young couple.
They broke up right after their first kid and then the husband went out and got two other women pregnant. 19 years old, divorced and 3 kids with 3 different women. I'm 41 now. We rarely fight but when my wife and I have a fight I think about him.
Ben is Gone
Benny. He was my best friend for a long time. We were closer that I was to my real brother. Then he and my brother's girlfriend fooled around and messed everything up. We parted ways, I got clean and went to school. He stayed in it and lived the life I always thought I wanted.
Now, his family never mentions him on social media and I don't know where he is. I hope he's OK. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.
What is the biggest takeaway from this read? You never know the impact you leave on another person. A moment is a moment, it's intimate, and the connection is real. Embrace the connection while you have it. Time is fleeting and that makes it our enemy. Enjoy each person you connect with, remember, every goodbye may be forever.
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